Flowers From Hell

The Little Things

Summary: Ghoul Reapers don't get the little things.

Like how Tôshirô probably will never get laid because of this

I honestly just wanted to do a relationship scope but there wasn't any good excuse

You know what's funny this may be the first time I went for angst and came up with humor instead. welp there's a first for everything i guess

Still don't own 'em...

It's in the middle of a captain's meeting. Tôshirô, the only present Ghoul Reaper, has his kagune out in his own show of intimidation, rather than being petty and flaring his reiatsu like the peacock Kuchiki Byakuya and headstrong Kurosaki Ichigo are doing, shooting irritated looks at each other. There's a long-suffering expression on Soi Fon's face and consternation on Ishida Uryû's, and the Captain-Commander Kyôraku Shunsui isn't making a single attempt to regain control of the room.

Tôshirô gives a little sigh under his breath, and Gin, just down the line and barely in arm's reach of Tôshirô's bristling Ukaku, absentmindedly buries his fingers into the icicle scales.

He honest-to-God wasn't thinking.

There's a wild burst of reiatsu and everyone is thrown back by the sheer force of energy from the young captain. When the dust settles, the gaping captains are treated to the sight of Tôshirô, crouched on all fours like an untamed animal, his teeth bared and his pupils constricted to needlepoint, his Rinkaku thrashing wildly and his Ukaku puffed to look twice its size, his right shoulder shifted forward to aim his right wing at Gin's throat.

There is a deafening silence.

Ichigo, who landed on his ass against the wall and shielded his face with his arms, lowers them, and says, his voice low, "Tôshirô."

Tôshirô doesn't move an inch.

Ichigo's voice is louder now, and an impatient hiss. "Tô-shi-rô."

Tôshirô blinks, and suddenly his reiatsu plummets as he deflates, and his kagune shrink back as he leans back and rocks on his heels, looking dazed.

Lisa clears her throat. "I'm sorry, but what the hell was that?"

"Maa, I think we'd all like to know that, Lisa-chan," says Shunsui evenly, tilting his sakkat back to observe his captains from shadowed eyes.

The meeting room is a mess, with the table thrown to the side and the soul reapers themselves strewn everywhere, in various degrees of embarrassment. Soi Fon casually dusts herself off, while Kensei pushes a disgruntled Shinji off of his lap.

Tôshirô's voice is vague when he says, tremulously, "Who was that?"

Uryû shoots him an alarmed look that points out everything wrong with that sentence, and the insinuations made thereof, and Tôshirô realizes this, quickly saying, "No, that's not what I meant—someone..."

The color mounts very faintly in his face and he trails off. There are looks of enlightenment brightening the captains' faces.

"Dude, did someone grope you?"

Tôshirô yelps and actually turns scarlet. "No!" Then he stops, and flushes further, and his Ukaku curls in agitation. "Well..."

Shunsui crows triumphantly, "Our little Shiro-chan's all grown up, enjoying getting felt up!" and ends up with his face in the wall where Rinkaku slammed him in.

Gin coughs and says sheepishly, "Uh, Shiro-chan..."

Tôshirô stares at his significant other for a good ten seconds while what he's saying sinks in. Then Tôshirô says dubiously, "Did you touch my Ukaku?"

"Uh, yes."

Tôshirô huffs out a sort strained laugh and says, "Gin, kagune are extremely sensitive. Extremely sensitive. Does this mean anything to you?"

There's another long, awkward silence.

Isane ends up putting the two into couple's therapy. This lasts for about three sessions before Gin puts the "therapist"—a Fourth officer—in the hospital for making indelicate comments about ghouls.

There are jokes about groping for ages after this incident.