Chapter Thirty-Seven
January 2nd 1762, Versailles
It was a cold January morning when Zoe arrived back at the Palace of Versailles. She'd missed Reinette's birthday by only four days as the roads were full of snow and slick with ice, slowing her journey down so that she missed the Christmas season entirely. On Christmas day itself, she had spent cold and miserable hours trying to keep herself warm in an inn on the road; and the less said about the food the better. Unable to bear the thought of spending longer in the roadside inn whilst the snow melted enough for her carriage to pass unobstructed, she left orders for her belongings to be sent on when they could and she set off on horseback across the country to reach Paris. Upon arriving in the capital three days later, she stabled the horse and collapsed into an exhausted sleep to wake late the next morning when she pushed onto Versailles.
Her letter from Marseilles, sent the day she departed, had arrived only days before she did and filled Reinette with a sense of excitement that left her unable to sleep. She kept a vigil at the windows, waiting anxiously for Zoe's arrival and not even Louis's teasing and the faintly mocking whispers of the servants could keep her from the frosted window panes, the glass moist with condensation. It was early afternoon when she spied Zoe approaching the palace on horseback, dressed in a filthy habit and her hair loose and tangled around her. She looked like a well-to-do urchin but Reinette had never seen anything more beautiful in her life.
Reinette flew from her position at the window as stable boys hurried forward to take the reins of her horse and help her jump down, tugging the leather gloves from her hand as she did so. She ran through the gilded corridors that were still decorated for Christmas and she picked up her skirts as she hurried down the gran staircase to meet a cold and tired Zoe in the entrance hall. Her approach didn't slow and she slammed into Zoe, the bustle of her skirt digging unpleasantly into Zoe's ribs.
It was only because Zoe saw her coming that they didn't end up sprawled on the floor in an undignified mess that would make the king and queen despair. Her tiredness lifted from her shoulders and she let out a bright, carefree laugh as she hugged Reinette back. Reinette wept happily into her shoulder, breathing deeply in the familiar smell of her lover that was hidden slightly by a layer of sweat that came from her days of travel. Before they gained a larger audience than the servants in the entrance hall, Reinette bundled her away to their apartments, calling for a bath to be drawn.
"I ache in places I didn't know I could ache." Zoe groaned as Reinette's deft hands helped to divest her of her clothes, peeling them off with a small wrinkle in her nose as they were stiff with sweat.
"Did you ride all the way from Marseilles?" Reinette asked with a small laugh, throwing the clothes carelessly to one side: hoping they would be burned but settling to have them removed from their apartment.
"It feels like it."
Zoe wasn't properly alert enough for conversation that first night back but they revelled in being together again and, whilst she slept, Reinette watched her and catalogued the changes she saw in her face although she had only been gone for three months. She had gone to the South of France to explore, her feet itchy for adventure. Reinette had sent her off, unable to travel with her as her position in Court made such journeys difficult, and she had missed her every day that she was gone.
When Zoe awoke the next morning, having slept later than normal, she found breakfast waiting for her on the side table. Properly rested, she and Reinette were finally able to talk and their spent their first day back together in their apartments curled together, talking about everything she had missed over the last few months.
"Honestly?" She said, once she finished detailing her time away where there had been no alien invasions, or anything interesting of the sort. "I was a little bored. I guess I'm so used to sharing my travel with other people that it just felt strange and lonely without someone there to share it with me. So I cut it short and came home."
A bright smile dawned across Reinette's face. "Home."
"I'm sorry?"
"This is the first time I've heard you refer to here as home." She informed her. "I like how it sounds."
"Oh, well." Zoe said, at a loss for words and feeling flustered enough that she knocked the butter knife to the floor.
Her return to Versailles didn't change much in the day to day running of the Royal Court but it changed everything in Reinette's life. She no longer hosted as many salons, she cut down on the amount of dinners she attended in favour of sharing her meals with Zoe, and her day to day happiness increased exponentially with her to share her days with. Louis, always happy to seize on any excuse to host a party, organised a ball for the end of the month to celebrate Zoe's return.
