Chap. 36 Stupidity.
APOV
Ringing the doorbell I wait impatiently. This is very stupid, you will end up on the bottom of some river, or lake, or both. I raise an imaginary wall and that's it, the voice disappears. Of course, it's my mind, I should have known it would be that easy to put a stop to my subconscious.
I don't need smart advices now, my survival instincts will make me think this twice and I don't want my decisions to affect anybody else, especially Kate. I just hope he hasn't touched her yet. Christian was right, this could have been prevented if I wasn't such a coward, but I'll be the one paying for my mistake. Last time I was a coward, somebody else paid the prize.
The door buzzes and I head upstairs taking the steps two at a time. Breathless, I step into the apartment and freeze, he looks different, he has lost weight and his expression is dark. Four years ago he was a handsome young man, a jovial expression on his face most of the time. I realize I feel nothing, not even fear, I just want this to end, something cold running through my veins.
He has a gun, I should be careful.
"Where is she?"
"Ana, it's nice to see you too, you look well."
"Cut the crap, Paul, you have ten minutes before he's here with his security team, with the police. Where is she?" I don't want him nervous and anxious with the police outside shouting warnings at him, at least not while Kate is here.
He pales, he knows he's making a mistake, going too far. I'm not the lonely, helpless girl I was once and he knows it. Then, why?
"What is the difference? You told him and now he wants me dead. At least this way you are going with me."
I should tell Ray that even mental questions get awful answers.
"Is this your plan? To make me come here to kill me? I remember you smarter than that."
He chuckles and points to my pocket. "Fortunately, you are as stupid as I remember. Your cell phone." I put it slowly on the floor.
"Let's go."
"I won't move until you tell me where she is."
"One of the rooms. Don't worry, I don't like blond bitches."
"I know, but I want to see her."
"There." He points to the hall and walks carefully after me. The distance he's keeping between us tells me he knows I've been training all these years, I guess that won't be an advantage.
Kate is lying on 'my bed', her face covered in tears, a gag tied tightly around her head, her hands and legs tied together. I glare at Paul, always so unnecessarily cruel, but I feel better now that I know she'll be okay. Taylor will track my phone discovering Kate and releasing her. I need Paul and his gun out of the apartment, though.
I pull the door without shutting it, expecting them to find her quickly.
"What now?"
"You are coming with me."
We go down. Standing in front of an old white car, he opens the door.
"Get in."
He passes me a rope. "I want you to tie your legs together, above the ankles, wrap it round a few times." I do as I'm told because I'm not a ninja, this's not the moment to try anything, maybe later.
"Knit your hands together in front of you." I do as he asks and he binds my wrists together with some ugly, dirty tie, knotting it firmly and using the end of the rope that is restraining my legs to reinforce it. He tugs at the binding, it's secure. He then fastens my seatbelt, I can't move.
"Don't do anything stupid."
Stupid? More stupid than this? That's an impossible, but at least I'm the only one in danger. I sigh in relief, I can panic now.
And I do it, I panic, all my body shaking, I feel like fainting any second. Kate's maneuver helps me to keep breathing, I shouldn't faint, I need my five senses. The wall falls noisily inside my head releasing my primal instincts, they run wildly without knowing where to go, making me feel even worse.
Regret? No, there is no regret since Kate won't pay for my mistake. What about Christian? He will get over this, he has no choice. You promised. I had no choice. I know I'd end up in some mental institution if I have to deal with more guilt, especially if it involves Kate. I'm not a hero, I'm just being selfish. Any mental institution is better than Paul's hell. Paul's hell doesn't include being responsible for my friend's 'severe trauma'.
He starts talking again, his voice is now soft and hoarse at the same time.
"I let you go, you know? You are alive because I allowed it, and this's how you pay me back?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." I stare at my tied wrists, they hurt.
"Of course you do. I've been looking for her… now I know where she is."
Leila! So he blames me and wants her too, he wants both his girls. "You are sick Paul, you need help."
"Yeah, I remember you used to say that all the time."
"Because it's true."
There is a pause, we are heading out of the city.
"Where are you taking me?"
"To get her back. Fred is already there."
Fred? Who is that? Right, his uncle. I'm not worried about Leila, I know the first thing Taylor will do is to check on her, to have security looking after her, hoping Paul shows up to caught him. Isn't she on the other side of the country? This will be a long trip.
"What are you planning to do with us?"
"I'm still not sure, but we'll have some fun together, it'll be like old times."
Paul's hell!
It's like he's punched me in the stomach. A creeping cold fear grips my heart and my scalp prickles.
"It's not the same, Paul, you've kidnaped me this time. The police will be looking for us, I guess they already are."
He briefly glances at me and laughs; a strange, discordant sound that only feeds my anxiety.
"You think I don't know? I told you, Ana, wherever I'm going, you are coming with me."
Paul's hell!
The thought makes me nauseous. No, I won't go to that hell, maybe to the other one for doing what I'm about to do. I won't risk Paul getting away with this.
I close my eyes sending a message to Ray, to my mother, to Kate… a message to Christian.
Don't do it. Shut up. There is always a way out. Always? You know the statistics, most of the victims all around the world are women or girls, and they didn't have a way out. I realize I've chosen a solitary, self-centered, and resigned battle all these years when I should have chosen action, confrontation. So many women out there raising their voices against abuse and I was quiet, only worried about my own misery, my own nightmares, choosing to be a lonely victim, his victim.
I guess they will think I'm choosing selfishly and stupidly again… they'll be right. Don't do it. With a blink I raise the wall again and stay quiet, gathering strength and patience, waiting for the right moment, planning my movements.
And there it is, a curve and a cliff over the sea. Well, I did tell him that after freeing the butterfly, the owl-eyed fairy would fly toward the ocean.
Raising my legs I allow my hands some movement, I grab the wheel and pull with all the strength I'm capable of, closing my eyes and waiting for the impact while hearing his screams. I fall away into a painful darkness hoping he's coming with me to the worst unimaginable hell.
…
…
CPOV
"Sir, the police found her."
I look at Taylor allowing myself some hope after what I can only describe as the worst hours of my life. We've been driving in circles all around the city because I couldn't stay in my office waiting for news.
"Where?"
"Virginia Mason hospital, she was rescued from a car accident a few hours ago."
A car accident? "Are they sure?"
"Yes, sir. Paul Clayton was with her."
"Let's go, Taylor."
While he's driving I call Welch, I need to know more.
-"Welch, what do you know about this car accident?"
+"Not much, she is in a medically induced coma to prevent brain injury. She had a severe head trauma. She was lucky, Clayton didn't make it to the hospital."
I call my mother without processing all the information Welch provided, right now all I'm worry about is Anastasia.
+"Christian, did you find her?"
-"Mom, she is at Virginia Mason, induced coma. How bad is it?"
She remains in silence, which makes me nervous.
+"That's uncommon, I need to know more before giving you my opinion. I'll meet you there, darling"
Uncommon, that's uncommon. The word resonates inside my head with an agonizing echo. Anastasia is as uncommon as her state, so she will be fine. I know it, I hope it, she promised.
Looking up through the window of the car, I try to find Anastasia's stars to ask them to help her, to ask them for a drought of meteor showers. I need her here with me.