Tuesday 10th – Morning of Friday 13th September 1996

Tuesday 10th

Lunch Time
Great Hall
Hogwarts

The Great Hall was softly tumbling with whispers that spread across the table like wild fire. True Harry had set the fake galleons working telling everyone that the next D.A meeting would be tonight, but that wasn't what the whispering was about.

There had been a break in at the Ministry last night and a couple of Death Eaters had been caught. It was only a couple of minor followers, no one Sev or I knew, but it was bad. If Tom was sending his people into the ministry then he was after something. And he hadn't told me.

I had no idea why it set my skin prickling because I would have liked to have as little to do with the monster as possible, but here I was angry that I didn't know part of the plan. I should have known about it long before now, but I hadn't and that made me incompetent at my job and useless to the order.

"But what are they after?" Harry asked.

"No idea," I said before a hundred odd eyes could turn to me.

"You mean he hasn't told you?" Ron asked.

"That's what no idea means," I blandly replied so that I didn't snap at him. He was annoying me already as he still hadn't applied himself enough with occlumency which was putting the three of us – Hermione, Harry and me – in a very uncomfortable situation. It wasn't fair on him that we couldn't tell him anything, but it wasn't fair on us either. We risked losing a friend, one we all held dearly, because of his laziness. I knew Ron would never turn dark on us, but the thought plagued me more often than I liked to admit.

Classes passed really slowly after that, Umbridge's even more so than usual. When seven in the evening rolled around I was glad because that meant I could apply myself to something more important than classes had been lately – Dumbledore's Army. I got there first this time as Harry and Hermione could now help Draco out in misleading the Inquisitorial Squad about our whereabouts.

I stood by the door as everyone came in to make sure they weren't being followed and greeted them as they arrived. Luna stood with me for a while once she'd arrived and asked me how my summer went.

"Oh, you know," I shrugged. "Not too bad. Didn't have to deal with Daddy Dearest which was nice."

"Your comfortable calling him that?" she asked in her dreamy voice that hid more than it let on. "I'm surprised, a monster like that."

"Oh I don't call him that," I laughed. "He'd… Well I don't know what I'd do but I really don't want to find out."

"I was doing some research into your Dark Mark over summer. I found out that applying nargel dust will sooth the colour."

I really wasn't sure what to make of that so I opted for polite. "Thanks, Luna, but I have to keep it as it is. Don't want to go angering anyone."

"You should try it after the war."

"How was your holiday, Luna?" I asked to purposely change the subject, not really caring that it wasn't tactful. The less I had to think about the war at the minute the better.

"Oh, it was alright. Daddy and I planted some new Gurdyroots last week. They should be ready to eat in the summer. I'll send you some pie if you like, I make it myself."

"Sure. I'm sure I'll be at an order meeting at some point if you want to send some along with Mrs. Weasley," I nodded already liking the sound of it. It was something to look forward to next summer. Something good was going to happen that I could aim to reach when things got too tough to deal with at Malfoy Manor. I'd try and sneak some to Draco too.

Harry and Hermione came in then both looking angry and worried.

"What's up, Harry?" Seamus asked.

"Parkinson got Ron," he snapped. "Carted him off to Toad Face."

"Will he be alright?"

"Depends what she does," he nearly snapped again. "Tonight we're doing –"

"Occlumency," Hermione interrupted. "And for tem minutes every meeting from now."

"Why –"

"You know why Harry," she hissed at him. "All the fighting spells in the world won't be any use if you get captured and one slipped bit of information is all it will take. This war isn't just about wands and magical prowess, it's about dodging each other, guessing their next move, finding out whatever we can about the other side. Death Eaters will torture it out of you and if you don't give it up whose to say they won't drive you insane under the Cruciatus curse," at this Neville visibly flinched. "Learn this and you'll have some sort of protection from mind games."

"And you know this how?" a second year Ravenclaw asked.

"Because she knows me," I said stepping forward to save her hide. "There are lots of things I haven't told Hermione or anyone else in here for that every reason."

"But if you learn it will you tell us?"

"If Albus or Severus tell me to, yes," I nodded. Some of them had looked dismayed at the prospect of losing time learning how to fight, but then had looked up again when they heard me the question be asked. I was Slytherin enough to not tell them that there was no way in hell I was telling any of them anything, but they didn't need to know that.

