Flashback- Chapter 37
His body felt like it was on fire as he slowly returned to consciousness. There seemed to be a crushing weight on his chest, making each breath he took an agonizingly painful experience. Grissom cracked his eyes open to see Sara standing over him, giving him a gentle smile.
"Gil, take slow easy breaths, okay?" she whispered softly. "I know it hurts. Dr. Longman said that when you woke, you'd be in a lot of pain."
"A lot of pain…understatement," rasped Grissom.
Grissom's pain-filled eyes told Sara all she needed to know. She reached across his body and slipped the morphine pump into his hand. The injured entomologist looked down at the pump and then back up at Sara.
She explained, "It's morphine pump for when the pain gets to be too much. I think that you should go ahead and press the pump."
Grissom nodded his head to let her know that he understood but did not release any of the precious pain-killer into his system.
"Griss?" she queried when she noticed that he wasn't pressing the pump.
Grissom gave her a slight shake of his head. "Don't want to sleep. Morphine will just put me out…just tell me, Sara. Nick? Petersen?"
Sara softly caressed the side of his face and replied, "Everyone is okay, I promise. Petersen is upstairs being taken care of. Nick is fine…just a little bruised and battered, that's all. Everyone's just worried about you."
Grissom slowly nodded his head, and his eyes drifted shut. Sara gently took the pump out of her lover's hand and pressed the pump, allowing morphine to drip into Grissom's IV line.
"Sara," rasped Grissom in protest, opening his eyes.
"Gil, you need this. Your recovery will be quicker and smoother if you can ease the pain. No arguments. Besides, I'm giving you just a little, not the whole dose- just enough to take the edge off, okay?"
As the pain lines about his face relaxed, Grissom sank back against the pillows. His breathing became a little easier and the intense pressure on his chest lessened.
"Well, well, well, it looks as though you finally decided to join the land of the living. How are you feeling?" came the familiar voice of Jim Brass.
Sara turned around and gave the police captain a smile. "Better now that he's had a little medication for the pain."
The police captain approached the hospital bed and gave his friend a wide grin. Grissom gave Brass a small smile and slight nod of his head in return.
"Like I was hit by a Mack truck…how about you?"
Pulling up a chair opposite of Sara, Brass sat down and leaned against the bed. "Doing okay…just a few bumps and bruises."
Grissom studied his friend for a moment as the memory of Brass in full battle-gear flashed before him. He furled his brow and cocked an eyebrow at his friend.
"I'm not sure my memory is serving me right…but did I…did I see you in battle fatigues?" asked Grissom.
"Yeah, well, that's sort of a long story," Brass said with a grin.
"It's…it's not like I'm going anywhere," said Grissom drily.
"Yes, but you do need to rest, Griss. You just woke up. It'll keep," said Sara softly. "Nothing is going to happen or change."
Brass gave Sara a grin and then turned back to his friend. "She's the boss, Gil. I don't think I want to cross her."
Grissom sighed and decided to try another tack. "How about Petersen? What happened with him?"
The police captain laid a hand on Grissom's shoulder. "He's upstairs in good hands."
"In lock-down? In the psych ward?" asked Grissom in a somewhat anxious voice.
Brass hesitated, unsure of Grissom's anxiousness. "Ummm, no he's not in lock down. He's in a regular room recovering, but I have a guard on him 24/7. You needn't worry."
"Not worried," said Grissom tightly. Though the morphine had taken the edge off, the injured entomologist could feel the pain ebb and flow through him.
"Griss?" asked Sara softly, worry clearly creeping into her voice.
He gave her a half smile and whispered, "I'm okay…I just…I just need to ride it out."
Sara pursed her lips, clearly unhappy with Grissom's resistance to taking anymore of the morphine.
Grissom closed his eyes for a moment and then continued with his train of thought. "I just wanted to know how he was being treated…just how things were being handled. That's all."
"I've got security on him. There's no way he's a danger to anyone at the present moment," said Brass, trying to put his friend at ease.
Grissom opened his eyes and looked straight at the police captain. "I don't believe that…that he's a danger to anyone. I'm…I'm not worried about that," he said softly.
