Blabla same old same old. no interesting A/N. ENJOY!
"Why does Tex get to field test the giant scary alien gun?" York whispered to Colorado as the pelican left the Mother of Invention.
"Because the scary lady wanted it. And I wasn't in the mood for her to try to kill me. Just be glad she didn't take the one you're testing too." Colorado hissed back.
"You're sure this thing is a shotgun? And a good one?" York asked about the gun on his back.
"It's a tens of thousands year old alien gun. Just be glad I even know what it is."
"So why the hell are we testing these fancy alien guns but you aren't testing the fancy alien armor?" Tex asked from across the pelican.
"Because I don't want to take untested armor in the field till I know exactly what it can and can't do. When we got the MJOLNIR armor it had already been tested. And I haven't found a way to make Scythe and the armor compatible with one another yet, and I don't want to upset him since he's been moody since that last mission. If worse comes to worst then he can work through the watch Nev built, but I'm pretty sure he would be a bit upset about that. Which is why I'm glad he's offline at the moment." Colorado explained.
"Moody as in the outbursts of anger that keep breaking things and the depressed cynicism? Since those are signs of rampancy according to the files The Director made me read." York wondered.
"He's not going rampant. Just a little stressed."
"Sounds to me like you're in stage one of the Kubler-Ross model." Nev muttered. Colorado was about to respond when another voice interrupted.
"This is where you get off ladies and girls!" 479er called. They jumped out the back hatch and splashed into the swampy water below.
"Well this is going to be a shitty trip. Cleaning this gunk off my boots is going to take forever." York complained. Tex cackled as she shoved York over and down into the swamp water.
"Cosmic bitch slap exhibit A. Twenty bucks we get to at least exhibit G before this mission is over." Nev pulled him out of the muck.
"Not taking that bet. The trees here look sturdy. I'm going to climb up and scout ahead." Colorado said before scaling up into a tree.
"I'll take that bet." York said as they started traversing the swamp.
"You're being an idiot York. He's very good at accurately anticipating cosmic interference." Colorado's voice crackled from the radio.
The trip to the Insurrectionist facility was riddled with misfortune. Twice they wound up walking in circles, four times Colorado fell off of branches that had rotted from inside.
"York. If something goes wrong again, I'm going to hit you. Very, very hard." Colorado seethed as he climbed back into a tree just outside of the facility.
"Two sentries outside the front door. That's it. Sixteen stories. One way mirror windows so I can't see inside. Should I shoot the sentries?"
"Go ahead." Tex answered. He smirked behind his visor and scoped in on the first of the two sentries. He squeezed the trigger and quickly moved the scope to the second target and fired again. He gasped as he watched his target turn orange and disintegrate.
"Holy crap!" He gasped as he fell out of the tree again. He pulled himself up and sent the recording to everyone else.
"Guns that disintegrate... You aren't getting mine back." Tex stated with a little too much enjoyment.
"I told you not to give her the big one!" York hissed when she walked through the front doors.
"Then she would've taken it and shot me and I would be a disintegrated Spartan!"
"Stop bickering we have work to do." Nev growled before shoving them into the building after Tex. The black armored freelancer was flying around the room beating the guards inside to a pulp; the ones still alive screaming and running away.
"Alarms been triggered. I'm going to take the stairs, York and Colorado take the elevator. Nev, guard the lobby. Don't let anyone leave." Tex ordered. As York and Colorado walked onto the elevator Nev called out to them, "Exhibit H. Be sure to have my money when we get back aboard the ship." The door slid shut before York could rebuttal.
The door slid open to screams of pain and terror, as well as orange balls of light flying through the air.
"I'm going to need new armor interior." York whimpered after hearing the cackling of Tex.
"They bounce! They bounce and explode and the explosions bounce too!" she screamed.
"Nev… bring the big needle with the medicine to fix the crazy lady." Colorado called over the radio before walking out of the elevator to see Tex holding her Incinerator cannon to the last living soldiers head.
"Where. Is. Your. Leader." She growled.
"I don't know I don't know please don't kill me!" The man screamed.
"Well if you don't know then there's no use letting you suck up air."
"Tex, why don't you try another solution. Try this pistol, disintegration power in localized areas." Colorado handed his boltshot to her, and he could tell she was smiling under her visor.
"I wonder what will hurt more; the physical pain of having your junk disintegrated by a gunshot or the emotional trauma of losing such a cherished appendage."
"Be sure to hold down the trigger to charge it. Power of a mini shotgun." Colorado added.
"Just a note Colorado, even when they're bad guys the family jewels are off limits. And you are helping her threaten family jewels." York whispered.
"He went to the roof! He keeps a stolen Prowler up there to escape!" The man squealed.
"Son of a bitch!" Tex growled. She leveled the gun to the man's head and pulled the trigger. Colorado grabbed the pistol from the air as she tossed it and followed as she ran up to the roof. They burst through the door to the roof, Nev catching up from running up the stairs, only in time to see the Prowler flying away.
"Son of a bitch!" Tex yelled.
"Mother of Invention this is Agent Texas. Target is fleeing in a stolen Prowler."
"Forget the mission, agent. We have an even more important task to complete immediately. Your transport will be there shortly." The Director's voice cut through the radio waves.
"Hey York?"
"Yeah?"
"Exhibits I and J."
"…I fucking hate you Nev…"