It took less than a month to transition me and Ivy into our own compartment. We're both thrilled. It's only been a few weeks and we admitted that it was weird at first, but for some reason, we just fit together. We've already eased into daily rituals. We still maintain busy schedules but living together means we can do things at the same time. For instance no matter what, we can have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We spend reflection time together, especially now that we are allowed to go outside. It's made things easier and Ivy nor I have to get special permits to join each other outside our designated time. More importantly, we have total privacy, and having total access to each other means we get to grow together.
Once again, I will deploy on another mission. Like last time, my unit will meet with Paylor at 8 then receive further instruction from there. I find myself thinking that the idea of leaving Ivy after this constant proximity to her really hurts. Neither of us wants to lose the home that we're creating. Just then my door knocks and I answer it.
"Hey buddy, you ready?" Silas stands at the other side of the door.
"Hey, yes, I was about to get going but I was sidetracked. What are we doing today?" I ask because I've been feeling distracted for days.
"We're doing drills outside, I heard the weather is beautiful." He says sounding chipper.
We head out to meet the unit. As we line up with our designated groups, I see Katniss. I'm surprised that I've seen her participate more often, but I guess it makes sense since she'll be deploying at the same time as me. Our drill begins with a long run throughout the designated paths. After we're done with the run we begin other drills. Towards the end of the training day, we start to head back towards the meeting point when we hear a scream. The moment I hear it, I feel a freezing sensation run down my spine and I actually feel dizzy. Silas and Nathan notice immediately.
"Are you okay!?"
I stop to think because I honestly don't know, once again we hear the scream and I feel panicked. "I don't know. You hear that right?"
"Yes, someone is screaming." Nathan tells me.
"Okay, Jo!" I start to call for her, and she rushes towards me.
"I'm right here." She affirms and I guess she must know what my fear was, that something could be happening to her. I hold on to her hand and squeeze it. Just then we hear the scream again.
"What the hell is that?!" I protest and one of my fellow unit soldiers suggests that we just get back to the meeting point. We begin to jog our way back to the meeting point. Just then we see her. Katniss running in the same direction, screaming with Gale and Finnick calling after her screaming for her. Something inside of me takes over, it's not the threatening monster, it's a panic that something may seriously be wrong with Katniss. I can't help it, it's completely beyond me. I end up breaking from my unit and run in Katniss's direction. As I do, I hear Nathan, Silas, and Johanna running behind me, screaming me to stop, but I can't. We run into an unmarked area of the woods and I see them. Gale has caught Katniss and she's screaming mercilessly. Finnick sees me and he looks panicked he positions himself as to block me and I realize that he is thinking the worst, that he screaming may have set off one of my attacks so I slow down.
"Finnick it's okay, I'm fine. What's wrong with her?" I ask him and before he can answer I hear her.
"It's burning! Please get it off me!" She's screaming and in pain. Something inside of me hurts, I can't stand it. I try to get to her to help but Finnick stops me.
"It's probably best that you don't." Just then Silas, Nathan and Johanna catch up with me.
I keep looking at Gale and I can see that he's starting to search through her Mockingjay suit, she wasn't wearing it earlier but she is now.
"What the hell is going on?!" I ask.
"Her suit, we ran through something and it may be vegetation in the area, it's pollen and I think it really got into her suit, it may be poisonous." Finnick explains and he shows me his hands, which look red and inflamed. "It burns." He tells me. Just then I hear Katniss scream out in pain again and I see tears on her face. I'm hit with a light, a flashback and I see a white cloud approaching me, like fog, but I hear Katniss's scream, demanding that I run, that we run, me and Finnick. I have images of them, grotesquely disfigured because of that fog. I realize that it's from the Quell, yet another silent memory making itself known. I shake the thought out of my mind.
I feel Nathan shaking me. "Peeta, come on, this is painful to watch and it can't be good for you, let's go get help for her. Come on." He begins to pull on me and she screams out in pain again.
I push away Nathan's arm. "Gale get her out of that damn suit!" I yell at him
"What' do you think I'm trying to do!" He shouts back at me. I can't blame him, that damn thing looks like an armor. Gale then effortlessly lifts her up and leans her up against a tree, as she continues to scream out in pain, she refuses to open her eyes. He's desperately trying to search the suit to unstrap or unzip I'm sure. She screams again and I can't take it anymore. I push past Finnick and I shove Gale out of the way.
