"I can't believe the board let her come back." For the first time in a long time, my dad is the one standing at the stove scrambling eggs and fixing pancakes for me and Lyla. Every time he comes over here in the mornings, I'm always the one that ends up slaving over the stove and fixing something for breakfast. Needless to say he shocked the shit out of me when he went over to the fridge and opened up the carton of eggs for once. I grab two coffee mugs out of the cupboard above the microwave and glance over his shoulder to make sure he's preparing the eggs the way I like my eggs prepared. I'm not a very good cook but if there's one thing I'm good at making, it's scrambled eggs. I always put a little bit of milk in my eggs, salt, pepper and just a little bit of onion powder and they always turn out to be delicious. My dad's eggs don't look quite like mine but they look edible so I'll deal. At least I don't have to cook them myself. "Better yet, I can't believe you're not pressing charges." He scrapes the fork along the bottom of the frying pan to scramble the eggs and as I pour the coffee into the two separate mugs, I just listen to him. He's been ranting about this ever since it happened three days ago and quite honestly, I'm tired of hearing about it. "She should be fired and fined…she shouldn't be allowed to come back."
"Dad, relax." I carry the two coffee cups over to the table and put them down. "It's not that serious. I'm fine and I'm over it." He's mad because the board decided to let Stacy come back to work and I opted not to press charges. I agree that it's a little messed up that the board let her come back, but I don't really see the point of pressing charges against her. First of all, she's allowed to come back to work and I would prefer to work in peace than to work with this overwhelming tension surrounding the air since we're going through court because I pressed charges on her. Besides…I'm not a vindictive kind of guy. She hit me, so what. There's such a thing as karma and she'll get what's coming to her eventually. There's no point in trying to get revenge. It just makes a very awkward situation for everyone involved and I'd rather just take the high road. Ultimately, Stacy punching me in the face didn't make me end things with Jo so essentially, I got the last laugh. "I know how to go to work, do my job, ignore people and come home. I'm above the dramatics." I work at 3:00 today, which means I'm going to be working with Stacy and today's her first day back after her three day suspension. I'm just going to keep my head down and ignore her.
"Well despite what you think Alex, you didn't deserve for that woman to hit you like that." My dad is all about respecting women so I can't help but wonder if his reaction would be different had it not been Jo that I ditched Stacy for. My dad has to know that I'm in the wrong. I told Stacy that I would call her. I never did, I ignored her calls and I got with another woman. She has every right to be pissed. I know for a fact that I deserved to be slapped but as far as the punch goes, I'm not so sure I deserved that one. It all happened so fast. First, I told her that I didn't think us dating was going to work out and she slapped me. Then I told her that the rumors she heard were true and that I was seeing someone else and that's when she punched me. I didn't see it coming and I think that's what made it worse. I can usually tell when people are about to raise their hand and hit me but Stacy's hits came out of nowhere. Anyway, I know that my dad knows that I deserved to be hit in some aspect but I think he's being so dismissive and lenient with my discrepancy because it's Jo that I ended it with Stacy for. "I told Michelle to watch out for that woman."
"I'm afraid I can handle things on my own, Pop." I look at the clock, find that it's 11:30 and sigh. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I'm about to have to leave for work shortly and Lyla's not even awake yet. Jo's watching her for me today though. She's working right now but she gets off at 2:00 and she's coming here when she gets off to sit with Lyla while I'm at work. It's been another two days since I've seen her and four days since Lyla's seen her. The last time I saw her was when I came to her house the night Stacy punched me and the last time Lyla saw her was the day on the beach so I think I'm justified in saying that Lyla is in dire need of her own quality Jojo time. I'm in need of my Jojo time too but I presume I'll be getting more Jojo time in these days coming. Miss Terri left last night and the only reason I didn't go down Jo's house at 10:00 last night to enjoy her newfound free time is because Lyla was sleeping. I was going to text her and tell her to walk down my house and see me after she walked her mom to the bus stop but I knew that she had to be at work early this morning and I just figured I could see her today. I can't wait to see her either. I'm going through Jo withdrawal.
I don't want to sound selfish or territorial, but I'm so glad her mom's gone because now I can have her to myself. She's my girlfriend, right? Why wouldn't I want to spend time with her? Her mom's gone, Lyla knows and there aren't any more disruptions so now I'm free to have MY Jo to myself. Is it bad that I don't want to share my time with her? I honestly never knew what people meant when they would say "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I think I get it now. The fact that my time with her has been so limited over this past week really put a lot of things into perspective for me and I just find that I really miss that woman. "You sure you don't need me to look after her today? I have plans with Michelle but Ly Bug is always welcome to tag along." My dad turns the oven burner off and removes the pan of scrambled eggs from the heat. His shop is closed today for maintenance so he's enjoying his day off at the beach with his lady candy and as much as I know Lyla would like to go to the beach, I don't think she needs to third wheel it with my dad and his girlfriend. Besides, Lyla would be heartbroken if she didn't get to see Jo today after I promised her she would.
