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The small huddled group sits quietly around the small flickering fire inside the hut, each lost in their own thoughts as Myoga's words come ringing back. Of all the things that could have been said to him, the knowledge that his own youkai could kill and take from him that which is his whole life, is enough to make Kouga want to empty his stomach onto the huts wooden floor.
His eyes widen in horror, "B-but . . . that's not possible," his deepest, darkest, and worst fears suddenly springing to life before him. "There . . . we . . . there is something we can do, right?" Words fail him as the monstrosity of Kouga's situation overpowers him, stealing his breath and his voice.
"Well, it's not easy, my Lord. We must consider some other factors in regards to Kagome herself," Myoga replies hesitantly, uncertainty flaring in his scent.
Sango's soft voice betrays her anxiety and distress for her friend, stroking behind Kirara's ears almost roughly, "What other factors?"
Myoga sits tall, his back erect, voice firm and strong as he speaks. "Mainly that Kagome is the Shikon priestess," he states, surprised when everyone blinks their confusion at him. The flea sighs. "Kagome was born with the scared jewel inside her body, yes?" All the faces around the fire nod their confirmation that this is so. Myoga's shoulders roll back. "Well, when I drank of Kagome earlier . . ." Kouga's heated growl causes the flea to jump and raise his hands in a placating gesture. "Only so I could ascertain the extent of her injuries and what was going on in her body, Lord Kouga," he quickly defends as the Alpha's growl slowly dissipates. Myoga breathes a sigh of relief. One of his demonic skills, after all, is his ability to read the hidden messages stored within the blood, the fount of life for all beings, tasting the very nuances of a person's soul.
"I could . . ." Myoga shakes his head, surprised that he has never been able to pinpoint before the strange taste in Kagome's blood that made her so delicious, and confounded more by what he has tasted in Kouga's blood as well. "I could taste the power of the jewel in Kagome's blood, it's charged with it," he glances up at the wolf lord under half hidden lids.
Sango gasps, "But, that's what the snake youkai said about her, isn't that right, Kouga?" She turns her gaze to him, "That she tasted like the jewel?" Remembering what Rosario had told them when the she-wolf had recounted the story of Kagome's brilliant rescue of the wolf demon.
"Yeah, and it always bothered me," Kouga growls angrily at himself, fists clenching. "I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about." He should have known the jewel would be nothing but trouble, his tail flicks angrily behind him.
Myoga lowers his head slowly in a defeated gesture. "I myself was not aware until just this moment, and yet, I should have been," sighing at how old he must be getting to have not seen it sooner.
"But, what does it mean?" Kouga barks, his patience and temper growing thinner by the moment as Kagome's soft whimpers of pain reach his sensitive ears. The buzz of her energy flickering at the back of his mind making his inner beast tense and agitated.
"It means that Kagome's body, in part, holds some of the power of the sacred jewel within her." Myoga's eyes close briefly, wondering what this can mean in the long term. "We cannot guess how much power resides within Kagome, but it is doing . . . something to her. What exactly, I do not know. I simply do not have enough information," Myoga sighs dejectedly.
Kikyo gasps as understanding begins to dawn on her as thoughts collide and form in her mind, guided by her own spiritual intuition and powers.
"What is it, sister?" Kaede asks turning to face her.
"I was . . . I was just thinking," Kikyo turns to the expectant faces, her voice soft and cool as she speaks. "When we battled the demons with the Shikon shards when Kagome first disappeared," her forehead creases as she thinks back to that day. The energy she had felt, curious and strange before the tunnel of light had opened before her reincarnation. "I sensed the presence of the jewel though we carried no shards," nearly all of the shards being held now in Naraku's grasp.
"Of course you did, Lady Kikyo," Miroku opens his eyes from his meditative state, his arms crossed comfortably in his purple kimono, having been listening intently to all that is being said around him. "We battled the demons with the shards, but they got away when we saw Kagome mysteriously disappear."
