Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, although I wish I did, but I cannot be the genius. There can only be one.
A/N: Long time, no see guys. All my fault, I admit. I'm so sorry. I had coursework and then I fell ill on the weekend and it was just a very stressful two weeks. I'm so sorry. But to atone for my mistake, I produced an 8,000-word chapter. Just for you. So please read, enjoy and REVIEW!
Letters
I'm sorry Mink and Meadow. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't save your father. Slowly, I place my shivering hand on the door. I wish I could've saved you. A couple more shots are fired, which startle me as I take a few steps back from the door. Was that Durian's family? His parents? His brother?
A hand grabbing my wrist, firmly, pulls me out of my thoughts. Haymitch grabs my hand and pulls me along with Keeth.
"Uncle. What? What's-"
"Don't say anything. Just come with me." He says seriously, as he speaks over his shoulder. His face is sober and he looks at me with hard eyes. This is his way of conveying the fact that one should not question him at the moment. We ascend a curved marble staircase and at the top there is a long hall. We walk through the double doors, into a room with a very high ceiling. Mum and Dad told me that this would be the room prepared for us. But they also told us that there is a dome of the Justice Building. Haymitch instructs us to yank the microphones pinned onto our clothes and then he leads us up some twisted staircases and narrow halls and then opens a trapdoor, which leads to the dome. The exact place my parents talked after their speech in 11. This history lives on.
The place seems neater than described. The furniture isn't broken and the books are arranged well. There are some cracks in the wall, and lighting is also an issue. Haymitch shuts the trapdoor and walks to us.
"I tried my best, Uncle. I really did. I didn't expect the people of 11 to react like that." I honestly reply. "I didn't expect them to help us so much."
"Whatever happened out there was not done by District 11." Haymitch tells us. "It was District 13."
"What?" Keeth says, reacting first. "It can't be."
"13 took over the screens and broadcast those scenes from the Games."
"But why?" I ask.
"Because of the rebellion." Haymitch says. "Because people began losing hope in you and the image of unity, so 13 had to step up and reveal whatever happened."
"And the Mayor got blamed for it." I say, regretfully.
"But, Ash. It would be better than Aquilo discovering 13's involvement." Haymitch says. I don't answer that. Haymitch is right, but I hate to admit it. I hate to justify the death of the Mayor.
As I walk up to the window, which overlooks the District square I say, "At least I found out the truth." I watch the Peacekeepers, mercilessly, drag the body of the Mayor, leaving a line of blood marking the pathway. "If only it was sooner." I admit. If only I found this clip. If only it was shown. Maybe things would've been different. Maybe, Keeth and I would've been living differently. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so lonely. Maybe lives would've been saved. I stare at the pool of crimson red, reminding me that this death is partly my fault. Just like hurting Keeth is my fault. At the thought of Keeth I turn to face Keeth.
"Keeth." I call out. Just at that moment when the trapdoor opens again and Mum and Dad walk through. But that doesn't stop me from speaking. "Keeth." I call out again. He turns to look at me. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want to talk about this, Ashlyn." Keeth says.
"I'm really sorry, Keeth. Please forgive me." I say, hoping that he believes my apology is actually genuine.
"Please leave me alone, Ashlyn." Keeth says, slightly harshly. "Just like I've been for most of my life." His taunt really does prick me. It just reminds me of my promise I made to him before the Games when I said that he would never be alone after the Games.
"Don't say that, Keeth. You're not alone." I say.
"Not that again, Ashlyn. Please don't give me false hopes."
"I'm sorry, Keeth. I really am sorry." I say. "I know I doubted you, but that was before I saw the evidence."
"That's the issue, Ashlyn. You believed me after you got the evidence. You never had any faith in me. You never trusted me." He says.
"I did. Yesterday. I agreed to give you a chance." I say.
"That's not trust, Ashlyn. But I was a fool to think that you realised that I would never betray you. I thought, yesterday, in the woods, you trusted me. But I was wrong. All you wanted was my support. That's why you decided to give me a chance. You're just selfish." He spits as he takes a step closer to me. Dad instantly rushes to my side and wraps his arms around my shoulders, protecting me as he always has. "I wouldn't have been mad at you if you realised that I, the one you love, would never betray you, even after ten years. But this really hurts, Ashlyn." Keeth stares at me, coldly, for some time and then walks past me, through the trapdoor. Dad begins to storm towards the trapdoor to follow Keeth, but I grab his arm before he can get anywhere. I shake my head slowly.
