I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all.

-Alexis de Tocqueville

Hawke was back.

Aveline hurried up the walk to the Hawke estate, relief and irritation churning through her. Bodhan gave her a respectful bow when he opened the door. "Guard Captain." Something in his expression had her guard up. "Lady Hawke is in the parlor with Serrah Merrill at the moment."

As he stepped aside to let her in, she heard raised voices from upstairs. She looked at Bodhan questioningly. The dwarf's face was carefully composed but there was a disapproving look in his eyes. "She was talking to Messier Dumar when Serrah Merrill...well, she burst into the house before I could stop her, honestly."

Aveline's eyes widened. "The Viscount is here?"

"Oh, no, no, Guard Captain. Messier Saemus Dumar."

"So he already knows," Aveline murmured.

"Guard Captain?"

"Nothing. Well, I'm afraid I'll have to interrupt Merrill. I know the way." She strode toward the stairs.

"Right. I'll...um...get another pot of tea." Bodhan hurried off toward the kitchens and hoped the fireworks were over by the time he got back.

Aveline paused just outside the parlor door, frowning a bit. She could definitely hear Merrill's voice, sounding almost hysterical. She could make out something about a...knife? Shaking her head, Aveline pulled the door open without knocking, scowling as she took the scene in. Hawke was seated in a wingback chair with Merrill glaring down at her, fists clenched. Saemus Dumar was standing off to the side, looking embarrassed. His expression sharpened when he recognized her.

Yes, he knew.

"I'm in perfect control, Hawke. I told you I'd be more careful from now on!" Merrill must have been very upset indeed if she was talking about such things, heedless of Saemus' presence.

"You didn't tell me one of your people was tainted by that mirror." Hawke's voice was low and tight, her eyes narrowed into slits. "And after what happened on Sundermount, it makes me wonder what other things you've been hiding about that thing."

"The Keeper was overreacting. We don't know what actually happened to Tamlen! Spreading word that I was putting the clan at risk of the Taint is what got Pol killed!" There was an ugly undertone in Merrill's voice Aveline didn't like at all. With her behavior, sometimes it was easy to forget she practiced blood magic. "It's an heirloom of my clan, Hawke. My people!"

"And yet the Keeper gave it to me rather than let you have it."

Merrill actually jerked back like Hawke had slapped her, a stricken expression on her face.

Aveline decided this was as good a place as any to interrupt. "Ladies."

Hawke looked over at her and Merrill whirled around to face her. She gave them both her best glare. "Sorry to interrupt, but can you put this bickering off for another time?"

"There's nothing else to say." Merrill glared over at Hawke and stalked out.

Hawke sighed, rubbing her temples. She turned toward Saemus. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"She seems...very upset." Saemus said carefully.

"To say the least." Hawke motioned for Aveline to have a seat and gave Bodhan a grateful smile when he brought a tray of tea and small sandwiches, setting it on a table in the middle of the room.

"Your mother sent a note saying she'll be late home tonight, my lady."

"Thank you, Bodhan."

The dwarf bowed and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Saemus settled on a loveseat as Aveline took another of the chairs. He waited until Hawke had served tea and a plate of sandwiches for each of them- she didn't do it with the same grace as her mother could, but Aveline noted with amusement that she was apparently learning some things from Leandra -before speaking up. "I suspect, Guard Captain, that you're here for the same reason I am."

"The Qunari delegation?"

"Yes."

Hawke looked between them. "What Qunari delegation?"

Saemus leaned back, taking a sip of tea, more out of politeness than anything. "A while back, I suggested to the Arishok that maybe if we taught people a bit more about his people, it might help ease the tensions. He recently sent a delegation to the Keep for that purpose. At the Seneschal's insistence, they bound their weapons. Even he knew better than to try and make them leave them behind, so it was a compromise."

"That sounds promising."

"It should have been, but they disappeared."

Hawke went very still, setting her cup down slowly. "When?"

"They were supposed to be at the Keep at midday today, but they never came."

"Damn."

"It gets worse," Aveline said grimly. "The Seneschal came to my office to tell me about it. With great reluctance, I might add."

Saemus shook his head and sighed.