I wasn't worried that I didn't feel bad for essentially lying to them, but I didn't feel bad about not feeling bad either. If this was what war did to you I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

"Abigail, do you want to take the lead on this one?" Harry asked.

"Sure," I smiled stepping forward only feeling nervous and shy for a moment. I liked teaching people this because I knew how much it would help them. It also took me back to my brief childhood.

Once we'd done that for ten minutes we went onto doing some spells that we'd done in the last school year and then had some mini duals in twos and threes. Hermione, Harry and I walked around giving out pointers and then out of the blue Lynx and her cubs slunk in and randomly pounced on people to see how they reacted to new threats muscling their way into the fight. The cubs did it for fun and I watched them for a moment as they hemmed a second year into a corner with a smile on my face. I guess Lynx had come in for another reason. They needed to learn how to fight too. They were getting on for six months old now, and I doubted the war would end before they were two. Even before they were two they'd be an invaluable asset in a fight, but they needed protecting first and foremost. If I'd learned anything it was that you couldn't defend yourself if you didn't know how to attack.

When we ended the lesson another door opened in the back of the room showing three separate corridors each marked with a house name. We all grinned and safely headed to our home rooms.

Ron was waiting in the common room when we got there. He was sat by the fire soaking his hand in murtap essence to soothe the pain of the bloodquill. He put on a brave face as Hermione fussed over him and checked out the damage.

"What did you do tonight?" he asked me.

"Just went over stuff and did some occlumency. Everyone did really well with it," I said pointedly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he instantly flared and jumped into a standing position. His ears were going red which was a very bad sign.

I stayed calmly sat down and looked up at him. "That until you learn how to do it too I have to lie to one of my best friends."

"One? you don't mean Harry learned it too?"

"Yes," I snapped. "He knows what's at stake here. There's war going on and one day he will catch up with you and invade your mind which could get a lot of innocent people killed, not just the ones you know about." I very nearly made a major slip there, I nearly mentioned Draco, Lucius and Narcissa, but I just about managed to bite my tongue. "You know, it wouldn't be half so frustrating if you'd actually tried but you just sat there and did nothing!"

"You learned it too and you didn't tell me?" Ron demanded of Harry who did a good impression of a goldfish. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I just threw my hands up in the air and stomped upstairs so that I could flop on my bed.

Ginny sat next to me a moment later. "He's just being an idiot, Abigail," she soothed.

"He can't afford to be an idiot. No one can," I snapped.

"You know how he is though."

I rolled over so that I was on my back and looked at her. "I mean it. Even you, Ginny. We should have thought about teaching it sooner. It should have been the first thing on the list. It's the first thing I learned! How could I have missed something so simple!"

"Abigail –"

"If they go into battle that's one thing. It was their choice and their right, but if Tom gets tired of this game and comes after one of us, any one of us, and they have their mind invaded it will be my fault if their protection isn't good enough!" I was rambling by now, but I really didn't care. I was worried and I was scared. There were second, third, forth and fifth years in that group. None of them were old enough to fight in a war, and here I was teaching them how to fight.

I knew though that if I didn't help them learn they'd only get killed quicker. Death Eaters didn't fight fair, they didn't follow any rules of engagement. Everyone was a target. No one was safe. So better to fight even if you died in the end, because at least you'd been able to fight. And if you could fight there was a chance you could win.

Hermione came up a few minutes later after I'd grumbled at Ginny for a few more minutes whilst trying to get everything I needed for a shower together, but I couldn't focus on anything and kept either dropping things or forgetting things which made me so mad I shook even more. It was fortunate that Hermione didn't realise I was in a terrible mood because what she said to me brought me smashing to earth and completely grounded me.

"The heads of houses are going to explain to the first years who you are and what you do tonight. Professor McGonagall is down there now and would like you to talk about it with her."

I dumped everything on the bed, controlled myself and then slipped back down to the common room.

Ron was nowhere to be seen.

I sat between Harry and Minerva and let what would now be an annual discussion take place.

Wednesday 11th

Breakfast Time
Great Hall
Hogwarts

"Miss Snape?" Min asked.

I turned round from my breakfast and deep discussion with Ginny and Hermione. "Huh? Yeah?"

"Didn't you hear a word I just said?" she asked fondly. "My office tonight after dinner."

