I never update and I feel so so bad about it but don't worry I haven't forgotten about this story yet! I just have horrible cases of writer's block every other week and even though I have a plan, sometimes it just takes too long to implement it. I mean, does anyone even read this anymore? If you do, I'd love some feedback. I think I've gotten a little rusty with the whole building-up-characters thing and nobody wants to read that.

Sierra sighed as she ran her fingers over the mahogany wood of the front door of her home. It was annoying enough that walking was one of the most difficult things for her now, but even more so she had to climb stairs every time someone tried to enter the house because of all the ridiculous security wards her father insisted on putting up.

"It is the Potters, miss," informed Zeena, one of the house-elves. "Mistress Potter and Master James and he brings friends."

"That's nice," she murmured quietly as the last of the locks finally opened. Almost absently, she pulled open the door and smiled at James's mother. "Hi, aunty."

"Hello, dearie," Mrs. Potter smiled and walked in, giving Sierra a light peck on her cheek. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm supposed to be walking around a little," she answered. She gestured to her crutches, which were leaning against the table near the door. "Its quite annoying."

"Well, you sit down and I'll just bring you some tea," hazel eyes flashing with concern, Mrs. Potter was gone in flurry of brown hair and something that smelled like roses, Zeena hot on her heels.

"I told you she just wanted an opportunity to fawn all over you," James brushed the snow off his clothes and followed his mother inside. He kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. "I hope you don't mind, the blokes were awfully anxious to see you."

Sierra looked at him in confusion. "I don't mind, James, what-" she trailed off as she saw who else was on her doorstep. She felt her heart sink to her stomach and automatically took a step back.

Remus hurried inside and gave her a quick hug, muttering something about helping Mrs. Potter in the kitchen. Sierra barely heard him. James grasped her elbow and tugged her away from the door so Sirius could enter. She didn't take her eyes off of him as he stood in front of her. His expression was wary; hers was terrified.

She didn't want him to look at her. She knew what she looked like. Her legs were almost skeletal in their slimness, except for the area around the knee of her right leg, which was conspicuously bulged due to the thick plaster that was there to make sure her bones set properly. She knew she was pale, her eyes were hooded and she wore absolutely no form of make-up. Her baggy sweater efficiently hid her torso, but it also made her look anorexic. However, her woolen leggings and skirt highlighted her other deformities quite well. She saw Sirius's eyes flicker down to her knee, and she blanched, almost cringing away from him.

His eyes shot up to hers and his brows furrowed. "Hey," his voice was gentle as he extended a hand towards her.

Sierra felt her heart ache at the concern in his eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to respond. She tore her eyes away from his and reached for her crutches. Wordlessly, she led the way into the small drawing room where there was a fire. Mad and Al were sitting on the hearth, huddled together. They jumped up when Sierra entered and immediately began hovering.

"Sissy, can we get you anything?" asked Mad, eyes wide as she watched her cousin hobble towards the sofa. When Sierra finally reached it and sat down, Al came running with a footstool and nudged it under her foot, effectively giving it support.

"Stop fussing," was all she said. She kept her gaze fixed on her hands. "Go say hello to-"

"James!" she winced at the shriek as both girls flew at him, knocking him back into the armchair next to Sierra's sofa. He chuckled and gave both girls two quick kisses before prying their hands off his coat and pointing to Sirius.

"That's my friend, Sirius," he introduced. Sierra sneaked a glance at him. His gaze was locked on her form, but he looked up and smiled at the two girls when James said his name. Her heart melted.

Mad and Al grinned brightly and bounded up to Sirius. Mad, being slightly shorter, tugged at his jacket, indicating that she wanted him to come down to their eye level. He complied and both girls promptly gave him a kiss on each cheek. He laughed, causing Sierra to smile, even though she refused to look up.

"He's been going mad," murmured James from next to her. Sierra looked at him sharply. "You didn't answer any letter he sent for over a week, and I had to physically stop him from leaving school in the middle of the night to come see you. The only reason we're even here is because I was sure he'd go off his rocker if we didn't come."

Sierra's throat felt dry. She cleared it and tried to speak, but her voice was still hoarse. "I didn't expect to see him."

James smiled sadly. He squeezed her hand and returned to watching his friend interact with the twins. Sierra wanted to tell him what was on her mind, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. His mother entered the room with Remus at that moment, and both received the same greeting from the little girls as Sirius had. Mrs. Potter handed Sierra a mug of tea and took her aside while James and Remus entertained the twins. Sirius sat with them, but Sierra could feel his eyes on her from across the room. Her hands trembled as she sipped her tea.

"You need to tell me what's going on here," said the older woman matter-of-factly. "I've basically adopted you since you were born and that boy is no less than a son to me, and you're both utterly miserable."