"No." Kikyo's voice is firm. "That is not the presence I sensed, monk. This was different, stronger somehow. I felt it just before the portal opened before her. The portal itself was tinged with the pink power of the jewel." She had not been able to understand what had caused the portal to open and is determined to prove that she had nothing to do with it despite what her reincarnation had thought.
Myoga nods his head thoughtfully, taking in the new information. "Lord Kouga, I must ask you something very important," the flea's mind works frantically sorting out all the different possibilities. Kouga nods for him to speak and Myoga flushes before starting. "Prior to your . . . uh . . . mating. Were any . . . well, wishes or desires expressed?" hating to embarrass the great wolf lord further, but the information it could provide is crucial.
Kouga rumbles low in his chest, fighting back the desire to smash the little flea under his giant fist for his impudence, yet knowing even his most intimate, private moments must be laid bare to save the women he loves. He has no problem recalling his and Kagome's first night together, a night he remembers most vividly; Kagome's naked, glistening body beneath him before he took her for the first time. Kouga shakes his head, dispelling the memory, best not to think about that right now. His thoughts spiral back to the conversation he and Kagome had had outside the shrines walls, when she had fought to reach through his own lingering doubts and fears. Kouga's voice is thick and heavy with emotion as he recalls the moment.
"Before . . ." a muscle flexes in his cheek, "before anything happened, we spoke. Kagome told me that she loved me. That she would willingly give up the rest of her life to be at my side for a short time then to forfeit never having loved me." Kouga's eyes burn with unshed tears as he recalls Kagome's confessions of love, the love she had offered and he had selfishly taken because he could not bare to be without her.
InuYasha swallows thickly, turning away as the wolf speaks. His warring emotions tucked securely behind a mask of calm indifference that is the farthest thing he feels.
Myoga nods thoughtfully at the demon's words. It is starting to make sense . . . almost. Surprised when the wolf lord continues to speak.
"After I . . . I asked if she was sure," Kouga's ears redden with his words, everyone looks away in embarrassment, everyone but the monk that seems most interested and intrigued by the telling. "I told her if we continued she would be mine . . . forever." He runs a clawed hand through his loose hair, fighting his mortification. Revealing his most precious, intimate moments with the love of his life is to help save her he reminds himself.
"And did . . . did Kagome respond to you?" Myoga asks hesitantly, his face a crimson.
Kouga nods, "She said she would be mine . . . forever." A single stray tear breaks free of his faltering control as he recalls Kagome's open, loving, and trusting gaze as he took her. Took her and damned her.
Myoga lets out a deep breath, sighing, as he nods to himself, "It is as I thought then."
"What is?!" Kouga barks, growling angrily. Feeling suddenly vulnerable and exposed and not liking the feeling one bit.
Myoga's gaze locks with the wolf's. "As I said, Lady Kagome's blood is charged with sacred jewel power, but so too is yours, Lord Kouga." Mumbles erupt all around him as Kouga's eyes widen, staring down the little flea.
"W-what? Me? My blood? How is that possible?" He wonders briefly if perhaps the power of the jewel shards in his legs is starting to have an effect on him he isn't aware of.
Myoga nods firmly. "When I first tasted your blood, I didn't know what the peculiar energy was that I tasted, though it seemed familiar to me," he replies, "until I then drank of Kagome." He glances around him at all the worried faces, his eyes lingering longer on the undead priestess. "I believe the power of the jewel that is inherent in Kagome's body responds to her whether she is aware of it or not," he states confidently.
Kikyo's eyes widen in understanding, her jaw gaping open. "The portal!" She speaks in a gasping breath, "It was her!"
"Yes," Myoga states, pleased that the priestess has been able to pick up and follow his line of reasoning. "Kagome herself called the portal to her," he confirms.
"What are you talking about, Myoga?!" InuYasha barks angrily, his shoulder jostling as the hanyou glares at the tiny demon.