"Donnic investigated and tracked down a guardsman in the Hanged Man who was spending a great deal of money and bragging about all he had to do was turn a blind eye to get it. Also, that he had friends and they were going to show the city what to do with 'heathen oxmen'."

Both Hawke and Saemus, who clearly hadn't heard about this yet, were staring at her now. Hawke's face was pale.

Aveline nodded. "Donnic brought him to me and he said a Templar bought him off. A Templar with the Grand Cleric's seal."

Saemus gasped. "That's not...she couldn't possibly have anything to do with this!"

"No, but obviously someone in the Chantry does."

Saemus' expression went from shocked to grim. "Petrice. It has to be."

"You know her, Saemus?"

"Everyone knows her. I've been keeping an eye on her since you told me about that incident with the saarebas. At first, she wasn't so blatant about her hatred for the qunari but lately she's been preaching against them so vehemently it actually makes people uncomfortable. But a lot of them are still listening."

"As much as I hate to, I have to agree. I went to the Chantry to try and talk to the Grand Cleric and Petrice was the one who came down. She blocked every attempt I made to request an audience with the Grand Cleric, saying she was too busy and didn't speak to just anyone." Aveline scowled.

Saemus leaned forward and his blue eyes had a steely gleam in them that had not been there a year ago. "I, Guard Captain, am not just anyone."

Once, during one of his endlessly annoying attempts to at conversation- which invariably led to some comparison between slaves and mages -Anders had asked Fenris if he'd ever been tempted to kill himself. He'd told the mage such a thing was a sin in the eyes of the Maker. And he'd meant it. He'd never had much faith in someone who seemed to have abandoned not just him, but all the elves, but the idea that there was something beyond this life, a place where there was peace and no pain, walking beside the Maker for all time, was an appealing one. Most slaves weren't allowed to attend Chantry services, but that didn't mean they didn't worship the Maker as much as possible.

With the climate in the city and so many elves joining the Qunari, people might have given him trouble here as well but Sebastian Vael had made a point of welcoming him the last time he'd come in. He didn't know if the Chantry brother had said something to the Grand Cleric but the most he got lately was sidelong glances. No one bothered him, which suited him just fine.

He hadn't expected to like Sebastian. The prince had eased his way into their midst gradually ever since Hawke had agreed to help him track down whoever it was that had killed his family. Sometimes he joined them on jobs and he'd even started coming to the Hanged Man once in a while.

At first, Fenris had found his offers for confession and urgings to welcome the Maker into his heart very irritating. He couldn't figure out if Sebastian's unshakable faith that everything was part of the Maker's plan was naïveté or blind faith. Or a mixture of both. But there was something about his determination to avenge his family, fighting with the earnestness of his faith that had grown on the elf. He was also more than willing to give Fenris quiet and peace when he came here, often sitting with him in companionable silence at the back of the chantry's worship hall, which Fenris appreciated greatly.

There was little peace to be found today, however. Sebastian glanced behind him and sighed. "The Guard Captain is back, I hope she doesn't raise a fuss." He started to say more and checked himself, his brow furrowing as he twisted on the pew to look at the entrance of the chantry.

Curious, Fenris followed his gaze and blinked. It was Aveline, but this time she wasn't alone. The Viscount's son was with her and coming up behind both of them was Hawke.

Sebastian gazed at him sidelong. "I still say it would do more good for you to talk to her than just stare at her, Fenris."

"I'm not staring." Fenris denied it even as he tore his gaze away from her. He'd been accused of staring at Hawke for years now and not just by Sebastian. It wasn't true at all. Everything else might fade into the background whenever she was near but that didn't mean he stared at her. Because he didn't. He made himself settle back into the pew, though he kept his head turned to take in what was going on. "There's nothing to be said."

That, unfortunately, gave him a full view of Mother Petrice when she came down the center aisle. His eyes narrowed automatically. There had been several times in the years since she'd tried to kill Hawke that Fenris had thought of killing that woman. He knew a troublemaker when he saw one and that one had all the arrogance and lust for power that a magister had without half the brains to back it up. She was an utter fool with power, and that made her one of the most dangerous people in the city. What had spared her was the fact killing her would bring much unwanted attention added to the fact she had not tried to harm Hawke again, although he was certain she wanted to.

