A/N: Another long break! Sorry! But this one took me longer than expected. More of fixing bad/awkward ME3 conversations and timeline…and a fun plot twist because why not! :)

HERS and HIS

Tali and Legion were back in the War Room. So was a whole hell of a lot of shit. Shepard sat in the mess and pressed her hands against the sides of her head to try and thwart the impending headache. Another race, another set of conditions for their help in the war. Everyone seems so damn short-sighted. Now I have to help the quarians fight their own shitty war.

Kaidan had been staying with her in the Captain's Quarters for the few days since he rejoined the crew, but surprisingly, nothing sexual had happened between them. He saw the strain in her eyes when the full scale of what the quarians wanted hit her. He let her vent, he let her sleep. In all honesty, he himself wasn't up for being amorous either. So much of his time was spent tracking down his students, figuring out what his role really was on the Normandy, trying to find out anything about his parents…and then when he finally did…

He was staring out the large window in the starboard observation deck. He heard the door open and felt Shepard's presence. He didn't even need to look to know it was her. He sighed and started talking.

"It all seems so calm from here, but there are people going through hell in a million different ways out there." Her steps drew closer. "I want to be fighting alongside them, but…" He turned to look at Shepard. "I want to be here too."

"I'm glad you are," she said, wrapping her arm around his, "You are fighting alongside me, but you're thinking about something specific."

Kaidan's eyes were suddenly downcast. "I, uh, heard from my mom finally. My dad is…MIA. He's presumed…" His eyes betrayed a thousand emotions.

"What happened? I thought you said they had left Vancouver." she said quietly.

"They did. He left my mom at the cabin, and reported back for active duty. It's all she knew, but, well, it's enough. I hate that she's alone now in all of this."

"At least you know she is ok. I don't know where my mom is, and Dad is, well, the last time I talked to Hackett, he said my dad had been near the Charon relay when the Reapers came through. He was heading back to the Citadel, I guess. They blew through the First Fleet and his transport ship just happened to be there too. So I hope it helps to have some empathy."

He looked at her with a horrified expression. "Rachel, why didn't you tell me? I'm here all absorbed in my own personal hell and didn't even think about yours."

A bitter smile crossed her face. "You know I was never close to them…I was closer to Mordin and Thane. Hell, I was closer to your parents. I'll be fine," Shepard lied.

He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her forehead. "I know you will be. Somehow you always are, but we need to get some time away from this."

Shepard pulled away from him, looking incredulous. "Kaidan, we can't. The whole damn galaxy is at war. We can't just…leave."

"I'm not saying take off. I'm just saying…I want to have a proper date with you. You know we've never had one. Just dinner, next time we're at the Citadel, ok?"

Shepard relaxed a little. "Ok, fine. We'll do that. We have to help the quarians end their goddamn war with the Geth first." She closed her eyes and brought his hands up to her forehead. "We can get through this…" Kaidan thought she sounded like she was more talking to herself than him.

She put his hands down and smiled at him sadly. She felt she really was near her breaking point, but she couldn't lose it, not now, not in front of him. Walking away, she felt his eyes follow her and a piece of her wished that she could just leave the war behind.

x-X-x

Shepard didn't want to move. She had hardly moved since she got back on the Normandy. She was drowsy and she knew she had fallen asleep in her armor, but now it was sitting neatly by the couch and she was just in her thin protective undergarments. How long have I been out? She rolled over and moaned.

It had been a really shitty few days. She nearly was killed by the quarian fleet, ran through some Geth program, saved a quarian admiral, stared down a Reaper alone, and then watched Legion commit suicide for the betterment of his people. Now, both the quarians and the Geth were dedicated to fighting the Reapers. I wish I felt better about the whole thing. Her exhausted body drifted off again.

When Kaidan entered the room about an hour later, he saw Shepard sprawled on the bed. Her face was still etched with worry. He tried to gently move her to place her on a pillow, but she roused despite his care.

"Kaidan? What's going on?" she said sleepily.

"Just go back to sleep. We'll be at the Citadel in a few hours."

"A few hours? What the hell? We were at the Far Rim!"

"Rachel," he whispered, "you've been asleep for nearly two days."

