Deceiving Appearance

July 2017 New York

Two days later, Logan, Rory, and Hayden left for their trip to New York. Although it was only going to be for five days, Rory was in tears anyway. With the car packed and Hayden safely secured in the backseat, Rory and Logan said their goodbyes to Lorelai and Luke and headed out of town. The traffic was typical with a few construction delays allowing them to arrive in the City by mid-afternoon. Once parked in front of Logan's apartment building, he instructed Rory to take the baby in while he and the doorman took care of their possessions. Rory walked into Logan's apartment surprised to find that it was already set up for Hayden; there was a crib in the corner of the bedroom, while stuffed animals covered the bed, and found a box full of baby care supplies on the kitchen counter. All they had to do was unpack the things they brought from Stars Hollow and Hayden would be all settled in. "How did this happen?" She asked Logan when he walked into the apartment. "Had this taken care of yesterday. I figured it would be better to be ready." Logan responded matter-a-factly.

Because he was in the midst of processing his newly formed thoughts about his and Rory's relationship, Logan continued to be polite but distant. Other than Hayden related conversations, they had very little to say to each other. Try as she might to get Logan to warm up, Rory gave up on trying to figure out what was going on in Logan's head. When he's ready, she thought, he will talk.

The next day, Logan took Hayden for the afternoon to visit his office and introduce him to his colleagues on his own, an outing for which Rory was conspicuously not invited. Rory instead took the time called and made appointments with nanny agencies and searched for a decent apartment in the surrounding neighborhoods. She was able to locate some good prospects, all within a 30-minute walk to Logan's neighborhood. That evening, after dinner and their usual goodnight ritual, it was time for Rory to leave.

"Ok, so I pumped enough milk and should last you for the night if there isn't I took out some frozen packs and put them in the fridge."

"Thanks, and don't worry."

"Easier said than done."

Rory took one last look at her son then walked away. Logan walked her to the door. "Call me if there is any trouble and I will be back right away,"

"I will."

"Ok" Rory exited quickly so not to let Logan see her cry.

Later, dressed in her pajamas and eating chips and salsa, Rory settled in Paris and Doyle's place. Doyle and the kids have long gone to bed, leaving Paris and Rory up for the night. Rory missed Hayden terribly and was glad that she had Paris to talk to. That night, Rory caught Paris up on the past month. They discussed the baby, how life was going so far and milestones to look out for in the coming months. They talked about her job prospects and her possibly joining the Huntzberger Media Group. They also talked about Logan and his weird attitude over the last two days.

"You know he's in lo..."

"Stop! I know what you're going to say."

"You know I am right...You know what you need? Some wine."

"I'm breastfeeding."

"Not tonight! Pump and dump baby!"

Paris got out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Rory downed her first glass."

"Oh, that felt good," Rory exclaimed.

"Have you had a drink since you delivered?"

"Nope."

"Well welcome back! So PR with the Huntzberger Media Group..."

"Yup."

"Sounds like fun."

"It could be. It's the other side of journalism in lots of ways. The field is filled with former journalists."

"I know, and you would be great at it. It's just...The Huntzberger Media Group."

"I know. It is practical, right? It's the choice you make to benefit your family. Not my dream job, but who really is in their dream job? Lots of people are in it to keep things going. My mom for Pete's sake worked as a maid. A PR job at a prestigious company is nothing to sneeze at. "

"And you're sure about turning down Naomi?"

"Yes. It just won't work. You know, two years ago being in this position job wise would have been the greatest thing ever. Now, it's bereft with anxiety."

"A baby changes everything."

"You know what's funny, there's that pull to chuck it all and just stay home and take care of the baby. If you asked me about being a stay at home mom 10 years ago I would have said absolutely not. Now? I started crying just leaving him tonight. Must be the hormones."

"Could you do that?" "What? No, that would mean Logan would be taking care of everything. I can't do that in good conscience."

"What about letting him take care of most of the expenses baby wise and you freelancing?"

"That would be unfair time wise and financially."

'Not necessarily. If you stay home, take care of Hayden, I mean you calculated it yourself, you are saving $45K minimum a year. That's not small change. If you factor in also the cost of commuting, eating out, hiring help for other things that you would probably not have time for like housekeeping, grocery delivery, laundry, expenses add up. What's the point of drawing a paycheck if 90% of it goes to paying someone to do tasks you could do yourself? I would run the numbers. As for time? Renegotiate the custody agreement. It's not like you guys are fighting in that area."

