AN: Well, this is the fourth last chapter! Senior year is almost over! Thanks for the reviews from last chapter :) Thanks Angel, and thanks Ali-cat for your reviews from the last two. I'll be trying to update every second day from now until the story is done!
Happy Father's Day for those in Australia :)
Chapter 34 – The Voice Within
Young girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
"Thanks for dinner Aunt Ronica, I'll see you all at the Fennel's tomorrow for dinner?" Lily said as she stepped out the front door of the Echolls' home.
"Of course sweetheart. You're more than welcome to come over and eat all the lasagne you want, you know that," Veronica said cheerfully. "I'd better run though, I can hear Aubrey wailing."
Veronica turned and went inside, shutting the door after her and Lily walked across the front yard and over to her car which was parked on the street.
She sighed and opened the door of her car and got in. Instead of driving straight off she sat there for a moment, thinking. She had a decision to make but she didn't know how to make it. She couldn't avoid it, seeing her Dad reminded her of it, seeing Liam really reminded her of it, but she couldn't avoid them. So she continued to see them, feel bombarded by college choices, but avoid talking about them. Columbia, Pennsylvania, stay in California, the options continually swirled around her brain, making her tired and stressed.
Lily pulled out from the curb and drove home.
"How was dinner?" Duncan asked once Lily had arrived home and found them in the living room.
"Oh good, you know, Aunt Veronica and I ate mountains of lasagne, Uncle Logan looked on in amusement, Aubrey waved her arms around and made a mess with her mush food," Lily recounted.
"Sounds normal," Duncan agreed. "So, any other news to share with me?"
"No, nothing to report," Lily said easily. Avoiding her dad's gentle prompting about college had become an art form.
"Well, I know they say that no news is good news, but I for one wouldn't mind hearing some, soon," Duncan said firmly, but gently.
"Oh, I do actually have some news for you," Lily said suddenly, as if remembering something. Her eyes took on a mischievous gleam and she pasted a casual look on her face.
"Yes?" Duncan asked expectantly.
"You're going to be a grandfather," Lily announced.
Duncan's face went white, absolutely white. He seemed somewhat stunned, and didn't move for almost a full minute.
Lily just watched him, hiding her amusement and waiting for his next action.
Eventually he yelled, "Evelyn! Get in here, now!"
Eva walked quickly into the room, still in her uniform, for she had only just got home from work shortly before Lily arrived home.
"What's the shouting for, Duncan?" Eva asked, mildly irked and mild intrigued.
"She's…pregnant," Duncan said, pointing at Lily. "I wanted you to come here so you can make sure I don't go and kill Liam, at least not before I hear the whole story."
Eva looked at Lily, appalled. "Lily Kane! He's joking, right?" Eva asked.
"I never said I was pregnant," Lily said cheerfully.
"You said I was going to be a grandfather!" Duncan roared.
"That's true, but for all you know I could be adopting a puppy," Lily replied cheekily.
"This isn't funny Lily! Be serious, please," Duncan ordered. "So you're not pregnant?"
"No Daddy, I'm not pregnant," Lily replied. "I was thinking about getting a dog though, that's all I meant."
Duncan shook his head, and Eva looked mildly reproachfully at Lily.
"That really wasn't funny Lily, you practically gave me a heart attack. I must say I do have more of an appreciate for what I put my parents through," Duncan said thoughtfully. "Still, don't ever do that again, or I will work out how to ground you."
"Yes Daddy," Lily said meekly. "Can I go to my room now? Maybe do some homework and get ready for bed?"
"Yes, off you go," Duncan said distractedly, his mind clearly still reeling from the last ten minutes.
Lily trotted up the stairs, quite pleased with herself. Sure, it had been a bit of a mean thing to do to her dad, but it did mean that he was decidedly distracted for the time being, which meant that he hopefully wouldn't have many more questions about college for the time being.
Lily did a bit of her school work, then called Keira.
"Hey Lil," Keira greeted her. "It's a bit late, isn't it?"
