Chapter XXXVII
When the three of them woke up in the morning, the sun was already high in the sky. Anna was right. The place looked absolutely stunning - sandy beaches, palm trees as far as the eye could see - but what she liked most was how hot it was.
And it got even hotter when John came down wearing blue shorts and a white summer shirt with the top two buttons undone and a pair of sunglasses hanging from the open collar. He had lost a lot of weight while he'd been away. She had never minded him being a little soft around the belly, but the lost pounds just made him look younger.
She was too busy checking him out to see that he was staring back at her with the same adoration. She was wearing a flowery yellow summer dress that ended mid-thigh, with the cutest white hat resting on her head. They would have stood in the middle of the kitchen just staring at each other silently all day, if Gracie hadn't interrupted them. She was wearing the same kind of summer dress as her mum, but hers was blue and a little longer. They decided to drive to the nearest town to walk around a little, taking in the new scenery and getting acquainted with the locale.
The three of them were so pale that they spent the first hour making sure every inch of their exposed skin was covered with sunbathing cream. The sun was strong, and they were not taking any chances - they did not want to spend the rest of the vacation shut up indoors, dealing with sunburns. John locked the house and, just as Robert had told him, a jeep was parked in the garage, ready for their use.
After a short drive to town, they spent almost half of the day walking around, discovering a couple of restaurants and a shop, and they had more than one pleasant conversation with locals who kindly offered them help if they needed it. They were pleased that the area where they were staying attracted fewer tourists than the rest of the island. The beach house didn't even have any neighbours, and they were glad for the privacy it allowed them.
It was almost three in the afternoon when Gracie got tired of just walking around. It had been fun, but she really wanted to go back to the house so that John could start teaching her how to swim. She was thrilled at the prospect of finally learning, so they said their goodbyes and drove back to the house.
While Anna took a quick shower, John, Gracie, and Joy went ahead to the beach.
''Ready?'' John smiled down at Gracie, and she smiled back nervously. He knew that she was eager to learn, but could also see that she was a little scared, so he took her hand and together they made their way into the sea. They spent the first few minutes splashing one another until John sensed that she was comfortable enough in her new surroundings. Lifting her in his arms, he walked out a little further until the water was just up his waist. Now their little swimming lesson could begin.
''Will you let go of me?'' Gracie asked, when he lowered both of them down in the water, her small hands clutching around his neck in fear. The water was calm, but this was the first time she had ever been in water this deep. The only time she had been to the sea was in the north of England when she was 5 years old, and the water there had been so cold that she had never actually taken a step into it.
''Listen, Gracie, you don't need to be afraid, OK? I'll be here the whole time, and I promise that I won't let go of you for a second until you are ready, all right?'' John said soothingly.
She brightened at his reassurance.
''But what if I don't learn?'' she asked, still worried.
''You will. Look at Joy - if she can learn, so can you.'' He turned around, pointing to the dog, who was slowly paddling in their direction.
''Joy!'' Gracie squealed, watching her swim toward them. Letting go of John's neck, she opened her arms. The dog swam directly into her embrace and immediately started licking her.
''Stop it, Joy, stop it!'' she giggled and tried to move her head away from the dog's enthusiastic licking. John laughed in pure joy at standing in the beautiful sea with Gracie and Joy in his arms, and when he turned his head he could see Anna on the shore waving.
''What are you doing?'' she called, giggling at the sight of the three of them in the water together.
''Mummy!'' Gracie waved back and let go of the dog, which then started swimming toward Anna.
''Aren't you going to join us?'' John asked, when he saw her sit down on the one of the beach chairs under the big umbrella.
''I don't want to interrupt your swimming lesson. I'll just stay here with my book,'' she called back, but John knew her well enough to know that something wasn't quite right. He wanted to go and talk to her, but Gracie chose that moment to start to wiggling out of his arms, feeling more confident about being in the water.
