Author's Note: Ahh... finally a new chapter. If you all saw the previous note that I put as a chapter, then that explains just about everything I would put in here. I'm so excited to finally be able to update, my fingers are going keyboard happy on me and can't contain themselves. This chapter is really dark and there is some mention of past things that will definitely tie up what Hyde wouldn't tell people, like Donna (reference to the Airplanes chapter and what happened in Howard's Tale) if you were wondering. That's about it though. I hope you enjoy!

Also, thanks to new information from nannygirl, I made a mistake again. Instead of them being a year older than I originally had, they go back to the original ages that I had so... Kelso- 16, Donna-16, Eric-16, Hyde-15, Jackie-14, Fez-15.

Love Always,

Angie

PS: Study hall= more updates. Ka-ching! :P

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface; consuming, confusing. This lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling. I can't seem to find myself again; my walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure. Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real. Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me; distracting. Reacting against my will I stand beside my own reflection; it's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again my walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure...

The coffee maker gurgled loudly in the kitchen as Hyde dragged his practically half asleep body through he small, cluttered room. Dirty dishes were scattered along the counter top, and wrappers of frozen food and beer cans littered the stained linoleum. His head rested against the warm freezer door even though he needed to get into the fridge for some food. He didn't know why he was tired, nine hours of sleep was rare for Hyde, but all he wanted to do was lay on hi s mattress and completely conk out.

Edna was at her biannual trip to the police station; he got the call last night at one in the morning. He had started laughing on the phone when he got a call from the cops. Apparently, they thought it best for her to go to rehab, but they didn't have the money. Hyde had told them that a week in solitary would do her good. He didn't mind having the house to himself; it was nice and quiet and he could do whatever he wanted. Hopefully she'd stay in jail for awhile so he wouldn't have to deal with her for awhile.

The fifteen year old groaned drowsily, eyes blurry from sleep and he yawned loudly. Another good thing about Edna being in prison was that he could walk around in his pajamas freely; which today was his cotton white boxers.

It was unusual for Hyde to be up this early in the morning, especially for summer. While 8:15 was normal for most people to wake up, for Hyde that was pretty much the time that he fell asleep. Unfortunately though, Eric was returning from his vacation today, and was making everyone go to his house extra early; as long as he got some of Mrs. Forman's cooking, he would be okay.

Once his coffee was finished brewing, Hyde poured himself a steaming cup of joe. He contemplated on adding sugar, yet decided to just take it black, better effect. Taking a gulp from the steaming drink, he felt the scalding liquid burn his throat, but he didn't mind. Taking the cup back to his room, he cracked his window open a tad, so a ventilating system would release the smoke that would soon permeate the room. To be honest, about 18 hours of the day, Hyde was high. And his selection of drugs had grown just a bit more than the grass. He kept most of the dutchie for the circle, but he did hit that most often, because mellow was what he was looking for. But he had his own dealer up in Kenosha, not a burnt out drunk asshole like his mom's, but a kid who was just a few years older than himself. He didn't do heroin and meth like his mom, amphetamines weren't his thing. But hallucinogens were. Sometimes he got so twisted off of acid, he thought he was at school naked when he was really sitting at the couch. Or he thought that there was a blue monkey flinging around in his room when there was nothing, and then he'd pass out. Those trips were fun. And on a rare, yet special occasion, he dipped into shrooms. Yet most of the time it was just pot.

Hyde sat at the edge of his broken mattress, his knees bent upwards and his feet spread in opposite directions. Under his mattress was a small cloth bag that he kept his drug paraphernalia in. Pulling out his pipe and plastic baggie full of his stash, Hyde carefully packed the grounds in the pipe. Coffee long forgotten, Hyde lit the pot and breathed in slowly, the smoke filling his lungs, until he felt it burn at his throat. Holding in the smoke, he tapped his foot out of boredom, feeling rather lonely. It was weird to smoke all by himself in a quiet room, maybe he'd turn on his radio, but there was something about the solitude. Sometimes he absolutely loved toking by himself, it was so calm and peaceful. But he loved circle time so much more, the conversations with the guys were just hilarious and right now he needed some humor, or at least a break to forget about the events of last night.

