Cpov
I had only cried twice in my memory. First, when I was eight and my father told me that Max's mother wasn't going to allow us to spend time together as a family anymore. And second, when I realized the horrible thing I'd done to Justin.
This was number three.
"I can't do it." I muttered. I was sitting on my bunk with my arms wrapped around my legs and my head resting on my knees. "I can't do this."
I couldn't take away Will's ability to love, doing something so horrible to him was repugnant, unjustifiable no matter what my reason might be.
But I couldn't force myself to believe in love either.
It just wasn't fair. How could she do this to me? What did she want? What more could she take? How on earth could she justify taking the one good thing in my life and using it against me?
Why did it have to be Will?
Rage filled me again and more tears slipped down my cheeks.
"This isn't me. This isn't me." I repeated softly to myself. "This is her. She's just trying to use me."
The conflict only produced frustration and I broke down sobbing again.
"Get out of my head!" I shouted furiously but of course no one answered. If she wanted to speak to me, she would have done so by now, but it was clear everything she wanted to say she'd already said.
I heard the cabin door open and I pulled my legs closer to myself. If I stayed really quiet, maybe whoever it was wouldn't hear.
The steps made their way down the hall and into my room.
"Get out!" I shouted with as much force as I could muster. The room shook with the power of my charmspeak but the person didn't move.
"No." I whispered.
There was only one person who that could be.
"Cali." Will said gently and I looked up in horror.
"No." I said again feeling panic fill me. "You need to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Will you don't get it." I said backing further away from him on my bed.
"Yes, I do." He said calmly stepping closer.
"Get away!" I shouted hysterically and again the room shook. He was forced to take a step backward, but with what looked like the sheer determination of will, he threw of the charmspeak and continued walking.
"Will please." I said quietly. Time was running out. The three days was almost up. "You need to go."
"I'm not going anywhere." He said stubbornly.
"You don't understand. You're in danger."
"I know." He said looking at me. "But I don't care."
I stared at him and he took a step closer.
"You know." I said realization causing my voice to shake. "They told you."
He nodded.
"Then you know what I am." I said looking down at my hands.
"I know who you are Cali." He said standing in front of me but I refused to meet his gaze. "And I don't think you'll hurt me."
"I'm a monster." I said my voice trembling as tears threatened to fall again.
"No you're not." He said.
"Don't lie." I said bitterly. "The things I've done…"
"I'm not lying."
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"Because unlike your siblings, I'm not scared of you."
I looked up.
"You're not?" I asked in disbelief.
He shook his head.
"Why?" I asked quietly. Was he insane? If he knew what I was, he knew what I was capable of, what I'd done…
"Because I know you Cali." He said softly. "You're not going to hurt someone you don't think deserves it."
I stared at him.
"Why don't you hate me?"
"Why would I?"
"I kept this from you. After everything you did for me," the tears filled my eyes again. "I still lied to you. And everyone who found out what I was, they were all terrified of me."
"I'm not." He said simply.
"But why?" I asked looking away from him frustrated and confused.
"Because I love you." He said quietly, and suddenly, it was like the whole world had stopped.
I was suddenly very aware of my heartbeat. It was increasing.
"What?" I said looking up at him as I heard it's pounding in my ears.
"I love you." He said again and I felt the air an my lungs vanish. "And I think I have from the moment I saw you. I know you don't believe in this stuff, and it doesn't make any sense. And you don't have to say anything back." He said shaking his head. "But you need to know. And I will always be here for you no matter what anyone says about you."
"Why?"
"Because that's what love is." He said quietly.
My heart was beating faster than it ever had. I couldn't speak. One word was repeating in my mind, whispering with the beat of my heart.
'Choose. Choose. Choose.'
He reached towards me but I backed away.
"Will you don't understand." I said shaking my head. The voice was getting louder now. It was almost cruel.
'Choose. Choose. Choose.'
"You can't be around me right now."
'Choose! Choose! Choose!'
"I'm not going anywhere."
'CHOOSE!'
I let out a cry of pain and cradled my head in my hands as my mother's voice broke into my thoughts and screamed the last word at me.
"Cali!" Will shouted in panic. I heard him reach for me.
"Don't touch me!" I said horrified looking up and seeing his hand about to touch my face. "No! Will! That's how it-"
His palm brushed my cheek and I waited in horror for the screaming. I waited for him to fall to his knees like Justin and my father had. The moment I'd touched them, the emotion had been torn straight out of their heart. But he didn't scream, he was looking at me in concern and instead, I felt something. Something I'd never experienced, but reminded me of the first night I saw him.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly lifting my chin up to look at him.
I nodded my heart was still beating like crazy but the voice was gone. The only thing on my mind was Will.
He sat on the bed next to me.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
'Choose.'
The voice was a whisper again, fading quickly.
"Yeah." I said still confused. What was going on? Why hadn't it worked?
He was still looking at me in concern.
"Why did you come find me?" I asked him uncertainly. "It was really stupid."
'Choose.'
"I told you why." He said. "And I'm never going to leave you alone. As long as I'm around. You'll never have to be."
'Choose!'
I was finding it hard to breathe. My brain was seemed simultaneously jammed but frantic at the same time. I knew what was happening, and that I had to stop it, but my body wouldn't move.
My thoughts were racing back and forth at a million miles an hour as he lifted my chin. I could still do something, there was still time…
But then his lips met mine, and any and all forms of thought, rational or irrational, died.
My brain shut off as emotion took over and my body relaxed. I slid my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer. A strange force had taken over me, leaving my knees weak and feeling dizzy. It erupted from my heart and spread through me like a wildfire causing my cheeks to flush and my heart to go into overdrive. I felt as if I could never be close enough to him, even if I could feel his heart beating nearly as fast as mine.
It was then, somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized I didn't care. I didn't care if this was an illusion. I didn't care if this wasn't real. All the anger and bitterness and confusion I'd held on to for so long simply faded away as if dissipating into the air around me as his hand pressed me closer to him while the other ran though my hair. He was the only thing that mattered to me right now and this emotion was the most powerful thing I'd ever felt. I wouldn't give it up for anything.
My mother could do whatever she wanted as long as I was with Will.
I didn't know how long we were there, it could have been eternity and I would have stayed, but eventually, we broke apart.
I expected the intensity of the feeling to go away, but it didn't. I was still frozen, breathing hard, feeling as if I'd been struck by lightening. Did he feel it too?
He didn't let go of me. He rested his forehead against mine as he wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. I knew that this feeling had hit him just as hard.
Suddenly, I felt dizzy.
I guess the events of the past hour had caught up to me, and I was starting to see blackness at the edges of my vision.
"Cali?" Will asked. "Are you alright?"
I tried to nod, but I couldn't quite manage it. My brain was fuzzy and I didn't seem to be thinking clearly. Everything was really slow, there was one thing I was aware of though, and I tried to communicate it to him as best as I could.
"I choose you." I said softly. Then my vision went black.