Sebastian rose and moved so he could listen in. Fenris resisted for about two seconds before giving in to his curiosity and following, making sure he was hidden behind a pillar.

"It's funny how you and issues with the qunari go together," Saemus Dumar was saying. He was outright glaring at Petrice. Hawke had moved to stand at his right. Her expression was much more neutral, but her eyes were fixed unerringly on Petrice's face.

"And you always assume their side," Petrice was obviously struggling to hide her dislike and failing utterly. Her lips were curled into a faint sneer as she looked from Saemus to Hawke. "If this is about the guard captain's claims, I assure you the templars would never embarrass the Chantry, at risk of the knight commander's wrath."

"Does Her Grace know about the missing qunari delegate?" Saemus took a step toward her. "Does she know a templar is suspected of kidnapping them? I know you do, but does she?"

Sebastian drew in a sharp breath and Fenris felt a ball of cold form in the pit of his stomach. He had always been aware there were few in Kirkwall who truly understood what would happen if the qunari decided to attack but this brought it into sharp focus. She truly had no idea what she was trying to bring down on all of their heads.

Or maybe she did and considered that an acceptable sacrifice.

Petrice had crossed her arms over her chest. "The grand cleric trusts her stewards to enact the will of the Maker."

"If the Maker is truly speaking through you, Mother Petrice, then maybe he's not worth following."

Saemus' words were quietly spoken, but they rang through the air like the tolling of a bell. Petrice was gaping at him and Sebastian was staring, wide eyed. The Viscount's son lifted his chin defiantly. "I've already spoken to the Arishok. He knows his men are missing. When I told him I would ask Serrah Hawke to help investigate, he was willing to step back. For now. I wanted to pass the information on to Her Grace, no doubt she will be happy to know."

Petrice's eyes were glittering with fury. If she could have gotten away with killing Saemus in that moment, it was clear she would have. She spoke through gritted teeth. "Very well. If you won't abandon this, let me offer you something. The templar you seek is a radical."

"Aren't they all?" Hawke spoke for the first time, her voice filled with bitter amusement.

Petrice glared at her but continued on doggedly. "My former bodyguard, Ser Varnell. He has grown…unreliable. Confronting him may do us all a favor." She calmed down considerably, even showing a hint of a smile. "I happen to know a place he uses as a hiding spot. Come with me now, and you can see the unrest these Qunari have inspired."

Saemus started to say something and Hawke laid a hand on his arm, murmuring something low enough only he could hear. The boy turned his head to look at her for a long moment before nodding curtly. "Very well."

Fenris had been listening with increasing concern and it bloomed into outright alarm as both Aveline and Hawke went with the boy. What in the void were they doing? Saemus was a well intentioned young fool who could be excused for not seeing this danger for what it was, but Aveline and Hawke had to know this was a trap.

He followed them, forgetting about his resolve to stay away from her, too irritated with her to worry about getting close. The idiot woman was not only getting involved with the qunari…again…but involving herself with Chantry politics as well.

Either Hawke truly didn't know she was putting herself in danger that could easily get her killed or she knew but didn't care. He wasn't sure which idea disturbed him more.

Actually, Fenris was not giving Saemus enough credit. He'd known Petrice had something planned; he just hadn't realized how crazy Ser Varnell was. Nor had he predicted how many people were willing to be whipped into a frenzy of violence against the qunari. When Mother Petrice had incited a fight between them, Ser Varnell had been the only templar there. The rest were just citizens. Just people.

The Viscount's son knelt beside the torn bodies of the qunari delegation, a position that put him between them and a couple of Ser Varnell's fanatics. One was a girl who was younger than he, her face frozen in an expression of shock. When they'd first come in, she'd been throwing rocks with brutal force at one of the tied up qunari, her face frozen in a snarl, her eyes mad and blank.

She'd had that same expression on her face when Ser Varnell had ordered them to attack and she'd lunged at him. It had only cleared into shock when Hawke had run her through.