John spent the next half hour teaching her how to float, kick, and move her arms, and as he had promised her, he never let go of her completely. She was doing a really good job for the first time, until her head went under the water and she swallowed a little seawater. It wasn't much, but it was enough to scare her. She started crying, and with that their first swimming lesson was over.
John tried to encourage her to try again, but Gracie had had enough for one day. He carried her to the point where the water was just up to her waist, and she quickly made her way to Anna for a cuddle.
''Is she OK?'' John asked from the water.
''She's fine,'' Anna reassured him. ''Don't worry.''
His brow was furrowed with concern until he saw Gracie wave to him, smiling.
''OK. I'm just going to swim a lap and then I'll be right there,'' he replied, waving to both of them.
When he was done with his lap, he turned back to the shore. He could see Anna still on the beach chair and Gracie making a sandcastle under another umbrella a few metres away, Joy lying peacefully next to her.
John didn't realize it, but Anna was thinking about him the whole time he was swimming. She had a book with her, but she hadn't managed to read even one page so far. It felt like a fairy tale to her, thinking about him and Gracie spending time together, laughing and playing in the water. She didn't want to burst their bubble of happiness; she had already done that once when she had sent him away.
She was so lost in her daydream that she didn't even see him coming out of the water until he was only a few steps from her, and then she froze in place. He looked so good! She was aware that he had lost some weight, but she hadn't been expecting this - he had six-packs, for god's sake! She just stared at him with her mouth hanging open, unable to look away. His wet swim shorts clung to him in the most delicious way, and she was having a hard time trying to force herself look away from his body, which was glistening with seawater. Finally reaching her, he took his towel from the little table, dried himself off, and sat down on the chair next to hers.
''Are you sure you're all right?'' John asked, unable to read her expression.
''Umm…'' she began, still staring at him. His chest hair was still damp, and she could see water dripping down his hair and onto his worried face.
''Anna?'' he asked again, not sure what she was thinking about. But it had suddenly hit her - he was gorgeous, and she knew that if everything had been OK between them and if Gracie hadn't been around, she would have taken matters into her own hands and demanded him then and there.
''Annaaa...?'' he repeated her name and covered her hand with his.
The contact finally made her realise that she hadn't really been paying attention to what he'd been saying.
''What?'' she asked dreamily, trying to ignore the way her body was responding to him.
''I asked if you're OK?'' He chuckled at having to ask the same question again.
''Yes...yes, I'm fine - thank you.'' Anna coughed self-consciously and smiled, thankful that her cheeks were already red because of the heat.
''Why aren't you in your swimsuit?'' he asked, noticing that she was wearing shorts and a top. He shifted, trying to make himself comfortable on the chair.
''I just don't feel like it, that's all,'' she lied. The truth was that she had spent almost 20 minutes in her room trying to decide what to wear. Somehow Jane had managed to replace her frumpy swimsuit with the white bikini, and Anna was still not sure whether she should wear it. In the end, she had decided not to join John and Gracie in the water, and had put the bikini back in the drawer.
''Anna?'' He could sense that she wasn't telling him the whole truth; there was something in her eyes that told him she was worried about something. Staring at her, he waited patiently for her to say something.
She could see that he wasn't going to let it go until she explained what was on her mind. ''You'll think I'm being silly...'' she hesitated.
''I could never think that,'' he replied gently, and sat up, turning his whole body toward her. ''Just tell me. That's the whole reason we are here, Anna - to talk.''
''I know that, but…'' She knew he was right, so took a deep breath and began. ''You see, Jane somehow managed to swap my regular swimsuit with a rather…well...ummm...a rather sexy bikini.'' Anna looked up at him shyly, and she could see him grinning.
''And the problem is?''
''Well…it's pretty revealing, and I don't want you to think that I'm wearing it just because I want to seduce you, when I know we're not here for that,'' she managed to say, despite her embarrassment. She didn't want him to think that she was focused just on the physical part of their relationship. They were here to talk, not to tease one another.
