Chapter 37
Confronting the Truth
ooOOoo
The days leading up to Christmas flew by quickly. The students at Hogwarts were treated with visits from Harry Potter and Sirius Black in their Defence classes; the Aussie boys spent the week exploring Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade with Emily and Ginny and everyone else kept themselves busy preparing for Christmas Day with work, shopping, wrapping presents and for the visitors, lots of time relaxing and catching up on their sleep.
The night of their return from New York the boys and Tonks had agreed on their 'stories' to their partners. The girls had guessed correctly; apparently the boys had spent the weekend at The Notch, playing Quidditch, chess and drinking the odd bottle of Firewhisky or Goldie's Liquid Curse.
With an owl to everyone, they all got together that same Sunday night at The Burrow. Though the boys and Tonks were exhausted, they could hardly refuse. What excuse could they give? It turned out to be a good evening, despite their exhaustion. It seemed as though the girls had had a wonderful weekend at the spa and they made Tonks promise that work or no work, she was coming on the next girls weekend.
Of course, what was most surprising about that Sunday evening, to everyone, was that Remus and Tonks arrived together. No one said a word, but Harry and Sirius in particular were smirking throughout the evening.
'At least something good has come from our trip to New York,' Harry thought to himself.
So a week after the New York trip things seemed to settle down again.
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3.00am Friday 16th December… Whitehaven Tonks's home
Tonks was running. She turned around to see where her attacker was and an arm came towards her through the darkness. She stumbled and fell and as she scrabbled backwards out of its reach she came up against a dumpster. The arm reached for her and grabbed her…
"No!" cried out Tonks sitting up in bed suddenly.
"Tonks?" asked Remus startled awake by her cry. He sat up quickly and put his arms around her. She was shaking and shivering as if she was cold; but she wasn't. She felt as though she had a fever. He knew it would go away in time, but it was awful to see her so frightened by a dream. He'd offered to make the Dreamless Sleep potion a few days ago, but Tonks had refused.
"I'm an Auror. What would everyone think if they knew I couldn't handle a few nightmares?"
She'd been adamant... and had been having nightmares every night since the attack in New York.
"Shhhh," soothed Remus. "I'm here, it's okay, I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe again, Tonks."
Tonks wept into his chest, shaking. She took deep, ragged breaths, angry at herself for not having got past this already.
"Shhhh, it's okay," whispered Remus into her hair. "You're safe, I'm here…" Remus kept whispering soothingly to Tonks as he gently stroked her back, feeling the panic ebb away from her, feel the rhythm of her breathing settle again. He laid her back down and scrutinised her features carefully. Her eyes were closed, but tears were running down her cheeks. His heart clutched painfully in his chest to see her affected like this.
As her body relaxed again, Tonks opened her eyes to see Remus looking down at her, his face guilt ridden; of course this just made her cry again.
It seemed a never-ending cycle, one that neither of them were quite sure how to navigate, despite having previously survived dark times before.
It was another hour before Tonks settled back into a restful, undisturbed sleep.
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4.00am
At the same time in The Notch, Harry was wide awake - also unable to sleep.
He rolled onto his side to watch Ginny sleeping peacefully, a smile playing on her lips. Harry wondered fleetingly what she was dreaming about; though he wasn't really concerned since she wasn't having nightmares anymore.
Ironically, things in that respect seemed to have turned on their head; whereas before Ginny was the one with nightmares and no sleep, it was now Harry that was experiencing sleepless nights.
And though he felt some measure of closure after what had happened in New York - Ginny's rapist certainly couldn't harm anyone ever again - Harry was confused that his mind couldn't seem to let go of it. His mind kept playing things over in his head again and again. Though he hadn't seen the attack, he knew that Remus had heard most of it, and watching Remus listen to it had been horrible enough. And compounding that was an enormous amount of guilt over Tonks and what she had suffered.
He silently wondered, as he watched Ginny sleep, if he would ever stop acting rashly or selfishly as an adult. And though they had all said that they wouldn't have pursued this course of action if they'd known what was going to happen to Tonks, Harry even questioned this. They had all been so determined to make themselves feel better about what had happened to Ginny, and completely selfish to that end, that they hadn't really thought about what the consequences of their actions might have been.