"I think that scenario would work out better if we were married."

'True."

"You sound like you've thought about this in great detail."

"Oh yes. After the first one was born I seriously considered putting the career on hold and staying home. After all, I was raised by a nanny, and part of me didn't want that."

"So what changed your mind?"

"Getting real about who I am. Really, me? In Mommy and Me classes? Hanging out and arranging playdates? Making homemade baby food. Kudos to the woman who can do that, because for me I would kill everyone in a week. I'm not the stay home type."

"True. Any guilt feelings?"

"Initially, I mean I thought there was something wrong with me like I lacked some gene. But, my kids are in good hands, Clementina loves them, they love her, I love her. And Doyle is very good at doing his part. He is more of the Mommy and Me/Gymboree type, yes surprising huh?"

"Very. I don't know. Women fought and are still fighting for a seat in the workplace. I feel like not working would be a setback."

"No and yes. Women fought for a seat at the table, but they also fought for the right to choose their own path. A stay at home mom is no less a feminist that one who chooses to go to work that is IF she makes that decision freely. Before the chance to decide was not there, it was the woman stays at home and the man works. Could you imagine Doyle doing a corporate job and me staying home? That's script for a murder-suicide right there. You know I would venture to say that the fact that Doyle can pursue his writing dream and take the kids to Gymboree is the result of the Women's Movement. Dads everywhere should be thanking us."

"Well, I should work."

"And that is your choice."

"And I'm lucky to have the choice."

Rory pour another glass of wine, "You know on top of everything else, we have to find a nanny. Know of any good ones?"

"As a matter-of-fact, I do."

"Really? Who?"

"Clementina."

"Clementina is your nanny."

"Not for long."

"Why? Are you firing her? Then why would I want her?"

"We're moving Rory."

'Moving? Where?"

"California. LA. Doyle and one of his writing partners pitched a TV series and it got picked up. He's going to be a full-time TV writer. So, we're packing up the truck and moving to Beverly."

"And when were you going to tell me this?"

"I'm telling you right now."

"Wow, moving across the country. You're ok with this?!"

"Yes, well we have to make sacrifices for our families right? Anyway, it's not like I am giving up anything anyway. What is really keeping me here? The business is doing well. I finally found a #2 person who is not a complete idiot and that I trust. Plus there are opportunities for me to expand out there. Apparently, there is a plastic surgery practice that is very popular among the A-lister set. They are in financial trouble because the trophy husband likes to shop. So we are looking into a merger. Have you baby delivered here, and then get a tummy tuck. What more can you want?"

"That's great Paris. But,..."

"But what?"

"Well, I'll miss you. Here I am moving to the city and you are moving out."

"You'll do fine without me. Hey, you want to buy our house? We're putting it on the market."

"Thanks but I think at this point that will be a bit too much house for me. Really you're selling, what if you want to come back?"

"Then we'll buy another house. Just as long as we're together, then we'll be ok."

"Well, listen to you all sentimental and optimistic! So when are you leaving?"

"It depends. We are still negotiating Doyle's contract. Good thing we have Madeline on it or we would be screwed."

"Ok, you have to get me up to speed on this. I didn't have any time to talk to either one of them in depth at the shower. First of all, how did Madeline and Louise manage to crash my shower? Second, Madeline is an Agent? How in the hell did that happen?"

"When Madeline and I reconnected, I told her about you. She of course was floored and told Louise right away. They decided to crash your shower because they had to see it for themselves. I mean really Rory, you are the last person we expected to be in this situation. So I called Lorelai and asked if they could come. You're not mad are you?'

"No, it was just a surprise. It was really great to reconnect with them. So what is Madeline's story?"

"So she dropped out of college pretty much as soon as she started and drifted around for a year or two "finding herself." She eventually became the trophy wife of some Hedge Fund founder. He was a nice guy, even genuinely loved her, but he worked a lot, could never relax and ate horribly. Despite Madeline's efforts, he would not commit to getting healthy. Unfortunately, all of this led to his untimely demise, leaving Madeline a young and very rich widow. And well, the way she described it, widow life was not all its cracked up to be so on a whim, she started taking classes at the local community college. One class led to another and before she knew it, she had an Associates Degree in Psychology. She transferred to Wesleyan where she got a dual degree in Psych and Poly Sci. From there she went on to Columbia Law School."