"He has no right to say those things." Dad shouts, fuming. He rarely gets angry, but whenever he does it is usually towards anyone who has hurt his daughter. Mum deals with anything to do with Rye.
"No. Dad. He's right." I admit. "I can't expect him to forgive me after whatever I've done to him." I need to give him time. "I'll talk to him later."
"It wasn't your fault, sweetheart. Aquilo purposely cut the parts of the footage during the Games so that you and Keeth stay apart. It was to break you." Haymitch says.
"And I acted just the way he wanted." I say. "It is my fault. I can't deny it." I say walking out.
The preparation for dinner has taken up a lot of my day and a lot of my time, leaving no room to think about Keeth and about his words. I'm finally ready, with a long red dress, brushing the floor. Black heels and a black hairband with a flower on top. My hair is let out but is curled in ringlets.
We assemble to go to dinner, with a certain order of entrance. Of course Keeth and I are last just after Haymitch, giving a grand and more important entry. Waiting for our cue to walk down the steps seems like it is taking longer than it should do, even though it is meant to only be fifteen seconds. As soon as I have counted 15 seconds, I urge Keeth to walk along with me. Keeth takes my hand lightly, just as courtesy as I am wearing heels and he needs to support me. I put on a bright smile as we are greeted by cheers. The rest of the dinner is a blur, with an abundance of food, which I barely eat, and many greetings from the officials. There are no Victors in 11 however, there are the mentors of the District 11 tributes that were randomly selected by Aquilo. Surprisingly, there is a quick replacement of the Mayor. I believe that the Mayor was probably going to be replaced anyway or they were expecting for this Mayor to act like the way they thought he did today. Whenever the new Mayor spoke, my mind recalled the shooting of Mink and Meadow's father. The blood. The agony. Besides, there was really nothing for my mind to concentrate on during the dinner. No one spoke. At least not many people. I remained quiet, unless any direct questions were asked and even if they were my responses would always only be one word or two words. Due to this the dinner seems excruciatingly long, but nothing eventful actually happens.
Soon enough, we're boarding the train to get to the next District. As soon as the doors of the train close, we all disperse. As I'm about to walk away my mind recollect the conversation I had with Haymitch yesterday. I remember him saying that I won't be able to stay as just friends with him 'especially after tomorrow'. He knew. Patiently, I wait for everyone to leave and then I talk to Haymitch.
"What do you want, sweetheart?" He asks.
"You knew didn't you?"
"I know a lot of things. Be specific, sweetheart." Haymitch says as he smirks.
"About the footage. You knew what was going to happen in 11."
"I got a message from 13 in District 12."
"But why didn't you tell me?" I question.
"Would you have believed me?" He asks. He's right. Of course he's right. I wouldn't have believed him. In fact, I probably would've shouted at him about that.
"No." I admit. "You're right." I say as I walk off, my mind feeling dejected and upset. I shower, just so that I can get rid of all the make-up that has been applied to me. I change into a white and pink silk top and shorts. Although, I do not prefer the silk, I wear it anyways as it's the first thing I find.
After some time, I manage to get some sleep, however it is haunted by the shooting of the Mayor, who immediately transforms into Rye, lying dead and lifeless on the ground. I wake up with a scream, only to see that it is still night, nowhere near the time for the sun to rise. Defeated, I hop out of bed and head for the last car of the train, where you are usually able to look out onto the tracks and the scenery. However, at the moment there is only darkness except for a ray of light shining into the car from the moon. I perch myself on the seats and stare out into the darkness, my mind focusing on the darkness in my life. I've lost most of my loved ones. Aiden, Amethyst, most of District 12 and now Keeth. But I guess all of this is my fault. For some is my ability to trust people and others my inability to trust. For some it is just pure bad luck or some sort of conspiracy. But whatever it is, the outcome is the same: loneliness. I need to truly accept the fact that I am all alone. Only my family left around me. The Games have snatched everything away from me. My friends, my loved ones, my support. I have barely anything. Barely anything. I sniffle and wipe away the tears rolling down my cheek.
"Tears don't suit you." I hear a voice say, who I know is Keeth. Consciously, I wipe away my tears and face him with a fake smile on my face. "Neither does this fake smile." Instantly, the smile fades away. I stare back out into the darkness. I hear shuffling and soon Keeth has perched himself next to me. "Haymitch told me to apologise."
"But you don't want to." I say. "It's alright. I understand."
"No. I do. I just don't know what happened." He says. "I just spoke those words out of anger."