Getting up from his beach chair, John sat down next to her. Taking her hand in his, he looked up and smiled.
''And what would you say if I told you that I want to be seduced by you?'' he whispered in the way he knew that she liked, and saw her eyes widen. ''I want you to flirt with me, every chance you get. I want you to wear your sexy, revealing bikini, making me shiver all over when I look you,'' he continued. He leaned closer to her and saw that she really had no idea how to respond.
''I know this whole situation is a little awkward, but we love each other, and you should never feel bad about making me fall for you all over again, every time I see you. In your everyday clothes, in your bikini, or even wearing nothing.''
''John.'' She exhaled, feeling her whole body respond to his words. ''You have to stop saying all these things to me.''
''And why is that?'' he chuckled.
''I think you know why.'' Anna smiled, seeing him flash a cheeky grin at her. ''I already have enough trouble resisting you in your swim shorts, so you can't say all these things to me when you know how much I want to kiss you, but can't.''
''Well, we have to share our second first kiss at some point, so why can't we do it right now?'' he said, and rested his hands on either side of her half-reclining body.
''Are you sure?'' she asked, looking up slowly from his lips to his eyes. It was silly, really. This time around she was the one making sure he was all right with the pace of their relationship. Anna knew that he wanted to start over, but she still felt guilty about everything that had happened between them. She wanted to be 100% sure he was all right with it. She wasn't taking any more chances of hurting him by doing something he - and they - were not yet prepared for.
''I've been sure since I came back,'' John smiled sweetly, leaning a little closer to her.
She silently covered one of his hands, and as slowly as possible ran her hand up his arm and neck until she reached his cheek, cupping it. His hand moved to rest on the side of her thigh, and they both smiled before slowly starting to close the gap between them.
With half-lidded eyes and dreamy smiles, they were so close that they could feel each other's breath on their lips, when a sudden shriek from Gracie made both of them jump and turn in her direction.
''What's the matter?'' Anna asked her daughter, who was still sitting in the sand, but looking upset.
''Joy ruined my castle!'' she pouted at the dog. "Now I have to start over again."
''Would you like some help?'' John exhaled, sitting up straight.
''Yes, please,'' she said, and stood up to get a little shovel that Joy had started to chew.
''I'm coming.'' He turned his gaze back to Anna. ''Care to join us?''
''No, you go. You deserve to spend some alone time with her. She's missed you.''
''I've missed her, too,'' he replied. ''And I've missed you, as well, Miss Smith,'' he added playfully, when he saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. He gave her a gentle peck on the cheek, then stood up. Before walking away, he turned to her. ''I love her, but the kid really has the worst timing ever.''
''Yeah, she got that from my father,'' she replied seriously. They both burst into laughter, remembering how George had interrupted their first kisses in front of her flat, after the Christmas charity ball.
When they finally stopped laughing, John said, ''We'll get there, don't you worry.'' He winked, then walked over to Gracie and what remained of her sandcastle.
xXx
The days following were like heaven to them. They were having the best vacation of their lives - joking, cuddling, playing, and simply spending time together as a real family. Gracie finally learned to swim, and it was taking John and Anna a lot of persuading to get her out of the water each day.
They had also had time to finally sit down and talk about everything that had happened between them and, more important, why it had happened in the first place. There were tears from each of them, but after they were done, they could both feel a big burden being lifted from their shoulders.
They still hadn't found the right moment to share their second first kiss - with Gracie and Joy around, there was always something going on - but they didn't really mind. OK, if they were really honest, they actually did mind...so on their last evening in Hawaii, John had asked Anna to join him on the beach.
As slowly and quietly as possible, Anna closed Gracie's bedroom door after checking on her and Joy. It wasn't late, but the sun, all the swimming, and chasing after Joy on the beach over the last week had exhausted Gracie. She had even started dozing off at the table during dinner, so John had picked her up and carried upstairs. After placing her in her bed, he had turned and whispered to Anna to meet him on the beach in 20 minutes, then disappeared with a smile and wink.
