It was late at night, and silence filled the compartments on the train we we were traveling on. The moon was bright that night, and I sat with my legs crossed, my journal on my lap. I was entertaining myself by drawing everything I could see. I had already filled the small journal a quarter of the way with little doodles.

Across from me, the two Tringhams were sleeping deeply, Russel with his head resting to the side on the train bench and Fletcher sprawled across his lap. Russel's hand was resting lightly on Fletcher's chest, which was rising and falling gently as he slept. Barret was snoring softly to my left, his face pressed against the window, causing his breath to create a little circle of mist every time he exhaled. His face relaxed when he slept, making him look not quite so serious.

I was currently working on a doodle of the two boys across from me, but unfortunately for them, my drawing skills consisted of crude cartoons that were barely recognizable as humans. When I finished my sketch, I amused myself by adding several sparkles…and then I gave them cat ears..and then I looked over at Barret's face and wondered how mad he would get if I drew a mustache on him…

I sighed. It really was boring being the only one who couldn't sleep. I kind of missed the crazy dreams I used to have, which never failed to prove that my imagination was twisted. Now, I just waited for everyone else to wake up every day, and without Alphonse to keep me company, it was actually quite depressing.

But I wasn't feeling very depressed at that moment. No, I was content. I was surrounded by friends and on my way to see the man who trained me and became my de-facto uncle at the same time. That and we were going to go to the Winter Festival, which I had not been able to enjoy when I worked at the Plaid Skirt because that had been our busiest time.

Even though it meant leaving my brothers behind, I was glad I was taking this little vacation. I wasn't feeling the pressure of completing a mission, we weren't after any crazy people who needed to be stopped, and I wasn't being chased down by a serial killer. At least I'm pretty sure I wasn't. I hoped Edward and Alphonse got a bodyguard of their own, just in case…

I finished up my sketch of Fletcher as a golden retriever by drawing a little heart with a smiley face next to him, and then put down my pen. Huh, that one was actually pretty good…I sighed again and looked out the window. It would be about another four hours till dawn, and then we would be arriving in Dublith sometime mid-morning. This train ride was dragging on forever…

I gazed at the moon absently. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the last of the red faded from my eyes, leaving the clear green they were meant to be.

"Ugh," I moaned suddenly, as a sharp pain radiated from my chest, causing me to jump. I clutched at my shirt as it suddenly felt like someone repeatedly punched me in the sternum. I grit my teeth, about to cry out, but a split second later, the pain was gone. I blinked, bewildered. What was that?

I didn't have long to wonder however, because a second wave of pain gripped me a moment later, causing me to double over with a grimace. "hnnnnnn," I moaned quietly, trying to ride out the pain without alarming my companions. The second wave was a bit longer, but then it too ended. I sat up slowly, dazed. Wha? I lifted my shirt and looked down at my flat chest, but there was nothing there, no indication of injury. I ran my hand over myself but felt no flaws.

My mouth dried up an instant later as I was gripped by a sudden intense craving, and I jerked back against the bench, completely nonplussed. It wasn't hunger. No, it didn't feel like it had anything to do with my stomach, but it was as if there was this sudden aching need that I had to fulfill, but I had absolutely no idea what I had to do to make it better.

"What the hell," I whispered in the quite compartment. I shifted uncomfortably and waited but the pain never returned and the craving never went away. I sat there tensed for several minutes, willing myself to go back to normal, but gave up quickly. I leaned back and put a hand over my face in annoyance. Just another thing, another problem. I could never catch a break. I wished desperately that someone would just explain to me what was going on instead of having to struggle, always struggle, to figure it out myself.

But no matter how hard I wished, the feeling didn't leave me, and no mysterious benefactor showed up with answers. I sighed and stood. Maybe it was time for a little distraction.

o-0-o

A few hours later, and I was freezing cold. It was flipping freezing up here! But I couldn't deny that I was enjoying myself greatly. I was sitting atop the train car, the wind whipping around me as we traveled well over a hundred miles an hour, and watching the sunrise. We were passing an arid landscape with sparce foliage on a flat plane in every direction. The sun was just rising over the horizon in a brilliant array of pinks and purples in the clear sky, and the light was reflecting off the land in a brilliant orange, the few plants on the land casting long shadows. It was ethereal.