"I've never seen you so angry since-" I begin.
"Since, the day after the Games, when I accused you of kissing Mason." He says, as a moment of realisation. "I guess we're both equal."
"No, Keeth. We aren't equal. What I did to you was much worse than the one occasion." I tell him.
"No, Ashlyn. I regret every word I said. I just feel so bad that-" He begins but I cut him off.
"Let's just forget all this ever happened, Keeth." I suggest.
"But-"
"Please, Keeth." I beg. "We've been torn apart for too long and I don't want to spend any more time apart."
"We've never had the chance to be together." He states.
"There was always something that was tearing us apart." I say, thinking about the Games and then Aquilo's attempt to separate us.
"Not anymore." Keeth says, taking my hand into his. "As long as we trust each other." That's the one thing I haven't shown in him. But, I won't repeat the same mistake again. And to do that I need to show faith in him. So I tell him about the deal between Aquilo and I. I tell him everything. About the conversation, the threats, the deaths and the fact that I agreed.
"It must be something big." I say. "Which is why he isn't disclosing any details."
"Or he's scared that you'll do something in order to stop his plans." Keeth says. "He wants to surprise you, so that you don't have enough time to react."
"I'm just worried about what the deal could be." I say. "What if I have to go away from my family? Or be like Finnick Odair?"
"I won't allow anyone to come near you." Keeth says, slightly overprotectively. "If they dare touch you-" He begins, showing his aggressive side, but I cut him off by resting my head on his shoulder and Keeth responds by wrapping his arm around me.
"You know?" I say.
"Hm."
"I never stopped loving you." I admit.
"I know." Keeth says. "And that was my hope that you will come back to me."
"You always had faith in me?" I ask.
"Always." Keeth says. After a long pause he continues, "I will always be by your side."
"That is if Dad lets you go out alive." I laugh.
"What do you mean?" Keeth asks, seeming very confused.
"Dad was furious after all those things you said to me." I say. "In fact he was about to follow you after you left, but I managed to stop him."
"I think I'll be able to defeat your Dad." Keeth says.
"Don't you dare." I say. "Don't you dare hurt my Dad." I warn. "Besides Dad is very strong. Don't underestimate him."
"I'd never. Besides Mr Mellark never gets angry."
"He's very calm. But he is protective about me." I say.
"You're lucky." Keeth says. "That you have such a loving family." I can sense the sadness in his voice and instantly I console him.
"You have me Keeth." I say. "And I promise that I will never leave you."
"I never doubted it." A silence falls between us as I stare out into the darkness, my head still resting on Keeth's shoulder. As his protective arms hold onto me tighter, I begin to receive the ability to sleep peacefully, something that never existed. My eyes shut and I fall into a deep slumber.
The next day I wake up to loud coughing. My eyes encounter the bright sunlight as I squint to try and get used to the change. When I begin to focus, I notice Mum. Dad and Haymitch standing in front of us. I realise that we haven't moved an inch in our slumber. I sit up straight. Keeth, who is still sleeping deeply, is woken up by me shaking his arm. His eyes open and he begins to feel uncomfortable by the stares of Mum and Haymitch and the glare from Dad.
"Morning, lovebirds." Haymitch comments, causing my cheeks to turn into a deep red. Despite my deep embarrassment, I manage an eye roll.
"Shut up, Uncle." I say.
"Morning Haymitch." Keeth greets. "Come on, Ashlyn. It's just some fun." He's right, Fun is something rare so I guess I should cherish it.
"Ashlyn. Effie's looking for you." Mum tells me.
"Good luck." Keeth says. I glare at him as I leave the car but as I leave I hear Keeth follow. He pulls me towards me and quickly stuffs a piece of paper in my hand. As quickly as he arrived, he leaves and soon Dad walks out of the car. I indicate Dad to calm down and in response he gives me a smile, one that tells me he has returned to his normal self.
After a while, Keeth and I meet in the dining car.
"Did you read what was on the piece of paper?" Keeth asks. The memory of the paper hits me.
"No. Sorry. I forgot." I say.
"It's okay. Read it now." As he says that I take the piece of paper out of the pocket and unfold it. When I open it and begin to read, I'm shocked to see lyrics. Lyrics to the music Keeth composed the other day. As I get to the chorus, I realise that Keeth has used the lyrics I gave him. Lead me out with your voice. The lyrics are beautiful. I only gave him one line and he used that to come up with an absolutely mesmerising song and meaningful lyrics.