Before heading to the beach, she made sure all the doors were locked, so no one could enter the house without an alarm code, but it would still be easy for Gracie to come out and find them if she needed anything. Joy was with her, too, and Anna knew that the dog would wake up the whole island if Gracie needed them.
She had no idea where John was waiting for her, but when she approached the fence she could see dozens of small, lighted candles creating a path that led down the terrace toward the beach. With a smile full of wonder, she hurried down the stairs toward the beach, and when she walked past a small group of palm trees, she could see John standing in the middle of the beach, staring out at the sea. A big fluffy blanket was spread on the sand next to him, along with some pillows and a picnic basket. She just stared at him for a minute, taking him in, before letting him know she was there.
''What's all this?'' she asked warmly, making him turn around.
''Oh, so you've found me,'' he replied, extending his hand.
''I have,'' she smiled, taking his hand in hers.
''Come, let's sit down,'' he said, and lay down, pulling her with him. As they made themselves comfortable on the blanket, he immediately pulled her closer and sighed contentedly. ''I know you probably imagined something more exciting for our date, maybe dinner or dancing, but...''
''This is perfect,'' she interrupted, looking into his eyes. ''I don't need you to take me dancing or to dinner. This - us, lying here in each other's arms - is more than enough for me,'' she reassured him.
''I'll try to remember that the next time I ask you out.'' John chuckled when she smacked him on the chest playfully, but did not fail to notice her hand rubbing lightly over his chest a few times more than was necessary. He covered her hand with his and held it in place. ''I'm so happy you agreed to this trip.''
''Are you kidding? This has been the best week of my life.'' She looked up and smiled.
''The best?'' he asked seriously, his eyes still focused on her. ''There is still one more thing that would need to happen before I could say that myself.''
''Oh? And what is that?'' she asked, trying to figure out what was he talking about. They had just spent the most beautiful 6 days in a tropical paradise, with no interruptions from the outside world. It had been heaven on earth...and he was still missing something?
Grinning at her worried expression, he turned to lie on his side and ran his fingers from her waist up to her face, cupping her cheek.
''This...'' he whispered sweetly, tracing his thumb over her cheek before slowly covering her lips with his. It was soft, tender…it was home. And all Anna could do at that point was to slip one of her hands around his head, resting her palm on the nape of his neck and pulling him closer.
He definitely knew what was he doing, and maybe it was because he had been away for so long, but this kiss was even better than all the other wonderful kisses they had shared before. She lost herself in his peppermint breath and soft lips, his own scent mixed with sunbathing cream invading her nostrils, his strong arms holding her close, making her feel safe and loved.
He gently pushed her back against the pillows, his lips still locked with hers, with no intention of ending the contact. His hand skimmed down her body, stopping at the side of her breast. He felt a string under his fingers, and could not help but chuckle.
''Wh…what?'' she whispered breathlessly, when his laughter forced him away from her lips.
''You're wearing that sexy bikini I've been hearing about all week, aren't you?''
The truth was that no matter how many times John had told her to wear it, it still had not felt right to Anna. So at the beginning of the week, she had driven herself into town and bought herself another frumpy swimsuit, as Jane would have described it, and worn it throughout their stay.
Biting her lower lip and blushing slightly, she replied, ''I am.''
''Is there any chance I can finally see it?'' he growled, making another hot shiver go down her spine.
''Come on,'' he coaxed with a grin, and she gave him a cheeky nod. Taking her hand in his, he helped her up, and pulled her with him toward the terrace, completely forgetting about the food he had packed in the picnic basket.
Unbuttoning his summer shirt, he tossed it onto the chair near the pool and quickly jumped in. Swimming to the surface, he turned to see her still standing shyly by the pool stairs. ''Coming or not?''