He had been a week out of prison when his mom had been arrested, that was last night. He knew she wouldn't be back for awhile, thank God. It had been her fault that she got arrested; she had gotten pissed at him for some ridiculous reason; he left the toilet seat up after he took a piss. And last night she was completely fucked up from alcohol and her drugs, and last night just happened to be the rare time where she got physical and abusive. He ended up with a gnarly puncture wound from his own knife in his side, and a pretty big fat lip. And because it was her, deep inside he felt that she had every right to hurt him, to hate him. He ruined everything for her, and not just her stupid water skiing career. So he allowed her to.

And since she beat him, since she left in a rage and got pulled over, drunk, he had been alone with his own thoughts and that was definitely not good. The visits to the Forman residence were null because they had been on vacation for the past week to celebrate Laurie's graduation. But now they were back, and Eric was having everyone over to hang out, and he promised a huge breakfast. Normally, Hyde would be over the moon to eat anything Kitty cooked, even old leftovers that he had snuck before, but the thought of food really put him off today.

After hit after hit of the pipe, Hyde finally exhaled his last huff. He grimaced as he folded his baggie, then stuffed it in his blue bag, along with the pipe. The fifteen year old set a couple of rolled joints on his bed, later to be put in his pockets once he was dressed, in case they had a circle, which he hoped they would.

Now his eyes turned back to the white cup of coffee that was still probably warm. His high self didn't know if he wanted to drink it, but his tired self won the case and his hand reached out for the mug. As he guzzled down the dark drink, Hyde stared at the floor, backed way beyond comprehension, and just sat there. What the hell were they going to do at Forman's? And was he going to be up for it? He itched to dabble with the acid, yet he didn't want to be tripping whilst with his friends, they'd be beyond freaked out, as well as he.

He sighed softly, now slowly pacing his room as he racked his brain, trying to think of what he had been about to do. It was important, and on the tip of his tongue, yet the answer was just out of his reach. Hyde absentmindedly slipped his boots on the wrong feet and walked out of his room, scratching his head in confusion. As he opened the screen door, Hyde stuffed his hands in his pockets and stopped dead in his tracks, noticing two things. One, the joints weren't in his pockets, they were still on the bed. And also, the big one; he didn't have any pockets, because-

"I'm not wearing any pants!" Hyde chortled, finally his memory caught up to him. He turned around, face red from his laughing fit and stumbled back into his bedroom to dress himself.

Digging around in his self made dresser, Hyde finally found his only pair of jeans and stumbled as he attempted to put them on. Thankfully, the belt was already through the loops, he just had to slip the two ends together. And he needed socks, and to switch his shoes around as well.

Before he left, he made sure to slip the joints in his pocket, as well as his lighter. Hopefully he wasn't forgetting anything else, and if he did, he'd make Forman drive him back home. As Hyde closed the door once again, he glanced back at his house and shook his head

Twenty minutes later in the June air, Hyde walked up to the sliding glass door of the Forman's. He was thankful for the sunglasses, especially today, but little did he know, the gang knew something was up.

"Hey," he mumbled, voice sounded airy, yet gruff. His five friends, who were gathered around the kitchen table with heaping plates of food just stared at him. The girls' eyes were wide and full of concern, that also included Eric, while Fez and Kelso were laughing hysterically.

"What's up with you?" Jackie asked, nose wrinkled, he rolled his eyes, yet was confused.

"Huh?" he replied, Donna chuckled softly, taking a sip from her orange juice.

"First off, you're passed baked," Eric mumbled.

"Where's your shirt?" Kelso cried, Hyde's hands quickly flew to his abs, where there was in fact, no clothing, and managed to knock off his glasses in the process.

"Ai..." Fez whimpered as everyone just gawked at their currently messed up friend.

"I knew I forgot something," Hyde finally spoke, making Kelso and Fez laugh once more, yet the other three didn't find this funny at all.

"What's that?" Donna pointed to the scabbed hole right under his rib where Edna had punctured him.

"Edna stabbed me, it's all good though," When he started laughing, none of them joined in. "Gave me a fat lip too... but she's in jail, so-"

"What?" The group exclaimed, Eric stood up, next to him and began to walk out of the room.