"Please no stays." Zoe begged when Reinette busied herself with getting their dresses for the ball ready.
"There will be stays."
"Why do you torture me like this?" She said, falling back onto their bed, limbs splayed out, a look of intense suffering on her face that Reinette couldn't help but laugh at.
On the night of the ball though, Zoe didn't complain once about having her organs crushed up inside her ribcage, or about the discomfort of wearing appropriate shoes instead of her boots. Not that she saw the point of the fancy shoes as the skirt of her dress concealed her footwear but she was aiming to make Reinette happy and so suffered her pinched toes and blistered heels in silence. They danced the night away, twirling and laughing beneath the sparkling sky, the snow crunching beneath their feet, and love filling the space between them.
They passed weeks in a similar manner, happily lost in a haze where only they and their love existed and everything else was secondary. It was only when the snow began to melt leaving the grass wet and the trees dripping with a fresh, clean smell that wrapped around the palace as the sun started to warm the earth again, did they begin to settle back into the life they shared together. Her absence prompted Reinette to spend hours sketching her in various positions. She captured her when she was sleeping, reading, fresh in from a ride with the king, laughing with the children that she returned to teaching in Paris, and reclined in the bath.
Wanting something more tangible than the ephemeral pencil lines, she ordered fresh art supplies. She woke Zoe with a kiss on a bright and clear March morning and coaxed her out of bed with the promise of fresh coffee.
"You want to do what?" Zoe asked, the coffee waking her up and she sat in a stream of pale sunlight and Reinette thought she had never seen anything more beautiful.
"I want to paint your portrait." Reinette said simply.
She waited for Zoe's reaction, stomach fizzing with nerves because there was a strange look on her face that Reinette recognised. It was the look that took hold of her features when she was thinking about something in her past, something before Reinette.
"Okay." She said easily after a moment, sipping her coffee, and Reinette must have looked startled because she laughed. "If you want to paint my portrait, then you can paint my portrait. I don't understand why you'd want to, but as long as it makes you happy."
"Thank you, my darling." Reinette said in the face of her acceptance, kissing her cheek before she bit into a croissant.
Zoe watched her fondly before glancing out of the window. She'd almost forgotten about the portrait that set her out on her journey through time and space five years earlier. She vividly remembered standing in front of it with her mum and looking up at herself represented in oil and wondering about the story behind it. She remembered the feeling of excitement that burned through her at the promise of an adventure yet to come. She quickly slid her eyes back to Reinette and wished that she could go back to her seventeen-year-old self and tell her that days of love and happiness were to come. She sipped her coffee and thought about closing the circle and how everything worked out in the end without needing anything from her.
Time got what it wanted in the end.
Of course, Zoe might have underestimated how long it took to paint a portrait and by hour two, she grew restless. She watched Reinette behind the canvas, her eyes occasionally peeking out to check fresh details and to make sure she had Zoe's body was accurate on the canvas, a small furrow of concentration between her eyes. When she thought the coast was clear, Zoe shifted to let the blood flow back into her buttocks.
"Sit still." Reinette chided from behind the easel.
A look of innocence that fooled no one appeared on Zoe's face. "I am."
"No, you're fidgeting." She chastised, eyes sparkling with amusement as she peered around the canvas to frown at her lover. "It's affecting the light."
"Oh, well, I'd hate to do that." Zoe replied, mouth lifting up and she settled back into her plush seat where Reinette had arranged her limbs and told her to remain still for the duration of the portrait. Zoe watched her with great affection. "What will you do with the painting?"
"I shall hang it where everyone can admire your beauty." Reinette replied and Zoe laughed, delighted.
There had been a significant shift in their relationship since they dealt with the Alfasi months before. They had taken it slowly until, one night, Zoe pressed her up against a wall and kissed the laughter from her mouth. Ever since then, Reinette felt as though she was flying as she was happier than she had ever been. The change in Zoe was noticeable as well. Before, she had been prone to bouts of melancholy and solitude but now she was more open with her affection and often sought her out for company, something she rarely did before.
