How to Get Bleach Characters Excessively Fat or Overly Skinny!!!!
A Thanksgiving Special!!!
Author's Note: Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!! Please Enjoy and Review!!!! This one was SUPER long...
-Ichigo:
To get him fat: Get Isshin to tie him to a chair and force feed 10 tons of chocolate marshmallow strawberries down his throat
To get him skinny: After he gets super fat, tell him that the rest of his food he shall eat for the rest of his life will be chocolate marshmallow strawberries and see if he'll ever eat again
-Zangetsu:
To get him fat: Dress up as a professional doctor and tell him (scientifically) that he's aging, and must gain 100 more lbs if he wishes to stay in good health.
To get him skinny: Tell him that Ichigo would grow him some trees and a garden if he went and lost a couple of lbs.
-Hollow Ichigo:
To get him fat: Tell him that Ichigo would get him some purebred puppies if he went and gained a couple of lbs. (From one of the previews in the zanpakuto Strike Back Arc where Zangetsu and Hollow Ichigo were complaining that Ichigo's inner world had nothing but buildings)
To get him skinny: Tell him that the most distinctive difference between him and Ichigo is not their power, but that Hollow Ichigo's so much fatter.
-Rukia:
To get her fat: Tell her that an order from Head Captain Yamamoto states that all shinigami must be over 200 lbs
To get her skinny: Give her a drug that makes her SUPER slow, and then convince her that she must be gaining weight. She'll end up on a BIG diet.
-Sode no Shirayuki:
To get her fat: ...uh...sorry having a sudden disturbing images of a fat Shirayuki...shiver...
To get her skinny: Tell her that she has been booted out of the title Most Beautiful Zanpakuto because everyone noticed that she's been gaining weight.
-Uryu:
To get him fat: Tell him that Quincys have a reputation for being as thin as a stick and extremely fragile
To get him skinny: ...I think that he's skinny enough...
-Orihime:
To get her fat: Err...sorry people, she CAN'T get fat. Remember, "All of those calories must have been absorbed by her...part...thing..."
To get her skinny: Lock her in her house so she can't go shopping for crazy foods
-Chad:
To get him fat: Tell him that it has been proven that sugar makes people buff
To get him skinny: ...Has no idea whatsoever...
-Yamamoto:
To get him fat: Do the same thing as how to make Zangetsu fat
To get him skinny: Tell him that he is constantly losing fan girls because old men aren't supposed to be muscular
-Sasakibe:
To get him fat: Uh...well...you can always...
To get him skinny: Well...can't think of anything specific...so...just lock him in a barrier for a couple of weeks I suppose...or, you can replace his tea with acid!!! Ouch, that'll leave a mark...
-Gonryomaru:
To get him fat: Tell him that the REAL reason why Soifon mocks him so much is because he's too skinny for his clothes.
To get him skinny: When he asks you for suggestions to stay fit, laugh and say, "Sorry, but I don't think you can get any thinner!!!"
-Soifon:
To get her fat: Tell her that Yoruichi thinks she's way too skinny
To get her skinny: Tell her that Yoruichi thinks she's getting slower and slower by the minute, must be from eating so much...
-Suzumebachi:
To get her fat: ...She's a bee...how fat can she get????
To get her skinny: Spray her with insect repellant, and see if she'll shrivel up
-Omaeda:
To get him fat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...sorry...I mean, can he GET any fatter?
To get him skinny: ...Good luck with that...
-Gegetsuburi:
To get him fat: ...same...snicker...concept with....giggles...Omaeda...HAHAHA
To get him skinny: Get Omaeda skinny, and he'll change too
-Gin:
To get him fat: Tell him that it was Aizen's orders
To get him skinny: Tell him that Aizen plans on killing him because he's getting useless and slow...unless he goes on a diet
-Izuru:
To get him fat: convince him that Gin left the shinigami because he was sick of having a stick for a lieutenant
To get him skinny: After he becomes fat, say, "Oh wait, or did Gin leave because he thought you were too thin..."
-Wabisuke:
To get him fat: Tell him that if he gains weight, it'll add to his collection of weights...get it? LOL
To get him skinny: ...He's skinny already...