"Sure," I nodded and waited a beat before turning back to the conversation.

"You mean, he still hasn't asked you?" Hermione asked.

"That's kind of my fault," I sheepishly put in. Ginny glared. "Well, I knew Fred was going to try and ask me and I didn't want to go with him and Harry was dreading asking a girl out so we… joined forces," I winced when her glare got deeper. "But I can un-ask him and make it blatantly clear that you want to go with him. It's no problem!" I rambled, the shy, nervous Abigail that I didn't even see that much coming to the forefront. I was glad to see her.

"Well who will you go with?" Hermione asked just as Ginny said, "You better or I'm stuck with Cormic!"

"I don't know," I admitted. I wasn't too bothered in the grand scheme of things when staying alive was generally the top of my to do list, but it would have been nice to go with someone. I would have loved to go with Draco, but that wasn't going to happen. "I might ask Neville."

"I don't think he's asked anyone yet," Ginny murmured with a concentrated look in her eye.

"Okay, I'll fix it with Harry and then talk to Neville," I affirmed before Ginny could rant on about it.

"Miss Snape, aren't you supposed to be getting to class so that you're there on time? And you Potter, Miss Granger. Mr. Weasley is already on his way. You wouldn't want to be late now would you?"

"When the bell goes we have twenty minutes to get to our classes," I snapped.

"Mr. Potter's going over there too. The last I heard you were going –"

"I'm on my way," I snapped because Dumb-er-Dore was only a few feet behind her and I didn't want his surprise party ruined. It was in four days time and by some miracle he still didn't know about it and I wanted to keep it that way. It also meant that I could talk to Harry before class and get this whole thing with Ginny sorted.

"Alright, Abigail?" Dumb-er-Dore asked as I passed him.

"Got Umbridge, take a guess," I shrugged and walked out of the Hall passing Sev on the way. He looked pretty worse for ware but he shook his head at me. Grinding my teeth I walked passed him because the shake of his head meant he was fine, but I was going to find out why he had a slight limp and a bandaged wrist before the day was out. There was no way anyone was getting away with hurting him and not hearing from me.

Because I was walking so fast I caught up with Harry and Ron on the second floor. I still wasn't in the mood to talk to Ron and he didn't seem to want to talk to me either because although Harry slowed down when I called out to them Ron carried on a little faster than before.

"What's up, Abigail?" Harry asked noticing more than I'd intended.

"A few things none of which you can help with," I said. "You still want to go with me to the ball?" I asked.

"Sure," he nodded.

"Only I've noticed you've been falling for Ginny the last couple of weeks."

He blushed.

"She wants to go with you too. Damn well melted me with a glare when I told her that I'd asked you."

"Oh, sorry."

I laughed because it was a ridiculous thing to be sorry about. "Ask her. I release you from our agreement and you may go sweep up your damsel in distress. After DADA."

"Really?" he smiled hopefully.

"Yeah. I might ask Neville."

"I think I saw him up ahead, if we catch him you can talk to him before class."

Just Before Hogwarts Dinner Time
The Dark Lord's Private Study Entrance
Malfoy Manor
Wiltshire

I rapped my knuckles on Tom's door and barged my way in even though he was talking to Bellatrix who tried to yell at me for interrupting a private meeting.

"Out!" I commanded in no mood at all to be tested.

"Child –" Tom started.

"I said out, Bella!"

She scuttled out before even waiting for Tom's approval. I slammed the door behind her. Then I turned my piercing, hate and anger filled eyes to Tom. He was sat in his chair, clad in god-awful green robes as always and as ever bare footed. Somehow that was the most annoying thing about him. He went everywhere without shoes and his feet never got hurt.

He looked faintly amused. He wouldn't soon.

"Don't you trust me?" I demanded in a quiet voice. I'd never been this angry before though I wasn't sure who I was angry with most. I was angry with myself for giving him reason to doubt me and that reason was not getting the (dud) weapon to him last Easter, and angry with him for not trusting me even though my guise was flawless. I didn't even really need that much of a guise. I was his daughter and had said I loved him and that was enough. He was too proud to be able to think anything else. I'd never had reason to be this angry, but now that I was I somehow wasn't surprised that I used the same soft, quiet voice as Sev.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"I know it!" I snapped and then had to do some quick thinking. "Severus told me. Says that you set him to spy on me to make sure that I'm faithful! You should have asked me yourself."