"How is that possible?" Sango cries, leaning forward. Why would Kagome have caused herself intentional harm? Surely not?!
Kouga has no words, his mind racing with the possibilities and meaning of all that is being said around him. He's frustrated that he doesn't understand more about the unique gifts bestowed on his mate. Berating himself that he should have taken more care with her. How foolish, prideful, and arrogant he's been to assume that everything would just . . . work out!
"Kagome must have desired something," Myoga's words break the wolf from his trance, "something so desperately, so strongly, that the innate power inside her felt the desire and did what it had to do to fulfill it. Though what wish of her heart Kagome must have made we cannot know." The little flea is impressed with the extent of the power that thrums through the delicate little mortal, going beyond anything all the centuries of reading could have prepared the old youkai for.
"You mean . . ." Kouga swallows the dryness in his throat as he thinks back to the day when he had scented her on the wind moments before she slipped under the freezing waters of the river. "She wished herself there? In the frozen tundra?" Why would Kagome do such a thing? Does his little miko secretly have a death wish?
"Well," Myoga gestures an arm thoughtfully, "it may not be that Kagome wished to be in the frozen lands of the north exactly . . ." InuYasha had filled him in on the events of the last couple of weeks as they journeyed from Tottosai's den where the hanyou had gone to retrieve him, knowing that he enjoyed his time studying with the ancient sword smith. "But whatever Kagome's desire was, the power of the jewel must have felt it was where she must go to best accomplish it." Myoga crosses his little arms in front of himself.
Kouga's brows draw to a point as he considers the flea's words. The portal had opened to where he was nearby in the north. Is it possible? Deep down, did Kagome's heart call out for him? Did the power of the jewel bring her to him because of that desire? The thought stirs and warms Kouga's heart for the first time since disaster had struck him. If the jewel had brought Kagome to him then it can't be all bad, can it?
"And now?" Kouga asks cautiously.
"Well, now it seems the power inside Kagome and that which I tasted in you, Lord Kouga, is trying to accomplish yet another feat even though Kagome's body fights to withstand the forces raging inside her," Myoga adds sorrowfully.
"Me thinks you are speaking in impossibilities, flea demon," Kaede adds, knowing what the flea is thinking given all that has been said.
Kouga growls loudly, "What the hell are you guys talking about?!" feeling like the conversation is going nowhere fast while Kagome's life still hangs in the balance. "And most importantly, how can I help her?!" Anger flares in his deep rough voice as his teeth grind painfully together.
"Come on, flea bag, haven't you put it together yet?" InuYasha scoffs angrily, even he had figured it out. Kouga growls at him, but InuYasha ignores him. "Kagome's desire. What she said to you when you asked her." He glares at the wolf, daring him to put two and two together.
Kouga's voice hitches in his throat, "Forever?"
"Exactly," Myoga replies, his chin jutting forward.
"Uh, is it okay that I'm a little confused," Miroku asks holding up a hand, surprised when Kikyo responds.
"Kagome's desire was to stay by the wolf's side. Forever," she replies quickly.
"Indeed," Myoga interjects, "and I believe that part of the battle being fought within Kagome is the jewel's power trying to find a way to merge or connect Lady Kagome's life force with Lord Kouga's, which is why I can taste the power of the jewel in his blood as well. But Kagome's soul is at war with the very power the jewel is trying to link her with."
Miroku blinks in astonishment. "The jewel is trying to link Kagome's life force with Kouga's?" Completely stunned that such a thing could be possible. He reflects, however, on the teachings of the great holy masters that had said that all life, when broken down to its smallest components, no matter how different, was all energy. The soul existing inside the shell of a different physical form in each incarnation. Something that Lady Kikyo and Lady Kagome had both already proven.