Harry couldn't even image how Tonks was coping, if he was having trouble sleeping. He was just glad that Tonks now had Remus to confide in and take care of her. He'd seen her a couple of times during the week, and could read the tell-tale signs of lack of proper, restful sleep; knew it from his own and Ginny's experience too.
Knowing he wasn't going to be able to sleep, he quietly got out of bed and softly padded out to the lounge room. Summoning quill, ink and parchment, Harry sat down and without really thinking about it, wrote a letter to Professor Dumbledore. Though he hated to confide in anyone outside of the group that were involved, he suspected that Dumbledore would have something to say on the matter that would help put him at ease, or at least give him some clarity on the situation.
Without thinking too much about it, he finished writing the letter and called out softly to Hedwig, who was in her cage above the fireplace, and sent her off. He checked his watch: 4.06am. Time to try and sleep again. He slipped back into bed, all without waking Ginny, and moments later he was asleep.
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8.00am Friday 16th December…
Tap, tap… tap, tap, tap… Harry tossed and turned in his sleep, wanting to stave off the time where he had to wake up and get up. He forced his eyes open, wondering what had woken him.
As he began to waken up more fully, he sat up to hear the tap, tap, tap… again and turned his head to see a beautiful, glossy brown owl at the window. He got out of bed and opened the window for the owl, who flew in and then after landing on the bedside table, stuck his foot out so that Harry could untie the note that was attached to it, and then gracefully turned and flew back out the window to return home.
Harry opened the envelope to read a note from Professor Dumbledore.
"Harry?" asked Ginny sleepily. "Who's that from?"
Morning Harry,
Apologies for waking you when you apparently didn't get a lot of sleep last night, but I wanted to reply as early as possible.
In case Ginny is asking what's going on, tell her it's a note from me inviting you to a meeting tonight at Hogwarts - to discuss some business.
"It's a note from Professor Dumbledore. He's inviting me to a meeting at Hogwarts tonight to discuss some business."
If Ginny wants to come, she would be very welcome as a dinner guest in the Great Hall and then she and Professor Weasley will have a chance to catch up and also for Professor Weasley to show off her classroom.
"That sounds interesting. Can I come?" she smiled at him impishly.
"Yes, sure," replied Harry, trying to sound as normal as possible. "He says you're welcome to be a guest at dinner and then Hermione and you can catch up and reminisce for however long the meeting goes for."
"Does he say what it's about?"
"No, so it could be anything," said Harry, thinking quickly, "he's probably just wondering when I'm going to get back to work after having flittered around the world for three years." He looked her adoringly and smiled.
Meet me in the Room of Requirement at dinner time. See you then.
Warm regards,
Albus Dumbledore
"Well, yes, that's not a bad idea you know," laughed Ginny. "I can't have you living off the money I make from my music career you know! That just wouldn't be fair Mr Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes, not rising to the bait. "I'm just going to reply to Dumbledore, to let him know we'll both be there."
Leaving the bedroom and heading towards the lounge room, Harry sat down and quickly scribbled a reply. He sat by himself, nervous… he always got nervous to some extent when he was in Dumbledore's presence and tonight's meeting would be even more alarming than usual, for Harry.
He felt a little queasy, as he listened to Ginny in the kitchen; then he heard Ron's solid footsteps padding down the hallway to the kitchen and their usual bickering began. It was nice to hear the chatter, as he'd missed it whilst he'd been searching for Ginny, but it was also nice that for half the week, Ron stayed with Hermione at Hogwarts. It was a good arrangement for both of them; they got to be alone in her quarters at Hogwarts and when he was home with Harry and Ginny, Hermione could catch up on marking homework for her classes. So it worked great, because both couples got private time.
"Hey Harry, breakfast is ready!" yelled Ron from the kitchen.
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"I'll see you later," said Harry as he kissed Ginny goodbye at the entrance to the Great Hall, as Professor Weasley came down the staircase. He waved goodbye to them both as they wandered into the Great Hall, amidst a lot of whispering and staring.
"Evening Mr Potter!" cried out Jeremy, an enthusiastic student who looked like he was in first year, he was so tiny. He ran down the staircase and reached Harry in a flash.
