Chapter Thirty-Four: A Choice To Make
He had never really experienced the dreams of mortals until that night, sleeping in the strange bed and half unconscious. The dreams had stayed away for the most part, that night, until he had been awakened by something, what, he still was not sure. Yet, he had been driven from the
deep black realm that had held him hostage ever since the pain attacked his body. He had been lifted to a land of grays that was, most certainly, the sleep in which dreams prosper and thrive. That was when they decided to make up for all the time he had never experienced them, and never was forced to writhe from their tormenting ways.
Jareth slept peacfully for a bit longer while he remained in the gray dream area. However, he had no control in this realm and only the dreams decided how long one would receive a calm rest. For the dreams do not care if you are sick, or weak, they only do their jobs and come to the awaiting minds of all who sleep. Jareth's tormented mind was a haven for these dreams to
do their jobs and work their magic. It was a place that they would not give up easily and so would stay in his mind until he physically forced himself to wake from their prison.
He suddenly found himself running through the Deadlands, once again feeling the sensation of someone or something chasing him. He ran, despite his pain and burning lungs, for the other option of surrender was unheard of. Besides, there was something at stake that was more precious to him than life itself. That was Sarah and he knew that she was somewhere out there in the Deadlands, alone.
There were massive storm clouds overhead, threatening to bring rain. Yet, water did not pour from the clouds bellies, instead crystals showered down. Jareth halted, knowing that it was a mistake, but powerless to stop himself. He held out his hands and tried to catch the falling crystals. They would land in his open palms and balance for a brief moment and then disappear entirely.
He gazed upward, wondering why they seemed to land everywhere but on him. Once again the sensation of being watched rose in his gut and he turned on his heels. Behind him stood a darkened figure, dressed in a cloak of pitch black. The hood was pulled over the being's face, hiding any features that could be recognized.
"Who are you?" Jareth demanded, summoning up his greatest strength and powerful voice.
The being only stood there, watching Jareth from its dark shadows. It seemed to snicker, but its voice also was clouded, fogged in some way as well. The sound rode the wind, drifting away as if it had never been there. However, Jareth knew he had heard it, and he had not liked the sound.
"We are one, you and I," the thing replied in the same dead tones that drifted off in a fashion that nearly approached that of echoing.
Jareth shook his head, not believing that such a thing could be like him. He had only heard its voice and seen it, in a cloak mind you, for a brief time, and already knew that the being was evil. There was nothing in that black soul, save hatred. Jareth did not want to face it any longer, nor did he care to speak to it. Instead he chose to run and ignore the falling crystals that rained down all around him.
The dark being was far quicker than he, and Jareth knew that he could never hope to race it and win. He felt its cold skeletal hands grasp him about his shoulders and drain the last bit of energy from his tormented body. Jareth halted, breathing heavily, and doubling over in a stinging pain that bit at his midsection.
"We are one, you and I," the thing replied again.
Yet, this time the being's voice was different. It no longer held the strange floating quality as it had before and lacked the deathly tones. He was not sure if he wanted to face the new thing that now stood behind him, still gripping his shoulders like a vice. Still, there was nothing else to
do, but look at the thing behind him and face its unknown form that could very well drive the last bit of sanity from Jareth's troubled mind.
"Face me, Jareth!" the being demanded.
Now he knew who stood behind him and his fears were instantly forgotten. Perhaps the voices had been right all along. He was weak when he succumbed to this new emotion, this mortal emotion that was now such a flaw in his personality. Yet, he could not avoid it for he was very much in love. He turned, nearly smiling.
She stood there, dressed in the same black cloak, a look of terror on her perfect features. He was instantly worried, urging her to tell him what the cause for such horror was. However, she remained in silence, just gazing at his face with a confused air about her. Jareth stepped forward so that he might take her into his arms, but she disappeared. He felt her presence
behind him, and turned to see her watching him with the same mix of emotions as before.
