A/N: "The more we try to hold onto those we love, the lonelier we seem to become."
DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.
Olivia was pacing back and forth in the living room. She was holding a crying baby, trying to calm the poor thing, and keeping one eye on Elliot.
He looked haggard, his face drawn and pale, as he shouted into the phone. He had called everyone Kathy knew, and they all told him the same thing. No one knew where she went, or why, or when she would be back.
Olivia bit her lip as she watched Elliot hang up and then quickly dial another number. She didn't know what was going through his head, but part of her couldn't help but think he wanted to find her because he still loved her.
She sat on the couch, the baby now silenced and sleeping, and she fixed her gaze on her partner. He looked consumed with worry, and she wondered briefly what he would be doing if it was her that had gone missing. Would he be making the same crazy calls? Would he be out there trying to find her? Would he just let her go?
She shook her head and closed her eyes, hating the negativity of the thoughts swirling in her head. Of course he would care if she'd left, he'd look for her, and he would drag her back home by her hair. She chuckled, picturing it, and she sighed as she turned her attention to the baby.
"Where's your mommy, little one?" she asked softly.
She felt the dip in the sofa beside her and his voice was exhausted as he spoke. "I wish I knew the answer to that," he said. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Fin's not having any luck, and the guys we have looking are turning up empty handed. It's like she just vanished into thin air."
"She didn't leave a note? Nothing?" Olivia asked, turning her head up to look at Elliot.
Elliot shook his head and kissed her nose. "Nothing," he said. "She left here, went to see Kathleen, and she was gone."
"What did she say to Katie?" Olivia asked, shifting the baby in her arms to get closer to Elliot.
He kissed her lips softly and said, "She told Katie that she was sorry, that everything was her fault, and we'd all be better off if she left." He shook his head and said, "And then she said that she couldn't watch you marry me, not without trying to stop it, but she had Fin and the baby, and she couldn't destroy another family either."
"That's confusing," she said, tilting her head.
He nodded. "Katie was confused," he chuckled. "Imagine her trying to relay that to me."
Olivia laughed, picturing the conversation, and then she sighed. "So what are you gonna do now?"
"Me?" he questioned, his eyes wide. "No way. I told Fin we'd watch the baby and that I would make some phone calls. Finding her, bringing her back, that's his job. Not mine. She lost the right to drive me crazy when she slept with him the first time."
She raised an eyebrow at him. A silent challenge to what he'd just said.
"Just like if you ever picked up and left, I'd be out there looking for you," he told her. "But I know you better than that. You wouldn't run like she did. Not from me." He brushed her hair back and smiled at her. "If you were gonna run, you would have run long ago."
"I did run," she said, a light sadness in her voice. "I ran from Dean, right to you. Where I belong," she told him, dropping her head to his shoulder.
"Damn right," he said, sighing as she sunk further into him. "You belong with me. You always have, honey. It just took us a while to find that out."
She chuckled and nuzzled into his chest, holding the baby a little more snug between them. As she drifted off, her exhaustion getting the better of her, she had a vision of her in the dress she had tucked away in the closet. She was wearing it for a reason. For Elliot.
She woke up with a warm blanket draped around her, the baby out of her arms. She blinked, confused, as she sat up. "El?"
"Right here," he said, his voice carrying from the side table. "Fin's in the kitchen, the baby's in the carrier on the table. You fell asleep."
She yawned and nodded. "Thanks for the recap," she said, shoving the blanket off of her and getting up. "Did he find her?"
He just looked at her and her question was answered.
"Damn it," she said softly, stepping toward him.
He sighed and said, "He had Morales track her phone, which was found at a bus station, on a bench."
"Explains why she wasn't answering any calls," she said with a deep sigh. "Does he have any idea where she might have…"
"I do," he interrupted. "He's heating up bottles and then he's gonna go see if I'm right."
She narrowed her eyes. "Where do you think she went?"
"I think she might have gone back to her dad's place in Jersey," he said, running his fingers through her hair. "She always said if things got bad, or she needed to escape, she'd go back to her father."
