DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.
Bailey: Thompson, what the hell did you do?
Meredith: I sprained my ankle. It's fine.
Bailey: You can do SCUT.
Meredith: I'm fine!
Bailey: So you'll be fine, doing SCUT. (Meredith groaned and walked away.)
Bailey gave out assignments to everyone. Alex was still being a slave for Debbie. He was getting tired of it, and the more he complained, the worse it got. Meredith hated doing SCUT, she was a surgical intern, she wanted to cut. Meredith was working on some patient files when Derek walked up with something in his hand. She busted out laughing.
Derek: What?
Meredith: Nice tape! (She continued to laugh.) Is your nose OK?
Derek: I'm OK. How's your ankle?
Meredith: It's OK. A little sore, but I'm fine.
Derek: (Hands her the sweater.) Here, I'm sorry.
Meredith: It's just a sweater.
Derek: From what Addison tells me, it's a very expensive sweater.
Meredith: Yes, but still a sweater. Maybe I'll wear it on Halloween.
Derek: This is why I love you. So what are you assigned to today?
Meredith: Bailey has me doing SCUT.
Derek: Have fun with that. She gave me Stevens, so I don't have anything for you.
Meredith: I'm sure I'll survive! (He walks away.)
Meredith was getting pretty hungry considering she didn't have any breakfast. She decided to shove the sweater in her locker and go outside and get a muffin or something to eat. She had gotten most of her work done, so Bailey couldn't really complain. She was just sitting down with her coffee and muffin when her cellphone rang. It was John.
Meredith: Hey.
John: Hey. How are you? You rushed out this morning.
Meredith: I'm fine. I didn't want to be late. Besides I'm trying to take a page from Cristina's book and snag the good cases before anyone else gets here. So how was the trip?
John: It was OK. I had to hire a nurse to stay with Mom. She isn't going to last much longer. I went to visit her right before I left and she was adamant that she didn't want us there.
Meredith: Even dying she's stubborn as hell!
John: She'll be OK. I'm going to miss her, but it will be OK. I have you.
Meredith: (Sighing.) Yeah.
John: Speaking of you. Your deadline is up.
Meredith: What deadline?
John: The big one. You know, what are you going to do with the rest of your life. That one.
Meredith: Oh yeah.
John: Seriously.
Meredith: Tomorrow.
John: Tomorrow?
Meredith: (Dreading saying it out loud.) Yep, tomorrow. I will reveal my big choice tomorrow. Joe's 7:30pm. How's that sound?
John: Should I be worried?
Meredith: (Laughs.) Goodbye, John.
John: See you tonight.
Meredith felt nauseous. Tomorrow was the day. The day that she was going to crush John. She might as well put his heart in a blender, and then pour it out and stomp on it. She knew he would be devastated. It was humane this way. At least they wouldn't be stuck together, unhappily ever after. Maybe he would meet someone she told herself. He was a catch, any woman would be more than lucky to have him. Just not her.
Meredith ate her muffin and made her way back into the hospital. She needed to get her mind off of everything. She had to get on a case, it didn't matter what it was. She started grabbing more files when Addison Sloan walked up.
Addison: How's the ankle?
Meredith: So you heard?
Addison: Yeah. Derek did a good job on his nose.
Meredith: Yeah he did! So do you have anything I can do? Bailey has me doing SCUT. I will take anything!
Addison: Well, what I have isn't too...
Meredith: Anything!
Addison: Come with me.
Meredith and Addison get into the patients room. The patient, Sandra is crying. Meredith didn't know what exactly was going on, but it was a case, so who cared.
Addison: OK, Sandra, we are going to induce labor. I'm really going to need you to push.
Sandra is crying heavily. She didn't have anyone there with her. No family, no friends. Meredith walked over and placed her hand on her shoulder. Sandra began to push. Finally it dawned on Meredith why Sandra was crying. She had been in this position herself. Meredith's eyes began to mist up. Her palms started to sweat, and she began to tremble. Addison gave Meredith a reassuring look. I'm OK. I'm OK. You can do this. You have to be professional.She tried so hard, but she couldn't do it. The memories came back like a movie in slow motion. Time slowed down. She felt like she was underwater. She began to sob. She was sobbing harder than Sandra. At one point Sandra looked up at her like she was crazy. She couldn't do it. She couldn't see the baby, she couldn't see the child, much like her own, come into this world without a sound. She couldn't watch a life end before it began. Meredith dropped her crutches and ran out of the room. She didn't speak, she didn't give Addison a reason. Meredith ran to the nearest supply room. Alex was walking by as Meredith sprinted past him. He saw the shocked look on Addison's face. Alex went into the room and helped Addison, although she didn't really need it. After it was done, Addison let Sandra hold the baby and she pulled Alex outside.
Addison: What the hell is wrong with Dr. Thompson? She was fine, then she just lost it. She was crying harder than the patient.