The early winter wind was biting into my flesh painfully, but I ignored it. I highly doubted it would be damaging to me. There were very few things that could hurt me anymore…and besides that, it was distracting me from that weird craving, which had settled down into a constant dull ache. I wondered how long I would have to deal with it, or what it even was. I remembered I had felt like that after Xenotime, but this time it was a lot stronger.

I distractedly brushed aside a lock of hair that was fluttering in my eyes and concentrated on watching the beautiful sunrise. It was like nothing I had ever seen in my own world. Not because it was particularly special, or this landscape was unique. No, there were many places like this on my earth. It was just that I had never taken the time to travel in my past life. I never stepped foot out of my tiny existence within my tiny circle of loved ones. I had been so ignorant of the world back then, never taking chances. I was never timid, no, I just never felt the need to be anywhere else than where I was. Now that I technically had no home to return to, I felt strangely free. Although, I thought to myself ruefully, I was only afforded this freedom because Edward made so much money as a state alchemist. I seriously doubted I could have this lifestyle if I was on my own. I resolved to tell him just how much I appreciated what he did for us when I saw him next…That was, if he didn't eject me from the Elric clan for what I did…My heart panged sharply.

"What the hell are you doing up here," Barret suddenly shouted over the wind, snapping me out of my reverie. I turned to see him climbing out of the hatch behind me with a deep frown on his face. He stood to his full height, stumbling from the intensity of the wind, and clutched at his arms. He sneezed. "It's damn cold, and I find you sitting on top of the train like an idiot." Despite his words, he walked towards me and sat at my side, hunching down against the wind.

For several minutes, he stared out into the sunrise with me, the pale winter sun providing little warmth as it rose. He was stoic, but I could see that his lips were turning blue. I was probably looking frightful myself…I sighed and stood, stumbling slightly as my numb limbs protested at taking my weight. I shook them out. Barret stood beside me with a slight look of relief, and the two of us climbed back into the train.

The warmth hit me like a solid wall, and suddenly all of my limbs were burning in protest as the blood began to recirculate. sitting up there for hours was probably not a good idea after all…

I rubbed my arms vigorously as we made our way back to our booth. As soon as we rounded the corner, however, I was immediately engulfed by a warm pair of arms, almost burningly hot after the cold. Instantly, I was a bit overwhelmed by worry and a healthy dose of affection from a certain blonde boy. "Alex! Where have you been!? Oh my god, you are so cold!" Fletcher babbled into my ear, holding onto me tightly.

"Oh my goodness," I said, surprised. He pulled back and frowned at me, almost pouting.

"We woke up and you were gone! We were worried!"

I rubbed his hair affectionately with a tingling hand. "You are so sweet." The boy blushed cutely and swiped at my hand. I pulled back with a smile.

Behind him, Russel was standing with his arms crossed. He raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged, an innocent look on my face. He grimaced and then sighed. "Come here, we've got some warm soup for breakfast."

"All right~!" I cheered.

o-0-o

Nostalgia hit me as I stood outside of the Plaid Skirt. Seeing the old wooden bar again made me almost feel like none of the past two years had happened and I was still working as a bartender, training day in and day out. Barret stood behind me, a blank expression on his face. The Tringhams were nowhere to be seen, as they had parted from us at the station to go find themselves lodging for the night.

"So, it's been how long since you've been here?"

"Hmm…about seven years, I think," he said.

I whistled low. "Damn. If I didn't see my father for over a year, he would send the marines after me." I amused myself by imagining the entire United States forces tearing apart the country to find me just because I missed Sunday lunch. I smiled sadly. They had probably given up on me by now…assuming I was even still alive on the other side…

"Let's just get this over with," Barret said grimly, as if we were going to do a military raid rather than see his estranged father.

I nodded and headed for the door. The little bell tinkled as we entered and I looked around. Yup, it was just like I left it. It was empty, as it was still only midmorning, and the tables were polished clean, the chairs resting on top of them.

A deep snoring could be heard in the quiet room, and I spotted my master Orkan sleeping on the bar, his head hanging off the side and his body sprawled out on the polished surface. Several dirty glasses littered the counter beside him.