It was as though she'd been afraid of something, moving through the palace and the 18th century cautiously, conscious of being out of place, but that was all gone now. She treated the palace as her home, and Reinette as something indescribably precious to her.
Reinette was thrilled at the change and she found herself being lifted up by Zoe's love that coursed through her, as real and as life giving as the blood that pulsed beneath her skin. She felt decades younger, and Louis teasingly commented on her good spirits during their last lunch together. She loved him dearly but she would never tell him how wonderful it was to be in love with, and to be loved by, Zoe. It felt like a treasured secret that only she knew and she was a covetous enough person to not want to share it.
"Tell me a story." Reinette requested as she tried to capture the power and beauty of Zoe's body, which was clad in the red dress that Reinette adored on her as it made her skin stand out.
Zoe had been oddly insistent on the dress, something she couldn't recall ever happening before.
"Have I told you about Indra yet?" She asked after a moment's thought, cycling through her usual stories that Reinette had heard at least once, and she settled on the book of myths that she was currently reading.
"No." She said. "Is he a friend of yours?"
"No." Zoe smiled. "He's a figure in Vedic mythology, and a key figure in Hinduism. He's the god of the heavens and he once slayed Vrita, the dragon, freeing the rivers and dawn, and bringing back happiness and prosperity to humankind."
"Tell me about him."
As she began to retell the story of Indra, Reinette smiled softly at the canvas and felt her own happiness spill over her.
August 14th 1762, Paris
Zoe couldn't help but laugh from her spot lazing on the bed in their Versailles apartments when Reinette emerged from behind the dressing screen clothed in one of Zoe's cheap dresses that she used for teaching. It made the uncrowned queen of France look like an exceptionally beautiful peasant woman and the disguise, such as it was, would do nothing to stop people staring at her. It might stop them from recognising her but the stares would come regardless.
As it was Zoe's twenty-first birthday, Reinette was stepping back into Zoe's world once more.
They were going to explore the Paris that Reinette had never seen, cloistered and protected as she was by life at court. Zoe planned on taking her on a tour of the seedier streets in Paris and under the city into the catacombs. She wanted Reinette to see the Parisians as she saw them: dignified, honourable, and full of life, although not half as lucky as those in the palace. As such, it was necessary that they both dress the part. That wasn't a problem for Zoe who was comfortable outside of her stays, but Reinette just looked peculiar in the pale blue and white dress that was the one combination of colours that suited them both.
"Don't laugh!" She protested, hands flattening against her stomach self-consciously.
"I'm sorry, darling." Zoe said around her laughter, trying to force her face into something that wasn't bright with amusement. She rolled out of their bed and crossed the room in easy strides to take her into her arms and kiss away the unfamiliar self-consciousness. "You look beautiful."
"I feel so naked." She confessed in a whisper, her nose crinkling, feeling safe within the circle of Zoe's arms. "My breasts are -"
"A sight to behold?" Zoe teased and Reinette slapped her arm, smiling and blushing. "Here, turn around. I'll tighten the top for you."
"Why is it so loose anyway?" She asked, doing as she was told. "Your breasts are smaller than mine. This should be too tight for me."
"Honestly?" Zoe replied and Reinette's hair bobbed when she nodded. "I don't like how tight the cloth is so I wear it loose with a shirt underneath."
"How positively scandalous." Reinette said delighted, and Zoe kissed her exposed neck, tightening the top of the dress enough that her breasts were held in place. "Oh, that's much better. Thank you."
She reluctantly moved away and she picked up Reinette's personal jewellery box, which she had brought with her, and opened the lid. "Jewels."
"Oh, must I?"
"You must." She said, playfully snapping the lid at her. "I think you'll find very few people actually walk around with jewellery expensive enough to purchase the Louvre."
Reluctantly, Reinette peeled off her rings and necklace and carefully arranged them in the box before letting the lid close over them. She held her arms out to her side as she had seen Zoe do before.
"How do I look?"