"Not really," answered Lily, glancing at her clock.
"Did you want to talk, maybe about…" Keira began.
"No, I don't really want to talk about that, I think," Lily replied. "I guess I just wanted someone to talk to, who won't want to talk about college."
"Well, I'm your girl," Keira said cheerfully. "We can talk about anything. How about how you've been nominated for prom queen, again?"
"Or about how you've been nominated for prom queen, again," Lily retorted teasingly.
"Yes, it's lovely the way the people love us," Keira said in a sing song voice. "And particularly lovely that our school has a prom for us every year. So many opportunities to wear nice dresses and for you to collect crowns."
"So nice of them indeed," Lily agreed playfully. "I seem to have more than enough crowns though now, perhaps somebody else should be queen."
"Are you kidding?" Keira scoffed. "You're Lily Kane, you're already the queen, and it's your senior prom, and you're dating Liam Armistead. You're going to be the queen, whether you want it or not."
"I suppose," Lily allowed, though her mind set to work trying to come up with ideas for perhaps avoiding it. Nothing came to mind though, so she quickly concluded that one more crown wouldn't hurt. "So, you and Ethan aren't going to campaign hard to try for the title?"
"Oh, I think not. We're not much for campaigning, you know that," Keira replied.
"Yep, there's always just a few big pictures of everyone nominated on the walls, and that's that," Lily agreed. "It's so nice of them to use our year book photos. They're so…flattering."
"Well I will admit they're not the nicest photos, but we don't look bad in them at least," Keira remarked.
"All true. Well, it's been nice worrying about trivial and inconsequential material things with you, but I think I'm good to go to bed now," Lily concluded.
"Okay, see you tomorrow. Night Lil," Keira replied.
"Goodnight Keira," Lily returned softly, then hung up the phone.
Lily went and pulled on a pair of pink, cotton pyjamas then slipped downstairs to say goodnight to Eva and her dad.
"Goodnight Daddy," Lily said meekly, still mindful of their previous interaction during the evening.
"Goodnight sweetheart," Duncan said calmly, and kissed her forehead.
She smiled tentatively at him, then he gave her a warm hug, so she knew that he wasn't mad with her anymore.
She went back upstairs and stuck her head into her dad and Eva's bedroom where Eva was already in bed.
"Goodnight Eva," Lily said softly from the door.
"Sleep well Lily," Evelyn returned.
Lily slipped in between her sheets and sighed. She had told Keira she was good to go to bed, but she wasn't really. Going to be left her alone with only her thoughts for company, and these days, her thoughts were complicated and stressful. She closed her eyes and sighed, and a few tears trickled down her cheeks.
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream, of a place where nothing's hard than it seems
Lily was standing in an open field, looking rather agitated. Her face was contorted with confusion and she was wringing her hands.
Before her stood three large buildings, and out the front of each there was a large sign. The first sign read, "Columbia", the second, "Pennsylvania", and the third, "Berkeley".
Lily looked at one, then the next, then the next. She shook her head and sat down on the ground in a heap, sighing greatly.
From her spot on the ground she turned her head and noticed a couple of smaller buildings off to the side. The signs out the front of them read, "UCLA", and "Stanford".
"So, what do I do?" Lily asked aloud, her voice despairing.
"Daddy would love for me to go to either Columbia or Pennsylvania, they're Ivy League schools after all. Aunt Veronica would probably like it if I went to Pennsylvania, but I know she doesn't really care, I guess," Lily said, apparently talking to no one.
Lily continued to talk aloud, sorting out her thoughts. "Liam would love it if I went to Stanford, I mean, I know he's said we'll figure things out no matter where I go, but I know it would be easier for him if I chose Stanford. But I didn't get accepted to Stanford, did I? I mean, I could get in there, if I really wanted to, a letter from Granddad or Daddy and a nice donation would do the trick. I mean my grades are very good anyway."
