The mandrake leaves were by far the worst things that James, Sirius, and Peter had experienced.
Sirius hated it because he couldn't talk as quickly.
James thought it tasted like lime, and lime was a flavor he could not stand.
Peter only hated it because it got in the way of eating.
Actually, it got in the way of all of them eating.
Sirius swallowed his leaf at breakfast the next morning, Peter complained that his pumpkin juice tasted like produce, and James slammed his head on the table because the taste of lime was really driving him off the wall. Remus was incredibly confused.
"What's up with you guys?" he asked them as breakfast began.
James made to answer. "Nothing-"
A jet of green came flying from his mouth and into Sirius' face.
Sirius sat, frozen.
James paled.
"What was that?" Remus asked cautiously.
And that was how the vow of silence began.
For the rest of the day, James, Sirius, and Peter said nothing. They wrote what they had to say on their parchment.
Remus was unnerved.
Sure, it was nice to have them quiet for once. He could actually focus in class! But them not saying a word for hours upon end? Forget hours, Sirius not speaking for five minutes? That was strange. Too strange for Remus' liking.
"Okay, what is it?" Remus insisted, "What's up with you? You've been silent all day, and that's not like you! What is going on?"
James glanced up from the essay he was writing and grabbed a spare piece of parchment.
We aren't sick, don't worry, he wrote.
"Then why aren't you talking?" Remus demanded.
It's a vow of silence, Sirius scrawled under James' writing.
"Yes, but why are you doing a vow of silence?"
To show how much you depend on our humor, Sirius scribbled.
"You know I depend on your humor, Sirius. What's the real reason?"
So you can get work done for once, Peter jotted down.
"Does this have anything to do with breakfast?" Remus asked, trying to piece the puzzle together.
No, the boys wrote.
"So it does," Remus decided. "What was that? I bet it was from the Greenhouses, you lured Snape down there for some reason, maybe as a cover for why you were down there."
That was only a prank! James protested.
Yeah, come on, Moony, let us have some fun without getting suspicious, Sirius scrawled.
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" Remus asked them.
Yeah, James wrote.
Pretty sure, Sirius wrote.
What they said, Peter wrote.
"Well," Remus said, "I guess I have to figure it out myself."
The boys shook their heads wildly.
"Then tell me!" Remus insisted.
We can't tell you, we're doing a vow of silence, Sirius scribbled.
"Write me."
Me.
"You know what I mean, Sirius."
What? You said to 'write me' so I did!
"I meant write what you're doing, besides the vow of silence."
Sirius snapped his quill in half.
I don't think he can, Peter wrote.
"Would you write me, Peter?"
Me.
"Not you, too!" exclaimed Remus. "James?"
No can do, mate, James scribbled.
"Well, why not?"
It's a secret.
"I told you mine!"
We figured that out.
"Good point, but still," Remus argued, "mine was essential to keep. Knowing you guys, this is probably isn't."
James made no reply, deciding to continue his homework.
"Guys, please," Remus pleaded, "you're making me nervous."
"You're making everyone nervous," Lily said as she walked past. "Is this about Umbridge?"
Sirius snatched Peter's quill and wrote, No, but we're working on that.
Peter stole James' quill. Give me that back! Peter jotted hastily. I have homework!
Sirius passed Peter's quill back, who in turn, returned James'.
"Does this have something to do with Valentine's Day, Potter?" Lily asked.
James turned to the paper.
No, but if you change your mind-
Sirius grabbed James' quill before he could finish.
"Still no, Potter," Lily said dryly. "Now, I'm going to enjoy this day of productivity…."
"She's not going out with you because she's interested in Snape," Remus said suddenly.
"WHAT?" James roared, spitting out his leaf for the second time that day.
"So you do talk," Remus noted, then pulled out his wand. "Accio."
Sirius lunged for the leaf, missing by only a few inches.
Remus inspected it, confusion clouding his face. "Is this from a mandrake?"
There was no answer. The others had sprinted up the stairs and were in the dormitory. Remus was onto them.