Beautiful was Zoe's honest thought. It struck her that it was particularly unfair for Reinette to look beautiful in what was seemingly a colourful burlap sack, but she did. There was less make-up on her face and the crow lines around her eyes and mouth were visible; her hair was pulled out of its elaborate do and tied simply off at the nape of her neck. She was so beautiful that it took Zoe's breath away and so she told her that. It was a pleasure to watch the colour her words brought creep up Reinette's pale, elegant neck and suffuse into her face.
"You are too much, my darling."
"For you, it's never too much." Zoe replied, leaning in to take a kiss that was willingly given. She offered her arm. "Shall we?"
"Absolutely." Reinette said, taking her arm with enthusiasm. "I'm rather excited about this."
"As well you should be," Zoe grinned. "I may not be able to give you the stars but I'm going to give you a Paris you've never seen before."
The first stage of their journey was to catch a public coach from Versailles into Paris. They walked the short distance from the palace to the town that it was named after, enjoying the early morning good weather; and so Zoe could stretch her legs. She was used to more activity than life at the palace offered her and she took what she could get when it was offered to her. They waited with a man who eyed Zoe disdainfully, the colour of her skin clearly an affront to his good manners, but he looked at Reinette with interest. Zoe squeezed her lover's hand to prevent her from starting a conversation, and Reinette found herself fighting against her nature to remain quiet.
The carriage ride itself was an experience she wouldn't soon forget.
The quarters were cramped and hot. The heat pressed in on them and the smell of human bodies threatened to overwhelm her. She discreetly turned her head so she could breathe in the scent of Zoe's soap inside, finding that it helped to quell her desire to vomit. She found herself sandwiched between Zoe, whom she didn't mind being pressed against, and a rather dusty looking tradesman whose hand kept drifting to her thigh. The impertinence of it angered her. She was unused to men taking such liberties with her as her position as Chief Mistress kept men at a respectful distance from her and she shifted closer to Zoe, who glanced around and saw what was happening.
It happened too quickly for Reinette to process but one moment the man's hand was on her thigh, the next he was cradling two broken fingers against his chest and Zoe was glancing out of the window again, looking for all the world as though she was bored. Reinette suppressed a smile. Even she couldn't find it in herself to feel sorry for the whimpering man and she squeezed Zoe's fingers, drawing a secretive smile from her. Even though she felt nervous about venturing out into the world without her normal retinue, especially given the fact that the last time she did so she ended up on the bridge of an alien space ship, she felt safe with Zoe at her side.
She had never let her down before and had always kept her safe. She didn't see why a trip into Paris would be any different.
They were let out just inside the city boundary where the residential area started to give way to the commercial sector. Zoe jumped nimbly out of the carriage as soon as it drew to a halt and she offered her hand to Reinette, who took it gratefully. Although it was far easier to step out of the carriage when she wasn't weighed down by the many layers and large underskirt of her normal dresses. She felt that she could soon get used to the freedom that Zoe's preferred mode of dressing offered.
"Are you hungry?" Zoe asked, turning to her, tucking her hand into the crook of her elbow, blithely ignoring the man with the broken fingers who scampered away from them. Reinette watched him go, oddly satisfied. "You didn't eat much at breakfast."
"I was too excited." Reinette confessed, and a smile bloomed wide and happy on Zoe's face. "What do you have in mind?"
"I've always believed that the best way to experience a place is through the food." Zoe said, guiding her towards a shabby, if clean-looking, inn that had barrels set outside where ruddy faced men were drinking wine. "I think you'll find the food is a little different to what you're used to at the palace."
"I place myself entirely in your hands." She said. "I trust you."
Zoe's expression softened and she patted her hand fondly, briefly overwhelmed by her emotions. She led them into the inn and there was a brief pause in the general murmurings of the establishment as the eyes inside took in the new arrivals. Reinette felt certain they would recognise her and she felt a spasm of fear roll through her as not everyone supported the king but they turned away from them and resumed their own conversations without even a flicker of familiarity. Zoe led her to a table in the corner where they could watch the rest of the room without themselves being observed. The chair was uncomfortable and the table was slightly uneven but Reinette seated herself and found herself looking around the room with wide, open curiosity.