"And right where I left you…" I mumbled to myself in amusement. Nothing had changed at all.

I wondered vaguely how I should wake the old man up, but Barret beat me to the punchline. He strode over to the counter and kicked it hard enough to shake the whole bar. "Wake up, you damn old man, and greet your son!"

Orkan snorted loudly and slipped off the bar, falling hard on the floor. I guffawed loudly while Barret watched impassively.

The wiry old man was back on his feet in an instant, looking around with a dazed expression. "What! What! Where's the fire!"

"Are you blind? I knew you were getting old, but this is ridiculous."

Orkan straightened up rigidly and glanced between me and his son what narrowed eyes. "So, the prodigal son has returned," He growled. "I thought I told you not to come back until you had a wife, you damn ungrateful kid."

"You were never married in the first place, you hypocritical old bastard."

I stood silently with my mouth agape as I watched literal sparks fly between the two men. If I had known they hated each other, I would have left Barret with the Tringhams! They bowed up to each other, looking eerily similar now that I saw them together, and I was starting to wonder if I should intervene before blood was shed, when Orkan suddenly laughed loudly and ruffled Barret's hair.

"Gah! Dad!" Barrett exclaimed, swiping at Orkan's hand.

"Welcome home, kid," Orkan said in his growly voice. Barret shrugged and folded his arms, a small smile on his face for all he tried to scowl.

"Didn't really have a choice. I'm guarding short stuff over there."

Orkan looked over in my direction, giving me a once-over. "You need protection now? Don't tell me you stopped training after you left. Did you become a weakling or something?"

"Of course not!" I bristled. "In fact, I'm way stronger than you now, you decrepit old bastard."

"Heh, we'll see." He grinned, taking in my appearance. "You should know, though, I don't fight little girls."

"What! I'm gone for two years and that's all you have to say to me!? Where's the love?" I pouted.

Orkan grunted and walked over to stand in front of me. "You've gotten taller, brat."

I dropped my pout and grinned. "Nah, you're just getting shorter." He smacked me on the head, and I yelped, complaining loudly.

"Gear up, both of you. I want to see how much you've grown."

Barret cracked his knuckles. "I'll kill you this time, you old bastard."

"I'd like to see you try, brat."

They exchanged banter and shoved at each other as they exited though the back door, leaving me alone in the silent bar. I gulped. He wanted me to fight him. I looked down at my hands. When I'm like this? I could really hurt him. Orkan called my name obnoxiously from outside, and I took a deep breath. I guess I'd better just be honest and tell him that I can't.

I walked out of the bar…and was treated with one of the most stunning displays of martial arts I had ever witnessed. Orkan and Barret were like a blur of movement as they exchanged blows furiously. They looked like a set of matched blades as they moved in an almost identical fashion, as if they knew every move the other was going to make.

Their fight moved across the training field, as they swiped, kicked and dodged each other's blows. For several minutes, as I watched breathlessly, they seemed evenly matched. But it didn't last. Barret might have been stronger and younger than his father, but he could not match the wily old man in technique. Seven minutes into the fight, and Orkan swept the feet out from under the younger man and then shoved him down, sending him sprawling. He finished it with a kick to the throat that he stopped only at the last second, a 'kill blow' to end the fight.

A stalemate held as the two men regained their breaths, not moving and only staring at each other. Then Barret dropped his head to the ground and groaned in defeat. "You wouldn't have won if we were sparring with swords," he grumbled.

Orkan chuckled and helped his son to his feet. "Keep making excuses like those, and you'll never beat me."

Barret grumbled as he brushed himself off. He muttered under his breath as he stalked to the edge of the field and sat down, looking at me expectantly.

Orkan gestured for me to come over, and I walked slowly, my nervousness growing with every step. The old man cracked his neck and loosened his arms before stepping into an easy fighting stance. I did not move.

"Well?" The old man said irritably.

"I can't fight you."

Orkan straightened up and crossed his arms. "Why the hell not!"

Hmm. How did I explain this without making it seem like I thought he was weak? I glanced around and spotted a sizable rock a few yards away. I picked it up. "Because I don't know the limits of my strength," I said honestly. And I didn't, because I hadn't even tried to find out.