''Give me a minute,'' she replied, slowly pulling her dress over her head. John's heart stopped for a split second when his eyes rested on her. The only thing barely covering her tanned body was a skimpy white bikini, and John finally understood why she had felt so uncertain about wearing it. It had been a long time since he had last seen her wearing so little.
During his months away, no matter how hard he had fought to hold onto them, his mind had slowly started to blur his previously vivid memories of her body. He had spent countless sleepless nights lying in his bed in Scotland, trying to remember, but he had remembered less with each day that passed. It was as if his brain had blocked that part of his memory, in order to protect him from the pain and feelings of loss.
But seeing her again like this, half-naked just a few metres away from him, brought all the memories and emotions back - how her body had felt under his, her voice in his hair, her arms and legs wrapped around him, pinning him down, her nails deep in his flesh, both of their bodies moving together in perfect harmony. Everything he had tried to remember for so long had returned, painting clear images in his mind.
''Are you OK?'' she asked shyly, when she saw his mouth hanging open.
''You're kidding, right?'' he forced the words out. She was absolutely gorgeous, and all he wanted was to hold her, kiss her, show her how much he had missed her during the months they had been apart. ''You are…you are…''
''Yes?'' She was kind of enjoying seeing him speechless. Leaning on the rail of the stairs, she stared at him, biting the inside of her cheek.
''Anna, can you please come into the water?'' he begged, and took a few steps toward her.
''Why don't you come and get me?'' she teased, seeing him inch closer to her.
''All right, but when I do, I won't let go.'' He swam to the stairs and stood up to pull her into the water, but she was quicker. She jumped away, laughing, and started to run to the other side of the pool.
''Anna!'' he called her playfully, but she kept running. All he could do was to run after her. They spent the next few minutes running up and down the terrace until John finally caught up with her, grabbed her by her waist, and pulled her flat against him.
''No, no - let go!'' she squealed, giggling. She tried to shrug out of his embrace, but he was too strong.
''Don't you dare! Don't you dare!'' she laughed, when he picked her up and turned to the pool. ''Jooohn!'' she shrieked, just before he jumped into the water with her safely in his arms.
They landed in the warm water, and she quickly swam to the surface.
''You idiot!'' she laughed, pushing her wet hair out of her face, and saw that he was swimming toward her.
''Yes, but I'm your idiot!'' he laughed back, catching her by the hips and pulling her close.
''You are,'' Anna said, locking her arms around his neck. She couldn't touch the bottom of the pool so she wrapped her legs around John's body, and he didn't mind one bit. He looked adorable to her, with his wet hair hanging over his forehead, a beaming smile on his face, and the brightest sparkle in his eyes.
''What?'' she asked, when she finally stopped giggling and saw him staring at her.
''You are so beautiful, you know that?'' he whispered, and spread one hand on her back and used the other to move a strand of wet hair away from her face. ''So, so beautiful.''
''John…'' She took a deep breath, but he silenced her by placing a finger over her lips.
''Anna, shhh,'' he whispered, tightening his hold on her waist. He lowered his head and placed a gentle, wet kiss on her neck, making her forget everything but the rush running through her body. She tilted her head, giving him the space to continue what he had started. As slowly as possible, he made his way from her neck down to the hollow of her throat, toward her collarbone, and ended between her breasts, lightly sucking on the skin he found there.
Anna closed her eyes, enjoying the way he was making her feel. Running her fingers through his dark locks and slowly getting used to his beard brushing against her tender skin, she found herself smiling gently as he moaned against her body.
''John?'' she called softly. He continued to kiss her silently. ''John?'' she repeated.
''Yes?'' he finally managed to respond, but now she was silent. What he was doing to her was sweet torture, and she prayed it would never end. He could feel her legs tighten around his waist even more and, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, he slowly made his way up her neck, wanting to look her in the eye.