"What?! How does anyone know what's going on?"

"I took command to let you rest. God knows you need it. Everything is fine. Chakwas was even ready to give you a sedative if you didn't sleep long enough. We're going to the Citadel to get supplies and we need to meet with the asari councilor. There will also be a mandated 36 hour shore leave. I doubt we'll have a chance again for a long while."

"You know I don't like being coddled," she growled.

Kaidan's voice was firm. "No one is coddling you. You've done a hell of a lot and you need to be at your best. You nearly fell apart over a Geth. We can't have you …" He stopped and sighed. "You don't need a lecture right now. The shore leave starts about 2 hours after we reach the Citadel. Meet me for our dinner then, ok? I'm going to take care of getting the supplies. You meet with the councilor."

Shepard fell asleep again after the door hissed shut behind Kaidan. She woke up again when she felt the engines power down. She knew they were at the Citadel. Finally rising from the bed, she moved quickly to shower and dress. Kaidan never said what kind of a place it was where we were meeting, so fatigues it is.

Arriving at Udina's office was disconcerting, but when she heard what the asari councilor was offering, Shepard was pleased. It took damn near long enough to get them behind us and actually help. Now to Thessia to get to that artifact.

A ping from her omni-tool alerted her to a message and navpoint.

KA: Rachel, when you are finished with the councilor meet me at the navpoint. I promised you a real date.

She followed the directions and soon was in an area of the Presidium that brought back a lot of memories. She was near that resort they had stayed at after she ditched her parents. As she approached the building, she remembered that there was a restaurant there, but she and Kaidan had never left their room.

She walked past the front desk toward the restaurant where Kaidan's navpoint was leading her. At the maître-d's stand she stopped. "May I help you?" the friendly salarian asked.

"Yeah, I'm meeting someone here. Maybe under Alenko?"

"Oh yes! Of course, right this way, ma'am." He led her past other diners and she was surprised by the opulence of the room. They approached a doorway that was closed. "Right in here, ma'am," the salarian motioned. "Enjoy your dinner," he said as he waved the door open. This room was even more extravagant than the last. It was also much smaller. Only a few tables were around, but each one was filled with vases of flowers. Shepard cocked an eyebrow at the spectacle. She had never been one for flowers and girly stuff.

As she rounded another table full of flowers, she saw the relatively empty table in the middle of the room. Kaidan stood there smiling dressed in a civilian suit and looking simply dashing. On the table sat a Geth pulse rifle.

"You knew I was jealous of Legion's gun, didn't you?"

"Tali and I both knew. This is Legion's gun. She wanted you to have it."

Shepard took the rifle and handled it gently like it was glass. "This really means a lot to me. Thank you, Kaidan."

Kaidan shook his head. "That wasn't from me." He pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit down. "I promised you a real dinner date, and that's what I plan on doing." He then sat beside her and a server brought several hors d'ourves, which Shepard began to pick at hungrily.

"How'd you pull this off? You can't get stuff like this very easily anymore."

"The resort was surprisingly accommodating to a Spectre, let alone two, but it's probably better not to ask how or where they get their supplies. I'm glad we're finally taking the time to do this. We could use a sanity check."

Shepard laughed. "What the hell does that mean?"

Kaidan looked serious. "It's been really crazy lately, and after I got hurt on Mars, I realized how little time I spent with people I actually care about. There weren't enough moments like this." He took her hand into his. "I'm glad that I convinced you for half a second to sit down and relax. I really didn't want to pull rank on you," Kaidan laughed.

"I guess you're right. We do need to decompress a bit."

"Exactly," Kaidan signaled for the server to return. "What are you drinking? If I remember right, that always seemed to loosen you up." He eyed her playfully.

"Well, I seem to remember a bottle of Peruvian whiskey I got you in the hospital. You hiding it from me?"

"I am. So?" Kaidan said as the waiter arrived.

Shepard looked at the asari directly. "I'd like a beer, whatever you've got, except batarian stuff. That just tastes like piss."

"And for you, sir?" the asari asked Kaidan.

"The same."

As the asari left, Kaidan turned back to Shepard. "You know…I don't remember the last time I actually went on a date…" He stopped abruptly, looking embarrassed.

