I'm becoming more addicted to the Chris/Adam pairing. I didn't think I would though. :) They were just a mention but they're really rubbing off on me. And I hope Adam's okay, too and I'm the one writing. Let's hope I didn't kill him.

34 – Illusions of a Perfect Date Part 2

By the time the food's come around, both Jeff and Matt are trying to enjoy the silence as they eat and in the middle of that, Matt takes a bit of jam from a tiny bread and he puts the it on Jeff's nose and he waits for Jeff to do something but the sadness doesn't plaster from his face and Matt leans down to lick the jam off, Jeff pushes him off, taking a tissue and wiping it off.

"Jeff? Who's being a sour puss?" he asks him, playfully, trying to lighten Jeff's dark mood but it doesn't work. "Jeff?"

"I just need to go wash my face," Jeff stands up and walks towards the bathroom and slams the door shut behind him, washing his face, feeling the coldness of the water get absorbed by his skin and he's just so dizzy and he feels so horrible and so very sick and just about he's going to walk from the door, Jeff takes the phone and presses it against his ear, "Chris?"

"Jeff? Where are you? I can barely get a line from you," Chris's voice is still shaky and broken, "—are you okay?"

Jeff feels guilt ridden as he nods his head and then he realizes that Chris can't see him, "I'm fine but how's Adam? Is he doing well?"

"I don't know. They won't let me in. They won't even let his parents in. It's horrible. He was bleeding…like hell—when I saw him get stretched towards the ER, damn. That sight is scaring the hell out of me." And before Jeff can say anything else… "I'm so scared. I don't think that Adam's gonna make it. And if he does, I still feel like it's my fault. I should've said no when he asked to go out for a drive. I…I'm sorry for ruining your date, Jeff. It's just that I need to get a hold of someone and Randy and John are on their way but still…in some way, I can't talk to them like I can talk to you."

Jeff hears the dial tone once and when he looks up with a blazing face, he sees the image of Matt by the doorway with slightly wide eyes as Jeff tries to explain that Adam needs him around and Matt nods his head once more as they both discard from the restaurant. Jeff can't help but feel like he messed up everything. Matt's trying so hard to make this date almost perfect but Jeff's ruining it and during the drive, Jeff can't help but feel like as hard as Matt could've tried, a perfect date's just an illusion.

Even standing by the doorway, it's around ten at night and Matt watches as Jeff looks around with those eager eyes, trying to digest the hospital scene in front of him as his stomach flips and Matt knows that Jeff knows that he's angry because after all that Matt's done, Jeff's still managed to find a way to mess up their supposed to be perfect date and now as they walk towards the waiting room, finding Chris standing there by the operating room, with eyes staring at the door blankly and when Chris sees Jeff, he hugs him as hard as ever, "glad you can make it."

Matt's still filled with rage even if he feels slightly sorrowful on Chris's behalf but there's anything thing bubbling in Matt's veins. Envy. He's envious of Jeff because Jeff has friends while Matt is a complete loner and that makes him feel sad that he can't hug and comfort his friends—hell, Jeff is his only friend and he doesn't want to share Jeff at all and as Chris kisses Jeff's forehead, he rubs onto Jeff's back. "I'll call you when Adam's done with…" Chris's eyes flash to the word OPERATION on the door and it's hurting him. "He's only fifteen…it's scaring me…"

Jeff wraps an arm around Chris's neck and presses his head in Chris's chest and Chris finally sobs, gripping onto Jeff's body, "all my fault…all my fault…" he whispers, with that cracked voice. "All my fault, Jeffy…"

Matt turns away and clicks on his heel, walking around the hospital, walking outside, trying to understand this simple term called friendship. He's had a friend before. Ted. But they weren't even that close and that hurts Matt knowing that he can't even have a friend to have a boyfriend, maybe he's doing something wrong, maybe that's why their relationship is so off, maybe it's Matt's fault and not Jeff's and he stops outside at the bench, seeing John Cena and Randy Orton making out and he shakes his head. Why can't it be that simple? Why can't he have the same passion for Jeff as everyone else has? Is there something wrong with him?

Something so very wrong with him…?

Matt walks back towards the hospital to see that Chris had sat down on the chair and is asleep but there are tear tracks staining his face and Jeff's on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and Matt sits down next to Jeff, staring at Jeff as he strokes Chris's arm and Matt suddenly wonders, does Jeff want a real relationship? With a man that he can marry and claim as his own? It's hurting Matt to know that Jeff might want to marry him someday and start a family and Matt won't be able to do that since they're blood related and no one's going to know that they're together this way. They're sacrificing too much because of all of this.

Jeff cuddles close to Matt's body, both of their bodies pressing against each other and the misery resides as a doctor comes out of the operating room which snaps them all into trance. Adam's parents talk with the doctor and Chris is sweating so rapidly that he can't really breathe and when they go inside, Chris stands up and follows them, followed shortly by Jeff and Matt. They don't know how long it takes for Randy and John to walk inside as well but they have.

There, in his cot, Adam lays, his body wrapped with the white covers and his flesh has rotted with dry blood, his entire arms and shoulders and his mouth has blood running from his pink mouth and his eyes are barely open, those half slits of pure blue peering from those eyes and Chris walks towards him, leaning down to sit on a plastic white chair and Adam stares at him, watching as Chris crumples and lets the tears fall as hard as ever. Adam lets his hand go to Chris's face and wipe the tears away, "Chris…don't cry."

"All my fault, Adam," Chris shakes his head, letting the tears spill harder, "all my damn fault…"

Matt turns to Jeff, "let's go, Jeff." There's an edge of coldness in his voice and Jeff nods his head as he walks away. He knows that if he's going to stay here, he's going to feel sick and he waves goodbye before he walks away, just happy that Adam's fine and the car ride's too silent and when they're home, both of them are walk towards the couch, ready to decide what's going to happen in those few days before Matt has to go to Canada.

Don't break me, Matt. Please, don't break me.

So Adam's okay.

X Sam.