"Hyde, come on, you need a shirt," Hyde shrugged and followed Eric through the living room in silence. "Seriously, man, what'd you do? How much?"

"I'm obliviated, man," Hyde replied, then started laughing, Eric rolled his eyes and sneered as he shook his head, dragging Hyde by the arm up the carpeted stairs to his room.

Eric was a little worried about Hyde, this didn't seem like the normal circle shit; Hyde always acted normal, or close to normal at least when he did pot. This was like something worse, where he wouldn't have any control, like now. Like the pot was laced, or he tried some of Edna's stuff. But Eric knew how Hyde felt about Edna's drugs, he'd never do them. So what the hell was his friend on?

"Hyde, you're sure you just did pot?" Hyde nodded slowly, Eric noted he looked a bit pale and his forehead was damp with sweat. Hyde shivered and blinked drowsily, then nodded once more. What was the question? "Where'd you get it?"

"Kenosha," he mumbled, leaning back on Forman's bed. This felt so much better than a broken mattress.

"Is it the stuff we do?" Hyde was seriously getting sick of Eric's questions, wasn't he just supposed to get a shirt and join everyone else again? He watched as Forman searched through his drawers for something that Hyde would wear, which was quite difficult; they had way different styles of clothing.

"Yeah?" The questioning of hi sown answer made Eric uneasy about his friend.

"So... why is Edna in jail?" Hyde stared up at the ceiling and scoffed, folding his arms over his stomach.

"Drunk driving, it's cool though," Eric chuckled at Hyde and tossed him a plain black shirt.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, thanks for the shirt, Forman." Hyde murmured, quickly wriggling into the shirt. He knew that wasn't what Eric had meant, but Hyde wasn't a talker, they all knew that. And Forman's questions were serioulsy pissing him off. He didn't talk, he bottled them in... they all knew that. Eric just needed to back off, he was already in risky territory. Or if Eric had been talking about the drugs, Hyde had been lying. He knew that stuff wasn't pure marijuana, yet Forman didn't need to know that. He had smoked pot, so technically he hadn't been lying. It was just a little lie. The new kind of stuff he got was so much better than the circle stuff, yet he wouldn't introduce it to any of his friends. Hopefully they wouldn't be able to tell, and hopefully Forman believed him... he just needed to come down a bit.

As he made his way back to the kitchen, Hyde saw everyone was just staring at him. He didn't know exactly why he was the center of attention, and though it was really stupid that he was; he was just high. It's not like they hadn't seen him like this before.

"So... what are we doing today?" Hyde asked, trying to act normal. Kelso's face lit up.

"I know! Eric just got a trampoline!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"What is a trampoline?" Fez asked, Hyde rolled his eyes, wondering

how Fez couldn't know what a trampoline was, even though he had been there for a year already. He also wondered how Kelso could still be so childish, though immaturity and Kelso went hand in hand. Jackie looked quite annoyed with her boyfriend and his idea, and Donna and Eric both had solemn expressions etched into their faces.

"You guys can go out," Eric finally mumbled, "we'll be out in a few minutes." Hyde sighed and stood up, giving the two their alone time that they wanted. But once he started to follow a practically leaping Kelso and a skipping Fez, Eric shoved him back down into his chair.

"What are you doing, Hyde?" Donna asked angrily, "you're so high you can't remember to get dressed? That's not your pot, it's gotta be something else." Hyde shook his head, not able to believe that they were giving him an intervention. Why did they care about how fucked up he was? At least he wasn't doing anything hardcore like his mom, couldn't they be happy about that?

"And your mom hurt you? Why? God, Hyde, it could be serious!"

"But it's not!"

"I meant the stab wound, not the issue," Eric growled as his hawk eyes glared down at Hyde, who just stared at the floor.

"Listen, she's in ail, she's rarely hurts me, it's not like-" Hyde stopped himself, only Donna knew about his dad, and she didn't even know everything. He wasn't about to tell Eric anything about Bud, at least not willingly.

