Authors Note: I'm going to put a special thanks to Divinia Serit in this chapter. I was reading the most recent update of 'And the Mighty Will Fall' when I was hit with portions of this conversation, so thanks for that, even though you really didn't do much more than do a fabulous job writing. And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I know it was a little slow, but, this should be better. Oh, and thanks a bunch to Eve215 who keeps on me to update, without her, we'd still be back to the last update I did in August.

Disclaimer: If they were mine, we wouldn't have to wait till next week to see the new ep. I so want to see Lisbon lose control like that. I can't wait.

What If? Chapter 36: It will get better

Lisbon got to the dressing room that the instructor had told her was used by the girls in Abby's troupe and knocked softly. Not hearing a response she cracked the door open slightly and the sight she saw nearly broke her heart. There curled up in a ball in the corner was Abby sobbing slightly.

"Abby? Can I come in?" Lisbon asked quietly from the door.

"Um…" Abby paused, wiping her eyes and sitting up a little straighter. "Sure, I'm just getting the last of my things together."

"Take your time, I don't think your dad's in a hurry." Lisbon walked towards her and settled onto the floor next to Abby.

"I just, I just need a minute." The sobbing had slowed since Lisbon had come in and now Abby was just sitting on the ground close to Lisbon. She was obviously hurting and Lisbon decided to take a stab at what she thought the problem was.

"That was a great dance. You're mom would have loved it."

"Yeah, right." Abby wiped her nose on her sleeve and looked up at Lisbon, "I bet I know what you're thinking right now." He voice was almost bitter.

"I bet you're wrong." Lisbon smiled at her slightly before continuing. "I'm thinking that in the beginning everyone was telling you how sorry they were for you that your mom was dead, how sad they were, telling you they knew what you were going through, how you were feeling. And then, people started to forget, your friends started to act like nothing had ever happened, they would talk about their moms as if they were something to be loathed and they didn't understand when you got upset. And if someone did manage to remember that you no longer had a mom then it would get uncomfortable, and they wouldn't know how to act. I bet that eventually it just because easier to pretend that they weren't there at all, that it was easier to just throw yourself into your dancing and your school work and pretend that nothing had ever changed, but it did and you just didn't know what to do, and eventually, it led to this, me finding you sobbing on the floor of the dressing room after one of the most emotional performances I've ever seen."

Abby looked at her through wet eyes. "How do you know?"

"When I was your age my mom," Lisbon paused for a minute to get her emotions under control. "My mom was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. I went through school getting looks of pity. My friends couldn't understand what I was going through. All their thoughtless comments and platitudes were actually more hurtful than if they hadn't said anything at all."

"Sometimes, I think the teachers are even worse. They treat me different than they did before; they take it easier on me. I don't ask them to. That makes some of the kids upset. I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Someday, you'll wake up and it'll be just a little bit lighter. It might take a while, but day by day it'll get better until one you wake up and it's not the first thing you think about, and you'll find that it doesn't bother you nearly as much as you'd think it would."

"Really? How long did it take for you?" Abby was truly curious, no one else-not even her therapist-had been able to share something like this with her.

"I don't really know. It's something that happens gradually. But it does happen." She pulled Abby to her and gave her a comforting hug. "And until it does, anytime you need something or someone, call me. Anytime, just give me a call and I'll be there for you."

They sat there for a few more minutes just thinking, both lost in their own worlds of grief and missing loved ones. Jane was sitting outside on a bench when they came out, Abby liked to pretend that her dad couldn't tell that she had been crying, but she knew he could tell.

Jane lifted his head when he saw them coming, opening his mouth to ask Abby what was wrong, but a shake of her head made him change his mind. "Abby, you did such a good job tonight, how about some dinner?"

"Can Teresa come?" Abby asked turning to look at Lisbon and direct the question to her too.

"I-"Lisbon was cut off by her phone ringing. "Let me just take this, give me a minute"

Jane tried, though not very hard, to put distance between him and Lisbon so that she could have some semblance of privacy.

"Brian, hey…No, yeah, I'm still at work…What do you mean why didn't I answer my office phone…I'm not in my office…There are other places at the CBI that I could be…" Her voice was rising, and she looked over her shoulder to see Abby and Jane very obviously not looking in her direction. She lowered her voice before talking again. "We'll talk about this when I get home."

She stood there for a minute, calming her emotions before turning to face Jane. "So where are we going for dinner?"

"Asian, that new sushi place." This was Abby's suggestion. They parted at Lisbon's car that was parked closer to the building that Jane's.

"Are you ok?" Jane asked quietly, resting a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you at dinner."

Jane got in his car and watched her drive away. She wasn't ok, he knew it, he just didn't know what to do about it.