"Columbia!"

"Columbia! Yes and 4 years later she passed the New York and Connecticut Bar, first try."

"Wow!"

"Turns out, she is one of the most successful negotiators and litigators of her class. This was based on the fact that her opponents always underestimate her. I mean you know Madeline, in person she is still sweet, accommodating, and slightly flaky, but once you get her into a courtroom or at a negotiating table, she will gut you. "

"Really!"

"Oh yea. One of her former colleagues told me once she did a pro bono case for this woman who lost her job because her kid was getting chemo. By the time Madeline was done, the employer not only gave the woman her job back, but a raise, back pay, and a public apology. She got into the whole entertainment law scene after she negotiated her cousin's modeling contract. One thing led to another and before she knew it, she went to Hollywood. Madeline said she likes to represent off-air talent, not as much ego."

"Amazing. What are you going to tell me that Louise is a corporate CEO?"

"Well, sort of. She has her own Chiropractic/ Eastern Medicine practice in LA as well. We are talking about doing some partnering if this deal of mine goes through. She does cupping for Gwyneth Paltrow when she is in town!"

"Oh, my head hurts..."

It was 12:30 am and Logan could not sleep. With his leave soon coming to an end the thought life back in the real world was making him anxious. He would be lying if he said he did not thoroughly enjoy his time in the new family bubble in Stars Hollow. In fact, he had never been happier in his life. But, as he had learned time and time again, life is not about getting what you want. Try as he might to fight it, he had to accept that his time with Rory had an expiration date. The reality it seemed was that Rory would never want to be with him. She was not interested in college and, despite their situation, she wasn't interested now. It was time to let it go Logan thought to himself, if not for you, then for Hayden.

Just then Hayden woke up for his midnight feeding. Seeing that Rory was the one who handled this feeding, Hayden was not happy to find his mother absent. Holding him tight, Logan struggled to try to get him to take the bottle. "Come on Hayden, " Logan pleaded, "Mommy is not here. In fact, starting in a couple of weeks she is not going to be around all the time, so it's best you get used to it, now please take the bottle."

Logan and Hayden struggled for another hour before Hayden gave up and started drinking. "There you go, buddy. I know you miss Mommy. But she won't always be around. But don't worry, I'll always be there for you."

Logan smiled as Hayden loosened his grip on his bottle and fell asleep. It was then that Logan had a moment of clarity. Despite having his sister to lean on, all his life, Logan felt alone. He was dealing with the feeling rather well until Rory showed up, allowing him the opportunity to consider the possibilities of life beyond that of the obligation and expectations that he was raised to want. Staring at his son Logan realized that yes, while life with Rory was ideal, it was not the be all and end all to make him happy. Perhaps Rory was not the goal at all, Logan thought, maybe ultimately it was Hayden/fatherhood that would fill in that void that he felt for so long. For the first time in a long time, Logan felt at peace. Whatever happens, happens. Logan thought to himself. My son and I have each other, and that's all I need.

The next day Rory got up later than she expected. Drinking half a bottle of wine made for a restful sleep, but also extended her time away from her kid. After a quick shower and breakfast, Rory left Paris's and Doyle's house to meet Logan and Hayden. While waiting for her car, Rory received a text from Logan telling her to meet them at an apartment two block away from his current place. She arrived at the building, which was your typical vintage building to contemporary condo conversion. After being cleared from building security, she took the elevator up to the top floor and proceeded to the door opposite the elevators. As she approached the apartment, she heard excited talking and loud laughter. She opened the door to find Logan, Hayden, and a well-dressed, well-coiffed woman.

"Morning Ace" Logan greeted happily.

"Good morning."

"Rory this is Sloan Phillips, an old family friend, and my realtor. Sloan, Rory Gilmore."

"So nice to meet you," Sloan said with an enthusiasm Rory found fake.

"Sloan is the best realtor in the city. She can negotiate anyone to the wall. My family has been working with hers for years."

"My father and his go way back." Sloan added, "He started this business, and I joined the firm after college. I usually don't do these kinds of transaction anymore, but for Logan well..."