"Not like what?" Donna asked calmly, sitting down next to him. He just stared into her brown eyes and hoped she could see passed his eyes, into his thoughts that were pleading for her to not talk about it. She knew about the situation, so why did she press him. Donna chose to ignore his silent plea and answered her own question. "About yoru dad beatingyou when you were younger? About how the scars on your arms and stomach are from your dad's switchblade? About how-"

"Why are you doing this?" Hyde whispered weakly, voice breaking as he trembled softly. Every word she spoke brought the harsh brutality back into his mind, he could feel it all beating down upon him and he just wanted to run. And she promised to care, and now put him through hell all over again. There were reasons he kept quiet, there were reasons he never spoke about his feelings; he was terrified. And he was looking into the reason why he was terrified; nothing could be kept quiet, no matter how much you want it to.

"Wait, Bud really did abuse you?" The two took Hyde's uncomfortable silence and ashen face as a yes. He watched his memories pass back through his mind, every hit against him, ever beat and lash he could feel stinging his skin just like it really was happening. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe. He felt it all and he just wanted to scream. He needed to get away, now.

"Hyde? Are you okay?" He heard Donna ask, he was like a stone, she saw his eyes since they weren't hidden (he had forgotten his sunglasses at home). For the first time she saw why he always wore the damn shades; you could see everything the fifteen year old felt, and as soon as she saw the terrified yet vacant eyes, she regretted even saying anything. Where had he gone to? Eric glanced at her, looking quite worried about their friend's state.

'Do something,' he mouthed, Donna sighed softly.

"Hyde, it's o-" as she placed her hand on the back of his shoulder, as a way of reassurance, Hyde jumped violently against her touch, flinching madly. "Snap out of it, Hyde, it's just me!" Still shaking, he glacned up at her; he couldn't speak, because if he did, he knew he'd spill his darkest secret, what could sometimes still haunt him if only his mind drifted back to his childhood... which he forbade himself to do.

"Can we just go?" HE finally murmured, Eric and Donna glanced at each other momentarily, then shook their heads."I don't want to talk, I can't, I'm not like you two!" He bellowed, still quivering. "I can't... I can't do this."

"Answer our questions, it's easy." Donna responded, Hyde glowered at the pair and stood up once more, and zipped passed them, quick only because he didn't want them to catch him. Donna, with good intentions, pounced on his back, making the two of them fall on the linoleum of the kitchen, close to the glass door. She landed flat on his back, and at first she thought Hyde was laughing, yet Eric pressed his finger to his lips for her to silence her chuckles. Hyde was shaking violently, shoulders wracking as he panted and whimpered indistinct words on the floor. Donna needed to get off. Now.

"Donna, stop, get off, get off, get off, get off, GET OFF!" Finally once he shouted and she could understand him, the 16 year old flew off, now pale faced with concern.

"Why are you freaking out, man?" Eric asked, deeply concerned. What the hell was his best friend hiding in there? How could he not notice how tormented he was before? Hyde was deeply disturbed by something in the past, something he shouldn't keep bottled up. But. It had to be Bud. Eric knew reverse psychology, well then again, Hyde did too. But Kelso's theory of two Hyde's came to his head, and looking down at his troubled friend curled on the floor, he had a feeling that wasn't Hyde at all. It was Steven.

"Is it Bud? What did he do?" Eric asked, "I mean, there's gotta be something else besides a couple of beatings. That's not enough to haunt somebody. Or are you just a pussy?" Eric was only trying to have Hyde open up, not drag him farther into his vault of God awful memories. Donna just looked at Eric in absolute shock, wondering why Eric was being so cruel.

Hyde took a deep breath and glanced up at his friends with such sad eyes from his curled position. They weren't going to give up on finding out what he wouldn't tell them, what he didn't want to admit. Gazing down at the floor, knees pulled tightly to his chest, head bowed on his knees, Hyde barely whispered his secret.

Donna and Eric glanced at each other, unable to hear what he said, only that he did speak; he had spoken too fast and way too quiet for them to understand anything.

"What?" Donna asked, kneeling next to her best friend. Slowly his blue eyes glance dinto her doe brown eyes and he spoke just a tad bit louder, and a tiny bit slower. She watched his lips move, she could read lips, and as he spoke, she pieced the three worded sentence together. Hyde saw the shock of his words cross her face, she looked about ready to throw up.