Saemus turned stunned, grief stricken eyes toward the qunari. Their throats were slit and their bodies showed clearly that they had suffered before they died. All of their swords were still tied down.

Was this the will of the Maker?

A hand touched his shoulder lightly and he looked up, his eyes locking with Hawke's. "They were chanting prayers to the Maker while they did this," he finally managed. Sorrow and fury were warring within him, making him feel slightly sick. He wanted to lash out at something, anything to let loose this horrible feeling of helplessness. "They would have killed us and felt righteous about it. And her…" His rage found a target, that smug, triumphant smile that he'd seen on Petrice's face as she turned and ran after encouraging a fight between them and Varnell filled his mind. "She doesn't feel a hint of guilt. She doesn't know or care about any of these people. You feel more sorrow for them, Hawke, and you killed some of them!"

He saw her flinch and closed his eyes, reaching up and grasping her hand. "I'm sorry, Alessa."

"It's all right." Her voice was quiet.

"I know you didn't want to kill them. I know you spared them if you could. I just…"

"I know, Saemus." She squeezed his shoulder. "This isn't a day to flinch away from the truth."

"I believe the Grand Cleric didn't have anything to do with this, but she promoted that woman in rank. How can she look into her eyes and not see this…this evil in her?"

Hawke just shook her head.

The Guard Captain came up on his other side. "Your father is coming, Serrah Dumar."

"Good." Saemus barely recognized his own voice. So flat and lifeless, it made him sound twenty years older. "Let him see what will become of all of us if we just sit back and let it happen." In truth, he knew for a fact the Arishok had nothing but contempt for his father and there was little the Viscount could do that would change his opinion.

Saemus pushed himself to his feet and drew in a deep breath, pushing back his anger and disgust. Neither would do any good with his father and he needed all the strength he possessed to get through the inevitable lecture about shaming his station and making things worse.

And they were so much worse. A qunari delegation sent in good faith had been tortured and killed which was going to push the Arishok right to the edge. And possibly over it. To add to it, a Chantry mother was involved and she'd used the Grand Cleric's authority to do it. Even questioning the Grand Cleric was going to stir Meredith, and if there was anyone in Kirkwall who had more contempt for his father than the Arishok, it was the Knight Commander.

Saemus rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "What a mess."

"Yes, Serrah," the Guard Captain said simply.

He let out a short laugh and turned. Hawke patted his shoulder and moved to tend to the wounded. There were more hurt than dead, he was grateful to notice. Ser Varnell was among the dead. He'd been unfortunate enough to see the exact moment that friend of Hawke's, the tattooed elf, had come out of nowhere and taken his head. The elf stood off to the side now, and Saemus frowned as he noted the way he was glaring at Hawke like he was angry with her. Before he could think on it more, his father arrived.

The elf's glare at Hawke was nothing compared to the one his father aimed at him. Saemus met his gaze squarely. He was the first to admit some of his actions were foolish but at least he was taking some kind of action, which was more than his father could say.

The Guard Captain stepped forward before his father could rip into him, drawing the Viscount's attention to her. She gave him a rundown of everything that had happened, including Petrice's actions, in a calm, even tone Saemus couldn't help but admire. His father's face grew paler and paler as he absorbed the information and came to the same realizations that Saemus had. "Madness…this is madness…"

"Exactly so, your Excellency," Hawke said quietly. "It's lunacy."

"A Chantry mother…you're quite sure?" His father was almost pleading for them to be mistaken. "You didn't see her with a sword in her hand, did you?"

"She doesn't need a sword in her hand when she has plenty of people willing to wield one in her name, Father," Saemus said sharply.

Dumar rounded on him. "You be quiet, boy. You've already made a bad situation worse!"

"On the contrary, Excellency, things would have been a great deal worse if Saemus hadn't been here," Hawke said. "For one thing, he's probably the only person in Kirkwall the Arishok would be willing to listen to. He would have killed anyone else that delivered the message about his men. The fact he has faith in Saemus' word is a good sign. He's not the one encouraging violence."

