Interview With A Whampire
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Writing about new Ben 10 characters I know nothing about outside of their names only reinforces the fact that I'm doing it for the obvious attention I assume it will bring me.

I don't own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim. Writing about cool new characters only works when the story provides some sort of entertainment value to the potential audience.

Doctor Animo was sitting at home watching television like he always did instead of working tirelessly on his evil inventions when Ben appeared, using Whampire during a news broadcast. He was beating up nameless villains. Whampire? Wait, so this is Omniverse. Okay, but Animo doesn't have any apartment in the Omniverse continuity. He hasn't had one since his OS first appearance. Where it was clearly established and heavily hinted that he's not too fond of playing by the rules of civilized society any longer. That involves paying for rental properties. His home away from home as of now is a cozy jail cell in Plumber HQ.

That aside...Let us now imagine how freaky-awesome Whampire would have been in the OS and integrate it into this story which is set in the OS universe.

"Ah, that must be one of Tennyson's new alien forms," said Doctor Animo with a deep amount of interest. The author projected their own knowledge of the character accidentally onto Animo, who would not have known the alien's name if he'd never encountered Ben using it in the wild against him. He somehow knew instantly that it was called Whampire. Thinking complex thoughts is almost hard as writing with any originality. "Ah, Whampire. Must be some kind of vampire alien, hence the play on words. Hmm, quite interesting."

Noises came from outside. He figured it was Roger coming back to bother him.

"Go away, asshole," he yelled. "I'm not paying any rent this month." He lifted a can of soda and took a long drink. "Next month doesn't look good, either."

The noise ceased. It came back about seven minutes later. It now sounded like a scraping at the window instead of the door. Doctor Animo turned and snarled.

"This is private property, you know. I encourage you to get off of it, or face the consequences," he yelled, louder than before.

The noise stopped again.

Five minutes later, an actual knock on the door. Grumbling, Doctor Animo stood up and went to the door. He threw it open.

"What the hell do you want?" He flinched at the sight of an upside down Whampire hanging from the doorway, grinning at him.

"I vant...to suck your blood!"

Doctor Animo wasn't impressed. He slammed the door closed, causing Whampire to fall from his perch and land with a thud.

"Ow, hey. Rude! Okay, I don't want to suck blood. I want to suck your life energy. Is that any better?"

Doctor Animo scoffed. "Get lost, Tennyson. Also how did you manage to go from a LIVE television broadcast somewhere in the area of Bellwood one minute ago to my front door step of my old apartment in Washington?"

"Easy. Bellwood is full of worm holes, ha ha ha," said Whampire. "Millions of them!"

Doctor Animo opened the door and threw a half-empty soda can at his enemy.

Whampire recoiled, sticking out his hands to protect his body parts. "Ow, hey, you asshole!"

"Get out of here, you pea-brained brat! You can't attempt to fight me over anything. I haven't instigated any trouble yet."

"I don't want to fight you. I want to BITE you." Whampire hissed and bared his fangs. "Seriously, I'm hungry. I have all these freaky vampire urges now. I don't want to inflict them on my friends or family, so I figured I'd come to you. Even though I'll probably get a bunch of diseases from your nasty evil life force." Whampire shrugged. "Anyway, let me in."

"No," said Doctor Animo with a firm frown.

"Oh, come on, Doctor. Don't be a baby. It's just a little bite." Whampire hissed again and tried to walk through the doorway. He was met by an invisible force field he smacked his face into. "Ow, what the? How'd you set up a barrier in your doorway?"

"I didn't," Doctor Animo said, looking almost as surprised as Ben. Then he smiled eagerly. "It would seem that you can't enter a home unless you're given permission by the owner. That's so old school." He started laughing.

"What? No way! I'm an alien vampire. How am I bound by stupid earth based tropes from vampire lore?" Whampire groaned. He pressed his hands against the invisible barrier repelling him. "That's not fair!"

Doctor Animo continued to laugh. "This obnoxious disturbance was worth it. The look on your face is priceless, Tennyson. That's what you get for never using that dull brain of yours. Now go find a belfry to hang around in and quit bothering me." He was about to slam the door again when he noticed a sudden dark grin on Whampire's face. "What are you smiling at, you freak?"

"Ah, using your brain! Thanks for reminding me, Doc. I almost forgot about this," said Whampire. He hocked and spit a Corruptura onto Doctor Animo's forehead.

"YAH!" Doctor Animo immediately lost all control over his actions.

"Now, let me in," Whampire commanded.

Doctor Animo's lips trembled. "Come...in." He moved away from the door and gestured for Whampire to enter. Whampire strode confidently through the doorway with a wicked laugh. "Noooo! Tennyson, what have you done to me? I can't...move...on my own free will!"

"One of the perks of being an alien vampire, Doctor. We have some neat tricks," said Whampire. "New school beats old school."

Doctor Animo screamed without being able to do anything but stand in place and wait for a command. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn't free himself from Whampire's control.

"Now who's the smart one? Bwah ha ha!" Whampire waved his clawed fingers into Doctor's Animo's face. "And now, a show before dinner. Dance!"

Doctor Animo started dancing random moves against his will as Whampire suggested them. "Tennyson, I'll kill you for this!"

"Twerk it, twerk it," Whampire said before laughing. He covered his eyes. "Okay, ew, that's enough." Whampire walked over and moved some of Doctor Animo's hair away from his neck. "This is totally gross and I'm going to regret it in the morning, but I'm so hungry. I'm doing it." He hissed, baring his fangs again as Doctor Animo whimpered.

"End the story already," Doctor Animo begged.

Whampire bit down as everything faded to black.

The End