Ok so much stuff has been going on and I want to make this AN like four pages long with just dumping my life on you, but I won't do that.

I have a message to you peoples.

Yes I am hyper aware of the length of this story. Yeah it is going on for too long. But don't fret (please) I'm not just going to just wing it anymore- I actually have a plot now! :P And you've only got like three or four chapters left (yes I know I said this in like the 8th chapter) But this story has been like… (And please don't be grossed out) it's been like throwing up. [Not in a bad way] I mean your body decides when you're done throwing up, not when you want to, the same thing with writing this. I have a strong feeling my conscious will finally let me finish with a sense of satisfaction and completion.

And I'm sorry about this chapter, I truly am. You'll see why. –cough- angst –cough- but not a lot.

L POV one week later.

This was going on longer than I'd assumed. And it was grating on my nerves.

Dean has been gone a week- Edward and Alice had said that Dean needed "time", but they hadn't specifically how much time. I loved Dean, and I wasn't sure how much longer it would take before I literally ripped my own hair out. I could just imagine what he was doing right now. Sitting in his room. Trying to collect his thoughts. Sigh.

Seriously I needed some kind of reassurance that he was coming back.

"Aunt Alice?" I called softly through the house.

Aunt Alice came in through the doorway with her usual grace in every step.

"Yes Honey?" She asked sitting next to me on the bed.

"Can… can we please go to La Push? I just really need to see Dean. Please?" I pleaded, not raising my voice any higher than I had in calling her, I didn't want the hope I desperately felt to show through my voice. It would only make me vulnerable. And that was the last thing I needed.

Her expression became contemplative and frankly torn. "I guess I could take you to the border… but I think it'd be best if I didn't cross it." She compromised. My heart fluttered as I felt the warmth and anticipation fill every inch of my body.

"Oh thank you Auntie Alice!" I exclaimed while throwing my arms around her stone cold neck. She silently grabbed my hand in her tiny one and led me downstairs; I could feel myself getting more excited by the second.

I started thinking about what I would do when I saw him, what would happen? Would I scare him off? Would he be happy to see me? That would have put a downer on my mood if I hadn't had such a strong impulse of joy coursing through my veins at the moment. I was practically skipping through the rain, and if Auntie Alice hadn't put me in the car, I probably would have gladly skipped to La Push singing happily as if it were a bright, sunny day.

She had a worried look on her face as she drove, but I didn't take any notice to it, I was far too gone in my own little fantasy world of Dean to care if we drove off a cliff, or killed someone for that matter.

I started to think about all the little things about Dean I'd missed the most. The way he would stroke my cheek gingerly, the way he laughed when I was really confused about something, the way he sort of coward when Edward would send him that all too famous death stare. I sighed in contentment and sank deeper into the leather of the car and took in the sweet scent of vampire, pretending it was the smell I really wished to smell. I started clenching the seat and unclenching it as II stared out the window trying to decipher where we were and how much longer it would take to get to there. However, the thick blanket of icy rain was like having a dark box enclosed around our car.

The car finally started slowing and eventually came to a stop; Aunt Alice silently reached across me and opened the door leading out into the pouring rain. I was about to step out and run through the water, until I stole a glance at Aunt Alice. She had a strange look on her face; it looked like she was staring straight at something in the forest to my right. I slowly turned my head, and tried to search for what had captured her interest. Nothing.

"Aunt Alice? What's wrong?" I asked, a little bit of pure fear filling my voice. The complete elation that had engulfed me only a few moments before slowly melted away as I felt the blood leave my face when she didn't respond.

"Just stay here Lizzy. You'll find out in a minute." She responded after a good two minutes, of her just glaring out into the towering trees. I decided to close to the door, I was getting soaked. My eyes frantically looked around the dark car, as if something was going to jump out and scare me if I wasn't hyper alert.

"Lizzy, look out your window." Aunt Alice said solemnly. I slowly turned my head to my window. I didn't know what to expect. A swamp monster? Big foot?... Jacob?.... I banned that thought from my head the second it had reared its ugly head. I got around to looking- and almost had a heart attack.

Uncle Seth was standing outside my window in the rain with his hands cupped over the window with him staring right into my crazed eyes.

I shoved open the door and let him peek his head inside. "Uncle Seth? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Um…" I looked around. "It's sort of a car…." I said confused. Aunt Alice turned and unlocked the backseat door and motioned for him to go inside.

When he was in the car I spoke up. "What's going on?" I asked, my voice like a grave.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said, linking and unlinking his fingers and staring anxiously out the window.

"Uncle Seth, what were you doing?"

"I was in my wolf form while everyone else went home, we had another pack meeting- just Lizzy you need to get out of here, all the Cullens need to."