"Sarah?" Jareth asked, wondering why she should choose to avoid him in this way.
He rushed forward grasping for her, but once again she disappeared into nothingness. Jareth halted, taking in the bleak surroundings with a sweeping glance. Still she reappeared only to fade away when he came near her. He could not approach her, and he knew that now. They had to remain at a distance if he cared to look at her and maybe speak to her as well. She was out of his reach, and he knew that this part of his dream was true. He would never be able to have Sarah, for they were both far too different and from totally different worlds that would never mesh properly together.
Jareth slumped to the ground, acting the exact opposite from his normal kingly attitude. Sarah gazed at him, perhaps wondering why he was acting so strangely. He did not care, for he was disgusted with the whole run of events and how things always seemed to turn out for the worst in the Underground. He would never be able to be with Sarah for he could never kill her and, without the sacrifice, the Underground and he would perish sooner or later.
The figure faded away the next instant, leaving Jareth alone with his thoughts. However, he was not left that way for long. He was haunted once again by the feeling that someone or something was very near and watching him. He whipped his head around, only to see that there was nothing near him. He gazed deep into the darkness, but was not offered anything that proved that he was not alone.
"Jareth!" a whispy voice called from behind him in musical tones.
Jareth spun around and jumped to his feet, not sure what he would see next. He was startled, but not afraid. Katriana stood before him, her hands outstretched and her golden hair flowing behind her like a banner. He waited to see if she would fade away as Sarah had done, but she did not. She stopped in front of him, only a few scant inches away.
"Your choice is yours to make and no one else shall decide. You must know that and realize that no matter what you are, when the time comes, you shall be in charge," she stated.
Katriana opened her hands revealing two small items. In her left palm she held a single owl feather of the purest white and sparkling gently despite the lack of light. In her other was a golden heart, crafted with love and many years. It had been engraved with lovely ornate designs and also shimmered majestically in the darkness. She held them out to him.
"What am I to do?" he asked, quite confused by that time.
Katriana smiled knowingly, trying to calm him by doing so. She gestured to her hands once again and then looked deep into his eyes. He knew what was to be done, but was actually afraid to follow through. One was wrong, and he knew that. He had to decide which one he was to choose.
"Remember what I said," she replied.
Jareth looked at her, concentrating on her beautiful eyes that were so filled with wisdom of the ages through which she had lived. They shone with the light of love that would never be gone, but could never be returned. She waited, patiently, almost like a mother. Jareth turned back to the two items and then with care reached out for the one he had chosen.
His hand touched the golden heart, and pulled it from her open hands. Katriana pulled both arms back to herself and smiled. She then turned and walked away, leaving Jareth with the small heart in his tightly clenched hand. He watched her leave, until all he could see was her blonde hair shimmering faintly in the darkness.
He then turned his gaze to the item he had taken from her and opened his hand to admire its loveliness. Yet, there was not a heart in his palm any longer. He only found a single piece of paper that had been folded many times over again. He unfolded it with ease, so as not to tear the precious note.
Upon the paper was written six simple words, but their meaning was the most important that had ever been disclosed in the Underground. They were the key to everything and all the trouble that had befallen the land and his own body. He read them over several times, trying to understand the significance.
"The magic that love has found," he stated.
The dream broke apart as his conscious mind began to take over the functions that had been since governed by the subconscious. The Deadlands fell away to more blackness and the paper simply dissolved in his palm. He was alone, but he was awake, after long last.
Jareth snapped open his eyes, taking in the darkened surroundings and immediately believed that he was back in his dream and actually not awake. However, the strange aching pain in his head convinced him that he was awake. He was not in the Deadlands. He was, in fact, laying in a simple bed with coarse cotton sheets.
There was little light in the room. A sort of gray twilight filtered through the half-opened drapes that covered the wooden-framed window. This offered enough illumination to see the room he was in and the shape that rested in another bed. Jareth rose from the bed and gradually made his way to his feet.