"I thought he didn't want to have anything to do with…"
"Me," he said, cutting her off. "He didn't want to deal with me. I took his little girl's innocence, her life, and he hated me for it. I married Kathy and he said that he couldn't have anything to do with her. Not until I was out of the picture," he explained with a sigh. "I am, so…"
"Her father, though? After eighteen years?" she asked, shaking her head. "Really?"
"It's worth a shot," he said, kissing her again. "We really don't have any other options, baby."
Fin cleared his throat, turning their heads, and he held up the baby carrier. "You sure it's all right?" he asked, trying to smile.
"Of course," Olivia said, nodding. "You go find Kathy, and I promise we will take good care of your daughter."
Fin nodded, gave the alert baby a kiss on the cheek, handed Elliot a warm bottle, and left, hoping Elliot was steering him in the right direction, and that he'd find Kathy.
Elliot watched the door slam behind Fin, and then looked at the bottle in his hand. "I haven't held one of these in…"
"Fourteen years," Olivia said, smiling. "Since the twins were little, I know."
He raised an eyebrow and said, "I'm a little out of practice, but I think…I think I should probably get used to this, huh?"
"What?" she asked, furrowing her brow.
He chuckled as he walked toward the baby, and he said, "We're having kids, aren't we?"
"Not right now," she laughed, her heart warming up as she watched Elliot pick up the squirming little girl. There was something so endearing about it, something she loved about seeing him with a baby. She noticed it at work, the cases involving children, and each time she saw it she fell in love with him all over again.
He tilted his head and chuckled as he fed the baby. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Huh?" she asked, not aware that she even was. "Oh, uh, I just…you just…I love you."
He leaned over and kissed her, smiling. "I love you, too, baby." He rocked on his heels, holding the baby, humming softly.
Dickie, his crutches clicking on the hard wood, walked up behind Olivia. "I thought he'd hate her," he said.
Olivia turned her head and squinted. "Your mother?"
"Charlotte," Dickie said, jutting his chin toward the baby. "He's not exactly happy about her existence, and he's pretty pissed at her parents, but there he is, loving her."
"Your father's not going to hold anything against the baby," Olivia said. "She's a part of your life, a part of his, he's accepting that, honey."
Dickie shook his head. "He picked the name, ya know," he said. "Another reason he should hate her."
"What do you mean?" she asked, folding her arms.
"Dad always wanted to name his next kid Charlotte if it was a girl," the teen said. "He and my mother used to talk about it a lot. He had visions of calling her Charlie and making her into this real tomboy. He wanted to make her like you."
Olivia gasped lightly and looked back at Elliot, who was still rocking the baby and smiling at her. "Oh," she said softly.
"Yeah," Dickie said, "So it's just another thing Mom took from him." He shook his head and said, "Just another thing he has to forgive her for, and another thing you have to make him forget about."
She turned her head toward Dickie and tilted her head.
"You know that's what you do," the boy said with a smirk. "You make him forget the bad things, forget the drama, and forget that he ever had anything go wrong. You make him smile and you make him remember what he's really living for, that whatever he was upset about doesn't matter because he has you."
"Dickie," Olivia whispered, tears building in her eyes.
"You do that for all of us, actually," Dickie said, giving her a small smile as he turned on his crutches and walked back toward the guest room. "Goodnight, Liv. I love you."
"I love you, too, sweetheart," she whispered, smiling at him.
"He's right, ya know," Elliot said, placing the baby, who had fallen asleep again, into the carrier.
She moved toward him, silent, and cupped his face. She looked into his eyes and moved in, slowly, pressing her lips to his.
He responded willingly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him. He let his tongue move, taking over her mouth, possessing her. He let his hands wander to her hips, gripping and pulling at her body.
She moaned softly, leaning into him and feeling him press back against her. This kiss was going to become much more if they didn't control themselves.
Baby Charlotte clearly knew, and took it upon herself to save them by crying loudly, breaking the couple apart.
Breathless, they stayed locked in each other's arms as they turned to the baby. "Gotta get used to this again, too," Elliot said, laughing.
Olivia rolled her eyes, but she had an unshakable feeling he was right.
A/N: Where is Kathy? What does Fin do? And someone comes home sooner than planned. Why? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212