"Let me try." I say aloud and when I do, and Katniss realizes that I'm there, because she opens her eyes and once again, I'm face to face with her. We're looking into each other's eyes. I can see pain in them and it hurts me, deeply. "Katniss we're going to try to get you out of this damn thing." She begins to sob again and it makes me feel more desperate. I look everywhere on her sides and I feel bad that I'm moving her around as if she were a rag doll. I can tell she's trying to be brave but she can't handle it, she lets out a shrill scream again. I stand up and in a desperate effort I reach behind her neck, grab the material of the suit and I just start pulling it apart, ripping it. As I do this, it's as if her body springs upwards and she stops screaming. Our eyes meet, and I get hit with a flash of light again. I see Katniss in a black dress, that looked like a Mockingjay. I force myself to stay focused and I drop to my knees as I continue to rip the suit off her. When she's free of it, Gale pulls her off the ground as I pull the rest off the suit off her legs. But the flashback doesn't stop. It's as if I were living two realities. In one, it's me and Katniss in the training center, a room, I desperately ripped a Mockinjay dress off her. Only then she wasn't on fire from some toxin. It was clearly a moment of passion, there were black feathers swarming everywhere around us. I'm completely unprepared for the memories that come rushing back. I desperately lifting her off the ground as I stripped that dress of her along with everything else. What the hell happened? I wonder feeling utterly confused.
"Peeta, Peeta!" I feel Silas shaking me. I look at him and I finally snap out of it and only then do I realize that I'm on my knees on the ground. In the distance I see Gale carrying Katniss in his arms to get her help. I have to take a deep breath. I stand up and I'm shaky.
"Do you need a sedative?" Silas asks, and I nod yes desperately. He gives me a pill and I crouch down on the ground and cover my eyes, but I can't get that image out of my head. When I feel that my breathing has slowed down. I feel calmer, I look up at Johanna.
"Did Katniss wear a Mockingjay dress?" I ask her desperately.
She looks taken aback. "Yes, at the Quell. The night of the interviews, she wore a wedding dress that turned into a Mockingjay dress when she twirled." She smiles. "Cinna's doing." She adds. I nod
"Are you okay? Do we need to restrain you?" Silas adds.
I stare at him and feel utterly confused because I'm still trying to make sense of what I saw. "I had a flashback." Is all I can say as I try to catch my breath.
"The quell interview?" Johanna asks as she gently places a hand on my shoulder.
"Yes…" I say nervously because I don't know what to do or say. "Well not exactly – Must have been after…"
Silas laughs. "Tell me old man Haymitch ordered you a tall party after that interview – you sure as hell deserved it." He exclaims and I look at him quizzically. "Oh hell, you don't remember what you did!" He starts laughing again. "So you basically lied, beautifully may I add, and told all those Capitol pigs that you and Katniss had actually married and…" He starts to laugh again. "That you knocked up the little Seam princess." My eyes widen in shock and I have to take a deep breath. "Don't panic because you got the desired effect –the crowd was furious and demanded that they call the Quell off." He continues to laugh.
"They rioted actually" Johanna adds and this makes Nathan and Silas laugh.
I'm still in shock. "I did that?"
"You sure did, you lied beautifully man, you even cried – hell I almost believed it myself." Nathan adds.
"I know I believed it, while we were in the arena, I was almost positive that Katniss was pregnant." Johanna adds.
I take a deep breath and pull on my hair to try to get my thoughts to focus.
"What else did you see?" Johanna asks intently.
I look at all of them and I decide to just be honest so I blurt it out. "It must have been a hallucination actually." I start apprehensively because there is no way that happened. "Distorted memories I'm sure – " I nervously rub my face again and stare at my friends anxiously. "I saw myself ripping that Mockingjay dress off her" I mutter quickly.
"Were you attacking her?" Nathan asks.
"No –" I inhale sharply and think hard again. "No, I ripped it off her and took her in my arms and… we had sex I think…" I say this staring at them and Johanna's face has a curious expression. I look at Silas and he's smiling.
"That sounds more like a fantasy…" He tells me with a grin on his face and even Johanna laughs.