"In essence, granting Kagome's greatest desire . . . forever." Myoga turns, nodding in the wolf's direction, "With you, Lord Kouga." The flea's voice is full of awe at the power demonstrated by the young miko. He watches as the wolf lord closes his eyes, lost in his warring emotions. "It is impossible to know for certain what might occur if your life forces were to successfully merge. This is all speculation and far outside our historical precedent, but theoretically, it is possible. They are after all, the miko and the youkai, two sides of a very similar coin."
Myoga sighs heavily with his thoughts. "The heart of the matter I'm afraid, is that whatever the outcome, Kagome's mortal body will continue to deteriorate under the power of the energies battling inside her. If she continues to resist, Lord Kouga's youkai will surely succeed in killing her in her weakened state unless Kagome can receive some kind of help before the rites are completed."
"What can we do?" Kouga rumbles, determination flooding his voice. "There must be something."
That Kagome is strong enough to endure the few days that are left of the mating rites is simply not a question for him. Kagome is too stubborn and strong willed to give up so easily, he has to believe that. But, will that same stubbornness and strength of spirit, will his little spit fire of a miko willingly submit to the powers of his youkai? Kouga holds back the howl of despair that rises in his throat. He better than most knows how little Kagome submits to anyone, even him. Fear and dread coil in his stomach at the thought.
Myoga rubs at his jaw, not sure if he should offer false hope if there is none to be had, but the legend of Hikari's love and the spell she had cast, if true, could quite possibly be the only solution left for both Kouga and Kagome.
"Indeed, Lord Kouga, there may be a way, but it is fraught with peril, and you will have only until the last night of the mating rites before your youkai claims your mate's life." Myoga's hard gaze bores into the wolf's, making sure he understands him. He's always loved Kagome and wants to believe that the wolf lord can succeed.
Kouga moves to stand, his tail snapping powerfully behind him. His tan muscular chest juts out, his broad shoulders and veined forearms flexing with power as his claws curl at his sides.
"Tell me, flea," Kouga's gaze bores back heatedly into the tiny demons, "What must I do?"
Myoga knows there's no stopping the wolf regardless of how many evils he may have to face. "'Love begets sacrifice,'" he begins cautiously as he looks up at the tall imposing form of the wolf lord. "This has always been known and was understood most painfully by Hikari, the first priestess that unknowingly purified her demon lover. Legend says that before she took her own life, she spoke with a fellow priestess and infused her tears with the last of her power. The miko's power that still carried small traces of her demon lover's youkai within her, the part of him that her gifts had been unable to purify because of her love."
Myoga holds the unflinching gaze of the wolf lord, "Priestess Hikari's tears is said to have been gathered together in what became a sacred pool, deep in the western mountains where she is rumored to have taken her own life. Legend writes that if you pay loves sacrifice, her tears will grant the power of eternal love."
Kouga's eyes widen, flaring with hope. "Would that . . . does that mean Kagome will stop fighting my youkai? That . . . that we can be together?"
Myoga nods thoughtfully, "I can only speculate what it might ultimately do, but we can be certain that priestess Hikari herself understood the pain of losing her demonic lover and wished to spare others her pain if possible."
Kouga straightens, determined and more than ready. "Where? Where must I go?" He barks, hope flooding into his chest, raising the hairs and fur all over his body.
Myoga nods his head, knowing there is no stopping the determined Alpha. "You must travel far to the west, through the Stags forest. From there you will travel south past the Yangtze's wastelands and deep into the mouth of the Forgotten Mountains where her demon lover is rumored to have once dwelt. But be warned, Lord Kouga, not only will your journey be fraught with peril, but you will need to pass a test, a trial perhaps. What is known is that you will be required to pay loves sacrifice before you will be permitted to remove the healing waters," Myoga cautions.
Kouga is not deterred in the slightest. "What kind of test? What payment?" But it doesn't matter. He will pay any price, give any sacrifice, even his own life if need be. Finally! Finally here is something he can do to help save the woman he loves. The women he had put in danger just because she had dared to love him back.
Myoga hangs his head, worry creeping into his voice. "This I do not know, my Lord, for no records exist of any that have ever survived it."