"Sounds stupid to me," Orkan grouched, but he fell into a stunned silence a second later when I hefted the ten pound rock and threw it as hard as I could. It soared, almost faster than the eye could see 200-no, 250-yards and slammed into the tree at the corner of the training field with a loud crack. I winced and glanced over to Orkan, who was standing with his mouth agape.

"Well, I'll be damned. What the hell have you been eating?"

"Spinach," I quipped, but grimaced as the tree fell over with a sharp report and fell right on top of Orkan's fence. "Sorry, I'll fix that," I said.

From across the yard, I could hear Barret clapping slowly, looking impressed. I sent him a glare.

Orkan cleared his throat. "Yeah, I don't think a spar is a good idea after all. I'll probably end up dead."

I winced. "You aren't going to ask me why I'm so strong?"

Orkan shrugged. "Nope." I gave him a strange look. He was taking this all rather well. I don't know what I had been expecting, but this immediate acceptance and distinct lack of curiosity wasn't it.

"Um…ok." I shuffled my feet awkwardly.

"Spit it out, twerp."

"Um, well I was wondering if you could help me learn my limits. You know, like you did when you trained me the first time." I looked up hopefully.

Orkan scratched his chin, considering the tree that I had felled. "I don't really know if I can." He said slowly. "There are plenty of training regimes that help you with control, but your case may be a little too extreme for that kind of thing…" I slumped and gave him my best puppy dog eyes and he sighed, turning his blue eyes to the sky. "I guess what we can do first is test the limits of your strength."

I perked up and gave him a huge smile. "I knew I could count on you!" I jumped forward and gave him a hug, being very careful to squeeze very lightly.

"Ack! Your breaking my ribs you damn brat!"

o-0-o

Five hours later I fell, finally, blessedly exhausted as I sat in the ruin I had created. We had moved into a canyon on the fringe of town to test my abilities where no one could get hurt and no one could see. Orkan and Barret had sat at the top of one of the cliffs to watch. It wasn't remotely helpful for them to be there, as they could only shout advice about what to destroy next (which they did with varying degrees of boyish excitement), but I felt comforted by my master's presence none-the-less. It was silly, I knew, but for some reason I felt that without my master's –permission? acceptance?– I could not truly test myself without fear. I guess I had just been feeling so out of control lately that what I really wanted was guidance, the feeling of someone watching over me as I tested my new wings. And when I finally had that, I was able to really let go.

The first thing I had done when we reached the canyon was punch a tree. Which was really fucking stupid, because although the tree had splintered and fell with a startling crack, the wood shards had pierced my skin and broke my hand. I screamed, but the pain only lasted for a few short seconds before I healed in a flash of red light. I stood there shaking. "Idiot," I said, rubbing my hand. So my healing powers were still powerful as well as my strength, but I didn't have super strong skin or anything. So, no punching hard stuff. I explained my predicament to Orkan and he nodded, seeming unfazed by my healing. He jogged back to the bar, which was only about a mile and a half away, and came back with a pair of iron gloves. I slipped them on, testing their weight. They were reinforced at the knuckles with rounded studs and they clasped around my wrists. I flexed them, feeling the give. The metal was acid green, like my tonfa, and on the iron plating on the back of the fist was a carving of Orkan's sign, the symbol of the hurricane. I rolled my eyes. God, that man was vain. I turned back to the canyon with a wild grin and did my best to do my master's name justice.

After a while, I truly began enjoying myself. I was just so strong! I felt unstoppable as I was stymied by nothing but the largest boulders and the strongest trees. It was exhilarating, and I laughed out loud as I was able to jump from one side of the cliff to another, as if I was flying.

I was shocked out of it, however, when I grabbed a branch and it shattered under my hand. I had a violent flashback of Mugear's expression as I had shattered his arm in a similar fashion. I dropped it in shock, my heart pounding, as I was reminded that I wasn't doing this for fun. I had to learn my limits so that I could control myself from something like that ever happening again. I grit my teeth and tore into the tree.

Several hours later I finally collapsed, tired for the first time since I had ingested the first red water. I smiled. Maybe I would be able to sleep if I just exhausted myself first. That would be nice.

