2010
Cameron walked into House's office. Reilly sat at House's desk and House was sprawled out on his lounger.
"Just got a page from the ER," she told them. "Cop was brought in. He's been shot-"
"Boring," House told her.
"And euphoric. Tox screen is clean. No apparent reason for him to be so happy," Cameron finished.
"Not so boring," Reilly said.
Later that afternoon, the whole team was gathered in the conference room reading over the patient file.
"According to Baby Shoes, the cop was laughing before he got shot," Kutner commented.
"Baby Shoes?" Volakis asked incredulously as she flipped through the file. "Real reliable witness."
House stuck two CT scans up on the light board. "His name's Baby Shoes. How bad can he be?" He pointed at the scans. "Bullets are in the wrong place to cause euphoria. And we already know it's not drugs." He looked over at Volakis. "What'd Wilson say?" he asked her.
She looked up and grinned slowly. "We're getting a condo and we're not getting married."
"He's so gullible," Kutner commented. "Joe's got a cough, cloudy lungs and elevated heart rate. What about carbon monoxide poisoning?"
"His heart rate is elevated because he got shot," Volakis told him.
"What if it was elevated before he got shot?" Kutner shot back. "I say we test him for carbon monoxide poisoning."
House held out his cane. "Go test him." Kutner got up and left. "CB, go check out his house."
"Why me?" she complained. "I did the last three."
"Because I arbitrarily decided it's your turn. Again."
Her eyes narrowed but she got up, grabbed her purse and started to leave.
"Bring Daddy back lots of good samples," House told her. She left and he turned to look at Cameron.
"Any ideas?" he asked her.
"I think I should go check out his partner," she told him. "If Joe does have CO poisoning, his partner would be sick, too."
House nodded. "Go check out the precinct, too. And while you're there, pay my parking tickets."
She nodded, got up, grabbed her bag and left. Reilly leaned back in her chair.
"She has your checkbook," she told him. "You never took her off your account. She, however, took you off hers."
"Shit!" House growled. "I never should have let you talk me into doing that!"
"She kept you from being overdrawn each month. You order way too much pay-per-view porn. Besides, I kind of hoped it would push you to marry her."
"Now I have to pay for all those tickets."
"Exactly."
Kutner returned first. "Low level CO poisoning," he said as he sat down. "But, it's not high enough to cause that level of giddiness. I asked about toxins in his home or at work. He said he keeps a clean house and there's nothing he knows about at work. Oh, and he's still happy, happy, happy, happy. I put him in the hyperbaric chamber."
"Good," House told him. "But that doesn't rule out the cough, cloudy lungs or elevated heart rate." He looked at his watch. "Who's hungry?" He looked at Kutner and Reilly. "Let's get some lunch and then we'll see how our happy-go-lucky cop is doing."
After lunch, Kutner went to check on Joe and Cameron returned. She handed House a receipt.
"Your tickets are paid and there is a leaking air conditioner near the cop's desk," she told him.
"Checkbook," he told her holding out his hand.
She smiled and pulled it from her purse. He snatched it from her and put it in his back pocket.
"Anyway," she said. "I'm thinking Legionnaires'. It takes forty-eight hours to test, though."
"It's quicker to just treat him," House told her.
An hour later, Volakis came back. "I need a detox shower," she shuddered as she hung her bag on the coat rack. "I took all the samples down to the lab. His place was more disgusting than a landfill and smelled worse, too. Oh, he has a grow house. He's high because he's high. All that marijuana-"
Kutner ran in. "He's blind," he panted.
Cameron came in behind him. "He's also having muscular contractions."
"Hmmm," House said stroking his chin. "Maybe he really is sick. Did you treat the Legionnaires?"
Cameron nodded. "We'll know more about that in a few hours."
Reilly stood up. "I'll go check his eyes with a slit lamp."
"CB, go with Reilly to check on Officer Krupke," House ordered.
"I'll start testing the samples Amber brought in," Cameron said.
Kutner looked at his watch and sighed. "I'll go do my clinic duty."
Once they were all gone, House looked around. "I'll go take a nap."
He was sprawled out in his lounger snoring softly when Cameron and Reilly entered. Reilly shook him awake. He yawned and stretched.
"He thinks he can see," she told him. "His brain just can't process it. So I did a complete transthoracic echocardiogram. His heart is clean."
"We need to do a contrast MRI but we can't because of the bullet fragments," Cameron added.
Volakis strolled into the office and smiled at them all. "I gave him Warfarin to break up the clots." She stopped and laughed. "He started shooting blood everywhere. Whoo! What a mess! Then he had a seizure. Really cool. So, I sent him to the OR so they can drill a hole in his head." She laughed again.
House sat up and looked at her. "You're laughing."
She chuckled. "It was like a horror movie in there."
"Oh, Jesus," Reilly sighed. "Whatever the cop has Amber has. Let's get her to an isolation room."
"I'm not sick," Volakis protested with a laugh. "Am I?"
"Afraid so," House told her.
Three days later, Volakis paced the isolation room. She coughed. Two days earlier, House infected her with Legionnaires to slow the process of the unknown disease. She was pale, sweating and her eyes were red rimmed. Wilson and House stood outside. The cop, Joe, lay in a hospital bed, sedated. Whatever was making him sick caused the pain receptors in his brain to stop working. Volakis put him in a coma. He was no longer screaming in pain but he was still experiencing it.