"I told you Jo's looking after her, dad." I don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not hungry enough to eat so I just pick up a fork and watch as he scrapes some eggs out of the frying pan and onto my plate. "Jo's perfectly capable of looking after Lyla for a couple hours." I stab some egg with the spear of my fork and just stare at it. I'm honestly not hungry enough to stomach any of this but I force it down my throat anyway. "But don't make plans for Saturday night. I'm off and so is Jo and I think it's time we go out and do something together. So don't make plans. I'm gonna need you to babysit." I was thinking of maybe taking Jo up to Pensacola on Saturday. There's a movie theater up there and a few nice restaurants. We can catch dinner and a movie. I'm not really much of a movie person and I couldn't even tell you what new movies are coming out but I'm not sure what kind of romantic Jo is just yet so I'm going to go the more traditional route of dinner and a movie anyway. I'll let her pick the movie. "I'll pay you."
"You know you don't have to pay me to watch Ly Bug." He sits down in the chair across from me and starts to fork eggs in his mouth too. "How are things with you and Jo? You guys doing alright?" He puts the fork down and folds his hands. He takes every opportunity he possibly can get to question me about me and Jo. I don't tell him much when it comes to me and Jo's relationship. It's not because I don't want him to know or anything like that, it's more so because it's still so new and I don't want to risk anything messing it up. It's too soon to tell, but I think I'm going to eventually have something very special with Jo if we stay together. She's the only woman that ever looked past my looks. Everyone else in this stupid town just sees an attractive man and they drool and ask me out when they don't even really want to get to know me. But Jo didn't look at me like that. She looked past that and gave me, as a person, a chance. And she's the only woman that my daughter has ever taken a liking to, which is important. But most importantly, she's the only woman that ever takes my mind off Jenna. If she's the only woman that can do that, then that tells me that there's going to be something really special between Jo and me eventually. "You don't tell me much of anything anymore, Al."
"That's because there's not much to tell." The most I've told him about me and Jo's relationship is that we're actually in one. I haven't told him about the fact that she gave me head, I haven't told him that we've kissed, I haven't told him that we've slept in the same bed together and on the same couch. The only thing he knows is that we're actually dating. When I think about it, I guess I was telling my dad the truth. There isn't much to tell him about me and Jo, honestly. We don't do anything besides talk and kiss. I don't see her as much as I'd like to and it's not like we do anything together. There really isn't anything to tell. "I haven't seen her in a while. Her mom was in town so she was real busy with that and I've been working nonstop. There really isn't much to tell you about, Pop." He just stares at me from across the table. He thinks I'm concealing something. "What? There's not. I talked to her mom…I like her mom, her mom likes me. That's really the extent of it." I shrug and lifelessly pick up my fork again. I nudge some eggs around on my plate. "We don't ever get to spend time together…either Lyla's around, her mom's around or you're around. We don't get to be alone."
"Alex, if you ever need a moment with her, all you have to do is tell me. I wouldn't mind taking Lyla for a couple hours so you can spend time with your new girlfriend. Don't doom the relationship before it even starts. You know all you have to do is tell me to take her and I will. And it's not like I never offered. I offered to take her to my hotel room for the night back at Disney but you said no." He picks up his coffee cup. "And now you're complaining."
"Well that's because she wasn't my girlfriend in Disney, dad. And besides…" I sigh. "If she had saw that you left a stupid condom under my pillow, she would've thought that the entire reason I sent Lyla with you is so I could screw her…and I don't want to have sex with her." He squints his eyes and tilts his head at me and I immediately know what he's thinking. He's thinking that there's something wrong with me because I don't want to have sex with my girlfriend. I roll my eyes and again, put my fork down and stop messing with the eggs. "Of course I want to have sex with her. I just meant that I don't really want to do it when it still wouldn't mean anything, you know? I don't want to JUST have sex with Jo, I want…" I run my hands through my hair. "I dunno." I shrug once again. "She's just different."
"She's special?" He says that very matter-of-factly, as if he's found the word that I couldn't. He did though. I didn't know what I was trying to say about Jo and I guess the word "special" kind of covers everything I wanted to say about her. "Is she…puppy love kind of special or might be Jenna's replacement kind of special?"
"First of all, there is no 'Jenna's replacement'. I'm never going to replace Jenna in my heart and in Lyla's either. There's always going to be that piece of Jenna that still lingers and even if I do remarry, it's not a replacement. I'm not trying to replace Jenna. I'd never." I set that straight first and foremost. "And yeah…if you're looking of it in terms of that, I guess so. It's more than puppy love dad. There's something really there for her and I don't want to ruin it with things like sex and stuff. It's bad enough that the town is already ragging on her, calling her 'waitress girl' and stuff like that. I'm just trying to be careful…you know I have a history of screwing things up for myself and I really don't want to mess things up with Jo. I think she's my second chance and I want to keep it that way. I want her to continue being my second chance." He's looking at me like he's never been prouder of me, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't like it when my dad compliments me or talks highly about me. I hate that. "Do you believe in things like fate?"
"I don't know, Al." He starts stirring his coffee with the spoon in the mug and I can tell by the look on his face that I caught him a little bit off guard with that question. "I guess I believe that there's someone for everyone. I think that sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together. But fate? I don't know…why do you ask?"
"Lyla said something to me…and it's been making me think." I mumble. "You think Jenna was my…soulmate or whatever though, right?"