"Keeth." I say, which comes out as a whisper.
"I thought you could sing this in the Capitol." Keeth suggests, reminding me about singing. Since my talent is singing and it cannot be presented physically, Aquilo is making me sing during the interview with Caesar.
"I love it." I tell him. "But I can't. It's a love song, Keeth. Aquilo told me to stay away from you and plus, the Capitol people will start creating rumours."
"It doesn't matter, Ashlyn." Keeth says, stepping forward, taking my hands into his. "I just wanted you to have this. This is really special to me."
"We're almost at District 10." Effie announces as she walks into the car. "Get ready."
The rest of the Victory Tour goes quite quickly, with the same schedule: wake up, get prepped, get dressed, give you speech, have dinner and then board the train to the next District. Every speech we made ended up with the crowd chanting the word 'united' and then us being pushed back into the Justice Building. District 2 was the same. Giving a speech and then hearing chants in response. They're a lot quieter in this District. I always knew 2 would be a challenge and even 1. Since their Career Districts. District 4 was supportive, just as much as the other Districts.
The District I was dreading the most was District 8 as well as 2 because I killed Paige but District 8 seemed angry at the Capitol rather than me. Keeth and I complete our speech with the word 'united' and we are about to leave the stage when two little girls walk up onto the stage with a bouquet of flowers. There was nothing shocking about the mandatory honouring of the Victors but when one girl was handing me my bouquet, she discreetly hands me an envelope and gives me a soft and sympathetic smile before walking off the stage. I try not to make my confusion noticeable as we walk back into the Justice Building. My mind doesn't seem to focus on the dinner as I just wait for the moment I can get back on the train and find out what is contained in the snow-white envelope. Once dinner is over and we have boarded the train, I make a beeline for my allotted room, change into comfortable clothes before opening the envelope. I take the contents out of the envelope and notice that there are more than one papers. I furrow my brow in confusion as I gently unfold the paper and smoothen it out before reading the cursive but slightly rushed or shabby writing.
Dear,
Ashlyn Mellark.
I know you're not expecting this letter, especially from me, but this needs to be done. I'm not usually good with talking about things. It never usually comes out right. But it's necessary to tell you all of this. For me. And Mason.
I know that Katniss doesn't want to talk to me and probably hates me more than she used to, but I have no other way of conveying my message to her. She used to be my best friend and thoughts of her make me realise that time has changed everything. We used to be each other's support, but now it's different. She doesn't want to see me. In fact, she hates me. I'm not sure whether Katniss told you about this, but she thinks that I dropped the bombs that killed her sister Prim. But I would never do that to her, Ashlyn. In fact I vowed to look after her. But, deep down, there is a bit of guilt, whenever I think of Prim, because I did design those bombs. But I never intended on them being used on Prim or anyone on the rebel side. I never did.
I always wanted to see Katniss. I always wanted to come back home to 12. In fact, there have been several occasions where all my bags are packed and I am at the train station about to board the train for 12, when something stops me from getting on the train. I freeze. I may be physically strong, but emotionally I am not. I can't take that much pressure. I always regret not being there for Katniss during the important events of her life, like her wedding or her child's birthdays. But I want to change that. Especially now, when we are all meant to be UNITED. I know that Katniss despises me and probably never wants to see my face again, but I want her to know that I miss the times we spent together in the woods when we were ourselves. I miss being hunting partners. And most of all, I miss being best friends.
This letter isn't just for Katniss. It is also for you, Ashlyn. May be I am not supposed to tell you this and maybe Mason wouldn't want me to tell you either, but I know that if I don't tell you then Mason's soul will never rest in peace. Mason never wanted to hurt you, Ashlyn. He was too good to hurt you.
When I watched him during the Games, I felt like I didn't even know my own son. He would never have done that to you, if it weren't for Aquilo. Aquilo contacted us before the Games. Aquilo instructed Mason to do everything he had done in the Games. To betray you. To hurt you. To make you lose. And in return, Aquilo would make sure Mason won. Mason was reluctant to do so and then Aquilo threatened to kill my youngest son, Liam. And Mason did what he said. But he could only go so far. Mason could never hurt anyone and I guess that is what caused him to reform, even if it meant the death of his own brother because Aquilo's threats are never empty. The second he wandered away from the plan, Peacekeepers came and took Liam. I couldn't do anything about it. My eldest son, Lewis attacked one of the Peacekeepers but he got whipped publically in return. I was torn apart that day. Torn between stopping Liam going or stopping the whipping of Lewis or beg Aquilo to spare Mason. All three of my sons were in danger and I couldn't save any of them.