-Unohana:
To get her fat: I don't think that anything will convince her to...
To get her skinny: Tell her that Squad 11 thinks she's fat... (She'll either try to lose weight, or she might walk over to Squad 11 and create a massacre)
-Minazuki:
Our greatest apologies, but we don't even know if Minazuki's a guy or a girl or what he/she looks like... (We're assuming that Minazuki's a girl...)
-Isane:
To get her fat: Tell her that Unohana hates skinny people
To get her skinny: Tell her that if she doesn't lose some weight, than Unohana is planning on giving her "special" treatment on weight-loss
-Hanataro:
To get him fat: Give him free candy and say that it's from Unohana and she expects him to eat ALL of it
To get him skinny: Same concept with Isane
-Aizen:
...No clue really....
-Hinamori:
To get her fat: Tell her that larger people seem to be tougher, and that she can too
To get her skinny: Tell her that Aizen left because he was sick of looking at a fat lieutenant every day
-Tobiume:
To get her fat: Tell her that if she eats more, she'll be just as hot as Haineko
To get her skinny: Tell her that Hyourinmaru thinks that she's fat
-Byakuya:
To get him fat: Tell him that Rukia thinks gives him the nickname: Twig face
To get him skinny: Tell him that Hisana would always complain how fat he was
-Senbonzakura:
To get him fat: Replace him samurai suit with an extra large one, and state that he must have some disease that makes him lose 10 lbs a day.
To get him skinny: Replace his samurai suit with a extra small one and state that he must be getting fat...and say out loud, "No wonder Shirayuki avoids you..."
-Renji:
To get him fat: Tell him that he'll never beat anyone in a food eating contest
To get him skinny: Tell him that the fangirls that stare at him are leaving because blubber is starting to form on his stomach
-Zabimaru:
To get them fat: Free food on the house!!
To get them skinny: Sneak weight losing pills into every food they are served
-Komamura and Tenken:
To get him fat: Fill their food with 100 lbs of sugar, and then 100 lbs of salt to hide the sugar's flavor
To get him skinny: Make them realize what was in the food and tell them that ALL the food these days are like that
-Iba:
To get him fat: Tell him that the Shinigami Women's Association mocks him for looking to weak and thin
To get him skinny: Tell him that the Shinigami Women's Association also mocks him for running around with him fat stomach jiggling around as well
-Kyoraku:
To get him fat: Give him 100 boxes of candy and tell him that Nanao spent 10 days making it for him, he'll have to eat it!!
To get him skinny: Tell him that both Lisa and Nanao complain that he's so fat
-Katen Kyoukotsu:
To get them fat: Tell them that Kyoraku moans about how women are so skinny and wimpy, and it applies to them especially.
To get them skinny: Oh! Tell them that Kyoraku doesn't mind them leaving him, for he surrounds himself with beautiful women, not two fat lady sumo people.
-Nanao:
To get her fat: Invite her to Orihime/Rangiku's chocolate buffet. Force her to eat everything.
To get her skinny: No sweat. After the buffet, she'll never eat again
-Tousen:
To get him fat: replace his food with condensed carbohydrates
To get him skinny: Replace his food with soggy leaves
(For both of these methods, they will work since he can't see what he's eating anyways...)
-Hisagi:
To get him fat: Bribe Kazeshini to force food down his throat every midnight when he sleeps
To get him skinny: Bribe Kazeshini to slice up everything is about to eat for Hisagi eats it
-Kazeshini:
To get him fat: Tell him that Hisagi plans on destroying all the food he eats when he has the chance. Kazeshini will begin to wolf down his food paranoid-ish.
To get him skinny: Well, we all agree that Kazeshini is another one of those skinny people...right?
-Toushirou:
To get him fat: Tie him down and call Rangiku and her chocolate buffet over
To get him skinny: He'll never eat again after that...LOL
-Hyourinmaru:
To get him fat: Tell him that Toushiro thinks he's too skinny
To get him skinny: Tell him that Toushiro changes his mind and thinks that Hyourinmaru to too darn chubby for an ice dragon
-Kenpachi:
To get him...uh...Please, don't try anything with him...