"Evening Jeremy," replied Harry, smiling. "How's your Petrificus Totalus spell coming along?"
"I've almost got it," replied Jeremy, who was fairly bopping up and down on his heels in excitement to be talking to the famous Harry Potter.
"That's great. Just keep practicing, and remember what I said about the essence of magic?" Harry had enjoyed teaching DADA and especially the interaction with the students.
"Yes, sir. I have the power within me, I just have to learn how to focus it," recited Jeremy, smiling widely.
"Exactly," grinned Harry. Jeremy had just quoted him verbatim and it was a nice feeling. "Now, you should get in to dinner."
"Are you staying too?" Jeremy asked eagerly. "I saw Miss Weasley go in with Professor Weasley just a few moments ago.
"Yes, but I'm meeting with Professor Dumbledore. But how about you go up to Ginny and give her a message for me."
Jeremy's eyes opened so wide, they looked like they were about to pop out of his head. "Sure Mr Potter."
"Tell her that Mr Potter wanted to remind her to eat her vegetables, or she'll get in trouble," considered Harry with a straight face. "Go on."
He watched as Jeremy fairly ran the length of the Great Hall to the teachers' table and watched as he excused himself to Ginny and then give her the message. As he watched, Ginny stood up, grabbed her wand and pointed it down the hall aiming at Harry through the massive doors of the Great Hall, who ducked as the Bat Bogey Hex zoomed over his head and hit Mr Filch who had, right at that moment, approached the Hall and was standing right behind him.
Harry stood up and grinned at Ginny, who, along with Hermione and staff and students, was laughing hysterically, and removed the spell from Mr Filch, apologising profusely.
Mr Filch went back to his office, muttering how ex-students shouldn't ever be allowed back into the school again.
With a nod to Ginny and Hermione and a "Thanks Jeremy!" Harry left the Great Hall behind and went to upstairs to the Room of Requirement.
As he walked past the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy and the dancing trolls, a doorway appeared to Harry. He opened it and went through.
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"So, how's teaching going Hermione?"
Ginny and Hermione were chatting together at the end of the teachers table. Professor McGonagall had invited Ginny to catch up with the staff properly after dinner in the Teacher's Lounge, so that Hermione and she could chat away during dinner.
"I'm really loving it, Ginny," Hermione replied seriously. "I mean, I knew I'd enjoy it, but I guess I was always worried about how I'd go as a teacher, how I'd relate to the students, whether they'd like me, if I'd be any good at it."
Ginny's mouth just dropped in surprise. She'd never heard Hermione sound so unsure about her teaching before.
Seeing the look on Ginny's face, Hermione explained. "Oh, I'm not being deliberately self deprecating - though admittedly it sounds like it." She paused, smiling. "It's just been a steep learning curve, and with the fame attached to knowing you and Harry, and my part in the downfall of Voldemort… well let's just say it's been an interesting year so far."
Ginny nodded understandingly. She knew all about having an interesting year. She felt surprisingly content sitting in the Great Hall, though she'd never had this view before. She and Hermione finished dinner and wandered over to the Gryffindor table to sit and chat with the students.
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Harry closed the door to the Room of Requirement behind him and looked around in surprise.
Standing around the room was the entire male Weasley clan except Arthur, the three Aussie boys, Remus, Sirius and Tonks.
"Oh, not you too!" said George in disgust.
"What?" responded Harry. "I'm just here for a - "
" - meeting with Dumbledore," muttered Ron sardonically. "Yes, we know."
Harry looked confused, not understanding what was going on, until it suddenly dawned on him…
"There you go!" cried Charlie exasperatedly, pointing at Harry and then snapping his fingers. "He figured it out a damn sight quicker than the rest of you lot."
"You didn't Harry, did you?" asked Ron, his brow furrowed and crossed his arms.
"Well, I obviously wasn't the only one," shot back Harry, not looking amused.
"Would someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" snapped Sirius, who was, along with Remus and Tonks, looking thoroughly confused.
Harry turned to his godfather, his arms crossed over his chest and, his voice defeated, explained how he had written to Dumbledore last night seeking advice and had been invited to meet with him tonight.