"Why?" Aunt Alice cut in, her eyes suddenly blazing with worry.

"Just… I can't tell you."

"Why?" I asked, repeating Aunt Alice's question. "I'm just here to see Dean." I said desperately, I needed someone to give me a sense of security.

He turned his head to look me in the eyes. "You…. You don't know do you?" He asked softly.

"Know what? What don't I know Uncle Seth?" I asked, my stomach started doing back flips, I had a horrible feeling my whole world was about to come crashing down.

"Dean…. He's not here." He said in an even quieter voice.

"Not here? What do you mean 'not here'?" I asked, I refused to let my brain register what he was saying, he was going to spell it out for me.

"Dean…. He's gone…" He admitted. "As in not here, as in away, as in… well I don't know how else to put it Liz."

"No… please… no…." I begged, my head falling into my hands. This wasn't happening to me.

"But seriously, listen, you've all got to leave- like soon." He pushed.

"Why? Why would we leave if you can't even tell us why?" Aunt Alice pushed harder, I was far beyond words.

"I just can't…. " His eyes shot up and he practically pressed his face up against the window.

"You've got to go- Now." He said as he leapt out the door and into the freezing rain. My vision went red and hazy as the car increased in speed. Only one thing was going through my mind. Something I never thought I'd ever say.

He's gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

D POV

I looked up at the northern lights from my little pile of leaves I had substituted for a bed; I had changed from my wolf form into my human form. The pack's pleas and cries of trying to get me back home were all in vain. I wasn't going back until I was sure I wouldn't hurt someone again.

The training hadn't been… that brutal. I mean I've sure as hell gotten better, because I wasn't fighting the vampire scent anymore; I was embracing it, but with every whiff of their scent, brought me back to the Cullens. The training was especially because Lizzy had always been the thing to get my emotions back in check. I no longer had her. I was going to have to climb this mountain alone.

I loved her…. but I couldn't dwell on her. I had to train and get stronger. For her sake- our sake.

I was utterly shocked when I'd found Rosalie here, I'd known she was gone but I had no idea she was here. When she saw me, she automatically scoffed and made her way back into the house with a 'can't get away from these dogs' comment. I tended to ignore her. She thought she was God's gift to the world. And I doubted anything I said or did would change that impression of herself.

Speak of the devil! I thought humorlessly as I felt her footsteps come towards me, she was running. I stood up, not knowing what to expect.

She stopped in front of me for a mere second before raising her nose up in the air, and continued running right past me. What was her deal? She was going south… I didn't let the thought linger any longer in my head before I took off running in the opposite direction, and letting my body do it's magic and letting me transform into a more primal state. I needed to be someone different… for just a little bit.

If every time I phased, my mind was silent- I would be able to live in peace. But of course fate hated me so I wasn't granted that wish.

DEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seth's mental voice was screaming, shattering my mental eardrums.

What? I spat.

Dude, you've got to come back! He pleaded.

I've heard this all before Seth, you just sound like a broken record. I sighed.

No I'm serious! Whatever teenage hormonal phase you're going through right- needs to end. Now.

And why is that exactly? I asked.

Oh no reason really… I just really doubt that you'd be willing to attack the Cullens is all. He said nonchalantly.

What?!

When Edward turned Bella- it broke the treaty, and I doubt they'll leave anytime soon, and I also doubt Sam will let you pass on the attack.

Aw come on this is JUST what I need right now! Tell Sam he can't attack!

I'm not sure what kind of fantasy world you live in if you think that I can stop Sam from doing his job as the Alpha.

They wouldn't dare touch Lizzy.

You're right. But they wouldn't hesitate to slaughter her family.

…. I had nothing to say.

Look…. Also… you're really taking your toll on Lizzy. She looks like the living dead.

Why?

Ok seriously how freaking blind are you? She came to see you today. She didn't think you'd left for good. She… I don't know how much more she can bend before she breaks man. With all this shit with Jacob… I'm not sure what she'll do. You need to be her crutch for awhile, and you being halfway across the continent isn't helping much.

But-

Listen the fact of the matter is her whole life is endanger. You can either be a man and step up the plate- or be a whiny little tween and run and hide.

Why was he doing this to me?

Sorry for the harshness, but the situation is too serious for me to baby you.

But Seth… if I don't see this through-

Stop thinking about the 'what if's', there's no time for doubts. Now is the time to prove yourself.

I hate you.

Good, I don't expect you to love me right now.

Ok now you can hate me if you wanna- but I decided I couldn't take anymore angst myself so isn't it obvious what dean's choice will be? Yeah I don't like it when my characters are sad…. Ok well until next time!