"Violence is the last thing I want. Look at this, Father." He swept a hand out to encompass the warehouse Ser Varnell had been using as a base and all the people, dead and wounded, within. "This is hatred and ignorance right here. And it will get worse if it continues. I don't see qunari on one side here and our people on the other, Father. All I see is a tragedy. All I see are lives lost that didn't have to be!"

The Viscount closed his eyes. "Why haven't the qunari found their damned idol?" he muttered. "They've had plenty of time."

Saemus saw the guard captain and Hawke exchange a look and the elf raise his eyebrows, but none of them said anything. Hawke had sworn they were trying to find Tome that had been stolen but none of them had been able to track it down.

His father rubbed his temples. "I'll speak to the Grand Cleric and make some inquiries. Discreetly."

Always discretion, Saemus thought bitterly. Always walking carefully so no one was disturbed. Maker forbid the people of Kirkwall be made to think for once in their lives. Something on his face must have shown his thoughts, because his father narrowed his eyes at him. "The storm these allegations will cause could destroy what support I do have. Is that what you want, Saemus?"

I want you to do the right thing. Instead of saying it out loud, Saemus simply turned away and walked back to the bodies of the qunari.

The Viscount sighed behind him. "There's another problem. We can't return the bodies to the qunari in this state."

"All this time and you really don't think the Arishok already knows, Father?" Saemus glanced over his shoulder.

The Viscount glanced at him and then fixed his eyes on Hawke. "What do you think, Serrah Hawke? What should I do?"

"The Arishok will know if you do something to try and hide what was done to them, your Excellency. It will make things worse and we really can't afford that at this moment in time."

"I agree, Excellency," Aveline added.

His father rubbed his temples. "I suppose you're right. I'm losing my sense of how to balance this nightmare."

Oh, Father, did you ever really have it? Saemus couldn't help the stab of sympathy that went through him. "I think Serrah Hawke and I should bring them back and inform the Arishok."

"Saemus…"

"He has to know, Father. Not saying anything about it will be the same to him as hiding the bodies and you can take it from me, if nothing else, that we need whatever little respect from the Arishok that we can get. Especially now."

"I'll go, Excellency." Hawke rose to her feet as servants of the Chantry and members of the guard came in to start taking the bodies and wounded away. "The delegates are dead, but we can tell the Arishok that the ones responsible are dead too. That should count for something."

"Thank you, Serrah Hawke. Kirkwall owes you a debt of gratitude." The words were begrudging, but Saemus gave his father points for saying them. "Saemus, I'd like a word with you, please."

The tone gave him a pause. Not an order, but a request. He nodded to Hawke and hung back as she walked out.

"Is it her?" The Vicount kept his voice low.

"What?"

His father leaned in earnestly. "I'm not blind, Saemus, despite what you might think. I see the way you look at her. I know several of the matrons have warned you against her."

"I'm not…"

He overrode him determinedly, taking hold of his arm. "If you'd wanted to court her before, I might have objected, but not now." His voice turned sly. "I know enough about the Qun to know you can never have her under its law."

Anger swelled up in Saemus and he jerked his arm free. "And between two evils, Hawke is the lesser one, is that it? Father, you insult me terribly and you insult her unforgivably! You fear the disapproval of the nobility so badly you say you owe her a debt of gratitude to her face and speak of her so the second her back is turned!"

"This has nothing to do with what anyone thinks!" The Viscount burst out, clamping both hands on his shoulders. "You are my son! My only child!"

Stunned by the sudden show of emotion from his father, Saemus paused, looking up at him.

"You don't truly understand how at risk you are. I die a little every time you go down to that stronghold on the docks, and not just because of the possibility one of those horned men will kill you. You're putting yourself in danger from so many different directions that there is no one…no one, Saemus…that can truly protect you. Not me. Not the guard. Not her. I'm not worried about what the damned nobility thinks, I'm worried about you losing your life. So, yes, I consider her the lesser of two evils. If you courted her, married her, that would outrage so many people, but they won't kill you for it. With her at your side, no one would dare."