Those in the inn were unlike the people she saw in her day to day life. Their dress was poorer and shabbier though well cared for, suggesting a certain pride, and they sat with their elbows on the tables and their shoulders hunched. The French was a little more unrefined than she was used to, the accents stronger and more guttural, but she saw in them Paris and France. They so clearly represented the country and the people that she loved that she felt a kinship to them. When she looked around to Zoe to share in the wonder, she found her lover watching her with a soft, unfamiliar expression on her face.
"What is it?" Reinette asked. "You're looking at me strangely."
"It's nothing." Zoe shook her head, voice soft. "I just...I just wish I could show you the universe, that's all."
"I never wanted the universe." Reinette confessed. "Only you."
To her surprise, tears sprung to Zoe's eyes and she found herself lost for words. The only time she had seen Zoe close to tears was the night that Reinette told her of her children, dead years before but leaving an aching chasm in her heart that not even her wanderer from the stars could fill. Zoe reached out and covered her hand, the warmth of it soaking into her and she turned it over so that their palms slid together, fingers twining.
"You have me." She promised thickly. "For now and always."
Reinette's heart beat heavily in her chest. She couldn't possibly mean what she thought she did. Her mouth was dry and her eyes felt sticky when she blinked. "And...what about when the Doctor returns for you?"
"I told you, I'll deal with it." Zoe said confidently. "And it might be difficult because, when I'm from, you're a historical figure, but there are ways around everything and I'm quite determined."
"That you are." Reinette huffed a laugh. "I remember how determined you were to learn to dance properly. I'm not entirely sure my feet have recovered."
"Your feet are fine." She grinned. "You're going to love it. I'm going to take you dancing on moon and show you all my favourite places before we find our own places that we love and can share. Although, we will first have to stop off and visit my mum. I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do, and she really won't be happy with me, or the Doctor: hopefully she'll be so angry at him that I can slip by unnoticed. She'll like you though, even if she'll be a little confused. But after that, I'm going to show you everything." Uncertainty flickered in her eyes. "If you want to, that is."
"I'll go with you anywhere." Reinette promised fiercely.
An image of them, blurred through lack of details, sprung to her mind of alien planets and different times; all of it experienced with her hand in Zoe's. She didn't care where they were as long as they were together.
That was all she ever wanted.
"Good." Zoe said, clearing the emotion from her throat. She slowly removed her hand as a waiter stomped over and raised an eyebrow in lieu of asking them what they want. His eyes flickered with interest over Reinette who turned her face so that she could wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. "We'll have a bottle of wine and two flamiches."
Reinette looked at her.
"It's a pastry thing, and really tasty." Zoe explained. "You'll love it. Trust me."
Trusting her was easier than breathing.
December 20th 1762, Versailles
The year faded from spring to summer to autumn and finally back into winter.
The grounds of the palace were covered in snow and the air had turned icy cold. Zoe revelled in the way that her breath formed a white mist in front of her and she persuaded Reinette to make snow angels on the lawn with her. They ended up shivering and flushed but happy as they warmed each other up in bed later that evening. Their apartments were blissfully warm with the fires roaring and night falling earlier and earlier every day. She admired the servants as the palace was already decorated for Christmas. She went to sleep one night and when she awoke, the entire palace was decked out in its traditional decorations. The servants worked feverishly through the night and festooned the building with lights and trees and the festive spirit.
She loved winter at Versailles; it was her favourite season there.
Where London was wet and cold during winter, Versailles was simply beautiful and it felt as though it was what Christmas was supposed to be. Having missed the last Christmas because of her travel chaos, she walked around the castle and the grounds and took everything in, delighting in it in a way she hadn't done before. The kitchen staff often had to chase her out of the large, busy kitchen: wooden spoons lashing out at her behind when she ran away laughing, clutching her spoils to her chest.
The smell of the food seemed even more irresistible at Christmas.
She also participated in mass, despite not being Catholic, and she went to church with Reinette: the one time of the year she did so and only because Reinette asked so sweetly. She enjoyed the cold evenings where she and Reinette would curl up by the fire and just spend time together, although Zoe did worry. The weather affected Reinette's health poorly and she seemed to be in a constant state of coughing and wheezing. She was currently tucked up in bed with another cold and had thrown Zoe from her room due to her fussing and so she used the opportunity to go for a ride.