"I guess." He shrugs his shoulders and sits back in his chair with an inquisitive look on his face. "I don't really know about that. I mean, it's not like you spent years on the dating scene and it's not like you ever tried anything new. How would you know if Jen was your soulmate? You were with her for so long and never tried anything with anyone else…for all you know, you could've had something with a million different other girls but you never gave yourself the chance. I always thought that you and Jenna were too young to know what you wanted but it worked so I didn't really question it. Jen was a great girl and all…but I gotta tell you, I don't really know what you two saw in each other." I wrinkle my brow. He's never expressed this kind of concern to me before. "You two were polar opposites. I know some people say opposites attract but you and Jenna were on totally opposite ends of the spectrum. I honestly didn't think you and Jenna had anything in common. I didn't doubt that you loved her but it seemed kind of…dead, I guess."
"Dead?" I raise my brow. He nods his head. I honestly never knew that my dad felt this way. He and my mom both liked Jenna a whole lot and they were all for it when I decided to marry her. My dad starts to explain what he meant by the "dead" comment, but he doesn't need to so I put my hand up to stop him. He doesn't need to explain what he meant. I know perfectly well what he meant…I just never considered it that way. He's implying that my relationship with Jenna was stale and I gotta admit…there's a small part of me that thinks he might have a point. I'd known Jenna since we were thirteen. She moved to Millerton in the eighth grade and she was my science fair project partner. The teacher assigned our partners and I got paired with her so I was forced to spend two nights a week at her house while we tried to figure out how to generate electricity from a watermelon and a peanut. We became really close friends after the science fair started "dating" a few months after that and we were together ever since we were fourteen. I've had about six other girlfriends, not including Jenna and Jo. Of course, at 14 years old, Jenna and I didn't stay together. All throughout high school, we were off and on. I dated a girl named Kendall once, a girl named Alana, one named Payton, one named Madison, one named Allison and one named Bree. Nothing ever worked out with those girls and nothing ever worked out with the guys Jenna dated after me so we always just ended up back together. What my dad is saying is that I was Jenna for so long, without exploring any other options that I limited myself and eventually got bored. I never actually thought about it that way. I did love my wife. I loved her with every fiber of my being. I hope he's not questioning that though.
"You ever wonder why it was so hard for you to adjust with Lyla for a while there after Jenna passed?" He asks. I chew on the inside of my cheek and look down at the table. "You remember much Ly lashed out in those months? Jen almost had her completely trained, completely weaned off the pacifier, sleeping in her own bed, eating right. You remember that?" I slowly nod my head. "And after Jen went, she needed diapers again, she wanted a pacifier, she has to sleep with you and she wouldn't eat anything but fries and lasagna and soda. That's not normal…and I kind of have the feeling that you know that, don't you?" I say nothing. "You ever sit back and think about that? You ever sit back and think about why you didn't know how to continue to toilet train your daughter, to continue weaning her off the pacifier and all that? You didn't know what to do, Alex…and it's because you were never there." I just stare at a crumb on the table. "You know deep down inside that I'm right. You know deep down inside that Lyla didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with you and that's because you never paid attention. You spent more time at that hospital than you did at home…and you didn't realize how much you loved Jenna until she got sick. Jen was a good girl…a real good girl. Great wife, great mother…but as far as your relationship went? It shouldn't have taken her getting cancer for the two of you to realize that you loved each other." I still say nothing. He reaches across the table and puts his hand on my shoulder. "You can love someone as the mother of your child and not love them romantically the same way anymore. And frankly…if you have to wait for someone to get deathly ill before you realize that you love them…the relationship is already over."
I pinch the bridge of my nose and hold back a couple of tears. "…I've gotta get ready for work." I stand up from my seat and start cleaning up my kitchen. It's only 12:00 and he knows that I have to be at work at 3:00 so I start explaining before he can question me and figure out that I'm only kicking him out because I don't want to have this conversation anymore. "I should leave early. I gotta stop and get gas, drop something off at the post office and grab some money out the bank so I'm gonna leave a little earlier today." I pick up the mugs and dump the rest of the coffee down the drain. I don't really have to do any of those things. In truth, I can't leave for work until Jo gets here from her job. But I don't think my dad is thinking enough to put two and two together and he gets up to put his jacket on anyway. Either he's not thinking enough or he gets the idea that I really don't feel like talking right now. Either way, I'm glad he's leaving. "I'll see you later, Pop. I'm gonna run to the bathroom…you know your way out." I pat him on the shoulder as a goodbye and just leave out of the kitchen.
I really didn't need to hear about the kind of shitty parent I am. I already know. I walk through my living room and go straight for the staircase so I can go upstairs and do something I really need to do. Is it bad that everything my dad said is true? Jenna almost had Lyla completely toilet trained and after she died, I didn't know how to keep up with it because I never paid attention to how she was doing it. She almost had Lyla completely weaned off the pacifier but I didn't know how to keep up with it because I never paid attention. I didn't know how to parent my daughter because for the first three years of her life, I wasn't her parent. She didn't listen to me, she lashed out at me and she would scream and cry all the time because to her, I wasn't her father. I was her daddy, sure. But she didn't know what that was. To her, I was just some man that coexisted in the same house as her. I didn't participate in tucking her in, giving her a bath, reading her stories, any of that. I didn't even cook for her while Jenna was alive. To Lyla, I was just a man that lived in her house and would make her get down if she tried to snuggle up next to me on the couch while I was watching the Dolphins play. And my relationship with Jenna wasn't much better. When we were newlyweds it was great but it fell off eventually. We settled into the routine of me going to work and her staying home with Lyla while she taught classes at the community college a few days a week. Every day when I came home from work, dinner was done and waiting for me. I'd kiss Jenna on her cheek, rub Lyla's head, eat, sit on the couch and watch TV until I went to bed. And that was how my everyday life was. It was clear that Jenna and I loved one another but the boredom was apparent. We had an everyday routine and the way things were is how they always were. It wasn't much of a marriage but I was content with it.