-Yachiru:
Okay...to get her fat...you got to...uh...I think Kenpachi is looking at us funny...run away...
-Yumichika:
To get him fat: replace his mirror with a fun house mirror to make him look super skinny, he'll freak out XD
To get him skinny: Same thing, just use a different mirror to make him look obese
-Fuji Kujaku:
To get him fat: Tell him that his face is getting very bony lately
To get him skinny: Feed him a potion that makes his feathers fall of, and then tell him that the falling feathers are a result of over weight.
-Ikkaku:
To get him fat: Give him a potion that suppose to make him grow hair, but is actually a bunch of sugar juice
To get him skinny: Tell him that baldness comes from eating too much.
-Houzukimaru:
To get him fat: Send him to an all you can eat buffet with Ikkaku
To get him skinny: Lock him in the all you can eat buffet restaurant and when the food runs out, leave him in there with Ikkaku for a month or so...
-Mayuri:
To get him fat: Tell him that he'll never be as good as Kisuke because he's too twig like.
To get him skinny: Replace his poisons with a body mass absorbing gas.
-Ashisogi Jizo:
To get him fat: Convince Mayuri to give him surgery to make him fat so he can hold more poison
To get him skinny: Make sure that the poison you used makes the host turn into a bony figure
-Nemu:
Do whatever in the name of Mayuri-sama
-Ukitake:
To get him fat: Tell him that Unohana says that the more he eats, the less coughing he will have
To get him skinny: Give him some sough drops to eat which are actually Mayuri's body mass absorbing poisons
-Sogyo no Kotowari:
To get them fat: Tell them that there's a pie eating contest game
To get them skinny: Tell them that Ukitake's playing a game with them called: See who can not eat for the longest period of time
-Kiyone and Sentaro:
Tell them that Ukitake declared a get fat/skinny race between them
Up next...the Espada!!
-Stark:
To get him fat: Tell him that the tradition is that the primera espada must be at least 366 lbs
To get him skinny: After he gets to be 366 lbs, tell him that you screwed up and he's suppose to be UNDER 366 lbs.
-Barragan:
To get him fat/skinny: ...I think that his death breath will destroy everything...
-Harribel:
To get her fat: Tell her that she's so skinny that her rib cages are showing
To get her skinny: Tell her that she's developing a physical similarity with Barragan and Zommari
-Ulquiorra:
Eh...Whatever you say, he'll reply with, "I have no time to deal with trash."
-Nnoitra:
To get him fat: Tell him that the reason he lost to Kenpachi was that he was too fragile and delicate
To get him skinny: Tell him that his Espada uniform makes him look like a walrus
-Grimmjow:
To get him fat: Tell him that his uniform and him mix like a bag full of blubber
To get him skinny: Tell him that his abdominals are disappearing and so are his fangirls
- Zommari:
To get him fat: Make him go into resurrection form (lol, we think that his pink pumpkin form is soooo stupid and fat...)
To get him skinny: YOU CAN'T!!! 'CUASE HE GOT PWNED BY BYAKUYRA AND IS DEAD!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!....sorry
-Szayel:
To get him fat: Tell him that ALL true scientists have to be fat
To get him skinny: Tell him that he would have died a quicker and painless death if he weren't so fat, then Ashisogi Jizo could've eaten him faster.
-Aaroniero:
To get IT fat: ...I feel sick...
To get THAT THING skinny: ...Don't wanna think about it...
-Yammy:
To get him fat: unless you have eyeball issues, he IS fat
To get him skinny: Introduce him to an exercising program (unless he destroys it...)
Author's Note: LOL Hope you enjoyed and please review! By the way, in honor of Thanksgiving, we made a one-shot called: Turkey Trot. It's about the Soul Society trying to celebrate Thanksgiving for the first time. You gotta bake the turkey, you gotta stuff the turkey, but first, you gotta CATCH THE TRUKEY!!! Sigh, who knew that catching a flightless bird could be so hard...certainly not the shinigami!!
Hope you all a Happy Thanksgiving!