15th July 2005
Mycroft's POV
He had slept for a few hours, had a very awkward meal with his brother and then left for work. He hasn't left work since. He spent the last two days getting all the paperwork down and making arrangements to be away from work for two weeks. Anna helps as much as she can by doing proof reading of document and research for non-verbal communication that she has complied for him. He's always been good at reading people, so it is bothering him how horribly he has done with his brother.

You actually have to be there to read him, a traitorous part of his mind reminds him, you made it your life goal to avoid him from age ten on.

As much as he hates to admit it's the truth, he has to if he wants any hope of being there for Sherlock.

"Sir?" his PA comments, drawing his attention and making him realize that she has said it more than once.

"Yes?" he queries, still distracted.

"Everything you set out to complete before leaving for your vacation is done." She replies, holding the last packet for him to review one last time and sign.

"Thank you," he tells her, accepting the packet.

"Can I give you some advice?" She asks softly.

He nods, waiting to see what she has to say.

"Write your brother a series of letters. Start when he was born: what did you feel, what did you think. Work your way to where we are now. Don't try to mask the emotions, because that will just come across as insincere. Expect to be on the defensive but do not let it make you a bully." She smiles at him, "You're one of the smartest people I know, but sometimes you let your head get in the way. You can't do that with family."

Eyeing her curiously, he comments, "Sounds like you've had to deal with something similar on a personal level."

A huff of laughter escapes her, "I did, I have an older sister who had some issues because of our older brother. It was a rough time. Of course, I was ten when they were nineteen and twenty-three."

He nods again, accepting the advice and deciding to do just that. He had already considered writing one letter. How much harder could it be to write several?

"Thank you," he tells her with a small smile.

She nods, "I hope it works out for you and him."

"Me too," he replies, mind trying to flesh out what to say.

"When you're writing those letters to Sherlock, don't over think it. Just put the pen t paper and write," she tells him before turning to leave, "Do you need anything else before I go?"

"If you could have the service bring a fresh pot of tea that would be appreciated," he answers, pulling paper and pens out of his desk.

It's been a long time since he just wrote something without thinking it through multiple times. Start at Sherlock's birth and work his way to now? Communicate his thoughts and feelings without blaming his brother or making the letters seem judgmental? He can do this. It's no harder than trying to get four different countries who hate each other's diplomats to work together and think it's their choice. The only difference is he actually has a personal effect on this.

With that in mind, he sets to carefully writing out each letter.

The ones when he was a child are the fastest. He can so easily remember his confusion about why his parents wanted another child and the pleasure at the idea he'd be someone's brother. He can remember how long it took Sherlock to walk and talk. How so very slow his brother had been compared to him, at least that how it felt. That was the beginning of his pulling away from his brother.

His teenage years are harder. He resented Sherlock. As much as he wants to blame his brother, he can't if he is being honest. There was no logic behind his resentment. There was no reason for it at all. Their parents preferred praising him and criticizing his brother. Sherlock didn't skip as many years as he did. His brother wasn't a threat to his social standing. There's no good reason for how he felt, it's simply how he felt. Those feelings seemed to get worse when he decided on his major, and decided that his little brother was a liability, so he was going to cut Sherlock from his life.

After that, as he enters the late teens part of his life and his early years working, the letters get a lot harder. Now he has to repeatedly redo many of them in order to meet the directives he's been given. As he does so, he realizes exactly why Sherlock asked all of the questions he asked. Almost all of them related to the simple question of why.

Taking a deep breath, he glances at the clock and drops his pen in shock. He's been working on these letters for the last five hours. His pot of tea is empty and his back has a kink he just realized is there from sitting still so long.

There is only one letter left. The one explaining how he felt finding his brother dying, what it has been like watching this wraith that used to be a vibrant young man full of so much promise and potential, the hardest letter in the set. It's the one that needs to be written the most.

Standing, he stretches for a moment before calling the kitchen for more tea. He's determined not to go home until he has all the letters ready. So he has to write the last one no matter how much he wants to avoid having to discuss something that is such a sore topic for him. It's going to be difficult but he's going to do it anyways because at the end of the day, he wants Sherlock to get better and that doesn't happen if they can't resolve some of their difficulties.

Sitting back down, he grabs the pen and a blank sheet of paper. It's time to begin.

There's a bit of an update to my updating schedule, it won't affect this story, but it affects the rest of them. Since reviews have dropped since I went on a regular schedule, I am going to switch back to updating as I get things done and have focus instead. However I also plan to try and complete each story, or as complete as I possibly can without feedback before I begin posting. Once I get the story ready, when it would have originally be updated on the schedule is when I will update it. I still won't be doing more than two stories any given day, disregarding tumblr prompts.

I write do commissions for those who are interested, the info can be found on my tumblr JaimiStoryTeller under Donations, Commissions, and Cosmos

I love reviews, comments, and any other sort of communication, feel free to stop in to say hi