"What? You remember?"

"Well, it was…the night I found out you were alive." His voice was soft.

"Oh," said Shepard thoughtfully. "If it makes you feel any better, I've never actually been on a date."

"Never?"

"Nope, never. Kind of makes me look bad, huh?"

Kaidan chuckled. "That's impossible. Just…easy." He winked at her.

"You son of a bitch! Easy?" Shepard said in mock offense as she smacked his arm. "I should throttle you right here!"

"That would only prove my point…It wouldn't be violent long." Kaidan's hand reached under the table to touch her thigh. Suddenly, Shepard remembered all the desire she had been holding back. It had been nearly 3 weeks since Kaidan came back and she didn't know why she hadn't even thought about making a move on him. He is still so damn sexy. I had that fine piece of ass in my bed and all I've done is sleep. I'm a failure as a woman.

Kaidan saw a look of what he thought was alarm cross her face when he touched her and he quickly withdrew his hand. "I'm sorry…I guess I thought we, um…" His face flushed red.

"Kaidan, how are you sleeping?" she said abruptly, trying not to let her own face flush. The asari returned with their drinks and Shepard quickly took a swig of her beer.

"What?" Confusion creased his face.

"I mean what I'm saying…I pass out every night. How are you sleeping?"

"Well, ok, I guess…maybe a little restless."

"It's my fault, isn't it? I try not to bother you with my nightmares," Shepard said regretfully.

Kaidan impulsively grabbed both of her hands. "It isn't that at all. It is you, but…"

"But what? You're the blanket hog," she smiled.

"I, um, still wonder about us. I've made a living at beating around the bush, but this isn't the time for that anymore. I love you, Rachel. I always have. I want to make it real again. Do you remember when we traded tags?"

"Yeah, I nearly cried when Liara gave me mine back."

"I've felt just as blessed…she brought you back into my life. Thinking about everything that's happening, caution isn't a luxury I can afford anymore." Shepard thought she saw uncertainty in usually calm, steady eyes. "I don't want to wonder about us anymore, Rachel. About whether or not we're going to end up together when this is all over. There's too much uncertainty in this universe as it is."

"So what are you getting at, Kaidan? You know that I've been yours all these years, even when you weren't mine."

"This is going to seem…sudden, but I can't imagine us doing this any other way." He pulled a box from his pocket and opened it to show a simple band with a few sparkling gems embedded in it.

"Rachel, I want you to be my wife. I don't know why or how, but you've become a part of my soul. I can't live this life without you." He pulled the ring from the box. "This ring, I had made just for you. It's a low profile so it won't catch on your armor and the metal doesn't interfere with biotics."

Shepard sat there for a second, taking it all in. Kaidan isn't one to do things spontaneously. How long ago had he been planning this? "Kaidan, I-I don't know what to say…"

"Before you say anything, let me finish. This isn't just a dinner date, or at least, it doesn't have to be. I contacted a priest, and he is waiting outside. Life is too short…too unpredictable. You say the word and we can do this right now."

"Oh my God…is this real? Are you serious?"

"Never more in my entire life." He fingered the ring nervously, waiting for her approval.

"Well…then yes." She offered her hand, and he slid the ring on her finger. Then Kaidan looked over toward a waiting asari and nodded slightly, and Shepard saw her leave the room.

Relief flooded Kaidan's features and he smiled broadly at her, bringing his hand up to tuck some hair behind her ear. "You have made me so happy. You ready for this?"

"I never thought I'd get married in fatigues," she giggled and was instantly annoyed at the sound of it.

"You won't. It's taken care of," Kaidan said. Shepard saw the asari reappear through the doorway, but she wasn't alone. She had two other asari with her.

"Please come with us," the first asari said, leading Shepard away into a side room. There were 3 dresses laid out, each of them appropriate for a wedding. "Choose one," another asari said. "We'll help you get dressed and properly adorned."

Shepard furrowed her brow and tried to decide. She didn't do dresses. So which one would Kaidan like the best? Each one had its own advantages, but Shepard finally settled on one. With one of the asari to help her, she took off her military garb and stepped into the dress. The material was delicate and flowing.