I'm not blaming you for Mason's death, Ashlyn. Somewhere deep down I knew that Mason could not live with himself for whatever he had done to you and his brother and even if he did Aquilo would not let him live in peace. Although I don't want to admit it, deep down I didn't want Mason to survive the Games. I know the struggles of a Victor, watching Katniss after her Games and somewhere I knew that Aquilo would not let Mason live in peace. When, Mason sacrificed his life, I didn't shed a tear because I wasn't sad or upset. I was proud of my son, for not letting the Games change his character. Or his morals. Even though I was losing my son, I was happy that my son was not losing himself in that place.
Somewhere I knew that Mason would never be able to harm you. He never tells me anything but I always knew that deep down he really liked you. He had this childish crush on you when your two met when you were 6. I remember when he asked me when he could get married to you, when you were six. I laughed and thought that this would die down, but I guess it never did. When I was watching the Games and he talked about his mother, I knew that he felt comfortable with you. He never talks about his mother to anyone and never shows his sadness about her. Whatever he said to you in his last moments were all true, Ashlyn. All true. He really did love you. And he loved you enough to realise that you love Keeth and that's why he let you go. And I'm proud of him.
Maybe I stepped over the line a bit or crossed my limits in this letter, but in my heart there is this satisfaction or content that I have told you everything. Right now, while you're reading this, I can picture Mason looking down upon us and smiling, happy that maybe people won't misunderstand him anymore.
I never really thought there could be anyone worse than Snow. But I was wrong. Aquilo is far worse. Aquilo plays with your emotions. Breaks you emotionally. Kills you from within. He uses your weaknesses against you. And yours is your trust. Be careful, Ashlyn. Aquilo will be or already is using your trust against you. He will make your feel betrayed and he has already started. That's why he used Mason. So you feel betrayed and weak. Don't let him control you. Because the future of Panem is in your hands.
From,
Gale Hawthorne.
The tears in my eyes, flowing down, cause the paper to dampen, although when I took it out of the envelope it was already quite moist. Maybe because Gale was also probably crying when he wrote this. I hold the paper to my heart and cry, thinking about Mason having to decide between hurting me or his brother. Thinking about saving his brother's life or not. What about Liam? Was he tortured or not? Is he dead or not? Images of Lewis getting whipped brutally and publically appear in my mind. I can't believe I misunderstood Mason. He was just like me. Only trying to protect his family. Just trying to save their lives. Just like I was trying to do and still am. But Mason was better than me. At least he did not give up his morals. He was braver than all of us, to take such a step, despite knowing the consequences of his actions.
As I cry, the envelope slips out of my hand and falls onto the floor producing a loud noise. I furrow my brow in confusion due to the fact that the envelope is empty. I reach down to pick up the envelope and realise that there are additional contents in there. I open the envelope, dig my hand inside and manage to take out a tape. What will I do with this? What could be in this? I try my best to hide the fact that I cried and walk out of my room and find an Avox that could help me with this tape.
After about five minutes of looking I find one and she guides me to the TV compartment. She disappears from the TV Compartment, just after she indicates for me to wait and comes back a few minutes later handing me a remote and points towards the play button.
I watch her leave the compartment and then press the play button. I expect it to be just audio but when I watch the television turn on I realise that there's more than I expected. I am taken aback at the sight of Coin on the screen. She looks just as I remember seeing her in textbooks at school. She has the same grey hair falling as an unbroken sheet and stops at her shoulders and eyes a pale grey. She is sitting at a desk. Then Plutarch Heavensbee walks into Command of District 13. As second nature, I fidget with the charm bracelet, Meadow gave me when we were in the Games. I cannot say that I cherished this bracelet as I left the bracelet in the Capitol, but Justice managed to get it back for me. Since then I realised my irresponsibility and I have never let the bracelet out of my sight.
"Plutarch." Coin says, indicating Plutarch to sit.
"The rebels are closing in towards Snow's mansion. Anyone can see that the game is over for them at this point." Plutarch says.
"Snow has just announced that he will be allowing people to stay at his mansion." Coin states. "There are floods of people heading towards his mansion." Coin adds. "He has created a human shield outside his mansion, filled with children. Capitol children. Snow's last attempt in survival."
"That will not be a great issue. Our team of rebels can easily defeat them." Plutarch tries to convince.