Saemus was silent for a long time. He reached up and laid a hand on his father's arm. "There are other ways to see the world. The Qunari have shown me that, Father. I know you can't understand how much that means to me. I've never been able to make anyone understand how much we need to see the world in other ways. To look beyond what someone tells us is right. I can't do it with words, so I have to do it with actions. That is a purpose I'm willing to dedicate my life to, Father. The same as any dedicated Chantry or templar. Willing to dedicate my life…or even give it. Because I think it's that important." He detached his father's hands, but gently this time. "I will be more vigilant in regards to my safety. I do understand, Father. But this is something I have to do."

The Viscount was a man who had been granted his station at the behest of others. He was a negotiator who took the path of least resistance and by all accounts had always been that way. He had never truly understood why someone would be willing to give their life for a cause and Saemus could see he didn't understand now. Perhaps he simply couldn't. But he didn't try and call his son back as he left.

Saemus brooded over his father's words on the journey down to the docks. At first, finding a cart for the bodies was hard because no one was willing to go down to the qunari stronghold. Guard Captain Vallen finally borrowed one and a guardsman named Donnic helped them guide the horse. He spoke quietly to Hawke now and again, but both of them left Saemus to his thoughts, which he was grateful for. He stirred as they reached the gates. The stens guarding it nodded to him and took in the cart. Without a word, they took down the bodies of their fallen comrades and carried them in.

"You should go back, Donnic," Hawke said when the last body was taken off the cart.

He shook his head. "I'll go up the hill a ways and wait for you. Aveline would skin me if anything happened to you."

"She'll skin me if anything happens to you. I'll thank you to remember."

Donnic only chuckled, but it was a strained sound. He wasn't unhappy at all to move further away from the qunari compound and he was sharp enough to sense he might not be welcome, Saemus noted.

They had laid the bodies on the ground before the Arishok's throne. When Saemus and Hawke came in, he was standing beside them, lifting the edge of one of the canvas coverings they'd wrapped them in and studying the bodies. "So, you were unable to save them."

Hawke drew in a soft breath and looked down with a bleak expression that disturbed Saemus. "No…"

"But you killed the ones responsible."

"The ones I could get to, yes."

"And the condition of the bodies?" The Arishok looked at them finally as he asked the leading question. Saemus knew his instincts had been correct: the Arishok already knew at least some of what had happened.

"A fanatic used them to incite others of his kind. Into a frenzy." Hawke's gaze was fixed not on the Arishok, but the bodies.

The giant nodded and turned to walk up the steps to his throne. "I accept that."

"It could have been worse," Saemus said quietly. A part of him wanted to apologize for even suggesting the whole affair but he shut it down the second it crossed his mind. He might have needed to if he was facing the humans of Kirkwall but not here. In the Arishok's eyes, he was not to blame and to apologize for it would be an insult.

Saemus understood, however, that it was Hawke's integrity that the Arishok had been testing here, proven when the Arishok looked at her and spoke again. "I have seen every vice and weakness amongst your kind. And how few of you take responsibility. The Viscount remains a fool, but you are not."

Hawke nodded slightly, accepting that compliment for what it was.

"Panahedan." The Arishok leaned back. "I will keep one other good thought about your kind." His eyes moved to Saemus for a brief moment and then he nodded, dismissing them both. Saemus felt a rush of pride and not for the first time, he reflected on the bitter irony that he genuinely wanted the Arishok's respect in a way he'd never wanted his father's. Or anyone else's, if he was honest.

Donnic looked relieved to see them. "Your father asked me to accompany you back to the keep, Serrah Dumar."

Saemus hesitated, looking over at Hawke. "I do want to talk to the Grand Cleric, but that can wait until tomorrow. I don't suppose confronting Mother Petrice will do much good."

"I don't see the point," Hawke replied.

He didn't either, he just had an urge to throw her treachery back in her face. They started walking, Donnic moving ahead of them. It was evening and Lowtown was awash with shadows. In fact, all of Kirkwall seemed awash with shadows, even during the day. "Maybe someone should remind her she's not the only one who can arrange an unfortunate 'accident' in Kirkwall."

Hawke turned to look at him, her eyes wide. He met her gaze defiantly for a moment before dropping his eyes. That wouldn't do any good, nor would he actually arrange such a thing if he could. "I know. I'm not her."