"Commander Shepard? We are so honored to be able to do this for you today! How surprised were you?" the third asari gushed as she made Shepard sit and began to fuss with her hair. "Is there any way you would prefer for me to fix your hair?"

"Um, yes, I've been very surprised, and no, I always have it back and up. Do what you want."

Shepard couldn't help but feel very uncomfortable as the three asari curled and painted and brushed until she couldn't recognize herself in the mirror. They cooed in unison as Shepard stood there, a critical eyebrow raised. I look like a goddamn hooker. Too much makeup, hair is too big… "I can't do this," Shepard said suddenly.

"What do you mean? You going to break his heart!" one asari cried out.

"No, there isn't enough hell in this universe that I wouldn't go through it for him…except this." She motioned at herself. "I'm just not one for all this frilly stuff. Please, just straighten my hair out and take off some of the makeup. It's too much."

The asari dutifully complied and when they finished, they turned her around and one said, "You look so beautiful. Have you ever considered a relationship with an asari? We're very accepting of mult-" She was quickly elbowed by her friend.

Shepard smiled and shook her head. "So now what? I guess I'm ready, right?"

The asari giggled to themselves and led Shepard back out into the room where Kaidan was waiting. He was now in his dress blues looking every bit the handsome soldier she fell for three years ago. A soft smile crept onto his face as he watched her approach. Just like that first time he smiled at me in the med bay.

Kaidan held his breath as she approached. Shepard's dress mostly ivory, but with two bands of purple that went from the bodice to the floor. It hugged her breasts gently then flowed to the floor with ease. Her hair was straight and smooth, and down like he liked it to be. He could tell she was uncomfortable and it made him chuckle. She has no idea how beautiful she is.

She looked from Kaidan to the drell priest and was surprised to see it was Thane's son, Kolyat. He nodded at her when he saw recognition in her eyes. "I didn't know that you were actually a priest," she said quietly as Kaidan took her hand.

"Well, after you stopped me from that assassination, my father and I talked. He encouraged me to find the ways of our ancestors. That is what I had been doing ever since. I am only an apprentice, but still endowed with the authority to marry," explained Kolyat.

Marry. Shepard and Kaidan looked at each other. With a hasty breath, Kaidan smiled and said, "Are you ready?"

"Nope," she smiled and took his other hand, "but I think you and I can become ready together."

They both looked at Kolyat, who then opened his prayer book and began to say a marital blessing. "Goddess Arashu, guide this pair on their journey as the separate lives they had are now entwined in a bond unbreakable. Goddess of Protection, bring them to a place of security in each other and the family they build together. Goddess of Motherhood, join these wandering souls to create a new piece of the universe, one that anchors the soul and lets the heart fly. As they speak their words, Arashu, may your strength endure with them." Kolyat looked up from his book. "It is now appropriate for you to speak your blessings and vows to each other."

Kaidan saw the fear in Shepard's eyes and he gave her hand a quick squeeze and began to speak. "Rachel, your life came crashing into mine almost literally. You have brought me the greatest joy and the deepest sorrow I have ever known. Now, that we have this second chance, I will not waste it. Your life is where I belong and it's what I will protect. I will help you know real love and build the family you never had."

Shepard took a shaky breath. Just open your mouth…you can't ruin it this time. He'll love whatever you say. "Kaidan, you were the last thing I was looking for in my life, but you changed me so completely that if I were ever without you…well, I don't know how you endured hell for two years." She smiled sadly as if in apology. "I thought I was broken after Horizon, but I felt real agony after Mars. I won't let that happen again. You are my foundation, and even if the Reapers tear the galaxy apart, my love for you will remain."

Kolyat smiled and spoke. "I've been told it is human custom to kiss at the end of the ceremony. So, how is it said? You may kiss the bride?"

Regardless of Kolyat's questioning on the phrase, Kaidan took Shepard's face in his hands, and leaning in, he kissed her. His heart clenched inside of him in joy and relief. I have waited so long for this, for her. His kiss was gentle and her lips were soothing.

"What did you call this?" Shepard asked, tears glistening in her eyes. "A sanity check?"

"Yeah," Kaidan laughed as he quickly wiped his own eye. "A sanity check."