Remus

It couldn't be true it just couldn't! It was all a misunderstanding, an error in judgment is all. That's right; it could have been a huge mistake! I mean who wants to kill them? They did absolutely nothing wrong, so thinking logically it is all a lie, some sick joke! That's it a sick, cruel, joke.

"Mr. Lupin, I'm terribly sorry for your-"

I put my hand up avoiding eye contact from the blue hues hiding behind half moon specks.

"Don't say lost, because then it becomes real."

Dumbledore turned to Reid.

"Miss Maxwell, I understand that you have grown fond to the Lupins as well, and for that I am-"

Reid hugged Dumbledore tight and sighed heavily.

"We're going to be alright, we're going to be okay, we're just going to need a lot of time, lots and lots of it, thank you."

His eyes twinkled and he said;

"Hogwarts will always be home to those who find it, don't forget that."

She nodded.

I was wondering what did that have to do with my parent's death.

I was also wondering what Death Eaters could possibly want with my parents. They were simple muggle hippies, who did nothing wrong they just mind their own business, so why did they have to go?

Without a warning I bolted from the room. I could feel my fury boiling inside me; it would not be good to explode in his office the full moon was arriving early this month. And this news just made my genetics even worst, I felt my heart throb and drop I hastily clutched my chest, I felt like my insides were twisting. I limped all the way over to the Shrinking Shack, went through the secret passageway and collapsed onto my shredded mattress.

Immediately, my thoughts went straight to my parents. They met when they were twelve; both grew up in Middlesex, coming from lower middle class families that wanted their daughter to be a housewife and their son a Doctor. My parents were always activists for animals and the environment, at fifteen my parents ran away from their demanding parents and eloped in secret, mum had me shortly after in 1960. We were living in the Volkswagen van traveling around from different communes, we went to Woodstock when I was nine, and although I thought that some of our travels were insensible I miss them so very much.

I looked down at the brown beaded bracelet with the silver crescent charm around my arm, it had letter charms that spelled out moonchild, mum made this for me when I was 3. I fumbled with the necklace underneath my layers of tops, it was a silver moon tied on a brown rope. Mum made this when I was nine, back in Woodstock.

I started to think about her smell, incense and tea and how she knit things for me and wrapped me in warmth. Her gentle kisses and the way she made me feel special and her endless 'I love yous', her melodic voice harmonizing with Dad's guitar. She was just such a wonderfully kind person; I miss my mum I lost her.

I lost Dad too; I lost his marijuana smell that gradually became comfortable.

I lost them, and never coming back.

I looked around the dismantled shack, it was so broken and wrecked, bamboozled, and throttled, old furniture misplaced and mistreated all because of my monthly occurrence. All because I am a monster. A wet, warm tear slid down my cheek like a slope as my heart slammed against my ribcage in a rickety fashion. It felt like something was stuck inside my throat, my limbs were numb unable to move, my mind was running down memory lane like someone hit the fast forward button and its all going all too fast, it's all going way too fast…

"Come back." I silently choke.

"They didn't deserve it Remus."

Sirius stepped into the room on the creaky floorboard. His silver eyes were grieving with sympathy, that's the last thing I wanted.

"Go away." I sobbed.

He looked around the room and rubbed his fingers on the sickly green-grey walls.

"It's getting blacker every day, it's filthy."

"Honestly? You're going to complain about the hygiene of this damn shack at a time like this?" I spat.

"I wasn't talking about the shack Remus; I was talking about the world, the death eaters, what Voldemort has done."

"We can't stop him, he's getting stronger." I croaked.

I felt Sirius touch my hair and shrugged him aggressively off.

"GET OFF ME!"

He looked bewildered for a moment but then regained back his wreaking confidence, he gained a nerve and grabbed my shoulders roughly and pulled me up off of the rotting mattress and pushed me against the wall. His silver eyes turning into a darker grey while his overgrown dark hair fell in his face.

"Tell yourself whatever you like Remus, but make it quick, because your future wife and mother of your child is dying with worry out there and on top of that did you even give a damn about how she is feeling right now?"

No…I didn't, Reid…

"You're daughter will not remember her grandparents, so you're not the only one losing them."

I screamed.

"AHHHHHH!"

And punched Sirius in the nose so hard he went flying and blood poured from his nose.

Sirius got up and wiped his nose, I ran over to him and threw my arms around him and he did the same, we hugged tightly and I cried into his shoulder as he patted my head.

"I'm sorry." I cried.

"Remember Remus, the more you doubt, the more you give in, the more you let him win, he will and you will lose more than your parents."

"Sirius, I'm scared."

"Believe me Remus, we all are"

Mother, you had me but I never had you,
I wanted you but you didn't want me,
So I got to tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Farther, you left me but I never left you,
I needed you but you didn't need me,
So I got to tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Children, don't do what I have done,
I couldn't walk and I tried to run,
So I got to tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home.
Mama don't go,
Daddy come home...