"You saw that he is injured and showed him concern?" he asked showing a hint of anger.

"The students and staff are afraid, anything could have happened. I was making sure that I hadn't been compromised by them. But no. It was you! You set him up to spy on me when in the grand scheme of things he'll just fall by the way side when the war is over. It'll be you and whatever heirs I produce you in charge. Not even me and certainly not him."

I really hoped I hadn't just put Sev in danger by saying that, but I had a felling Tom had planned it that way since he decided I was going to be a figure of purity.

"You should remain loyal to your family, Child."

"I am. But never put him above me again. If you ever doubt me again you'll only regret it," I hissed and walked out.

He was the other side of the door before I had even opened it and his eyes were blazing fury. He gripped my arms in a hold so tight I could feel bruises forming and circulation was cut off. "Talk to me like that again, girl, and I will kill you," he hissed and it was way scarier than a snarl would have been. A snarl signalled a threat, a dare or a challenge. A hiss signalled a promise.

"I didn't say I was going to hurt you, old man," I snapped, panic making me lose my temper and falter a little. "It will be the consequences of not listening to me that will come back to haunt you. Go back to your study and read while I go do some real work."

"What do you mean by that?" he demanded in another sibilant hiss.

I saw Bella watching from around the corner and sent a spark of magic flying her way so that she would leave. It also helped me concentrate. "That Severus and I do the most dangerous work living right alongside Dumbledore and amongst the Order. Every day is a battle of survival as we know that any slip will cost us our lives and yet Bella can sit here in this mansion doing nothing and yet she is still the favourite. She even comes before me. Yet she does next to nothing!"

"She councils me," he told me in a calm, level tone.

"As so Severus and I and what do we get for it? Nothing. Just more danger."

"And do you not see that is why I must keep an eye on you? So that I know if I need to tell you to do something different or to improve a part of your character? I do not have to take this precaution with Severus because he is long practiced at it –"

"He taught me!"

"–Where as you are new to the chess board –"

"So now I'm a pawn!" I yelled, threw his hands off me and rise to my full height which was now tall enough to let me look him in the eye. "Just a pawn to be disposed of! Thank you very much, Father. That's really reassured me."

"You are my most valuable –"

"But Bella is the queen, isn't she?" I asked with incredulousness in my voice.

"Get me the stone and she won't be," he challenged.

"I'm working on it."

"Work faster," he snapped and took another step closer so that there wasn't any space separating us and grabbed me in the exact place around both of my arms as before. "I know you came here mostly in defence of your brother. Your love for him will have you killed."

"Do you know what love is?" I asked only now truly meaning the same thing as the words did. I still didn't know why I wanted his approval, but it was a desire I couldn't burry. I wanted him to love me even though I knew I'd never love him back.

"I know how it destroys people," he said and pushed me away from him. "Do not come back until you have it. You have two weeks." He went back into the office and slammed the door in my face.

I apparated back to the floo and landed in mine and Sev's rooms a moment later. He was pacing and grabbed me arms right over the bruises I already.

"Never do that to me again!" he yelled. "Do you have nay idea – You could have got yourself killed! Why weren't you thinking? Oh. Wait a minute Severus," he said and stepped away from me so that he could look down his nose at me and into my eyes. His were dripping in disapproval. "She's a Gryffindor."

"I set some parameters!" I snapped too angry with Tom and myself to not take it out on him. "He knows what I expect of him, I know what he expects of me. I didn't just go in there to yell at him for hurting you. I had a plan the whole time!" I lied.

"Do not lie to –"

"Agh!" I yelped when he squeezed too hard on my biceps.

He instantly jumped back a yard and shock crossed his face as well as a life time of sorrow. He'd never raised his hand to me even when I was three and testing his last nerve and he's sworn he'd never hurt me. But now he had, even though it wasn't his fault. He didn't know there were bruises there, but he'd blame himself anyway.

"It's fine," I stiffly said even though it wasn't at all. Though he was a monster of a human being he was still my father and father's weren't supposed to hurt you.

"What happened?" he asked to distract himself.