"No, you're not. Don't sink to her level, Saemus. Besides, by this point, killing Petrice won't stop things. If they decide to pin her death on the qunari, it might even make things worse."

"Yes, you're right."

"Besides, doesn't the Qun frown on actions like that? If you killed her yourself, it'd be one thing. The Qunari are nothing if not straightforward."

"I've never asked, but I can't imagine it supports such actions, no." He looked amused. "Of course, you've been reading up on the Qun."

"What I didn't learn from Theta I read up on, yes. Haze found a trader from Rivain who was willing to bring books there. The qunari coexist with humans over there, you know."

"I know. I put the idea forward about visiting there last year but, of course, my father wouldn't hear of it." Saemus had not had the chance to talk to someone except Theta about what he had been entertaining lately and he wasn't sure he would get this kind of chance again. "What did you think about what you read?"

"About the Qun?" She thought that over for a few moments. Nothing knee-jerk about Hawke's thoughts. She didn't make judgments until she was informed. Saemus found himself studying her features, the way her brow furrowed slightly and her eyes narrowed, focusing on nothing as she turned things over in her head. His father's words from earlier crept into his mind and he blushed a bit, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"It's interesting," Hawke said finally. "There's a lot to be admired about the qunari, but I suppose I have the same problem with it that I have with any religion. That absolute certainty that you're in the right, no matter what. They value intelligence and ingenuity but only to the point it doesn't upset their beliefs. I get hung up on the part where they're more than happy to force people to convert."

Those were points that troubled him a bit too, but not enough to make him think it wasn't worth it for the certainty and acceptance the Qun offered. Forcing conversion was a last resort, after all, and didn't happen often.

"Why do you ask, Saemus?" She was studying him now.

"I've considered, no, I am considering converting to the Qun."

Hawke was silent again for a few minutes. "That will definitely cause an uproar."

Saemus shrugged, encouraged by the fact she hadn't immediately objected. "I'm not certain yet." He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm never certain about anything. What do you think, Hawke?"

She glanced away. He noted for the first time she seemed to be clutching something in one of her pockets. "I don't know if I should be advising you on anything, Saemus. Especially something that's so important. My track record on helping people isn't exactly good these days."

"I don't believe that. You came down here without question to try and save that delegate."

"And they're dead." She held up a hand and shook her head a bit. "I'm projecting. I'm sorry, Saemus. I admit, I don't understand why you would want to join the Qun. But I'm not you. I think you should be absolutely certain it's what you want, though. It's your life. The person who knows what's best for you is you, no matter what anyone else thinks."

The troubled look in her eyes made Saemus wonder if she was talking about someone besides him, but he appreciated the words nonetheless. "It isn't something I'm considering lightly. I promised Theta that and I'll promise you too."

"You won't dare break a promise to Theta, so I'll take comfort in that."

That surprised a laugh out of him, the first genuine laugh he'd had for a long time. "I'm not suited for politics, no matter how much my father wants to believe. After all I've seen and learned from the Qunari, taking up the role of Viscount, living that life seems…unbearable. Taking up a position where you hold the lives and happiness of so many people under duress doesn't seem fair to anyone involved. How can I be a good Viscount if I end up resenting the people I rule?"

"I understand, Saemus."

If I had someone like you beside me, I might be able to handle it. The thought came to him, but he didn't say it out loud. If he did end up joining the Qun, he couldn't have her that way. His father was right about that.

That thought lingered in Saemus' mind as they reached the Keep. He watched her fade into the night and stood on the steps for a long while, gazing out over Kirkwall.

Merrill was sitting on her bed and studying her mirror when she heard a slight noise and caught sight of a figure at her window. She grabbed her staff and rose. She was in no mood to deal pleasantly with pranksters or thieves this night. By the time she reached the window, the figure was gone but there was something sitting on the windowsill. Cautiously, she pushed the window open and picked up the cloth wrapped package there. When she unwrapped it, she pulled in a sharp breath and ran to the door, throwing it open and peering out into the night. She thought she saw a figure across the square near the gate but it didn't pause when she called out to it.

She closed the door, returning to sit on the edge of her bed, the Arulin'Holm gleaming in her hand.