A/N: I'm sorry, Gwaine. I'm constantly using you as the butt of my jokes.
You know I love you, right?
So tell me, how many of you went back and read that last one again again after seeing the last line?
Judging by the reviews it would have been hilarious to watch people reading it ^_~
Also, I've posted a poll on my profile- I'd be grateful if you all would provide me with your opinion on what I should write next :)
36 will be "Out Standing in his Field"
Arthur woke gradually, which pretty much only happened when he'd been knocked out.
Any other time Merlin was flinging open the curtains and dragging him out of bed or Gwaine was rousing the whole camp as rudely as possible in revenge for having last watch.
Looking about him he noticed the cell was rather more welcoming than what he typically found himself in- not a single rat in sight and it even had a large window. It was barred just enough to keep him from slipping through, but a window nonetheless.
Now that he looked he realized he wasn't even chained, just tied with a bit of rope- which he quickly set about loosening with his teeth.
He didn't really remember much aside from being out hunting with Merlin and sending the klutz out to collect firewood. He gave grudging respect to whomever had managed to come upon him unawares.
Hands now free, he checked his head for signs of a wound and found only a small lump.
Clearly his captors were much more generous than the norm.
Untying the bindings around his ankles, he rose to his feet and looked out the window.
No hope of escape from there, even without the bars.
He was clearly up in a tower of some sort, a tower that was perched on a low cliff overlooking a forest.
Even with his considerable skill he doubted he'd be able to safely scale such a great expanse of stone and rock without being spotted and shot down.
Footsteps echoed in the corridor outside the wooden door and the king was quick to work his way up the wall; bracing himself so he was suspended above the doorway.
The lock clicked and a tall man in dark leathers slipped into the room, taking in the empty space before looking upward.
"Ah, there you are- come on down so we can get out of here."
Even in the unfamiliar clothes it was easy to recognize his idiot manservant, despite attempting to hide his identity with the red scarf tied about his face.
"Did you honestly expect to fool anyone with that piteous disguise? That rag is almost as recognizable as your face anyway." Arthur said, dropping to the floor.
Merlin shrugged.
"Worked well enough against the mercenaries. No one even questioned me."
"Probably the only reason you're still alive since you can't lie to save your life."
"Maybe not, but it wasn't really my life I was worried about."
The king was about to interject when the servant spoke over him.
"Now, if you'd stand back, Sire?"
Arthur was so surprised to be overruled that he moved without question and Merlin leaned back a bit before kicking the bars out of the window with hardly any apparent effort.
The monarch gaped at him.
Merlin, meanwhile, had retrieved a coil of rope from the hallway and unslung a bow from his shoulder before tying the rope to an arrow and nocking it.
"What are you doing?" Arthur asked, incredulous.
"Making good our escape." He replied nonchalantly as he took aim at the forest below.
"Merlin, I know you're rather inexperienced in rescues so let me offer some advice: this isn't a good idea."
The pale man rolled his eyes.
"Relax Arthur, I know what I'm doing."
He let the arrow fly, only having to nudge it a bit with his mind before manipulating the rope into a strong knot around a sturdy tree.
"And what was that supposed to accomplish? Even if you managed to hit a tree there's no way it'll support even your insubstantial weight."
"Arthur." He turned to face his master, projecting confidence and calm in his voice.
"I know what I'm doing, trust me. I have a... friend in the forest who has caught the arrow and tied the rope around a tree. Then we'll attach it at our end and slide down. Here, you can test it yourself if you like."
The king stepped forward and tugged on the rope, which didn't budge.
"And how do I know you didn't just impale this 'friend' of yours and the arrow will pop out as soon as we put our weight on it?"
"Really Arthur?" He sighed. "Don't worry about it, my eyesight is as good as that of my namesake"
Better, actually... "I can clearly see him signaling me from here."
The blond looked dubious as he surveyed the green expanse below.
"How could you possibly-"
"Look, Sire, I'd love to go back and forth with you over this; but we really do need to get out of here before someone notices."
He took up the loose end of the rope and secured it to the cell door.
"Now, are you going to go down first or shall I?"
"Merlin, I don't think I- I mean, there's no way you can climb all the way down without killing yourself."
"Who said anything about climbing?" Merlin grinned at him.
"What?"
"Here, I'll show you. I'll use my neckerchief, but you'll have to take off your belt or something- just loop it over the rope and slide all the way down. Quick and easy- you may even enjoy it!"
Arthur eyed the rope with mounting trepidation.
"You expect me to- slide- all the way down there with my belt."
His voice was too flat to really be considered questioning.
"Don't tell me you're frightened, Highness? I'm sure your superior reflexes will allow you to avoid crashing into anything at the bottom."
"Of course I'm not frightened, idiot." But truthfully he was so unnerved he found it difficult to formulate further excuses.
"If I go first, will that be enough to convince you it's safe? I don't want to have to climb all the way back up here to retrieve you if you can't follow."
The tone was enough to spur Arthur into action and he removed his belt, stepping up to the rope and preparing to drop to his death.
"Surely you know there's nothing I can't do, Merlin- and infinitely better than yourself, I might add."
"So that means you'll be doing your own chores from now on?"
"Shut up, Merlin."
Arthur held his belt in a white-knuckled grip, steeled himself, then jumped from the window.
The descent was much quicker than he expected and he soon found himself heading into the trees at high speed. Panicking a bit, he kicked his legs forward and nearly bit his tongue as they jarred against the trunk of a tree to halt his fall.
Hearing his fool of a friend whooping behind him he hastily moved out of the way.
Rather than crashing into the tree, Merlin chose to drop to the ground just before reaching the end of the line, landing in an ungraceful heap but quickly regaining his feet.
"Well, now that they've undoubtedly heard your girlish screaming, we'd best beat a hasty retreat- where's this friend of yours?"
"I was hardly screaming, Arthur, just having a bit of fun. And my friend left- probably too nervous about meeting royalty; or too impatient to wait while you gathered your courage."
"Merlin, if you ever-"
"I understand, Sire. I'll not speak of this again."
Much. He thought to himself.