"I may have said something that he took as a threat even though it wasn't. Not exactly," I said and the eyebrow he raised at me ordered me to explain so I did. I told him everything that happened from the moment I got there to the moment I left. "The worst part is… I sometimes… I wonder if I'm becoming her. Riddle's daughter," I whispered with tears streaming down my face.

"War changes people, Abigail," he said softly and pulled me into his safe embrace. "You did what you had to."

"But I don't feel like me most of the time. I feel like a soldier and the real me only comes out every now and then," the lump in my throat made it difficult to talk and I had to stop there or risk bursting into tears.

I just stayed quiet for a moment wondering what to say. The exact same thing had happened to me during the first war. When it was just me in that year before Lily's death I had become nothing but a pawn, functioning because I had to and acting how I had to, to do both my job and stay alive. I wanted to tell her that it wouldn't happen to her but I'd be damned if I started lying to her now. I'd already hurt her tonight, something I would never forget or forgive myself for, but I wasn't going to lie to her.

"When the war's over we'll help each other heal," I promised instead.

"And if one of us doesn't make it?" she asked so quietly I almost didn't hear her. It was the one thought that plagued me too. I didn't worry about what would happen if the war was lost because if that happened we would both be dead anyway, but if I died and she survived? That thought scared me more than anything. I couldn't even bring myself to imagine how she would learn to cope if I wasn't here.

"Then we'll heal anyway as a way to remember the other."

She nodded into my shoulder and cried.

After the Dinner Hour
Minerva McGonagall's office
Hogwarts

Fortunately I didn't actually have to pay attention to the meeting regarding the headmaster's surprise birthday party. True I was expected to be there, but I most certainly didn't have to participate. The rest of the heads of houses talked animatedly with Abigail and Draco about decorations, food, how to distract Albus and a host of other things. It was decided I was to distract the headmaster.

"And how do you propose I do that?" I blandly enquired.

"Oh, you'll think of something, Severus. You're not clever for nothing," Filius waved off and went back to talking to Pomona about charms for the ceiling.

"Then I suppose I had better leave so that I can devise something."

Friday 13th

09:00
First lesson
Potions Classroom
Dungeons
Hogwarts

"Quiet," I warned the first years yet again and hit another one with a medium sized tome. Normally it would have been a thick one, but Abigail had scalded me this morning before breakfast about it knowing that I was going to get even more annoyed with everyone than normal. "One more peep out of any of you and it will be mass detention. Tonight."

There was blessed silence for the rest of the lesson.

Abigail's lesson – rather Abigail – was worse. I ended up ordering her to sit behind my desk.

"Oh but, Sev!" she complained like she always used to when she came here as a child and I told her to sit there.

"Now, or I will walk you to the door like I used to," I promised in a none to kind voice.

She pouted but got up from her desk and flounced over to my desk. She purposely scraped the chair along the floor making the diligently working Slytherins jump in their seats and then sulkily sat on the chair. Then she looked back to her desk where her book and quill were still sat. I sent it over to her with magic and kept her behind at the end of the lesson.

"Can I not trust at least you to do as you're told? You're normally proficient at it," I said.

"Come on, Sev. Light up a little. It's a party," she grinned.

"An excuse for frolicking, fornicating and general misdemeanours to occur and be overlooked."

She just rolled her eyes at me and shook her head. "With all that we're going to go through you should enjoy yourself tonight. You might not get another chance."

"That's why you're so excited," I realised.

She nodded. "You should be too. Let everyone off tonight. It's not just us that are going to be affected."

"You know that I do not enjoy parties." It was an understatement.

"Will you at least try to have fun?" she asked with big eyes and a wobble in her lip. I hated it when she did that because I inevitably did as she asked even if every fibre of my being told me that I was going to regret it. The last time had been when she begged me to take Narcissa to Daigon Alley to help her pick out a gift for Lucius's birthday.

"Fine," I sighed. "I will do my best."

Abigail just grinned and danced out of the room.

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Next time... It's party time and what has Severus let himself in for?

J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter

IDIOT ALERT: I realised when I was writing this chapter that I got the dates of the last few chapters wrong so I've gone back and changed them all. Nothing in the story has changed apart from the sorting is now on a Sunday instead of a Monday. But no actual content is different. So if you've had a bunch of emails (those of you who are following) about new chapters, ignore them and sorry for the spam if that is how the automated emails work. Anyway it's all fixed now and I feel much better for it :D