"And I can only assume that everyone else wrote as well, seeking advice," said Harry shrugging his shoulders. "But if that's the case, how did you get here Sirius?"
"I received an owl from him around midday today requesting that I attend a meeting tonight."
"As did Tonks and I," Remus interposed smoothly.
"But you three didn't write to him?" asked Bill, his brow knotted in confusion.
"Nope," replied Sirius.
"Did anyone tell him what it was about?" asked Shane quizzically.
"And how did you get here?" interrupted Percy looking at the three Aussie boys curiously.
"Well, Dumbledore came over to The Burrow under the pretence of needing to speak to Arthur and he discreetly gave us a portkey and a note with directions on it, which told us when it would be activated and where it would bring us and that he would meet us at the main entrance," explained Phil.
"And no Shane, I didn't mention what it was about specifically," Harry sighed, everyone else nodding their heads in agreement.
"But he must have figured it out or why else would Tonks have been asked to come tonight," Bill suggested.
"And figure it out I did," said a soft, gentle voice from somewhere behind Harry.
Harry turned around and into the room came Professor Dumbledore, his sweeping robes as fancy and elegant as always, his wizard's hat nicely crooked, his eyes twinkling and kind.
With a flick of his wrist, the lighting became brighter to illuminate a number of couches, beanbags and comfy chairs off to one side. Inclining his head, Professor Dumbledore indicated that everyone should take a seat. Once everyone was seated, he conjured his own special comfy, chintz chair and sat down, gazing around somewhat expectantly at the group before him.
"I must say, if your situation weren't so serious, this would be quite amusing you know," remarked Dumbledore amiably. "To have received so many communications in one week is just about unheard of, even with my busy schedule and commitments outside of Hogwarts, but then again," he paused, looking at all of them in turn, his voice softening, "you are a remarkable group of men, and you too Nymphadora."
"I feel I should be the one to explain, Albus," Sirius began haltingly.
Harry grinned to himself. Was there anyone who didn't get nervous in Dumbledore's presence?
"About what?" asked Professor Dumbledore surprised. "It only took a little detective work to deduce what has happened and why you then all felt compelled to seek advice on how best to go forward."
Everyone was silent. They looked at each other, unsure of how to proceed, when Professor Dumbledore spoke again.
"The need for revenge is powerful, and though I'm not comparing any of you to Voldemort, I will use him as an example.
"His downfall was a direct result of his inability to foresee the consequences of his actions. He couldn't see past his need for revenge against Harry. But he had no conscience, no heart or soul," continued Professor Dumbledore somberly. "And though you couldn't have foreseen the consequences of your actions, I know you were ultimately driven out of love and loyalty to Ginny and to each other."
The twins fiddled with their shoelaces. Harry and Sirius hung their heads in shame, and everyone else just looked lost.
"Again, I do not compare anyone in this room to Voldemort. No. I would never disrespect what you have accomplished in that way. You are an exceptional group of people, including all your wives and girlfriends, and you deserve to move on from the darkness in your lives." Professor Dumbledore finished speaking and looked at all of them in turn.
"The reason I asked Tonks to be here this evening, is not to add more guilt on your shoulders. This is her journey too now and she will heal easier if she knows that you are all healing and moving on too."
Harry risked a glance at Tonks, whose eyes were bright, and her little, pale hand was clasped tightly in Remus's. He leaned over and caught her other hand in his, squeezing it gently, before letting go.
"So, let us get down to it, shall we?" continued Professor Dumbledore easily. "I know you all feel guilt about Nymphadora; you all feel responsible for the events that took place in New York. You are all angry at what happened to Ginny, though probably not as angry as Harry feels about it." He paused momentarily, glancing at each of them in turn.
"I know you all want me to say something to make you feel better, not only about what's happened, but to confirm that your actions were just and right. I know you want guidance to help you all to move forward, to move on in your lives as you all have a right to do." Another pause.
"But I can't."
The only ones who didn't looked totally shocked were Sirius and Remus. Even Tonks looked a little stunned at Professor Dumbledore's statement. No one moved a muscle, until Ron suddenly moved. "What do you mean, you can't?"