When Jenna got sick, everything changed. My relationship with Lyla was still strictly coexistent but my relationship with Jenna changed drastically. I started taking more off days at work, I told her how much I loved her on a daily basis, I started to cook a little more and help out around the house. It took her getting sick on me to realize how much I loved her. I know that's not the way things are supposed to be. I know that you're supposed to love, honor and cherish your wife every second of every day. She shouldn't have to be diagnosed with cancer for you to show her that you love her. And it surely shouldn't take your wife dying for you to realize that you actually love your own kid either. I wanted to ask my dad if he believed in fate. I wanted to know what he thought about the fact that Jo's husband and Jenna died on the same day. I wanted to know if he thought that Jo lost a husband and a child while I lost a wife and a mother is coincidental. I'll ask him some other time though because I'm not quite sure I'm ready for his answer. I don't even know if I believe in fate at this point so the fact that my dad's answer was postponed is alright. All I know is…if things work out between me and Jo, I'll know what not to do in this relationship. It won't take her getting sick for me to realize what she means to me. And if my dad was right…about the things falling apart so better things can come together…then it's pretty clear that Jo's my better thing. And I'll do anything to protect that.
I stand outside my bedroom door, contemplating whether I should open it up or not and do the thing I really need to do right now. If I don't do it now, I might not be able to do it until I get home from work later and by then, it'll be too late in the night. But if I do it right now, I could potentially make things really hard for the rest of the night. I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take, because I really need to do this. I push my door open enough for me to get through and saunter to my bed. She's laying on her back, drowning in a sea of blankets with her head sinking down deep into a pillow. Her eyes are still peacefully closed and her mouth is open just slightly and her hair is still in the ponytail I stuck it in last night, but it's strewn all over her head and falling out. If I do this now, I might end up making her cranky, which would make it extremely hard for Jo to deal with her tonight. But if I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it until I get off work and by then, it'll be way too late…and I really need this. I pull the blankets off of her and nestle my hands underneath her armpits. "Ly…" I whisper her name and pick her up. She's still out cold. "Wake up, Ly…" I put my lips to her cheek. "Wake up for daddy."
She sighs and turns her head to the side just a little and whines. "Dada…" She calls my name, still hazy and groggy with sleep. I lean against the pillows propped against my headboard, kick my feet up on the bed and hold her against my chest as she settles her face into the crook of my neck to fall back asleep. Maybe I won't wake her up. The only thing I needed to do was hold her, really…so maybe I won't wake her up. I wrap my arms around her tiny little torso and rest my cheek against her head.
"I'm sorry, Ly." I rub her back in a circle as she still leisurely sleeps on my chest like there's nowhere else that's a more comfortable place for her to be. "For everything…daddy's sorry." I stroke her hair. "Mostly for being such a bad daddy, but for everything else too. Sorry you had to lose mommy and sorry you got stuck with me as your dad. But I swear to you…I'm going to be the best dad in the world from today on. I know it was rough for a few months there…and it's still a little rough, but I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna talk to you more, hold you more, get to know you better. I'm gonna be everything that mommy was, okay? Because I love you. You…you probably didn't think so. Especially when I'd come home and sit on the couch and tell you to get down when you wanted to lay on me. And probably with the way I didn't really kiss you when I came home…and I didn't read to you or anything but I do love you. Daddy doesn't know the first thing about all of this, but if you hang in there…I'm getting there. And I'm sorry for the way things were when mommy was alive. I wasn't the best dad but I'm gonna be…" I kiss her forehead. "I don't know where I would be without you. It probably sounds funny, but you're my rock. I know I should be yours. I should be the one keeping you sane but it's the other way around. You're the only thing that's kept me going. And I'm sorry if I let you down but I swear that ends today." I kiss her cheek again. "I'm gonna let you sleep now, but...I just needed to tell you that."
I reluctantly put her back down on the bed. I really should start getting ready for work.
Jo's Point of View.
"Hey Jo." As soon as I hear Lucille's voice, I spring up and start untying my apron from around my waist. I don't mean to seem rude or overanxious to get out of here, but I'm going to be late if I don't leave soon. She was supposed to be here to relieve me at 1:45. It's 1:50. She's five minutes late and I know that probably doesn't seem like a big deal but I have somewhere else I need to be. I even gave up my break so I can leave early today and she's late getting here. I really have to leave ASAP. "It's nice to have you back. You have fun with your mom?" She opens the gate and comes back behind the bar. I toss my apron underneath the bar and grab my charge tips off Bethany's box. I nod my answer to Lucille because I literally don't have time to talk right now. I have to leave right now before I make Alex late for work. He can't leave until I get there to watch Lyla and he has to drive to Pensacola, which is still half an hour away, not accounting for the traffic. "In a rush?" She grabs her drawer from underneath the bar and starts setting up to take over bartending for me.