"Aunty-"

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady. I know a broken heart when I see it. Merlin knows, I've been seeing it in James ever since he became besotted with Lily Evans," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine," muttered Sierra. She refused to meet Mrs. Potter's stern gaze. "I just… we need to sort this out ourselves, but thank you. You've always looked out for me."

"That mother of yours would haunt me forever if I did anything less," said Mrs. Potter, smiling sadly.

Sierra leaned her head against her shoulder and sighed. "I just…" she trailed off, but Mrs. Potter gently nudged her, and she felt compelled to continue. "I just don't know where we stand. We dated, and Merlin knows I liked him far too much, but its just…" Sierra shrugged helplessly. "I guess I don't know. Maybe this is too much. I'm horrifying to look at anyway."

"Dearie, he's not that shallow," said Mrs. Potter gently. "You're beautiful, even with the bandages and the crutches. I know he can see it too. He knew what to expect when he came here. Your friends had all told him, and so had I. But he was adamant. Give him some credit."

"Its not like I think he's a bad person," protested Sierra. "He's amazing but that's just it! He can do way better and I don't want things to get messy. We were so normal, just being friends as well. I liked talking to him. I just liked having him around," she finished lamely.

Mrs. Potter's eyes twinkled knowingly. "You don't want to break up with him, do you?"

Sierra sighed miserably. "No. Not at all."

!

"I figured you'd be out here."

Sierra sighed. "I figured you'd find me soon enough," her hands closed tighter around the iron railing that her father had installed when the twins had been born. It clashed horribly with the stone exterior of the house, but he had taken no risks when it came to Mad and Al's safety. Sierra had always hated it, but just now, she was grateful. She doubted she could handle any confrontation with Sirius without support.

"You certainly made it a point to avoid me as much as you could," Sirius joined her on the balcony, leaning against the railing next to her. Sierra tried to avoid his gaze, but it burned right through her. She was forced to look at him, and she didn't like what she saw. Had she actually made his eyes go that dark with anger?

"You can't blame me," she spoke without considering the effect her words would have.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Sierra started to get annoyed. "Do you really need me to point it out?"

"Yeah, I do," his voice was still low, but his tone was one of suppressed rage. "I get that I was an idiot and I didn't come to see you in the hospital wing at first, but it's not my fault that you disappeared on me the day I did come. You didn't answer my letters and you walked away from me when I walked into your house," Sierra made to turn away but he caught her wrist. "What do you want me to do, Grayson? I didn't break up with you and you sure as hell haven't ended it between us. I'd like some answers."

Sierra stared at him, her eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears. Immediately, Sirius's expression softened. He released her wrist, only to gently wrap his arms around her waist and pull her close. Sierra let him, her mind in a daze.

She had always known that her beauty was an asset. It had always been the one thing boys had found incredibly attractive, and they had always made that perfectly clear. Sirius had always been the same; of course, he had been affectionate with her otherwise, but he had never stopped telling her she was beautiful. Now, when she looked like a skeleton, he still wanted to touch her. She could feel his hands run through her hair, which had thankfully kept its original texture. Nevertheless, the whole situation was ridiculous.

"I'm confused," she said finally. Sirius looked at her warily. She stared back. "I'm hideous."

Sirius blinked. "What?"

"I'm hideous," she repeated. His face remained blank. "Honestly, Sirius, it's not that difficult to understand. All those potions and strengthening serums messed with my body. I know you can tell."

"I know," he spoke slowly. "So?"

Sierra blinked. "You're actually asking me that?"

"I'm actually giving you the chance to completely change your argument," his tone was expressionless. "I get that you think I'm a prat and all that, but do you honestly think I chased you for months because you were pretty?" his eyes flashed. "Don't get me wrong, Sierra, you're beautiful and all but I've never been one to run after a pretty girl. I've never had to."

"Then why did you-"

"I didn't try to get you to go out with me just because you were pretty," Sirius groaned and rested his forehead against hers. "You thought I'd break up with you just because you need crutches to walk?"

Sierra bristled. "Well, that's not all I thought."

"It bloody well sounds like that's all you thought."

"What if it was?" she challenged. Their faces were incredibly close now and Sierra saw his eyes flicker to her lips before looking defiantly into hers.

She didn't expect him to kiss her. She hadn't even expected him to talk to her. She had known he would break up with her after he saw her, probably at the Potters' Christmas party. She had tried to make it easier and hadn't answered his letters. When he had shown up at her house a few hours ago, she hadn't been ready. She had wanted to be prepared for the hurt and anger she would feel when things ended between them.

What she wasn't prepared for was the feeling of contentment that settled into her stomach as soon as his lips touched hers.