A/N: Fin-Fish Jun-Tenshi- I can understand that… sorry to make you sad! Hopefully this cute chapter will lift your spirits just a little. I wanted a bit of sunshine before the storm.
December 24, 1944 (STEVE'S POV)
"We didn't get to spend last Christmas together so I want to make this one extra special. I couldn't buy you something this year, but I know how much you love everything else that goes with Christmas, especially the music, so I found a place nearby that will play some Christmas songs we can go to!" I held Maddi's hand as we walked towards a small restaurant nearby that was still open. Many of the places in town closed during the war. Either people were fighting in it or fleeing from it. I had asked the owner of the restaurant the day before if he had a record player or radio that played Christmas music. He told me he was planning to play the radio with some anyway, and his restaurant had a floor to dance in that I was sure Maddi would want to use after we ate.
"Steve you know I don't need any presents. The best Christmas gift is having you here with me tonight. Besides, if you had something, it'd only make me feel bad that I had nothing for you," she joked with a smile. "And of course you're right, Christmas music will make this night even more special." We sat near the window and Maddi smiled at the snow that fell outside. I stayed quiet as I just took in how beautiful she looked when she smiled. Every minute I spent with her was so precious and I wish it never ended. "What's your favorite Christmas song?" she asked me after we ordered our food, and I realized I never really thought about it.
"That's hard to pick, isn't it?" I pondered over traditional songs we grew up hearing in church as well as newer songs written in the last decade or so that were a bit more secular. "I'll be Home for Christmas maybe," I told her. "You're my home, and here I am so I think it's very fitting."
She smiled softly and nodded. "Yes I think it is too. I like The First Noel; it always sounded so beautiful in choirs. I also like that Winter Wonderland song. It's so cheerful I can't help but get excited for the holiday."
"Ah yes, I can remember many times back in Brooklyn when you would hum or sing along to that song." I chuckled and she blushed.
"You're my home too Steve," she said with a content look on her face. "It's why I followed you around the United States, it's why I came to Europe with you, and it's why I realize now that I don't need to think about what our lives would have been like without the super serum. No matter what that would have been, and whatever our lives will be, I just know that my home was, is, and will always be with you." I smiled as my heart warmed from her words. Sometimes I worried in the back of my mind no only about losing her, but what would happen if I were to die in this war instead. I would want her to live a long happy life; I am sure of this because I would certainly give my life to save hers. I knew telling her this would only make her upset so I decided to keep it in my mind for the moment. Christmas was a joyous day, and I didn't want to spoil it with fears and discussions of death.
"I'm so happy to be with you right now," I told her and I didn't just mean in that moment. I was happy to be able to see her every time in between my missions. While I was scared for her safety, it made every trip feel so much better when I got to come back and wrap her up in my arms. It truly was like being home.
As we finished our dinner, I enjoyed listening to Maddi get excited with each song on the radio she knew. She would sing softly along to some of them and I would just smile because I loved her beautiful voice. Sometimes she would realize she was singing subconsciously and apologize, but I told her she should know by now that her singing should never warrant an apology around me. "I've never heard this song before," she said after listening to the first couple of lines of the one that just started.
"It's a new song this year, Judy Garland is singing it," a woman at the next table told her as she heard Maddi's statement.
"Oh I just love Judy Garland!" Maddi said with enthusiasm.
"Well would you like to dance?" I asked her while standing up and offering her my hand. She grinned at me and took it.
"I would love to dance with you." We walked to the center floor and she rested her head on my shoulder as we swayed to the song.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gay
Next year all our troubles will be miles away
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
Someday soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
By the end of the song, Maddi was humming along and I just smiled to myself at her actions. It seemed she always picked up new music she heard very quickly, and she had the ability to remember songs practically forever afterwards. I could tell this song would be one of her favorites. I had one arm around her waist and the other holding her hand close to me. As the song ended and the next one begun, we didn't stop our slow dancing. I lost track of the number of songs we danced to throughout the night, but it was a calming and wonderful change of pace form our usual nights of dancing. Maddi had turned me into quite a dancer since we began going out together years before. I remembered a time when I was petrified at even the idea of dancing with a girl, let alone the girl I was madly in love with. No other girl Bucky found to go on a date with me had never shown the interest Maddi did to dance with me. She taught me how to dance and when I danced with her it made me glad no other girl ever wanted to dance with me.
Maddi was the right partner from the very beginning, and I truly believed I would never be good it if it weren't for her being the person I danced with over the years. We enjoyed the fast pace jazz dancing with live bands, and I twirled her around our apartment to tunes on the radio many times. On top of that, she was the only person to have heard me sing. She loved it so much that I would sing every day to make her smile the way she would when I did. I certainly wouldn't sing for other people, but for Maddi I would obviously do anything. We even had our favorite song to dance with and sing to each other. 'The Way You Look Tonight' had become our song, and it was ever so fitting in our relationship. Maddi had loved me no matter how I looked throughout every part of our relationship, and I have never met anyone more gorgeous and lovely as her.