"I have to go." I squat down so I can grab my keys and my purse from the slot underneath the bar where I keep it. "I have to be at Alex's by 2:00 so he can leave for work. He can't leave until I get there because I'm watching Lyla. So yeah, I'm in a rush and yeah, I had a nice time with my mother. She annoyed the hell out of me but I miss her so much and can't wait for her to come back." I ramble, just spitting things out that I think she'd want to hear. When I came into work today, everyone already heard the rumor going around town that I made out with Alex on the beach. So since everyone knows, I'm way past hiding it from them and I've been quite open with all my coworkers about my relationship with him. I'm not so secretive anymore, that's why I don't mind them knowing that I'm heading to Alex's house when I leave here. I wouldn't dare tell a soul about this, but I really wish my mom were still here. Just for today, at least. She left yesterday evening and I didn't miss her until I got to work today. Let's just say that work was bad today, to say the least. For starters, I've overheard about 10 of my customers talking about me and they call me "waitress girl". Someone even flat out asked me if my name was Jo and if I was the one dating Alex. I didn't tell them anything though. I just shrugged my shoulders and since they weren't my customers, I didn't have to interact with them anymore. However, my nametag ended up popping out from behind the collar of my shirt where I usually tuck it, and she and her girlfriend saw that yeah, my name is Jo. I was waiting the table right next to theirs and I heard them talking about me again. I had a tray of beer in my hands and when I turned around, I stumbled and I spilled beer all over myself. I don't really have proof, but I think they might've tripped me. I've been working here for two months and I've never stumbled with a tray in my hands and I'm not typically a clumsy person. I felt a little rut in the floor when I stumbled and I'm pretty sure that one of those girls tripped me but I'm not 100% certain so I didn't do anything about it. I can deal with the rumors and being harassed and stuff. Millerton is still better than the crap I had to put up with back in Chamberlain.
Anyway, I just really want my mother. I didn't cry over anything said to me and in all honesty, I probably won't ever cry over the things that jealous people say. But I could use one of my mother's hugs right now after such a long, shitty day. "Oh yeah…I heard about you and your boy candy smooching it out on the beach." Lucille teases. While I'm still squatting down to find my keys, I roll my eyes. Of course she heard, I'm not surprised. I finally find my keys, stand up and prepare to leave. "Congrats on the man though, girl. He's a good one." She winks at me. I crack a half-smile, nod as a form of goodbye and head out the door. I run down the front steps of the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. I go over to the black 2015 Chevrolet Sonic that now belongs to me and unlock the door. This car is without a doubt the nicest thing I've ever owned in my entire life. It's brand new and it had two miles on it when I drove off the lot with it. If it wasn't for my mother, I wouldn't have it. I reluctantly agreed to get on the bus and go to the dealership with her but that's when I thought she was only going to HELP me pay for a cheap jalopy that was rundown. I thought we were going to put our money together and she was going to HELP me pay for a cheap car. I didn't know she was taking me to an actual dealership to meet with an actual dealer to get me a brand new car.
I wasn't expecting to drive off the lot with anything. I was expecting that we were going to have to go to someone that was selling a car on their own. With the foreclosure of the house back in Chamberlain on my credit report, my credit score is in the tanks so I didn't think anyone would finance me for a car. We sat down and talked to this dealer named Ray and the only thing he could finance me for was a 2015 Ford Focus or a 2015 Chevy Sonic, with a cosigner. We test drove both the cars and I liked the Sonic better so that's what we went with. My mom put a thousand dollar down payment on the car for me and she cosigned on the loan. My payments are $306 a month but I think I'll be able to swing it. I make pretty decent money waitressing and bartending. I should be able to make it. It's a little more expensive than I would like for it to be, but at least I have a car and I'll pick up extra shifts if I need to. I pull out of the parking lot and turn on my signal so I can make the left turn that'll take me to Pembroke Drive.
I found out that my mom has all this extra money from her boyfriend, Tom…the one I cussed out. He didn't give her the money so it's not like he's her sugar daddy or anything like that. He's a tax attorney up in New Jersey so he makes decent money. They live together now and since my mom's not paying all the bills on her own anymore, she has extra money to do things with. That's how she was able to buy me furniture, a car, everything. She saved up a little bit from her paychecks because she knew that she was coming here and she had enough to get me the rest of the things I need to live comfortably here in Florida. I feel kind of lousy though. My mom helped me get a car, a couch, a bedroom set and a kitchen table and all I gave her was a snow globe from Disney World. You would've thought I gave her the world when I handed it to her though. She was so intrigued by it and she thought it was the best thing in the world. She gave me the biggest hug and she wouldn't stop pushing the button that made it light up and make noise. I'm gonna miss her. Not sharing the same bed with her, not sharing the same bathroom with her and definitely not arguing with her. But I'm gonna miss having her around…and maybe I'll even miss a little bit of her kisses and cuddles.