His head spun sickly, causing him to sway from side to side before catching his balance after a few brief minutes. Jareth straightened himself and checked his wrinkled clothes with mild disgust. It was always annoying to see himself in such a dreary attire as this messy one he now wore. He would take care of it upon returning to his castle.
The shape in the other bed sighed and then rolled over. Jareth watched this and then, as silent as possible, sneaked over to the person's side. He knew who it was before even pulling the covers back just enough to catch a glimpse of her angelic face. He gazed down at her, adoring the way the light played across her features, accenting her full lips and long brunette
hair. He could watch her for ages and never grow bored, but he knew that he could not do so. His dream had told the truth and he knew that he would not be allowed to become too close to her and her life.
He bent down. Perhaps to kiss her perhaps not. However, he was stopped by a hand placed on his shoulder. Jareth was startled, to say the least. That emotion was quickly replaced by anger that boiled to the surface. His temper was one thing that would probably always be with him, and that same temper was violent. He was most furious with himself for being caught in such a vulnerable position as he had been in. He had been caught by surprise for the second time, this case occurring only days after the other instance.
Jareth spun around and slapped the man's hand from his shoulder. The man backed away, obviously not wanting to insight the king's rage, but it was too late. His anger had overtaken his better senses and urged him to retaliate against this man who had dared to pry in his, the Goblin King's, affairs.
"What do you think you were doing? Do you truly think it smart to touch me, to come in unannounced?" Jareth demanded, not caring that his voice had risen several notches in order to frighten the other man.
Thesper stopped, quite worried about what the king might do. After all, tales of his anger were abundantly told around the Underground. Thesper did not want to be another character in a story. He had caught the king in a weak state and had seen something that was not meant to be seen by anyone, not even Sarah. Yet, he had observed Jareth with the girl, and he had appeared as if he were in love. In fact, if Thesper hadn't been an idiot and disturbed the king, he probably wouldn't have ever known and continued on with what he had been planning.
"I am sorry," Thesper replied, most humbly.
Jareth would not listen. He circled Thesper as if he were his prey and he the predator. He grinned, showing his white teeth as he did so. Thesper attempted to stand against the king, not show his true fear, but it was impossible. Jareth had a way to make all feel inferior and as if they would be murdered if they did not agree with him entirely.
Jareth urged him out of the room and closed the door gently behind himself. Thesper observed this all, wondering how the king could be so angry and then act so kindly towards the woman in the room. It was strange. He could not ponder it for long because Jareth came back in for the kill.
"Sorry? Is that all you can say for yourself? I demand to know what you saw! If I find out that you had been spying on me...," Jareth stopped and waited for the half breed to respond.
"I saw nothing, your Highness. I came in simply to check on you and the girl and see that both of you were resting soundly. I came up to you to be sure that you felt all right. You had not awakened for quite some time," Thesper replied.
Jareth's anger boiled at the lying man. He knew what the strange being had done and he knew that he had watched Jareth while he was in a weak state. He could not control himself. Jareth rushed forward and grabbed the man by his shirt, lifting him slightly off the ground so that they might meet at eye-level.
"Lies! I demand the truth! Your life very well might depend on...," Jareth was stopped short by the sound of the door slamming shut.
"Jareth!" Sarah exclaimed.
He dropped Thesper, allowing the man to fall to the ground. Jareth turned, trying to gather his thoughts and stay strong in front of Thesper and Sarah, his love. He did not know how to act. He could not let his subject see him fawning over the woman, but he did not wish to hurt Sarah. He had a choice to make, and he was sure that it would not be his last either.
"What are you doing?" she asked, obviously upset by the way that Thesper had been treated.
Jareth's anger turned to that of jealousy, realizing that Sarah already considered this strange person as a friend. Yet, she was doomed to hate him for all time. He would just have to remember the night they had spent together and try to calm himself down. Jareth smiled kindly and approached her.