''Open your eyes, Anna,'' he said, and slowly she responded.
''How was that?'' he asked, smiling, sensing exactly how good he had made her feel.
She took a deep breath. ''I think you should shave,'' she said, making both of them burst into laughter. She loved the new look on him, but at the same time she missed the feeling of his clean-shaven skin brushing against hers. She held onto him as he slowly waded to the edge of the pool, still laughing at her comment.
''I thought that you liked the beard on me?'' he teased, pressing her against the wall of the pool, his face just a few inches from hers.
''I did...I mean, I do...but…'' she began, but he didn't give her a chance to finish, interrupting her with a gentle kiss.
He didn't mind losing the beard; despite everything that had happened, he would still do anything she asked. He had given her everything once, and he was prepared to do it again, even if he was risking getting hurt again. Maybe he was a fool, but he was very much a fool in love.
''I'll shave tomorrow,'' he whispered against her lips.
''You don't need to if you don't want to,'' she replied, playing with his wet hair. She had thought - hoped - that they would at least have an innocent cuddle before heading back home, but this was so much better. She smiled. ''I don't know about you, but I think this second first kiss ended much, much better than our first one.''
''Well, let me see...'' He pretended to think. ''There is no Thomas or Phyllis to be jealous over this time, no running away, no one getting fired, and definitely no George lurking at the window… Yes, I think you're right,'' he laughed, with her soon joining in. ''Even our outfits are much, much more…'' His gaze travelled down her body, pausing at her breasts.
''Much more...what?'' she chuckled, feeling his eyes on her and his palms making small circles along her sides.
''More...revealing.''
''Oh, really?'' Her hands left the back of his neck and came to rest on his chest.
''Really,'' he said, looking up again and seeing her smile.
''Do you mind?'' she teased.
''No, not one bit,'' he replied, grinning, and added, ''I see that you still have the bellybutton piercing you got in York. Didn't you say you hated it?'' He knew how upset she had been when she'd discovered it the morning after her dad's birthday party, but for some reason he'd found it sexy.
''I did, but I know how much you love it, so I put the stud back in before we came here.''
''I do...don't ask me why, but I really do love it,'' he whispered, and once again covered her lips with his. She moaned when he slid his tongue gently over her lips, asking for permission to explore her mouth, which she granted immediately.
They spent the next few minutes tasting each other and letting their bodies get used to one other again, not thinking about or caring what their second first kiss might lead to. Maybe it was too soon, maybe they still had some things to talk over, but at this moment, none of that mattered. Maybe Jane had been right - maybe sex could help them work some things out.
''Your room or m-…'' he asked, when he broke the kiss to catch his breath. He hadn't been planning for this to happen, but he had missed her so much - her body, her soul, the way she made him feel like he was the only man in the world. He had simply missed her.
''Are you sure?'' She rested her head against his, trying to breathe normally again.
''I don't know,'' he admitted. ''But I think we need to do this...I want to do this.''
Taking a few breaths, Anna looked him in the eye and said, ''Yours. Mine is closer to Gracie's, and I don't want her to hear us.'' When they had arrived in Hawaii, they had decided not to share a bedroom, wanting to give themselves some time and space to be alone, to process all the feelings, but when she looked into his eyes, she knew he was right. Since he had returned, something had been missing when they were together. Maybe sleeping together wasn't such a bad idea.
''OK,'' he whispered, smiling, and with her still in his embrace, he walked up the steps and out of the pool, into the house, and upstairs to his room. Kicking the door open, he carried her in, locking the door behind them, and lowered both of them onto the bed. They couldn't stop giggling, neither of them able to contain their giddy excitement.
But the passionate night that had played in their minds repeatedly over the last few days would not turn out the way they had planned.
BETA: the FABULOUS annambates! :)*** HVALA
Did you miss us?...just a little bit maybe? ;) thank you for R&RF&F&PM! :)