Breakfast that morning was too short. I was lost in thought the entire time, trying to figure out how to make things right. I couldn't try to talk to Ginny or anyone without something really valuable to give- otherwise I would just be shut out again.
"Astoria," said Daphne, taking a seat beside me.
"Morning," I grumbled.
"You look awful."
"Thanks."
Lips pursed, Daphne reached forward and began helping herself. She took hearty helpings of wholesome foods- eggs, fruit, wholegrain toast. Meanwhile, there was bacon and french toast on my plate. I wondered if I should try to eat healthier.
"How does it feel to almost done with school?" I asked, only half interested.
"Not too exciting. I'm immediately taking over the family business, so there won't be much rest."
"What exactly is the family business?"
"Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that. You'll find out quite shortly."
"Oh?"
"Indeed. You aren't familiar with business, I know, but I think you have the right aptitude for it."
"That's… actually really nice of you."
She shrugged, taking a sip of her morning tea. "Don't get used to it. I'm usually not."
I shrugged back at her, and drank some of my coffee.
"You seem troubled this morning," she said.
"Do I?" I asked, unsure if I could trust her with anything.
"Something to do with your blood-traitor friends?"
"Something like that," I replied, choosing my words carefully. "I made a mistake, other people got in trouble for it. I'm not sure I'm in it for the right reason."
Daphne scoffed. "The right reason? You'd be in idiot to get caught up in a war for no reason, just to help people you don't even know."
"I joined because I wanted to protect people I care about. Luna. My mom. Even Weasley. I wanted to do right by them," I replied, pushing a bit of egg around with my fork.
"I see," Daphne replied. "Loyalty. I can understand that."
"Can you?"
"I'm not incapable of love, Astoria," she said, less offended than I expected her to be. "But I choose who I love very carefully."
I shook my head. "I do too, usually. I think I forgot about it,only for a second. When Snape told me to do something, I did it, without hesitation. In that second, I wasn't thinking about anyone else."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Of course. There's no question."
Daphne held her tea close to her face, looking into the distance, thinking very hard about what to say. "Self preservation is a good thing," she finally said. "It's how human beings have survived for so long."
"That's not completely true," I argued. "Humans are the dominant species on this planet because we take care of each other. We do things to protect our loved ones... or even just for the greater good. If we were only looking out for ourselves, we'd be like any other animal."
Daphne nodded, still pensive. "An interesting idea."
"Miss Greengrass, and… Miss Greengrass," said Snape, apparently surprised to see us together.
"Good morning, sir," Daphne and I said.
"Were you looking for me, sir?" I asked.
"Indeed," Snape replied, producing a roll of parchment. "I have a task for you."
"Anything, sir."
He held out the roll of parchment. "It is my understanding that you have no morning classes. Deliver this to the proper address in Hogsmeade, and return with the reply."
"No problem," I replied, reaching for the roll.
Before I could take it, he pulled the letter back. "There is a reason I cannot send this via owl. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir," I replied.
He held the paper out to me again, and I took it, tucking it into my robes. "The dementors have been informed of your errand. Go now, waste no time."
"Yes sir."
He glanced between Daphne and I, as if he was still surprised, then turned and walked towards the staff table.
"How important you are," Daphne cooed. "Better not daly."
"I'll see you later," I replied, rising from my seat.
"Good luck."
I left through the front door and started on the familiar path to hogsmeade. Students weren't allowed to go the usual trip that year, so it had been a while. Nevertheless, I remembered it well.
It was still early and cool outside. Once there was enough distance between the dementors at the gate and I, it felt good to be outside. The castle seemed cramped lately.
Once I reached Hogsmeade, I was half tempted to spend some time wandering the now quiet village. Remembering what Snape had told me, I thought better of it.
He sent me to a room above the prancing pony. I could hear voices from inside. I paused a moment to listen.
"-up all bloody night," said a man. I recognized him as Professor Carrow. He sounded quite drunk.
"He's always giving me these daft errands. And I'll be up all night again."
"You shouldn't have drank so much," a second man droned. "You'll embarrass yourself even more."
"Come off it, Malfoy, we don't all live in mansions," Carrow replied. "Gotta get me kicks somehow."
Malfoy? A relative a Draco's?
"I'm not sure Madam Rosmerta would agree with you."
"She's a whore anyways."
I shook my head, took a breathe, and knocked.
"Thank heavens, someone to distract me from you," Malfoy said to Carrow, then called "Please come in."
I twisted the knob and entered. Carrow was seated in an armchair, pink-faced and glassy eyed. The second man was tall and trim, with long platinum hair. He was the spitting image of Draco- unfairly handsome, but somehow beaten-down. He could only be Draco's father.
"To whom to I owe the pleasure?" He asked. If he was annoyed, he wasn't showing it. He seemed as polite and cool as one could expect of a powerful pure-blooded patriarch.
"Astoria Greengrass sir," I said, extending my hand.
He took my hand and shook it daintily, in the old-fashioned way one would shake a lady's hand. "Lucius Malfoy, I'm familiar with your family."
"A pleasure sir."
"Likewise. How may I be of service?"
He was charming, yet still cold and distant. He really was quite handsome, distractingly so.
"Professor Snape sent me, he asked me to bring you this." I handed him the letter. "He also asked that you reply immediately."
"Thank you, Miss Greengrass," he said as he untied the parchment. "Please, take a seat. I apologize on behalf of my colleague."
I looked as professor carrow while I sat in the armchair near him. He snored loudly, fast asleep.
"I'll only be a moment," Malfoy said, sitting at the desk with a quill and parchment.
I smiled and nodded. I was in awe, he was so debonair. I reminded myself that he was a terrible racist.
"You know my son, Draco?" he said, reading at the same time.
"Yes sir, we're in the same house." I wondered how much I should let on to our relationship.
"I believe he has mentioned you before."
"Good things, I hope."
"Why yes, of course." He dipped his quill and began writing. "He seems to think highly of you."
"Oh, that's good to know," I said, feeling myself blush. How much did Lucius know?
"You are not from England, though?"
"No sir, I moved here almost four years ago. I'm from the United States."
"How interesting." He didn't say it outright, but I knew he was passing some kind of judgement.
Malfoy stood and rolled up the parchment, tying it by hand. Strange, wizards usually just used their wands for every tiny thing.
I rose as he approached, offering me the parchment. "It was pleasure, Miss Greengrass. I hope our families can be close in the future."
"I hope the same sir."
He opened the door for me. "Thank you, have a safe walk."
"Thank you sir," I replied, passing before him.
The door closed behind me. I wondered if Snape sent me just so I would meet Draco's father, or maybe he was giving me some sort of test. I asked questioned what sort of errands were keeping Carrow up all night. I half thought to open the letter and read it.
I tucked the roll into my pocket and started the walk back to Hogwarts. It wasn't even ten o'clock, and had already been a full day.