After we danced for probably almost an hour (although it didn't feel like it was enough), we decided to head back to find our friends and spend the rest of the evening with them. It was rare that we could all find a time together, which was understandable given the circumstances of the world around us, so we wanted to make it count on Christmas Eve. While Maddi and I loved the time we spent just the two of us, we both felt Christmas was a time for all our friends and family. We both agreed that our friends made here were becoming our family, and of course Bucky had always been a part of our family since we were young. It was a joyous night that let us all forget about everything Hydra was putting us through and would continue to put us through until the war was over.
January 5, 1945
Steve often shifted between long missions and short sporadic ones during our time here. Recently they had been shorter, and I was happy for it because it gave us the best of luck to not only be together on Christmas, but on our first wedding anniversary as well. Steve woke me up with soft singing of our song, and I grinned at his cheesy nature. "The way I look tonight?" I asked him. "How do you know how I'll look tonight, we just woke up," I asked and he chuckled.
"You'll look as beautiful as you look this morning and every other time of the day," he responded. I expressed my content with his answer and told him happy anniversary. I couldn't help be smile the entire day because I got to spend it with him as people around us wished us a happy anniversary since many of them remembered the wedding we had the previous year.
"I cannot believe it's been a year," Peggy stated as we spoke with her and Howard. "You two are so lovely together." My hand was in his and I took notice to how young I felt with him. The war and everything else had aged everyone involved. We felt we lived a hundred lives with all the stress and pressure put on everyone, but when I was with Steve like this, it was different. I felt young and happy and hopeful again, and I could tell he felt the same way.
"Well is it isn't the lovebirds we all know and love!" We heard Bucky day as he walked over to us. "I hear the first year of marriage is the hardest, do you think you past the test or are you sick of each other already?" He joked and we laughed along with him.
"I think we're doing great, Buck," Steve answered. "Maybe it about time we find you someone to settle down with."
"Never," he chuckled. "I'm happy for you guys but I'm happier for me. I think I'll keep things the way they are. Besides, you can get on me for taking too long, you are the king and queen of waiting forever to do anything about your relationship." I laughed at his words and shook my head.
"Hey," Steve said in a shocked voice trying to defend our actions of always waiting for the next step since we were just friends back in Brooklyn.
"You know, I don't think we could share our best friend anyway," I said. "But if you did find that lucky girl, I'm sure she'd be a gift from God to deal with you." He mocked a hurt expression at my reading.
"Ah don't listen to them pal, their married life just doesn't fit our style," Howard said with a pat on his shoulder.
"Oh I'm certain the day your married, Howard, will be a day we will all be shocked in," I said. "But a day of rejoicing nonetheless." We continued to talk with our friends and then eventually it was just Steve and I again. We didn't have any big plans, as it was always hard to do with such little resources. However, we were just so happy to be able to spend this day together that we didn't care.
"When this is all over, where should we go for our honeymoon?" I asked him later in the evening.
"It's gotta be spectacular if we had to wait over a year to go," Steve said and I nodded my head.
"Oh yes, something big and completely out of the budget we'll probably have is the only way I want it."
"I'm Captain America, I'm sure I can get anyone to help us with our dream destination for a few weeks." I lightly pushed his arm at his words and laughed.
"Now I know that's not my Steve using his super hero status for self gaining purposes."
"Not for myself, but for the love of my life. I'd use my power, physical or popularity, to get you anything you wanted."
"I greatly appreciate such a generous husband, but we both know I'm happy without extravagant gifts. We'll figure out a nice quiet place to enjoying each other. Honestly I'd be happy with it just being the two of us again in our own apartment. This time our neighbors won't be throwing sideways glances at us since we'll be married."
"Imagine that, finally living alone together in Brooklyn as a married couple." He thought about it for a moment and then continued "I couldn't think of anything better." I kissed him to show my agreement and because I just took every chance I could to kiss him without seeming like a total lunatic. The lovesick feeling I got with Steve was something I might be embarrassed by if I thought about it too much, but it seemed that Steve didn't mint when I expressed it. I knew he acted the same with me so much that the end he went on missions with teased him about it from time to time. It wasn't like before though because these me also respected Steve and were his friends. They didn't do it in a cruel way, but in a way that Bucky would tease us or we would tease him. I was so happy to see Steve happy not just in our relationship but with the people around us.
A/N: So I failed to mention before the reason I put in a miscarriage in their relationship. It wasn't so much to add drama and more sadness to the story, although I'm sure it did, I had a more personal connection to it. My sister experienced a miscarriage with her husband and it's hard to explain the pain that it brought them. It was even harder for me to comprehend that pain because I didn't have experience with it myself. About a year and a half later, they had their first baby and I'm now an Aunt so that's amazing, but the more I talk to her about it, the more I understand how strange it is to lose a child that was never born. They wanted that baby so bad, and she wasn't even pregnant for a full trimester. It's weird to think about if the baby had been born what would their lives be like today, and my sister talks a lot about letting go of those what ifs. Despite seeing two people I love so much go through this, I still wrote about it in my story from first person perspective even though I had an outsider perspective in real life. So there were still things I didn't know how to write, and additionally, not everyone would have the same exact reactions to a miscarriage. Of course one of my biggest barriers writing this is not being able to know first hand what living in the 30s and 40s is like, but there are also plenty of other aspects about Maddi and Steve that I write but I don't know enough about it to portray perfectly. So I guess I just wanted to share that in my story, and I hope it makes sense to people. I also want to thank all the people so invested in my story; I appreciate you a ton!