Alex: (Nonchalantly.) Probably because she lost her own kid.
Addison: What? Where did she go?
Alex: The supply closet at the end of the hall.
Addison: You stay here. (Addison quickly walked towards the supply closet and opened the door. Meredith wasn't crying a hard, but she had her knees up to her chin.) Meredith. I'm sorry. I know how you feel. (She sits down next to Meredith.)
Meredith: Really, Addison, really? So you know what it's like to get pregnant with the love of your life's child? You know what it's like to not want the baby, and wish you were never pregnant? To resent this child? And then after you carry this life inside of you you begin to love her, unconditionally. You talk to her, tell her how much you love her. Then one day you don't feel her move. You go to the hospital and find out that she has no heartbeat. She's dead. And you would also know what it's like to give birth to her without a sound. Instead of crying, all you hear is silence. And then you hold her. This perfect angel, who looks just like her daddy. And of course you would know what it's like to see the pain that her daddy feels. And then you go home, without her. You walk out, and she comes out in a bag. And of course you get to pick out the tiny little casket. So Addison, I really don't think you know what it's like!
Addison: No, I guess I don't. I'm so sorry, Meredith. I had no idea. (She embraces her.) I would have never put you in that position.
Meredith: (Crying.) I thought I could handle it. I really did. All I had to do was make it through, and I would be healed. I'm sorry Addison.
Addison: It's not your fault! What was her name?
Meredith: Bella. Bella Ellis Thompson. John picked her name. He was so happy when he found out I was pregnant. All he ever wanted to be was be a father.
Addison: I'm sorry, sweetie. (Meredith calmed down.)
Meredith: Who told you? About Bella? (She couldn't think of anyone who knew. She didn't remember telling Derek.)
Addison: Karev. I asked him.
Meredith: How did he know? No one knows! (She was getting angry.)
Addison: I don't know, sweetie. (Meredith gets up. She is going to find out how he knows.)
Meredith: Thank you, Addison. (She walks out., and heads straight to Alex and grabs his arm.) Who told you?
Alex: What?
Meredith: How did you know, about the baby?
Alex: Izzie found a box in your house. We all saw it, Izzie, George, Cristina and I.
Meredith: So you went through my things?
Alex: (Shrugged his shoulders. She begins to walk away.) Oh yeah, Dr. Shepherd saw it too. (He wanted to get him in trouble. He was still mad at Derek. Meredith walked off seeing red. She completely forgot about her ankle.)
Meredith: How could they? That was private. I would never go through someone else's things! (She catches up with Izzie, who is walking down the hall.) How could you! I thought you were my friend!
Izzie: What? Are you OK?
Meredith: You went through our things, our personal things.
Izzie: What are you talking about?
Meredith: The box. (Izzie was shocked. Who told her?)
Izzie: I'm sorry, it was an accident. It fell. I was getting a box of papers to fax to John and it fell.
Meredith: So you look through it? The most painful thing in my life, and you look thorough it; show it to everyone!
Izzie: It wasn't like that. I was alone. They walked in. I thought it would help, maybe I could understand what you were going through.
Meredith: You will never understand!
Izzie: Maybe if you didn't keep so many secrets, we wouldn't have to snoop around! (Meredith is taken aback.) I mean everything we know about you, we found out on accident. John, your mother, your baby, and whatever the hell happened with Ray. You live in a freaking well of guilt, Meredith. (A visitor walks by. Meredith stops him.)
Meredith: Excuse me, Sir. (He stops.) Hi, I'm Meredith Grey. I'm married. I had a stillborn child. My mother is a world famous surgeon. I was sexually harassed by her boyfriend when I was a kid. Oh yeah, and I'm having an affair on my husband with a world class surgeon! (He walks away like she's crazy.) How's that Iz? I will just start telling everyone my life story. (Derek walks up.)
Derek: What's going on? I heard yelling.
Meredith: YOU! (Shakes her head.) All of you, what the hell is wrong with you people? (She storms off and passes Dr. Bailey.) I need to go home.
Bailey: (Sees that she is upset.) OK. See you tomorrow.
Derek: What the hell happened?
Izzie: Someone told her about us looking through the box. The one with the baby things in it.
Derek: Us? I didn't look in the box. I told you to put it away. Crap! This is just freaking great.
Izzie: It was Alex, I just know it.
Meredith was shocked. She was upset. Most of all with Derek. How could he? She trusted him. She felt like her insides were exposed all over the table. Everyone was just walking up and taking a glance. They should have never opened the box. Izzie could have just put it away. Meredith never even look in the box. She couldn't. She looked at her phone. Derek had called 3 times and left voicemail. She didn't even listen to them. She deleted them. When she pulled into the garage she saw John's car there. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him. But he was always there for her. He would have never betrayed her this way. Derek crossed the line.
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This day is still not over! Hopefully I will have more up tonight.