"Then there's Berkeley, I guess it's really where I'd rather go. It's less than an hour from Stanford, and it's just a short plane trip away from home. I could visit easily that way, watch Aubrey, Caroline, James and the others grow up, still see everyone frequently," Lily reasoned. "I got in there, it's a very good school, it has classes that I want to take."
"Lastly there's UCLA, it's just my back up, so it's not really an option, but Keira is there and it's super close to home. But really, I don't think anyone, including me wants me to choose it," Lily said. "So, definitely no UCLA."
The smaller building with "UCLA" on the sign out the front faded out of the landscape.
From behind Lily a gently amused voice said, "That's an interesting talk you're having with yourself there."
Lily whirled around and said, "Who are you? How did you get here?"
She carefully studied the person in front of her, and realised that the woman looked rather familiar. In fact, she looked like her, Lily. Suddenly it clicked, and Lily realised that the woman looked like the pictures of her mother, Meg.
"Mommy?" Lily asked in a hushed tone.
Meg let out a tinkling laugh and said, "Yes darling, it's me."
"How are you here? Where is here?" Lily asked puzzled.
"It's your dream, we're wherever you want to be, I'm here because you want me here," Meg explained gently.
"Oh," Lily said simply. "So, you've been here for a while, listening to me ramble?"
"Yes, you seem rather conflicted," Meg remarked.
"You picked up on that?" Lily asked dryly.
"Just a bit," Meg said with a smile. "What I don't seem to understand is, why are you so confused about where to go to college? It should be an easy choice, you go to the school that is best for you."
"But there are a lot of factors," Lily said slowly.
"But should there be?" Meg asked seriously.
"Well, of course! It would be selfish if I didn't take some other things into account to make my choice," Lily replied, astonished.
"Really?" Meg pressed.
"Yes!" Lily insisted.
"So, what is most important to you? What are the most important things to you in choosing where you go to school?" Meg asked.
"Well, I want to go to a good school, I have the brains and the grades, and I'd be letting myself down if I didn't go to a good school. And Daddy wants me to go to a good school, and I don't want to let him down. But I also want to be close to home, to Daddy, to Aunt Veronica, and Aubrey, to all of them. And I don't want to be too far from Liam. Our relationship is very important to me, he said he'd move if I wanted to go to an East Coast school, but he has a football scholarship to Stanford, and I don't want him to give that up for me," Lily listed.
"So, it seems to me that your choice should be pretty simple. In fact, I think it's been staring you in the face, but you've been too stressed trying to work out what everyone else wants," Meg said gently.
"Well, yes, I suppose so," Lily said slowly. Just as she said it the lines of worry disappeared off her face, and a light, calm looked settled upon her.
She looked over to where the three large, prominent buildings had stood, and smiled happily at the remaining one.
When there's no one else, look inside yourself, like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within
Lily woke up after her bizarre dream and sleepily blinked her eyes. She noticed that there were rays on sun peeping through her curtains, so she knew it was morning.
Lily sat up in bed and began to remember the details of her dream. Once she started to think about her dream, the details became rather clear and vivid.
Her mother had been there, they had talked, and the choice she needed to make was now obvious. She'd gone to sleep crying, but had woken up smiling. The weight of choice had been lifted off her, her decision was made, and she'd never felt more sure about anything.
It was Thursday morning, which meant it was a school day, so Lily dove into her closet, chose a pale yellow shirt and a pair of light blue jeans. She pulled her hair into a ponytail, then put on her usual jewellery, then practically skipped downstairs to have breakfast.
Duncan and Eva were both already at the kitchen bench, both dressed for the day and eating breakfast. Before Lily left her bedroom she had grabbed the envelop containing the letter of acceptance to the school of her choice.
"I've made a decision," Lily announced cheerfully, waving the letter at them, then dropping in onto the bench in front of them.
They both looked quickly at the envelop and read the printed stamp on the front.
"You're sure?" Duncan asked.
"Sure," Lily confirmed. "We can talk more about it later, I have to eat and now run though. See you tonight at the Fennels'?"