She walked down to the stables, her boots making the snow crunch beneath her, and she greeted the stable boys who were keeping warm around a fire pit and she waved them off, choosing the saddle her horse herself. She adored her horse, a gift from Reinette, and in a fit of mischief she had called it Louis, daring the king to say something about it. His lips had just lifted at the corner and he was resigned to the matter. Not that the stable hands called her horse Louis as they were afraid of upsetting the king, which she felt was a foolish fear.
He was called Louis the Beloved for a reason.
She saddled her horse and swung herself easily into the saddle, walking him out of the stables before she broke him into a trot to warm him up.
She had been in France for just over four years and it seemed a lifetime since she had been on the SS Madam de Pompadour or walking across Planet One with the Doctor, the heat of the day beating down on her shoulders. It felt like a lifetime since she'd seen Rose and Jack, their forms fading as they walked off to the dance festival, and even longer still since she had last seen her mother and Mickey. She missed all of them with a fierceness that faded into gentle pain over the years. The first year was the hardest and it only got better after the Alfasi, and after she let herself fall in love with Reinette.
Love, Zoe realised, wasn't an emotion. It wasn't like films and books made it out to be where eyes met across a crowded room and it was kismet. It was something much more mundane and real.
It was a choice.
She had decided to love Reinette and she fell hard for her. It was a choice she made knowing that it would change her life because, despite her confidence, she wasn't sure that they could safely remove Reinette from her timeline. She needed to speak to the Doctor but there was no sign of him and until there was, she couldn't know for sure how the rest of her life would unfold. Whether she would return to the TARDIS with Reinette, or stay in Versailles with Reinette and have her family visit her when they could.
Either way, one thing she was certain of was that her life was now entwined with that of Reinette's and nothing would be able to tear them apart.
"Zoe!" A voice called out, interrupting her thoughts and her gallop.
She pulled her horse around, breathless from the hard run they had just finished, and she saw the king riding out towards her, his usual attendants flanking him.
"Your majesty." She said when he pulled his horse to a stop next to her, his cheeks flushed red from the cold and the exercise.
"Oh, stop it." He said and she laughed. "I was surprised to hear you'd taken my namesake out for a ride. I thought you'd be keeping Reinette company."
"Apparently I was annoying her." She said good-naturedly. "And so she told me to leave her alone."
"Oh, dear." He replied with a frown. "She must be feeling bad if she won't stand for you fussing over her. She normally enjoys it."
"It's the damn weather." Zoe said. "It gets into her chest every year."
He murmured his agreement, the two of them joined by their concern for the woman they loved. "May I join you for your ride?"
"Of course." She replied, and he dismissed his attendants who seized the opportunity to return to the warmth of the castle. She and Louis took off at a steady walk along the tree line where the leaves were frosted and glittered like diamonds. He caught her looking at them.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"It really is." She agreed. "They remind me of a planet I visited once."
She never spoke to Louis about her travels, though it was impossible for him not to know the truth about her, and so he turned to her, fascinated. "Oh?"
"It's called Tolandra." Zoe explained, and it was years since she'd spoken the name out loud. The nightmares had faded after her first year in the 18th century but occasionally they crept back in, usually when she least expected it. Time had healed most of her wounds and what she'd learned from Yatta did the rest. "There, jewels grow on trees like leaves and out of the ground like flowers. It's the most beautiful planet in the universe. The frosted leaves reminded me of it for a moment."
"You have pleased this king greatly." Louis said. "To learn that you consider Versailles as beautiful as that planet."
"You're easy to please." She told him and he laughed.
"Perhaps." He said and they lapsed into silence for a spell. "May I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"For the last few weeks, you seem to have had something on your mind." Louis said and she was surprised he noticed. "Is there something bothering you?"
Zoe pulled her horse to a stop and she faced Louis. "Not bothering me...but I have been thinking about something, and I'm uncertain about it."