"We cannot take a risk. We need to defeat the Capitol." Coin says. "This human shield can pose as a real threat for our forces. They won't be able to attack."
"We could get in a team that could evacuate all the children." Plutarch suggests.
"It will not work. The Peacekeeping force is really strong. Evacuating the children will be far more challenging than just attacking through them." Coin says. Plutarch does not reply. Coin puts the tip of her pen in her mouth and bites it gently, clearly thinking deeply. "Those bombs, designed by Soldier Hawthorne and Soldier Latier, are they ready?" Coin asks.
"I believe they are."
"Those will be used. Ask Soldier Latier to keep them ready." Coin orders.
"We need Soldier Hawthorne and Latier's permission before using the bomb as they still haven't handed the bomb over-"Plutarch tries to challenge but is cut off.
"I am the President of District 13, Plutarch. They do not need to be asked." Coin says. "Besides we don't have any connection with Soldier Hawthorne. He would not be able to be informed."
"But those bombs. They will kill the children." Plutarch says.
"Capitol children, Plutarch." Coin corrects. "There are always going to be deaths in order to establish a safer and happier world. These are just a few." Plutarch sits quietly, knowing that there would not way in which he can change her mind. Coin, clearly seeming victorious, signs the official papers authorising the dropping of the bombs. "Here." She says handing over the papers to Plutarch. "And set up a team of medics that will go to the Capitol. They will be needed after the wave of bombs." Plutarch nods and walks out of the room.
"Gale was always right." I hear a voice say behind me. Her voice full of pain and regret. She stands at the doorway, wiping the single tear on her cheek. Her eyes never leave the TV screen as she walks towards me. "He didn't kill her. He's innocent, Ashlyn. He's innocent." Mum says, her face displaying both relief and regret. "I should've just forgotten. Forgotten his link to the bombs he made but had no intention to use on Prim. I should've figured it out. Asked people. Asked Plutarch." Mum cries. "He's suffered so much because of me." That's the moment when I take out the letter from Gale. However, when I take the letter out another folded piece of paper falls onto the ground. I decide on giving the letter to Mum first.
"Mum." I say. She finally takes her eyes of the screen and looks at me. "Gale. He sent this." I say, handing the letter to Mum. Mum looks at the letter for a while before taking it. She begins reading the letter, while I bend down to pick up the other piece of paper. I begin to unfold the paper when the sound of the door of Command grabs my attention back onto the screen.
A young girl about thirteen or fourteen years of age with blond hair braided into two sections walks into the room. Her face is beaming with innocence but at the same time maturity. She walks towards the desk and Coin tells her to sit.
"Prim." Mum says, her voice filled with sadness and love. I turn to see Mum. I don't take my eyes of the screen for long as I immediately turn my head back.
"Primrose Everdeen." Coin says. "You have been chosen to be a part of the team of medics that will go to the Capitol." Prim, or Aunt Prim's, face beams at the news. I have always heard that she wanted to be healer and I guess this was a great opportunity for her. "We understand that you are young, but we have observed you in the hospital we have concluded that you are able enough to join the team."
"Thank you. Thank you for letting me go." Prim says.
"But let me warn you that that is a war zone. It is incredibly dangerous. Do you still wish to go?" Coin asks.
"I will need to ask mother." Prim tells her.
"There's no time for that, Miss Everdeen. The medics leave soon." Coin says trying her best to make sure Prim goes to the Capitol, only to wait for her death. Prim thinks for quite a while. She twiddles her thumbs constantly while pondering about her decision.
"I'll go." Prim says, confidently. "I'll do this for Katniss."
Coin. She had planned everything. You could tell. She refused asking permission from the people who made the bomb, she did not hesitate once to authorise the killing of children despite the fact that they were Capitol children and she did not allow Prim to tell her mother about being a part of the medics' team.
"Prim." Mum cries. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."
"It's not your fault Mum." I say. "She was just a victim of a huge conspiracy."
"What did she ever do, Ashlyn?" Mum asks. "She was full of innocence. Full of love."
"Since when in our world are good people treated well." I say.
"Just like Gale." Mum says showing me the letter. "His family."
"His family have suffered so much, Mum." I say. "And Gale. He-he's lost two of his sons."
"He's suffered more than me. More than us, Ashlyn." Mum states.
"And we've always misunderstood them." I say. "Mason. I-I thought he betrayed me. That he was just using me. But he was the complete opposite. He didn't want to lose himself in the Games. He loved me, Mum. He didn't want to hurt me, despite knowing he would lose his brother." I cry.