"How do you feel?" he asked with a gentle tone.
Sarah crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Jareth closely. She was confused by the way he was choosing to act. He was not the same man whom she had seen on the mountains and had threatened to kill her. She was not sure how to proceed, nor was she sure how to act around him. He was not being cruel to her, though he had been quick to punish Thesper for
something, probably some trivial little pointless thing.
"I'm fine, despite racing across a crumbling mountain and nearly falling to my doom," she said with a bit too much anger in her voice. She had not realized how much he had hurt her by allowing her to almost die... twice!
Jareth seemed to shrink back, as if hurt by her harsh words. His blue eyes shone with dashed hope and some sort of strange emotion that Sarah could not quite place. He looked back towards Thesper, who was still watching them intently. Jareth glared to the man and then strode over to Sarah, grabbing her by the arm and leading her into the other room.
"I will not have you talk that way before my subjects!" Jareth demanded as he slammed the door.
Sarah jerked her arm from his grasp and glared at Jareth, her anger raising to the surface. She would not speak, nor would she look at him. Jareth cursed himself for treating her so poorly, but he could not have the man tell the others about what he had seen. If Jareth allowed Thesper to
believe that Sarah could tell the king off, then it would be over. He had to treat her this way, he had no choice.
"Sarah? Don't turn from me that way," he begged.
Sarah looked at him briefly, wondering if he was capable to ask and not command. She threw her hands up in defeat and then turned away from him. She could not look into his eyes and remain angry, but she was not ready to let him know that.
"Why do you insist on coming into my life? I have to finish this wonderful quest that you so graciously decided to send me on," her voice was meant to be vicious, but only came out sounding tired.
Jareth stepped over to her, not wanting to remain so very far away. He loved her more than anything, but she would never know. The least he could do was return her memories so that she might know that he meant her no harm and, in fact, was the man whom she had loved. However, he realized that that would be an entirely selfish thing to do. He could not put her through the torment that he was facing at that moment.
"I cannot stay away from you," he answered.
Sarah turned to face him, her eyes washed in tears. He took another step closer, wanting only to rush forward and take her in his arms to comfort her. Yet, he could not act so quickly. She was still under the impression that this was the man who had tried to kill her. He knew that, but also knew that it was another part of him, a part that could come out at any time. He could not risk staying much longer.
"Why then, if you feel that way, do you put me through hell? Why do you try to kill me? Why show me my friends that you transformed to stone? Why did you sentence the Mirameds to death in the lake? Why do you act so cold and cruel and then try to tell me that you care? Why did you take my memories!?" she demanded, stomping towards him as she stated each question.
Tears spilled from her eyes, running down her cheeks. Jareth could only stand there and shake his head. He could never explain the reason for these things. She would not understand. He could not tell her the reason why he had taken her memories. She was not to know all that and probably would never be able to receive the truth.
"I do those things with different minds than the one that am I thinking with now. I cannot answer those questions in this frame of thinking, for I do not know the answer," he responded, hoping that that would tide her over for some time.
Sarah looked up to the ceiling, sobbing slightly and trying to stop the tears that had finally fought through. She did not wipe them away, nor did she make a move. She simply gazed upwards and fought to gain control over the emotions that were racing through her body at that time.
"That is not an answer," she finally managed to say without a hitch to her voice.
"It is all I have," he told her, daring another step towards her.
Sarah nodded and smiled, despite the tears that were running down her face. She bit her lip and then took a ragged breath. She turned her bleary eyes towards him, scrutinizing his words and attitude. She wasn't sure if she should dare to believe him after all that he had done to her.
"Jareth, you do all these things and expect me to take that for a reason to explain everything? I don't know if I can, but I can't blame you anymore because I think that, despite my better judgment, you are telling me the truth," she stated.
Jareth stood right in front of her as she spoke, wondering if she was going to fade away as she had done in his dream. He didn't care about the consequences or anything else that could happen because of his actions. All he thought about was Sarah and her tears that still stood out on her cheeks. She said that she believed him. Did that mean that she trusted him as well? There was only one way to find out.