"Tell me, if you think it'll help." He said, his face filled with kindness and openness. She reached into the pocket of her waistcoat and removed a simple gold ring. She extended it to Louis and placed it in his gloved palm. He stared at it. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"I want to ask Reinette to marry me." Zoe said and, saying the words out loud for the first time, she felt terrified but also incredibly certain that it was the right thing to do.
She knew she was young but she had seen and done so much that she felt far older than her twenty-one years.
Louis blinked at her. "You want to marry her? I - two women?"
"I know it doesn't really happen in this time." Zoe said. "And I know it won't be legal, but the important thing is I want to ask her so she knows how I feel about her, properly and without any equivocation."
"My word." He said, withdrawing a handkerchief to press at his face that suddenly beaded with sweat. "Is this - is this a common thing in your time? Women marrying women?"
"Not in my time." She admitted. "Well, not from the year I'm from anyway, but in a few years after my time same sex marriage will be legal almost everywhere."
"Good Lord."
"You're not taking this as well as I hoped you would."
"Forgive me, I'm sorry, I just – you've rather taken me aback." He admitted, a little wide eyed still, grateful his attendants weren't there to see him stammer. "Why are you hesitating? You know she will say yes."
"Will she?" Zoe asked, voicing her fear. "I know she loves me, but she also loves you."
"My Lady of Time, you are an idiot." Louis laughed, and she looked so offended he couldn't help but laugh harder. "Reinette loves you more deeply than she's ever loved me. She will choose you in a heartbeat if you ever asked her too, however I know that you won't."
He placed the ring back into her palm; her fingers curled protectively around it
"Ask her, you fool." He said with a smile. "And leave the ceremony to me. It won't be legal, as you say, but I think I can do something to give you the idea of marriage. A celebration of sorts, with the people who love you."
Zoe swallowed against the lump in her throat. "Louis...thank you."
"Thank me by keeping her happy." He said. "That is all I ask."
That same night
The fires blazed in the hearths and the heavy curtains were drawn over the windows to keep the cold out. Reinette lay in their bed with her back propped up against a mountain of pillows to help the congestion in her lungs. A heavy blanket was draped across her lap, and Zoe's dressing gown around her shoulders. Everything ached. She had been coughing harder and harder as the day progressed and the doctor had been called for again and left with yet another prescription of bed rest and liquids to help her. She didn't know why they bothered calling the doctor. It wasn't as though there was anything he could do for her cold but both Louis and Zoe tended to worry.
She watched Zoe with bleary eyes as she moved about the room, tidying even though they had servants to do that for them. She was suffering in the heat of their rooms and had stripped down to her nightgown, having torn the sleeves from it so that she didn't overheat. Reinette appreciated her arms, strong and sure, as she stoked the fire to bring the heat up.
She'd been uncharacteristically quiet since returning from her ride.
At first, Reinette thought it was because she had thrown her from the rooms earlier but she quickly dismissed that thought as it wasn't the first time Reinette had forced her to leave and, despite some grumbling, Zoe was always good natured about it. She worried that her moods of old were coming back and Reinette's stomach twisted at the thought of Zoe being trapped in her mind with regrets and what-ifs. However, even that didn't seem right for she was stoking the fire gently instead of jabbing it at as though it had done her a great wrong. Trying to think it over made her head hurt worse than it already did.
"Darling." Reinette croaked out, her voice barely a whisper, but Zoe heard her and was at her side in an instant, brown eyes crinkling with concern. Her hand stretched out to touch her forehead but remembering the irritability from earlier, so she diverted and stroked her hair back instead.
Reinette leaned into the touch.
"Do you need some water?" Zoe asked.
"I need you to sit with me."
Her head pounded like a thousand military drums, and her throat was raw and scratchy from all of her coughing. She just wanted to sleep, but it was impossible as the pains of her body let her stand on the edge of sleep and yet kept pulling her back with a painful throb or a slow wave of thousands of tiny glass shards that dug into her muscles when she coughed.
"That I can do."