X X X
I jog up the steps to his porch, swing open the screen door and knock on the wooden part. I texted him and told him that I was on my way because I didn't want him to think I'd forgotten about watching her and when he texted me back, he told me to just come in because the door's open. Still, I don't feel right just walking in his house so I at least knock first. I twist the knob and open the door. I kick my shoes off on the rug and shut the door behind myself. "AAAALEX." I scream his name to let him know I'm here. I look around the kitchen. It's relatively clean, except for the fact that there's a sink full of dishes. It doesn't look like he made her anything for dinner so I guess I'll have to take care of that. I walk into the living room and find that there's a sippy cup on the table, a bag of cheddar goldfish on the sofa and Bubble Guppies is playing on TV. "A—" I start to yell his name again but before I can, the sound of footsteps on the stairs prompts me to stop. They're not his footsteps though. They're entirely too light to be his footsteps.
"JoeDoe! JoeDoe, JoeDoe, JoeDoe!" She rounds the corner to come off the steps and starts sprinting towards me. "YOU BACK! YOU BACK!" I can't help but smile at that face. She's so happy to see me. I don't think anybody's ever been this happy to see me in my life. I kneel down on the ground and hold my arms out and sure enough, she jumps right into them. "JoeDoe!"
"Hey!" I wrap my arms around her and hold her up as she wraps her legs around my waist to be sturdier. I keep my arms underneath her butt and look down at her as she looks up at me. She's smiling and showing off her crooked little teeth and her beautiful green eyes are all lit up with excitement. "Oh, my baby…I missed you." I spin around with her in my arms just to make her laugh and I'm successful. She giggles and continues to smile at me like I'm the greatest thing in the world to her. It feels so good to have someone stare at me like that. "Did you miss me?" She nods and says "uh huh". I take one hand away from her butt and stroke her messy hair with it. I haven't seen her since the day we took that trip to the beach but I swear it feels like it's been so much longer than that. "I missed you too, baby. What'd you do while I wasn't here? Were you good?" I shift her onto my hip and start walking towards the steps. "Tell me everything."
"I go poop on the potty. And I falled in but I still good 'acause I goed poop." She starts messing with my ear, which is something she hasn't done in a while. "I falled in and it hurt weal bad."
"You fell in?!" I gasp. "Well at least you actually went, right? I'm so proud of you, being a big girl. You're such a big girl." I hold my hand out. "High five for being a big girl." She slaps my hand with hers. "Alright!" I put her down as soon as we reach the top of the steps and bite my lip to bear with the fact that my hips are aching today for some reason. She starts walking towards Alex's room so I'm assuming that's where he's at. I follow her and go inside the room and just like I thought, he's in here. His back is turned towards me and he's shirtless, rummaging through a drawer in search of a shirt. I sit down on the messy bed and look at him. His back is so sexy. It's so muscular and bulky and ugh…he has a nice gripping back. I'd scratch it. "And here I thought I was gonna be the one to make you late." I reach down and help Lyla climb up on the bed. She crawls over to me and sits down in the middle of my lap and puts her head against my chest. "And you're not even dressed." I start smoothing Lyla's hair away from her forehead.
"Shut it." He turns around with a brown t-shirt in his hand and starts putting it on. With that crooked grin on his face that I love so much, he walks over to the bed and sits down next to us. His hair is all messed up from scraping the shirt over his head so I reach up and fix it for him by stroking it forward. I don't know how he keeps his hair so soft. "How was work?" He asks me, which I just shrug the answer to and keep rubbing his hair. I don't want to lie to him but I also don't want to tell him about what a shitty day I had so I'm just not going to say anything. "Why do you smell like beer?" He puts his hand on my knee. "You have a drink after work today?"
"You know I don't drink." I clear my throat. "No um…customer. Spilled beer all over me. Total accident." I don't exactly lie to him. It's not the truth but it's not a lie either. A customer did spill beer on me, sort of. "I didn't have time to go home and take a quick shower because my relief was like fifteen minutes late." I start messing with Lyla hair again. She's just really content with resting on my chest and I'm content with holding her. "So I'll take care of dinner? The usual…dinner, bath, bed?"
"Yeah." He nods his head and picks Lyla up from me. "Ly, go to your room and clean it up a little bit so you and Jojo can play in there later. Just go put all your Barbies back in your bin, okay?" He puts her down on the floor. She nods her head and like the good little girl she is, she just listens and hurries off to her room. "I can leave you money if you want to order something. There's stuff for you to cook but if you don't feel like it…" He stands up and walks back to his dresser. "Just let me know what you want to do."
"I'll make something. I'll find something for us to eat." I lie down on one of his pillows and look up at the ceiling. This is the first time I've seen him since he came to my house all bruised up two days ago and I really wish he wasn't about to leave out the door. I miss him so much and he's standing right in front of me. He hasn't left yet and I already miss him. I sigh and sit up again. He's looking in his drawer again. "You're gonna be late."
"Don't worry about me." He closes the drawer and walks back to the bed with a red t-shirt in tow. "Put this on." I narrow my eyes. "You smell like booze, put it on." He tosses it to me. I crack a smile, roll my eyes and start taking off my shirt. I notice that he turns around. "So what are you doing Saturday?" He talks to me with his back turned.
"…You can turn around Alex. It's not like I'm naked." I take my beer-smelling t-shirt off and toss it on the floor. He turns around and I can tell he wants to look at me in my bra but he's being respectful and looking down at the ground instead. "…Alex, you can look if you want. I'm not gonna bite you. They're just boobs and it's just a bra." I start putting the shirt on as he picks his head back up. "And I'm not doing anything on Saturday, why?"