"Ron!" Percy exclaimed. "Remember who you're talking to."
"It's alright Percy," Professor Dumbledore said, smiling just a little. "I did anticipate this reaction."
"I'm sorry Professor," apologised Ron, "but why bring us here only to tell us that you can't help us?" He locked eyes with the wise wizard trying to figure out what he was thinking. "Or is it that you won't help us?"
Fred and George looked at their younger brother in surprise… the little pearls of wisdom he was coming out with were quite surprising. However, it did serve to remind them that he was an adult now too - and married at that.
"Your insight is scaring the hell out of us Ron," Fred joked.
"Anyone would think you were a grown man," George added, grinning.
"Are you two ever serious about anything?" asked Bill, who couldn't believe he was still related to the twins.
"Of course!" admonished Fred, acting hurt. Then he sobered immediately. "We're not sleeping either, remember?"
"If you've finished," interrupted Percy, getting irritated by the bantering of his siblings. "Please let Professor Dumbledore finish." Everyone looked back to their former Headmaster.
"Well, I guess that won't is probably more accurate."
"Why?" asked Harry quietly, effectively silencing further comments.
"You know why. You already know the answer to the question, Harry," replied Professor Dumbledore gently, serenely folding his hands in his lap, returning Harry's penetrating gaze.
There was silence as everyone contemplated this statement and watched for Harry's reaction to it. It was probably a full two minutes before Harry shifted in his beanbag at Tonks's feet and spoke again.
"You really think we should?' he asked Dumbledore.
"Yes, I do," came the quiet response from the Professor.
"What? What is it Harry?" asked Charlie somewhat urgently.
"The only way that we can move forward," replied Harry, watching Professor Dumbledore whilst he spoke, "is to tell Ginny what we've done, because it's not what we've done as much as the fact that we are keeping it from her and therein lies the weight of the guilt we're all feeling; because we know we'll feel it every time we see Tonks and we'll know that we're hiding something from Ginny every time we see her. The only way to absolve ourselves from the guilt of everything is to be honest with her about what we've done."
"Bloody hell," Ron exclaimed, "you've got to be joking?"
"No, he's not," said Sirius, seriously. "Albus and Harry are right. We have somehow managed to disregard the most important factor of all - Ginny."
"I know this is going to be difficult for all of you," Dumbledore spoke again, addressing all of them in turn, "and it will mean reliving it again for everyone present tonight, especially for you Tonks. When Ginny learns of what has been done of her behalf - she will want details and she deserves truth and honesty from everyone. I think it would be wise for both of you, Tonks, to talk about these events at length. Nothing like a good therapy session to help cure all ills." Professor Dumbledore stood and gazed at the group serenely, a gentle, caring smile lighting his features.
"Now I would like to see Harry, Sirius, Remus and Tonks in private after this meeting if you have time," he looked at them enquiringly. They nodded their agreement.
"I want you all to remember something," he paused as if trying to formulate what he wanted to say next very carefully. "You are an extraordinary group of people, who have endured an extraordinary amount in their relatively short lives. I hold you all in the highest regard, including our Australian friends, for what you have done. I know you did this with hearts pure and full of good intentions and that is how Ginny will see it, eventually. As will all your partners. Expect fireworks…" his eyes twinkled, "tears," the corner of his mouth cricked up in the tiniest of smirks, "and then expect gratitude for the wonderful men that you are. Don't dwell on this too long," Dumbledore reminded them, "you all have so much yet to do in your lives," he paused and then as he got to the door he turned to face them once more.
"If for no other reason, don't you all want to get past this to see Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup this year? It's been a wonderful season so far." He smiled genially at everyone; care and affection for them showing clearly on his older, mature features. "I'll be in my office whenever you're ready," he added, speaking to Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Harry. "Oh and one more thing." Everyone waited, wondering what else there was to say. "My only suggestion is that you tell each of your partners privately and not as a group. I would avoid a group discussion purely for emotional reasons. The rest will fall into place and then all will be right in the world.
"Ron if you could let Ginny know that Harry will be a little longer, that would be most appreciated." And on that note, Professor Dumbledore opened the door and walked out of the Room of Requirements and left the group alone.