Orkan and Barret jogged up to me. My master whistled low. "Wow, kid, you are some force of nature. Great show."

I snorted, too tired to respond.

"So, do you think you know your limits now?"

I shrugged, leaning back. The gloves clanked slightly. "I'm not one hundred percent confident, but it helped. Now that I know how much I can let go, I have to figure out how to hold back."

"Hm…well, that sounds like a problem for another day," he said, waving his hand in the air. "I'm starving."

Barret hummed in agreement. He glared down at me. "You're eating too, mutant. Two servings."

"Alright, mum," I said. He whacked me in the head, but I could feel that he was only amused.

I collapsed back onto the rock. "You two go, I'll catch up with you in a minute. I've got to catch my breath."

The two nodded and as one left me lying there on the ground. I sighed, content. I felt peaceful finally knowing my limits. Now I just needed control. My mind flashed back to Mustang's offer to train me. I would definitely be taking him up on that once I returned to Central.

I relaxed back onto the ground until my breathing evened out. I stared up into the darkening sky and with a sigh, I sat up. Time to head back…

I stood up…and then collapsed back down in agony when my chest stabbed painfully, causing me to completely lose my breath. I gasped and curled into a ball as crippling pain came in waves, as if someone had stabbed me in the chest and twisted.

"Aaannh," I groaned. For several seconds, I could only curl into myself and wait for it to pass. And then it did, disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. I gasped deeply, fear curling it's way through me. That pain, it was incredible, even more intense than the pain of breaking my hand or being stabbed. It was deep, as if my heart was tearing itself apart. Was that something that I would have to deal with for the rest of my life? Or was I actually dying? What was happening to me…!?

It took a few minutes, but I was finally able to calm down as the pain faded into a memory. I sat up and pinched the bridge of my nose, breathing deeply. My breath hitched as the intense craving came back with a vengeance and I grit my teeth. I growled. What!? What did I need that would make it go away!? A hysterical laugh bubbled up within me. I knew this was going to drive me insane if I couldn't find some way to ease it.

I don't know how long I sat there after that, but the sun disappeared behind the canyon and the world was thrown into darkness. Stars peaked their way into the sky and the moon rose, casting me in it's pale light. I shivered and stood. Cold…I walked back to the bar slowly.

o-0-o

I opened the door and walked into the warm bar, squinting in the bright light. I was enveloped in warm air and the murmur of voices of customers enjoying the night. It wasn't a full house just yet, but there were enough people to make the place jingle merrily.

"Alex, you're back!" I smiled as I saw Fletcher waving at me from across the room. He ran over to me and gave me a swift hug. "We came over to see if you wanted to…" He cut himself off and pulled back, crinkling his nose. "Ugh, you stink! what have you been doing?" I chuckled weakly.

"I've been training. That's what I cam here for after all."

"Oh, right. Well, take a bath and come eat dinner with us!" He smiled brightly. "This place doesn't actually serve food, but Barret invited brother and I to eat with you guys. He was like–" at that point Fletcher stepped back and made a serious face and said in a blank voice, "–'Might as well join us. The kid will get insufferable otherwise'." I laughed at his imitation of Barret. "Hurry up!" he said before running off again. Man that kid had a lot of energy. I trudged up the stairs and found the bathroom, closing the door behind me. My smile dropped.

I gazed at myself in the mirror. Green eyes. My chest twinged and I grimaced. I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water distract me. It was going to be another long night…The festival was tomorrow. Perhaps, with my friends surrounding me, I would feel a little more cheerful in the morning.

I would endure until I could finish my purpose here. Then I would get back to my brothers and figure out what the hell was going on. Some vacation this was turning out to be. No matter how far I ran, trouble seemed to find me. Of course, I thought despairingly, because you can't outrun yourself. Idiot.

And back to the drama. Ah, well, it couldn't last forever. That's alright, cuz I like drama too. Yay, Alex is super strong and starting to accept it! But what is with this intense pain and craving? Not telling. But you guys are smart, so you've probably figured it out by now.

Thanks for sending your love! I can't get by without it. No really, I would have stopped a long time ago if I thought you guys weren't interested anymore. So thank you, and please continue to support me!

Next Chapter: Pleasure, pain, truth and Lust.