He took her into his arms in one quick movement. Sarah relented, but not as she had done several days earlier. It was almost as if she was reluctant and not sure if she would allow him to lead her as he had done before. Sarah had been hurt too much and also managed to mature even more through the entire course of events she had faced over these past days.
He traced his soft hands over her face, wiping the tears from her cheeks and below her eyes. Sarah closed her eyes and allowed him to support her entirely. She laid her head on his shoulder, adoring the feeling of being so close to him and knowing that he would not hurt her as he had done before. She raised her head and gazed into his eyes.
A memory flew threw her mind as she watched his eyes. They looked like pools of deep blue water. She could recall dreaming about eyes that were so intense and so utterly amazing as his. Could it possibly be that Jareth was the one whom she had longed to find?
Jareth caught her face in his hands and gently lifted her chin upwards. He then ran his hands through her thick hair, pulling it back over her shoulders. He smiled and then bent down once again. His breath rushed over her neck as he kissed it gently, sending shivers to run up and down her spine and her hair to stand on end.
"I love you," she whispered into his ear.
Jareth closed his eyes, resting his head against her. He could not go any further. She could not love him and live her life the way she was destined to. He was taking advantage of her weakened state, but he was helpless to stop himself. Jareth kissed her again, feeling her shiver against him.
Jareth gazed into her eyes for the briefest moment. She wanted him to respond, to say that he felt the same way. It would take him ages to truly tell her just how he felt. For she was the world to him, a goddess whom he was lucky enough to touch, to kiss, even for the shortest time. He would rather destroy his own life a million times over than to see her shed a single salty tear. Her sadness and pain struck him in his very soul, injuring him as no disease nor weapon ever could.
Instead of saying anything he kissed her trembling lips with a burning passion. His entire being tingled with a love that would never die, a feeling of being with someone so right, a soul mate. He kissed her with a hunger that would never be satiated unless he was allowed to keep her for
the rest of time, in his arms, as his queen. Yet, that would never happen.
She returned the kisses, savoring each moment they drew closer and closer to each other. She never wanted to leave. She could stay in that exact spot, that exact moment for the rest of time, if she could. His mouth traced a path over her jaw, causing a line of fire to burn into her
tingling skin. She wanted him to not leave her, to stay with her through the rest of the quest. This was the life she wanted, the love she wanted. Never would she find another man who aroused this burning in her soul, this desire in her heart.
Jareth backed away, leaving her feeling alone and frightened. He was breathing hard, a wild gleam had taken over his eyes. She looked at this and realized just how close he was to completely losing control over his emotions. They were new to him and could not be taken so quickly. Sarah didn't care about his caution. She didn't care about anything except for being near him, feeling his heartbeat racing along beside her own. She stepped towards him, but he stepped back.
"I must leave, my love," he said in between deep breaths.
Sarah was hurt. She did not expect him to leave her alone. Didn't he understand that they could live happily on Earth and let the Underground perish? It was the Underground's time to die. Everything died. However, would Jareth be able to survive on her world? Could he make it in a land where people are not immortal and he would be forced to feel his body dying around his soul? She did not know, but doubted that he could survive too long. She knew that she couldn't put him through that pain and agony. She would rather lose him than do that.
Jareth opened the drapes that covered the window and glanced back towards her one last time. Sarah bit her lip, knowing that he meant to leave her now. She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around his body. She pressed her face against his back and held him to her.
"Please," she begged.
Jareth turned and held her close to him one last time. He brought her chin up so that he might look her into her deep chocolate eyes. They sparkled with new tears, but she would not allow them to fall, not again. He smiled and then gently pushed her away from him just enough to allow him to leave.
"I will wait for you in my castle, dearest Sarah. Do not worry, for I will watch you and a piece of me shall always be by your side through this quest," he explained with a smile.