"Of course," Duncan confirmed.
Lily busied herself about preparing a smoothie to go and once it was made she dashed up stairs to get her things.
Back downstairs she grabbed her smoothie, kissed both Duncan and Eva on the cheek, called, "Have a good day," and almost ran out the front door.
"Is that the same person that was living here last night?" Eva asked in wonder.
"She sure is something else," Duncan agreed. "I'm proud of her though. I don't know how, but even with her strange upbringing, she's turned into a responsible, kind and loving young woman."
"There's nothing to be surprised about Duncan," Eva said softly, moving over and wrapping her arms around him from behind. "You're a wonderful father, and your friends have been amazing influences on her."
"Thanks sweetie, I guess you're right," Duncan agreed. "My friends have been great for her, well, maybe everyone except Dick."
Eva chuckled as Duncan attempted to maintain a straight face.
Meanwhile Lily had almost reached the parking lot at Neptune High. She continued down the road then turned into the lot, quickly swung into a spot, then jumped out of the car. She quickly spotted Liam leaning against his Porsche, talking to Jim and Chris.
"Liam!" Lily explained, full of energy and excitement since waking up after her dream.
She ran down the pavement and threw her arms around him and kissed him.
"Good morning," Liam said in amusement, setting her down. "It's nice to see you too."
"It is a good morning, a wonderful morning, I feel like I could sing. In fact, I just might," Lily said delightedly. Then she launched into Oh What a Beautiful Morning!.
Liam let out a booming laugh and pulled Lily into his arms, who stopped singing.
"What are you going on about? Did someone spike your smoothie this morning?" Liam asked in great amusement.
"Nope, I made my choice," Lily said softly, suddenly serious, but still happy.
"And?" Liam asked expectantly.
"I'm going to go to the University of California, Berkeley," Lily said with a broad grin.
Liam picked her up and swung her around excitedly. Chris and Jim decided at that moment that they weren't going to be involved in the conversation anymore, and left.
"I'm so happy for you babe!" Liam exclaimed, setting her down once more.
"You are?" Lily asked, wanting to be sure.
"Of course I am! I'd been prepared to move to the East Coast, so this is amazing," Liam said. "You're sure though? I mean, why did you choose Berkeley?"
"Berkeley gives me the best of everything, a quality education, I'll still be in California, close to home, you'll be close by. Really, I guess it was the only choice," Lily replied.
"No Ivy League?" Liam asked.
"No Ivy League," Lily affirmed. "Sure, Ivy League schools are prestigious, but so is Berkeley, and like I said, it's close to you, and close to home."
"How did you make up your mind in the end?" Liam asked, as he took her hand and they began to walk into the school.
"Funny story actually," Lily began. "Oh! Wait, my stuff is still in my car. I'll just get it, wait here!"
She walked towards her car quickly, grabbed her things and rejoined Liam.
"Now, where was I? Oh, right. I had a dream last night, that's how I decided. It's sounds strange I know, but I was trying to choose which school and then my mom was there, and we talked about it and everything began to make sense. When I woke up, I remembered it all, and it still made sense," Lily explained.
"That's some dream," Liam said with a whistle. "My dreams normally involve you naked, or you and me naked, or occasionally, me playing professional football."
Lily lightly elbowed him and said with a giggle, "Typical."
"Yeah, but you love me. Besides, if I didn't dream about those things, that would pretty much make me gay," Liam reasoned comically.
Lily gasped in mock horror and said, "Well, that really wouldn't be good!"
Liam grinned and said, "So, is my gorgeous and very smart girlfriend coming to watch me play baseball tomorrow afternoon?"
Lily pretended to think deeply, then said slowly, "I think I can manage that. I might bring a book though, in case I get bored."
"Brat," Liam replied, kissing her quickly. "I'll see you at lunch."
Lily smiled and they parted, each heading towards their first period classes.
AN: Thanks for reading! Please review :)
Up next, prom!