"Is that necessary?" I say feeling irritated by his attitude, I'm terrified by what I saw and he must see that, I'm still shaking.
"Yes it is actually." He says then he turns around. "Come on let's get back and see what happened to our Mockingjay."
"Can you walk?" Nathan asks me and I nod yes. I then catch Johanna staring thoughtfully at me and she offers me her hand. I take it and pull myself up and head back to the District below.
We make it to the military infirmary and we find Gale standing around waiting.
"So – what happened?" Silas asks him.
He looks at all of us and eyes me with concern. "Should he be here?" He points at me, I'm sure he's still afraid I may flip out.
"I'm fine, I took a mild sedative just in case." I say feeling groggy and as I hold on to Johanna to keep myself from tipping over.
Gale continues staring wearily at me, I must look crazed so I look away from him and focus on the wall in an effort to straighten out my eyes. "She's fine, it wasn't some toxic pollen like Finnick thought."
Johanna snorts out a laugh "You have to give him a break, he did survive two Arenas."
"Yeah – right." Gale says.
Just then a nurse comes out from a room and as we walk in I see Finnick sitting on a stool wearing gloves and I see a doctor and Ivy tending to Katniss's injuries. Silas shoots me an amused look and I nod at him disapprovingly, "not now." I look at Ivy and she's smiling at me which makes me smile back. She then shoots me a flirtatious wink and I smile at her again. She's putting an ointment on Katniss's skin, where there appears to be red painful looking welts.
Ivy looks at me again. "Should you be here?" She asks.
"I'm fine. I took a sedative just in case." I reassure her and I notice that Katniss is staring at me.
"In that case you should sit down." She orders me. "Finnick, you don't need your hands to stand please give a sedated Peeta the stool" She demands and Finnick jumps off the stool. I can't help but look adoringly at her as I make my way to the stool.
"Are all 12 girls pushy?" Finnick says.
"What the hell caused it?" Gale asks as he walks towards Katniss and takes her hand.
"I'm fine now." Katniss says and she looks nervously at me, I'm just as nervous to look at her. I can't get the image of me passionately ripping that dress off her and taking her in my arms. I have to take a deep breath. "Thank you for helping me." She says meekly.
I nod "you're welcome." I mutter and quickly look away but I still feel her eyes on me.
"All I've been told is that it wasn't toxic pollen." Gale insists still wondering what happened. Johanna laughs again and Finnick gives her a dirty look. "What could have caused that kind of pain?" He presses.
Ivy finally answers the question. "It was ivy." This makes me look at her and so does Katniss. "Poison ivy. Have you heard of it?" She says coolly. Katniss nods no and I hear Silas and Johanna's suppressed laughter. I shoot them both a dirty look. Ivy continues. "Poison Ivy will burn anyone but you clearly have an allergy." I hear Silas and Johanna giggle again. The irony is not lost on me but I shoot them a look again. "The doctor gave you a cortisone shot and this ointment will get rid of your hives." She takes a moment to look at her then asks. "Question is, how the hell did it get all over your body. You weren't rolling around the ground were you?" She asks her but also at Gale as she shoots him a knowing look. He's too shocked by her insinuation to say anything and she then hands him a tube of the ointment. "Here you go Gale, and it's the real stuff, none of that second rate medicine." She says playfully to him.
He looks at her a little embarrassed and then laughs, but takes the tube of ointment from her. "Thanks girl."
I suddenly feel jealous and I can't help the frown on my face, there seems to be a familiar banter between them and I don't like it.
"She had to change into her Mockingjay suit, we were out in the forest and she laid out the suit over some bushes. I grabbed it for her, which explains my hands." Finnick explains.
Ivy nods then looks at me and walks towards me. "We should head back home, shower, and get ready for dinner…" She announces as if nobody else were in the room.
"Hum, yeah. Let's go" I get up and instantly get dizzy, I fall back against the wall.
"Guys a little help?" Ivy motions towards Silas and Nathan and they help me out of the room. I take one last look at Katniss as she lays on that bed she's still staring at me as Finnick, Gale, and Johanna talk over her. Our eyes meet again, and I see it again, that same delusion, I can feel our lips together, her bare chest against mine, and the overwhelming happiness. It's a hallucination, it has to be.