Sarah returned it, happy for the first time in ages. She could not remember a time when life felt so right and so marvelous. She had lived outside of real life for so long, always staying in her daydreams. Now she was finally granted the chance to experience love, even though it was towards a man whom she had thought an enemy for most of the six years she had known him.
It didn't matter because now she knew the truth, that he loved her as well.
"I'll hurry back," she replied as a flourish of shattered gems and crystals surrounded the man whom she loved.
His body faded away in the cloud of glitter-like material and reappeared as the white owl. He flew through the window, offering Sarah a single glance back to her. His eyes, which were now black, still held the intense light that she loved so much and found only in his. It was part of the magic that surrounded Jareth and his world. It was one of the things that she loved so much.
She brushed past the scatter of sparkles and gazed out the window. High overhead the white owl swooped through the sky as he rode a breeze. He was so graceful as he glided by, on his way to his castle where she would meet him in a few short days. Her heart soared with the owl as she observed his graceful, fluid movements. He held a part of her heart in his hands and
brought it with him back to the castle. Only when she was with him was she whole.
Sarah tore herself away from the open window only when she could no longer see the faintest glimmer of white in the sky. She placed her hand to her chest, her heart still beating at a quickened pace. She would have never guessed that she could feel so wonderful and so sad at the same time. Her whole being ached with a sadness that would not be extinguished until she
was in his arms once again. Yet, she was just happy to know that things had finally worked out and all of her questions about Jareth had been answered when he had kissed her so tenderly.
Sarah felt as if she was in a dream, a dream where nothing would ever go wrong. She was the brave heroine and Jareth was her gallant prince. She was living one of her fairy tales, just like she had always wished she could. Sarah seemed to float across the ground to the door and swung it open.
Thesper sat on one of the chairs. He immediately rose to his feet, frightened that Jareth would return with a vengeance. Yet, the man was not there, only the girl. He wondered what had happened, but it would be dangerous to ask. Thesper certainly did not want to anger the Goblin King anymore. He had had enough terror for a lifetime.
"Are you all right, Sarah?" he asked with genuine concern.
She nodded briefly, still very much in her own thoughts and sat upon the chair beside him. She gazed out the open window, thinking about returning to the castle and what she would do once she got there.
Yet, she was not left in peace for long. A ripping sound covered the entire house and attacked her tender eardrums. She covered her ears and cringed at the sound. Sarah closed her eyes tightly, fighting away the driving pain it emitted, like someone scratching their nails across a blackboard, but a hundred times louder. She just knew that she would go mad if it continued.
"Thesper!" she cried wildly.
There was no answer. How could he possibly call to her over this noise? She doubted if he even heard her. Sarah would have to wait it out. Perhaps, she would go mad. That would just be her luck. She had only just found love and then was driven from her mind. It sounded like a story she might have read ages ago. Perhaps it had been a cheap romance. It didn't matter.
The noise died away as suddenly as it had started. She relaxed her clenched jaw and brought her head back up. Sarah flipped her eyes open and was immediately granted with a sight that very nearly caused her heart to stop. She dropped her hands from her ears and hung her mouth open. Sarah eyes took in the surroundings in a few jerking movements.
It was horrible. The entire cottage had turned into stone all around her. Thesper still sat upon the chair, a stone statue himself. That magic had finally begun to show its disease in more places than simply trees. She could not believe it, but there it was, before her eyes.
Sarah rose to her feet and grabbed her pack from the ground. The elves crystal had died, leaving them vulnerable to the failing magic. There was nothing more that she could do. She walked to the window, knowing that the door would not budge since it had turned to stone and molded into the wall. She paused to glance back at the man who had taken her and Jareth in and offered them beds in which to rest . She smiled, feeling guilty and sad for the man who now sat there, staring forever out the window.
"Thanks," she stated simply.
There was no reply from Thesper, for now he too was set in cold, gray stone.