Rory noticed Sloan run her finger down Logan's arms. She continued to notice how she laughed just a little too heartily at Logan's corny jokes and how she leaned in close to him. This woman is so annoying, Rory thought.

Hayden, sensing his mother was there, started to cry for her. Logan immediately took him out of the carrier and gave him to Rory. Together Rory and Hayden toured the apartment. It was a really nice place, about 2000 square feet, three bedrooms and two and a half baths, open and filled with light. Rory pictured a soft neutral palette on the walls with paintings, furniture, and other accessories adding pops of color to the room. There was a little alcove off the living room that she thought would make a great office once some French or pocket doors were added. Best of all, Rory pictured Hayden running around, spilling his toys all over, while Logan chased him. It seemed like a lovely place to grow a family.

"Like it?" Logan asked, taking Hayden from Rory and showing him around saying "The new Huntzberger Hideout? The place where two guys can just hang out, play cards, drink beer, watch the game?"

"Yes, it's really nice," Rory observed, "Really homey and the view is amazing!"

"And the perfect price!" Sloan interjected. "I think we could even negotiate lower. It is among the last apartments and the developer really wants to move on."

"Well, it is tempting. I'm going to walk around again, maybe check out the building one more time." Logan said, giving the baby back to Rory.

"Go right ahead." encouraged Sloan. Logan left to tour the apartment again, leaving Rory and Sloan alone in the kitchen.

"So," Sloan asked in a peppy voice that Rory found irritating, "have you been with Logan for long?"

"Umm, yes we've known each other for a while," Rory responded

"Oh, really? Did you work together before?"

"Um, no actually..." At that moment Hayden started his hungry cry.

"I'm sorry the baby is hungry, I'm just going to sit over here..." Rory said heading towards the living room.

As Rory sat down to breastfeed Hayden, Logan reappeared.

'So you really like it?" Logan asked.

"Yes, The size, layout, the view? With a bit of baby proofing and some paint, I think it would be great." Rory replied.

"I do too. Sloan, I'm going to take one last look downstairs again." Logan announced and then left the apartment.

"Don't forget to check out the guest suite on this floor and the indoor playroom downstairs. The developers are marketing to families, so there are a lot of great extras." Sloan called out as he walked out the door.

As soon as Logan left, Sloan walked over to Rory, who was in the midst of feeding Hayden. "So, you're Hayden's mom!" Sloan asked a bit nervously.

"'That I am," Rory replied neutrally

"Yes, yes, you're "Rory" Rory!"

"In the flesh, " Rory responded, then looking down at the breastfeeding Hayden, "...so to speak."

"You know Logan and I go way back."

"I know, you mentioned that."

"Hayden is just so cute. You're just a scrumptious little tyke, aren't you? Aren't you?"

Ok, lady, Rory thought, my kid is not a midmorning snack...

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes feeling relief when Logan returned.

'It looks great Sloan." Logan informed her, "I think this is at the top of the list."

"Well, let me know your decision quickly. You know how fast things can move fast in this neighborhood."

"I will. Rory you might want Sloan to help you find a place."

"Oh, I would LOVE to!" Sloan said, again with fake enthusiasm Rory notes.

"Oh I will definitely need some help" but not from you, Rory thinks.

"Well Logan," Sloan said, "I have to get to that other appointment. Call me?"

"Oh yes, go, go. Thanks for fitting me in."

"Well, " she said in a very flirty way, "thanks for getting in touch."

I'm going to barf, Rory thought to herself.

"Nice to meet you Rory!" She said sunnily, sticking out her hand to shake as Rory refastened her nursing bra.

"Likewise," Rory said with a nod as she pulled down her shirt.

With that Sloan exited the apartment.

"So I think this is it," Logan told Rory.

"Yes, it's nice," Rory replied as she paced around, trying to get Hayden to burp, "but are you sure you want her to do the negotiations?"

"She one of the best in the business, why not?"

"She seems flaky."

"She's a shark."

"I guess I would want someone a little less Barbie and more business-like. " Rory observed, "I mean yes, get the apartment. If you have to go with her, then go ahead. Doesn't bother me."

Carrying Hayden, Rory walked out the door towards the elevator.

Logan followed her, smiling.