"I remember when the two of you met when you were about six years old. You two were inseparable in the one week we were in the Capitol. He was so sweet. And so polite. I should've known that he could never be like that." Mum recalls.
"I just wish I had a chance to save him." I say. Mum simply sighs in response and sits on the couch in defeat. I take the silence as an opportunity to unfold the piece of paper in my hand. The paper looks quite old but lacks any creases that appear on old papers. This seems to be preserved. When I read the first line, I don't dare to read any further. At least not by myself.
Slowly, I take a seat next to Mum.
"Mum." I whisper. She turns to look at me. "There's one more." I say, handing over the paper in my hand. She takes the paper and begins reading. I look over and read too.
Dear Katniss,
If you've received this letter, I would not be with you at the moment. Probably in a better place right now. Away from Snow's torture and rule. I may be watching you right now, with father by my side, living a peaceful life in District 12. You would probably go hunting even though you wouldn't need to bringing back game. With Gale by your side, both hunting as habit. I know you really well, Katniss, which is why I know that my death would have a great impact on my life. You would probably not eat. Not move. Not do the things you normally do. But please don't. I don't want you to suffer for me. As I was a child, all I ever did was watch you grow up and mature early, taking all the responsibilities of the family, caring for us and making sure we survive. I don't want the rest of your life to be the same. Especially because of me.
I know that by now that the rebels must have definitely defeated the Capitol. I wish I was there with you but maybe not being there is the best. That's why I went there. That's why I went to the Capitol. I realised that President Coin didn't want you alive. She looked at you as a threat to her power. I realised that when she sent Peeta to the Capitol to join your squad. In that state, Peeta would kill you. He had no control over himself at times and I realised your life was in danger. And when I was summoned by Coin and she told me that I could be on the medics' team it just proved to me that she wanted you to be weak. The medics' team was usually filled with adults and then her selecting me to go shocked me. But then I realised that she wanted to kill me. She wanted you to watch me die. Watch the girl you always protected to die. So that you didn't have the power to fight. She was playing the same Games as Snow and did whatever it took to break you. Plutarch tried to stop me. Told me that he would figure out a way, but I refused. The best option I had was to die. Because I have always been your weakness Katniss. Always. If my name hadn't been reaped, you wouldn't have volunteered for the Games and potentially die. And now if I were to be alive, you would have another person to be used against you. To make you feel weak. To make you controlled. If I were alive, Coin would've used me against you so you could give her your support. I didn't want to be the reason for you to be supporting another person that would drag Panem towards another Hunger Games. Although I knew that you would be broken by my death I felt that by writing this letter to you, you will understand why I did it and maybe move on in life.
Katniss, I want you to live your life. I know you won't be able to forget me Katniss. You love me so much. But remember that there are other people in your life. There are other people that you should be certain you love. There's mother. And Gale. And Rory. Then there's Haymitch. And lastly, Peeta. They are all there in your life. And they all love you, Katniss. Don't feel lonely. Please.
I hope that in the future you have beautiful children. Maybe a son and daughter. Both resembling you. Maybe one resembling me. One probably exactly like you. A hunter. And one like their father. They would be happy and so would you, knowing that their names would not be in the reaping bowls and that there are no chances for them to go into the Games. If only I could hear them call me 'aunt Prim'. If only I could've carried them in my arms. But I'm happy knowing that they have such a loving mother like you and the knowledge that you had a sister called Primrose that would love them if she had the chance.
Don't miss me Katniss. Because you only miss people who are far away from you. And I've not gone away from you, Katniss. We have always been together, since our childhood, with you always looking out for me. And nothing is going to change. I'm not going away from you, Katniss. I'm right there. In your heart.
Love, your dearest Prim.
"Prim." Mum cries. "I love you." I love you, Aunt Prim. I wish you were here. With me. "You were never my weakness. You were my strength. And will always be."
I don't really know a lot about Prim but I know that she was very sweet and lovable. After reading this letter, I just wish I met her. As Mum cries I notice another piece of paper stapled to Prim's letter. Silently, I take the letter from Mum and see it's another one from Gale.
Dear Katniss,
This letter from Prim has always been with me. Prim gave the letter to Rory so he could give it to you, but he couldn't. We went District 2. I tried, Katniss. I tried many times to just give you this letter. But I couldn't. I didn't want to risk sending it through someone else, because this letter is very precious and I know that you wouldn't able to bare the fact that Prim's last words to you has gone. But after everything that has been happening, I realised that you need this letter. To give you strength and courage. I'm sorry I couldn't get it to you before.