"I was thinking dinner, movie maybe?" He flops down on the bed next to me and rests his chin on my knee. "Some alone time…just me and you."
"I'd love that." I lean forward and he knows what I'm aiming for. He lifts his head up and closes his eyes. I close mine too and put my lips against his. Making sure that our lips never part, he sits up straight so he can kiss me better and tilts his head. I rest my hands on his cheeks and caress the scruff on his face from not shaving.
"…Ewww." As soon as we hear that, we pull away from each other so quick it's like our lips caught fire. Both of us look at the doorway and Lyla's standing there with her nose crinkled and her tongue sticking out. "Yuck."
"Yuck?" Alex springs up off the bed and scoops her up. "Yuck?!" He holds her up in the air over his head. "I'll show you yuck!" He swirls her around in the air and slams her down on the bed. She squeals in delight and Alex starts kissing her cheek. "This is yuck!" Lyla's laughing her little heart out and trying to push Alex away but he's persistent and the two of them are just precious. I guess she really is okay with us dating because she saw us kissing and she said nothing but "ew" and "yuck". She didn't pitch a fit, go running away and crying.
She really is okay with it.
X X X
"More pepperoni?" I pull open the plastic bag and hold it out to her. She nods and takes a few pieces of it from the bag. She eats the pieces instead of putting them on the pizza we're making. "Give Jojo a piece." She holds out a piece in her little hand and I lean forward and open my mouth. "Mmm, thank you." I chew it and start sprinkling the oregano on the pizza. I wonder if Alex knows that she likes to cook. She's been really well-behaved while helping me make the pizza and she's actually been helpful. She helped me spread the sauce on the pizza shell, she helped me sprinkle the cheese on it and she tapped out at the pepperoni because she'd rather eat it than put it on the pizza. "I gotta put the pizza in the oven now…it has to cook and get all yummy so we can eat it." I let her keep the bag of pepperoni instead of taking it away. I open the oven, pick up the cookie sheet that we put the pizza on and slip it in the oven. "You like cooking, Lyla?" Her mouth is full of pepperoni so she just nods. "Well you're a good little helper."
"We maybe make cookies later JoeDoe?" She stuffs her hand back into the pepperoni bag. "For daddy?"
"We'll see." I start cleaning up the mess we made. "What do you think about preschool?" I throw away the pizza sauce jar and the cheese bag. "Do you think you're gonna like it?" She shrugs. "I think you'll like it. I think you'll meet lots of friends and you'll learn some cool stuff while you're there. I think you'll really like preschool."
"…What if they no like me?" She tilts her head to the side. "I tell dada no pweschool and him goin' to make me go. Him making me go tomorrow."
"Preschool doesn't actually start tomorrow, baby. Tomorrow's just signups." I lean against the counter so we can continue our conversation. "But I think you'll really like it. It'll be just like going to a big girl school. You can wear pretty clothes, get on the school bus and pack your lunch. You'll be sitting at a table and you'll be writing stuff and coloring and learning things. You're gonna have a teacher and you're gonna have lots of friends there. Preschool is fun. It gets you ready for Kindergarten." I hold my hand out for the pepperoni now. She's had enough. I don't want her to spoil her appetite. She hands me the bag and swings her feet. "You're already so smart. You go to preschool to get smarter. You'll make lots of friends and they'll all love you. Just tell them your name." She pokes her lip out. "If I asked you what your name is, what would you say?"
"…Lyla Bella Kaweb." She scratches her head.
"Good job. Tell me about yourself." I rest my chin in my head. "Tell me stuff about you."
"My name is…my name is Lyla Bella Kaweb, I four years old and I like um…I like puppies and my pet fishy and um…Tayla Swiff."
"There you go!" I pick her up off the counter and kiss her on her cheek. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" She shakes her head. "You're gonna do so good in preschool."
Alex's Point of View.
I kick my shoes off at the door and take my jacket off as well. Work went incredibly slow today. Any other day, I'm surprised with how quickly the day flies by but today was so slow and so boring and I kept watching the clock, which didn't help. I think the reason it went by so slow is because I knew that Jo's waiting for me at home. I saw her for half an hour earlier today before I went to work and I spent the entire day just thinking about her. I was wondering what she was doing, how she was holding up…I was just thinking about her and I couldn't wait to get home and see her. I hang my jacket up on the back of one of the chairs and stalk into the living room. It smells like pizza in here but Jo did text me and tell me that she and Lyla made a pizza for dinner so that's obviously where the smell is coming from. The living room is empty and it's dark so I bypass it and start walking up the steps. They might be upstairs playing in Lyla's room still. It's 11:30 at night and Lyla should be sleeping but sometimes she likes to wait up for me so if that's the case, I don't really mind.
Once I get up the stairs, I go to Lyla's room and push open the door. Her pink and purple nightlight is on and projecting star shadows all over the room. Since the light is on, I can see that she's actually sleeping in her bed. I wrinkle my brow and walk closer to see if my eyes are deceiving me. Nope. Lyla's sleeping soundly in her bed with Lionel the stuffed lion resting on the pillow next to her. She's out cold too. Okay, now I'm scared of Jo. She must possess some magical, supernatural powers because she actually GOT Lyla to sleep in her OWN bed. I bend down and kiss my little girl on her forehead before I leave out of her room again. I can't believe she actually got Lyla to sleep in her own bed. She's a wizard or a genie or something because that's nearly impossible. I shut Lyla's door behind myself and go to the bathroom in search of Jo. If she's not downstairs on the couch then she must be in the bathroom. The bathroom door is open though, so I guess not. I turn back around and head for my bedroom.