"Then what is it then?" asked Sara curiously.
Shifting his gaze to Sara, Grissom replied, "Except for our bad guys, who did he really harm? He could have easily killed any number of people while he was sniping in Red Rocks, but he didn't."
"What's your point, Gil?" asked Brass.
Grissom shrugged and then winced from the pain that movement had caused. "Just want to make sure that he's treated fairly, I guess. Are charges being pressed?"
It was Brass's turn to shrug his shoulders. "Everything is still under investigation. The DA's not sure what he wants to do."
Grissom settled back against the pillows. Sara reached over and took Grissom's hand into hers.
"Grissom, it's out of our hands for right now. You just need to get better. Petersen's shrink from the navy is working with him. He's getting the help he needs."
Grissom remained silent, thinking. Brass regarded him with a wary eye. "I've seen that look before. What are you thinking?"
"Have you visited with him much, Jim?"
"A little…I've been where he is. I know what it's like…the guilt, the wishing that things could have turned out differently."
Grissom nodded slowly with understanding. "How'd you get through it? The flashbacks…were they ever as severe as Petersen's?"
The police captain cocked his head and thought for a moment.
"Back then, those of us coming back from 'Nam…" Brass shook his head, remembering his return to stateside. "We didn't have the support or the help to get through the trauma. The flashbacks came, but it was mainly at night. I'd wake up in a cold sweat…sometimes screaming."
Grissom nodded, urging his friend to continue. A faraway look entered Brass's eyes as his memories washed over him. Both Sara and Grissom waited patiently as he gathered his thoughts. The veteran detective stared off into space and then shook himself back to the present. Looking at his two friends, the detective gave them each a half-smile.
"Sorry about that…I guess I wandered a bit there. I was just thinking about when I got back home to New Jersey. I thought that maybe if I joined the police force, things might be different. Being a police officer would give me a purpose, y'know? –a justification for me surviving when most of my buddies hadn't."
Brass shook his head at his own foolishness.
It's funny, though," said Brass as he reminisced, "Those flashbacks lessened and eventually disappeared after Ellie was born. I guess being a father was the purpose I needed. She was able to fill that void, at least for a while until…well, you know the rest."
Both Sara and Grissom nodded to let Brass know that they understood.
"I understand Petersen," continued the police captain, "I was able to get through it, but it was a long haul. What the sergeant went through will always be with him. He'll have to find his own way."
Sara locked eyes with Grissom, both of them thinking the same thing.
"So I can't think of a better person who could help him find his way," Sara said gently with a gleam in her eyes.
The police captain cocked his head and gave her a slight smile. Standing up, he laid a hand lightly on Grissom's shoulder.
"It will depend on how the DA's office wants to pursue the matter. Until the investigation is complete, Petersen will stay here at the hospital. Bower and I stepped in to keep him out of county lock-up. He doesn't need to be in with that kind of riffraff with all that he's been through."
Wincing from the pain that had started radiating through his temple, Grissom settled back deeper into his pillow. The injured man shut his eyes and asked, "I take it that you're heading up the investigation."
"The sheriff was adamant that I stay on," confirmed Brass. "It's the media that both Ecklie and Burdick are most concerned about."
Sara said with a smirk on her face, "Some things never change. So Jim, what's next on the agenda then?"
"Well, I came by to check on my friend here." With a shrug of his shoulders, Brass gave both Grissom and Sara a wide grin and said, "…and it looks as though you're in pretty good hands." Pausing a beat, he continued, "Catherine, Greg, and Warrick are out at the scene gathering evidence."
Grissom gave Sara a questioning look and asked, "You didn't mention Nick…what about Nick? Sara…Sara you said that everyone was okay."
"Gil, relax, okay? Nick's going to be fine," Sara said in a soothing tone.
Relaxing a little, Grissom asked, "So what happened then? How serious was he hurt?"
"Not so serious that I needed a hospital stay," came the familiar Texas drawl. Nick sauntered slowly into the room with a wide grin on his face.
Relief flooded through Grissom as he eyed his young protégé. Sitting up a little straighter, the injured supervisor, gave the Texan a quick look -over.