"Putting me in here with him WILL make me sick!" she protested. She looked accusingly at House. "Or sicker than I already am, thanks to you tossing that vial of poison in here."
"Amber," Wilson said putting his hands on the glass separating them. "You were laughing. He was bleeding and seizing and you were laughing. That's how it started for him."
"Well, if you aren't sick, then he's not contagious," House told her. "Good news is that Reilly and Kutner are bringing a portable MRI to scan your bullet free brain. I'll be back once we have the results of the MRI."
House, Reilly, and Kutner stared at the MRI film in the light box.
"There's an area of increased T-2 attenuation in her cingulate cortex," Reilly pointed out.
"Could be any number of brain based viruses," Kutner replied. "Or bacterias considering what Amber said his place looks like."
"Or it could be a toxin," Reilly added. "Since Amber is the only one affected, it's unlikely that it's passed from person to person. Whatever it is, she got while at that apartment."
House looked around. "Where's Cameron?" he asked.
"You don't think she'd go back?" Reilly asked.
"Caring Compassionate Cameron? Would she go back for one of her BFFs?" House asked sarcastically. "Keep an eye on our two happy campers. I'll be back."
Cameron exited the tarp covering the apartment through a slit. She carried a large garbage bag and wore a dark blue biohazard suit. When she saw House sitting on a chair in the hallway, she pulled the helmet off.
"Double checking for something CB might have missed?" he asked as he stood up and barred her way with his cane. He looked down at her. "Are you really going to marry Soccer Guy?" he asked softly as he stared intently at her.
"Yeah, I am," she breathed. Then she looked away and blew out her breath. "I found a lot of rye bread." She pulled several bags of the bread out of the trash bag.
"Now what would our stoner cop want with so much rye bread?" House mused.
"Pigeons," Cameron said. "There's a whole bunch of pigeons outside the apartment." She dropped the bag, put her helmet back on, and walked over to one of the windows lining the hallway. Pushing it open, she started to climb out when House's cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket.
"What?" he asked. He listened and then hung up. "CB's blind and Wilson's got the chaplain in there trying to get her to marry him."
Cameron looked back at him and then climbed out the window. She walked along the narrow alleyway.
"I see a lot of pigeons but no pigeon crap," she yelled. She jerked when a pigeon flew past her and crashed into the wall. "Blind pigeon."
House climbed out after her. He limped along scanning the walls. When he came to the ladder leading up to the roof, he motioned for Cameron.
"He's not an ordinary, run of the mill dirty cop," House told her. "He's a thief. My guess is he's irrigating the grow house with water from the water tank and fertilizing using pigeon shit. Climb up and get a sample of the water."
Cameron pulled a sample bottle out of her pocket. "You thinking Naegleria?"
"Yeah," he said. "Go!"
They returned to the hospital and House hovered over Cameron as she tested the water from the water tank. She looked up from the microscope. "It's riddled with Naegleria."
House turned to Kutner who hovered in the doorway. "They have Primary Amoebic Meningoencephalitis," House told him. "Start them on amphotericin B, rifampin, dexamethasone, miconazole, and phenytoin."
Kutner nodded and ran off.
"So, Wilson dragged the chaplain in to perform a marriage ceremony?" Cameron asked.
"What can I say?" he smiled. "He's a drama queen. CB has completely emasculated him."
"She doesn't want to get married," Cameron commented as they began to walk down the hallway to the elevators. "But she does want to be with him."
"Unlike you," House smirked.
"I have some news," she told him. "I'm pregnant."
House stopped walking and stood still as he processed the information.
"Well, since we haven't slept together in a couple years, either I possess some miraculous sperm or Soccer Guy is going to be a dad."
"It's Nate's," she smiled. "And we're both happy about it. I'm due in five months so we're going to the courthouse on Friday to get married. I'd like you to be there."
"Is Soccer Guy okay with your ex boy toy being there?"
"Yes," she told him as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. "He likes you and trusts me."
They entered the elevator. House tapped his cane on the floor and watched the number flash past. Suddenly he stiffened and looked over at her.
"House?" she asked touching his sleeve lightly.
"You went into that cesspool knowing you were pregnant?" he asked in shock. "What the fuck, Cameron! And you were around those flying rodents! Jesus Christ!" He slammed his hand against the stop button.
"I was wearing a Hazmat suit," she told him. "I told my ob-gyn where I was going and she okayed it. I haven't gone anywhere near the cop or Amber, either."
"No more unnecessary risks." He looked down at her.
"I promise. Now, are you going to come to my wedding? Reilly is the matron of honor," she told him.
"Are you making her wear a truly hideous bridesmaid dress?" he asked as he hit the button and the elevator began to move again.
She laughed. "No, sorry. So, you'll come?"
"What time?" he asked.
"Ten thirty in the morning. You can go straight from home to city hall," she smiled.
"Wouldn't miss it," he said as the elevator doors opened and he got out. Cameron watched him limp away then pushed the button for the isolation floor.
Joe, the cop, died the next day. The CDC came and removed his body. Volakis remained in the isolation room for a week before being moved to a room on the fourth floor. House, Reilly, and Kutner attended the wedding. House sat silently as Cameron became Allison Henderson. Wilson stayed with Volakis but sent the couple a Kitchen Aid mixer with all the attachments. After the ceremony, they all went out to lunch then Cameron and Nate left for their honeymoon while the others returned to work. House was unusually quiet but Reilly gave him his space while keeping watch over him.