My bedroom is where she's at. The small lamp next to the desk in the corner of my room is on but that's it. The TV is off, the rest of the lights are off and it's really quiet in here. She's laying in my bed, resting on her side with her eyes closed. She doesn't have blankets over her but she's wearing the same jeans she had on when she came here and the t-shirt I gave her. She must've been tired. I walk over to the bed and hover over her for a second, trying to figure out where I should start. Her face is so relaxed and calm, I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful. Her hair is resting neatly on her shoulders and one of her arms is stuffed up underneath the pillow she's laying on while the other is resting gently at her side. I go down to her feet and start by taking her socks off. I've never really looked at Jo's feet close up without socks on so while she's laying dormant, I take advantage. She has really small feet. They're not very big at all and they're not scary looking like some people's feet. Hers are smooth, not at all cracked and her toenails are neatly painted dark blue. Her toes are small, short and stubby but they're pretty. They're one of the few pairs of feet I wouldn't mind rubbing. The only feet I've ever rubbed are Jenna and Lyla's feet. I'd rub Jo's though. Hers don't scare me.
I move up to her waist so I can unbutton her jeans. I unsnap the button and the two pieces of fabric that were being held together by the button fly apart and expose the top of a pair of fluorescent pink underwear. I wrap my fingers around the waistband of her jeans and start pulling at them. I get them down around her thighs and stop. God, she's perfect. She's literally perfect. You know how most women have flaws? Maybe some cellulite on their thighs, a stretchmark here or there, scars or even pimples? Not Jo. Her body is absolutely flawless—the bottom half of it, at least. She has the same brown beauty marks on her chest and shoulders that she has on her legs. And I want to be respectful, I really do but I have to look between her legs. Even though she's covered with underwear, I can tell she either shaves it or waxes it. She doesn't have any hair around her bikini line and the pink fabric that her underwear are made of is thin and silky. If she had hair, it would be poking out of the fabric and it's not. There's not even a slight discoloration in the fabric that would suggest she has hair either. I knew she was perfect but the fact that she's groomed is just an added bonus, really. I don't particularly care if a woman is shaved or not. It all serves it's purpose, shaved or not shaved. But the fact that she's groomed just lets me know that she's clean enough to keep it maintained and I do think it's sexy to have it shaved.
I snap myself out of gawking at my girlfriend's beautiful body and continue to take off her jeans. Her legs only boast small imperfections and well…I don't think they're imperfections at all. Her scars are sexy, beautiful even. I trace my fingers along them and find that they're just as smooth as her skin is. She came into my life and made me start to question the existence of God but I tell you…if there is a God, I'm thanking him so much right now. For giving me her and for not taking her. Just looking at her scars, I can tell that the car accident was pretty horrific. Thank you God for not taking her and letting her live. I fold her jeans up and put them on the chair at the desk, right along with her socks. Before I turn off the light and crawl into bed with her, I pull the covers back and pick up her legs so I can put her underneath of them.
"Mmm…Alex?" She jolts out of my grasp and sits up really quickly. It's crazy how she just went from being dead asleep to wide awake.
"Shh…just go back to sleep." I start taking off my shirt so I can go to bed too. "It's late, go back to sleep."
"No…I have to…" She's a little bit disoriented but she's conscious. She runs her fingers through her hair and takes a groggy breath. "I gotta go home. I gotta take a shower and I work tomorrow…I didn't mean to…" She yawns. "Fall asleep." She wipes the tears that came out of her eyes with the yawn away. "I put Lyla to bed and I came in here to get my shirt and…your bed is really soft." I chuckle. Her eyes are so big right now, which is saying something because Jo has big eyes as it is. "She ate, we…played a little bit, I gave her a bath and…" She yawns once again.
"Jo, go back to bed." I take off my pants so I'm only in my boxers and walk around to the other side of the bed. "You can sleep here."
"No, I can't…I work tomorrow." She runs her hands through her hair again to formally wake herself up.
"What time?" I ask.
"9:00 to 2:30." She stretches her arms out. "Same shift I was supposed to work today…these morning shifts are kicking my ass."
"I'll wake you up. I'll set my alarm and wake you up. I'll throw your clothes in the washer and stuff. You can sleep here. I want you to stay the night." I climb in the bed and pull the covers back to offer her a side of the bed. "Stay the night."
"…Okay." She smiles and climbs between the sheets with me. I reach over and shut off the light. "But Alex, if you start snoring, I'm kicking your ass off the bed and going home."
"Deal." I turn towards her and fluff up my pillow. "You coming with me to sign Lyla up for preschool tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'll come. It'll have to be when I get off work though. Aren't signups until 3:00? I thought they were until 2:00 but the poster hanging outside the YMCA says until 3:00, I think." She scoots closer to me. "But yeah, I'm coming."
"Alright." I reach across the short distance and put my arms around her. "Night."
"Kiss." She lifts her head up. I peck her on her lips and she nestles her face in my chest.