"Hey, boss," Nick said with a wide smile. "Good to see that you're finally awake. How are you feelin'?"
Grissom shook his head ever so slightly, he said softly, "The pain comes and goes."
Nick nodded his head and turned to Sara. "Sara, I know you haven't left this room since Griss was admitted. Now that the boss man is awake, how about you get somethin' to eat or at least get some fresh air?"
Sara started to protest, but Grissom held up his hand, stopping her. "Honey," he rasped, "Go…Jim, take her for something to eat."
He looked up at Sara and continued, "Nick's here. He can fill me in on what happened. You need something to eat and then I want you to go home and get some rest."
Brass stepped over to the slender brunette and gently took her by the arm. "C'mon, the man has spoken. I don't see that you have a choice," the police captain said gently as he led her towards the door.
Giving Brass token resistance to his leading, Sara turned her head as they headed out the door and said to Nick, "Nick, don't stay too long. Make sure Grissom takes his pain meds."
Nick gave her a quick nod and a wave. "You betcha…no worries, Sara."
Grissom gave the departing two a small wave as they disappeared from his sight. Both men grinned widely as they could hear Sara's protests all the way down the hall. Nick turned his attention to his boss and scrutinized the tubes and bandages covering Grissom.
Pulling up a chair and settling himself in, Nick asked Grissom, "So how are you really feeling?"
Suddenly feeling weary, Grissom closed his eyes and replied, "I'm doing okay. "
"Yeah right," the Texan said in an unbelieving tone. "Like hell you are…Grissom. I think I'd much rather face your wrath right now than Sara's," he said as he picked up the morphine pump that had slipped from Grissom's hand and quickly pressed the pump.
Grissom cracked open his eyes and looked at Nick with resignation as he felt the pain medication course through him.
"Y'know," the injured man said as he words started to slur, "th…this is getting…getting real old- people keep …medi…medicating me."
"Well, Griss," Nick chuckled softly as his boss's eyes drifted closed and his breathing deepened, "if you weren't so damned stubborn, you wouldn't have that problem."
Nick smiled at his mentor, relief flooding through him. Grissom would be okay, of this Nick was confident. Reluctant to leave the man alone and knowing Sara wouldn't want him left alone, the Texan pulled up a chair and settled in to wait for Sara to come back.
Brass handed Sara the plastic-wrapped egg salad sandwich and soda and then unwrapped his own.
The slender brunette slowly unwrapped her sandwich and took a tentative bite. Sighing, she put the sandwich down and pushed it away.
Gesturing at the partially eaten sandwich, Brass quipped, "Y'know, it's not going the help that man of yours to recover if you get sick yourself."
Sara gave the police captain a wane smile. "Thanks Jim. I think I'm just tired. I'm not really hungry."
"You need to eat something. They have vegetable soup over there. How about I get you some?" offered Brass.
"You're determined that I eat something, aren't you?"
Brass nodded and replied, "Gil is depending on me to take care of you. You don't want him mad at me, do you?"
Sara gave Brass a side-long smirk and pulled the uneaten sandwich back towards her. "Okay, but only half. I really don't think I could eat much else."
Brass grinned and nodded his head, accepting her compromise. "Listen, just to appease Gil, how about I take you back to the townhouse and you get a couple of hours sleep? I'll drop you off and then pick you up, say in three hours. How does that sound?"
After dropping Sara off at the townhouse with the promise that she would get at least get some rest, Jim Brass headed back to the hospital. He had told Grissom the truth when he had said that the investigation was ongoing. Both Sheriff Burdick and Ecklie were intent that the situation be handled as carefully as possible as not to raise the ire of the general public. Petersen was a decorated veteran who had served with distinction, but at the same time, he needed to face the enormity of his actions.
Brass shared the same feelings as Grissom about Petersen and did not believe the man was a danger to the general public. That wasn't to say that Petersen shouldn't be held responsible for all the havoc he caused up at Red Rock Canyon.
The police captain re-entered Desert Palm Hospital and made his way up to the floor where Petersen was currently recovering.
TBC