Zoe climbed on top of the covers and situated herself next to Reinette. She lifted an arm and Reinette shuffled into the space carved out for her against Zoe's body, fitting into her easily, as though she was made for that very spot. She breathed out a soft sigh of comfort and curled her body into Zoe's, cheek resting against her breast, her arm across her waist. The steady thump-thump of the heart beneath her cheek somehow softened the pounding in her head and tears of relief sprung to her eyes.
"That's better." Reinette murmured, and Zoe's fingers gently massaged at her temple, easing some of the pain from her skull. She stroked at the hip beneath the white nightgown and was happy to lie there, hoping sleep would take her soon. "Are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" Zoe asked, voice filled with baffled amusement. "Of course I am, you silly thing."
"You've been quiet since you got back from your ride." She murmured, fingers tracing patterns against Zoe's hip. "You haven't complained about Louis once. It's disconcerting."
"Sorry." She apologised after a moment of silence. "I –I've been thinking about something. It's been on my mind for a while, and Louis helped me with it."
"Mmm?" Reinette replied, interested as whilst Zoe liked Louis a lot, he also wasn't her first port of call for advice: that was Queen Maríe. "That sounds like a story."
"A story, huh?" Zoe teased gently, mind working to find an opportunity for the question she wanted to ask. "Want me to tell you one?"
"Please."
Zoe softly stroked her fingers through Reinette's sweat-dampened hair. She closed her eyes and gathered her courage.
"Once upon a time, there was a young girl from London who ran away to the stars with a madman in a blue box. She saw wonders that she never believed existed, and horrors that left her sleepless and scared. She walked on planets where diamonds grew on trees, and she walked in the past as though it was nothing more than just opening the right door and stepping through. She loved her life and the adventures she had. She thought she was happier than she was ever going to be until, one day, she stepped aboard a spaceship and found a fireplace.
"It wasn't any old fireplace though. Not this one. This one was special. It was the doorway to the past, and framed in the doorway was a young girl who wasn't scared at finding a strange woman in her fireplace; or, of the clockwork robot under her bed. She was just curious and brave, and she fell in love with the fireplace woman from the stars.
"And when the fireplace woman fought the monsters and saved the day, trapping herself in a time and place that wasn't hers, this girl, who was now a woman, took her hand and opened her home and heart to her. The fireplace woman was sad that she was trapped: she missed her family and her life, and she didn't appreciate what the woman was doing for her, and so the two women argued. They made up when they fought aliens together and saved the poor children of Paris from being turned into energy and, on the bridge of another spaceship, looking down at the Earth, the fireplace woman realised what a fool she had been and vowed to do better.
"And although fireplace woman hadn't treated the woman well at all, she welcomed her back home and loved her despite her faults. The fireplace woman, who was often stupid, knew better than to let the chance slip from her fingers again and..."
Zoe trailed off, her courage deserting her at the last moment. Reinette looked up from her chest, sleep pulling at her eyes. "And what? What happens next?"
She swallowed, unusually afraid. Her heart pounded so painfully in her chest that Reinette pressed a hand over it. "Well...that depends on you."
A small furrow formed between Reinette's eyes. "I don't understand."
"I love you." Zoe said softly, their faces inches apart. "So much, and...what I want to say...I mean..." she blew out a sigh and gathered all the courage that she possessed. "Marry me."
Reinette stared at her, wide eyed and surprised, her tiredness chased away. "What?"
"I want to marry you, Reinette." Zoe repeated, the words spilling out of her desperately now that she'd started. "I know it's not the done thing in this time, but nothing about our relationship is particularly normal; and when the Doctor returns, we can get married legally in my time, or on another planet. Whatever you want. I just - I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want to marry you. So...yeah. Marry me."
"Oh, Zoe." Reinette whispered, tears in her eyes.
Fear struck at Zoe's heart. "It's fine if you don't want to. I understand it's a little strange for this time. I -"
"Shut up." Reinette said and Zoe sealed her lips shut. Her hot hand touched Zoe's cheek, tracing her features. "My darling...yes. Yes. Yes. Yes."
"Yes?" She asked, hope dawning across her face like a sunrise.
Reinette laughed.
"Yes!"