Love from Gale.
Effie's loud and perky voice wakes me up as I groggily get out of bed. I shower and walk out to the dining car.
"Ah. Ashlyn. You're right on time." Effie says, happily. Everyone is already present at the table and I fill my plate and take my seat too. Effie checks her schedule before continuing to speak. "We will be reaching the Capitol soon. You will be there for three days before-."
"Three days?" Mum asks, clearly managing well, despite reading the letter for Gale and Prim the night before the last. I managed to console her that day and managed to give her strength. But I feel that it was Aunt Prim's letter that gave her the most strength. "I don't remember staying there for that long."
"Aquilo's orders." Effie chirps. "So today, Keeth and Ashlyn, you will have your interviews with Caesar and then in the evening there will be a party at the President's mansion. The rest of your stay will be announced soon."
Great, I think to myself. Just great.
I wait in my room in the Training Centre for Justice to arrive. My make-up, applied by my prep-team, is dominantly blue, which hints to me that my clothes are a similar colour. My hair has been curled into dark ringlets and is left out. After a long wait, Justice walks into the room with a large black bag. Once I have put on the dress, Justice makes some final adjustments and then permits me to look at myself in the mirror. I wear a free-flowing light sea-green dress with the hem being high, up to my mid-thigh from the front and the hem feather-touching the floor from the back. The colour is a gradient from light to dark. There are silver sequins on the hem of the dress. My heels are a matching silver. Overall, I look enchanting.
I am escorted backstage in order to wait for my entrance. Keith is said to be on the other side, waiting. Effie instructs me to wait until my name is announced and Keeth and I will walk on stage from opposite directions. One person informs me that it will be quite a while till I will be called by Caesar so I take a seat on a small couch backstage, my leg jittering due to nerves. My mind is focusing on what I need to say in the interview and most importantly the song I will sing. However, my thoughts are interrupted by a loud thud. Scared and startled, I jolt up and turn on my heel to see a Peacekeeper.
"Come with me." He says in a deep voice. For some reason, there is no shock or surprise or confusion from my behalf. It's like I've been expecting this from the start. To be summoned by a Peacekeeper. To be taken away and in custody. To be tortured brutally until I speak or reveal any information. Eventually to be killed. Maybe Aquilo can arrest or kill a Victor. Maybe I underestimated his intentions. The Peacekeeper leads me through many doors and along many hallways until he stops at a door and indicates me to walk in. I take a very deep breath, bracing myself for the short future ahead of me and twist the polished brass knob and step inside. A bearded man sits at the oak desk, his snake-like and venomous eyes boring into me. Despite the fact that the insides of me are shivering in fear at the sight of President Aquilo, I manage to plaster a confident and fearless look on my face as I approach the chairs opposite him.
"Ah. Miss Mellark. Take a seat." Aquilo says motioning me. I comply as I pull the chair out and take a seat. "I am sure you must have expected this visit." Expected? Why would I expect this? Then I remember – the deal. He's going to tell me about the deal. I realise that I haven't responded to what he has been saying so I speak.
"Yes. The deal." I say.
"Correct." He says. "I have put a lot of thought into this and I feel like many people will benefit from this deal that we will make." Aquilo says. "After your Games, you have been the centre of attention and interest amongst many people in the Capitol. However, there's one in particular, one who is part of this deal."
Here it comes. I hold the charm bracelet in my hand and squeeze it in my hand waiting him to break the news that I will now have to sell my body. But it never comes. In fact, it's something else. Something that I never expected. Something that is worse than what I expected.
"You have agreed to marry my son before the next Games."
Wow! I am actually very pleased with this chapter. And I was especially happy about revealing the deal. So, did you expect that? I always had this deal planned that Ashlyn would have to marry Aquilo's son. So, what will she do now? Will she agree or not? Who do you think Aquilo's son will be and how do you think he is? And what about her feelings for Keeth? Poor Kashlyth. There's always something tearing them apart.
I also included a moment of protective Peeta. I actually quite liked writing that segment because I would honestly expect Peeta to fight for the people he loves. What did you think of that?
How did you like Prim and Gale's letter? Their letters were the main reason why I couldn't update quicly as I wanted to make sure their letters are perfect. What did you think about them? Please send me feedback for this chapter because it took me quite a while to write.
Please review guys. I cherish your support and value them very much.
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