"What?" Eric asked again, confused. Hyde felt his lip snarl and his face heat with sudden anger as he snapped out of his sensitive sight; the transformation was quick, and slightly scary. He shouldn't have to say it three God damn times.

"I WAS RAPED!" he screamed, voice full of emotion. "I was seven fucking years old, Bud got pissed at me 'cause I got high, and he was drunk off his ass and he... he... he fucking raped me!" Hyde shouted, not knowing that he had tears flowing freely out of his eyes. When Hyde saw that Eric and Donna weren't looking at him, but behind him with wide eyes, he slowly turned around. That's when he came face to face with Mr. and Mrs. Forman, who appeared to have just gotten home from grocery shopping.

"Steven-"

"Hyde-"

"NO!" He cried, bolting out of the room before anyone could stop him. There were footsteps behind him, yet he was faster. The front door in the living room slammed shut loudly as he continued on as fast as possible, feet barely even touching the two steps of stairs on their front porch as he ran.

Hyde went crazy. Two hours after he had ran from the Forman's, he at in his bedroom, punching the wall furiously. His hands were mangled and bleeding, there were even blood flecks and sots on the wall from his consistent blows. How stupid had he been to tell his friends the thing he never wanted anyone to know? How could he just give in like that? It was so unlike him to be vulnerable and actually talk, especially in front of his friends. He didn't quite understand why conversations of Bud had that affect on him. Just the thought of his father scared him, speaking of the bastard only made it worse.

As well as his furious punches and anger, Hyde had thrown up; a lot. Just feeling as she as he did made him sick, literally. After admitting it for the first time, after actually hearing the words, he just felt so disgusting, completely fucked up. Hyde couldn't handle stress or feelings very well, and dealing with them was twice as bad. So in the end he always threw up, which he didn't know if that was normal though. But he figured a buildup of stress and feelings that were finally being released would do that to someone, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

Hyde stared at his hands, the knuckles raw and bleeding. He just didn't know what to think, what the hell was wrong with him? Why did he just tell Eric and Donna? Now they were probably terrified of him, or disgusted by him, which would really hurt. What if they quit associating with him because they thought he was a freak, when in reality it wasn't even his fault? Donna promised that she'd always be there, and the guys had all became blood brothers, they even redid it when Fez came along. Would they abandon him because of this? Would they be like everyone else?

Hyde's back slid down the wall, Eric's shirt discarded, more like thrown in a rage, on the floor clear across the room. He remained in the same exact position that he had been in the Forman's kitchen; knees tucked tightly against his chest, arms hanging limp over his legs, bloody fingers bent limply as they dangled mere inches from the floor. His head hung low, forehead resting against his knee capt as he breathed slowly and deeply.

He remembered the first night. No one went to his baseball game, so he got high later that night in retaliation. Edna had told Bud that he was smoking, and that they were Bud's, so the asshole got pissed, he was beyond drunk, and high off his ass, and gave him the worst beating he had ever been given. Hyde remembered so clearly how his own blood had spilled onto his white sheets from the gash in his stomach, the same sheets that were on his bed to this day. Then, he took off his baseball short and he-

Hyde lurched forward as he retched once more, his head pounded dully and painfully as he did so. He didn't hear anyone open the door or walk in the creaky house as he threw up again. His mouth burned from the bile, and he could hardly breathe; this was not going to be fun to clean up.

"Knock, knock," Hyde jumped, startled as he glanced up at the unexpected visitor.

"Donna," he mumbled hoarsely, bleary eyed.

"You're... Hyde are you okay? What did you do to your hands?" Donna cried, sitting down next to him, despite the fact that there was puke on the floor.

"Punched the wall." She sighed softly and shook her head, placing her hand on his knee.

"Why do you do this, Hyde?" He just glanced at her, unsure of what to say. "You know that we're always here for you, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Your dad is a disgusting man who put you through hell, but it's not your fault. Hyde, do you want to talk about it?" Hyde shook his head slowly, then hesitantly shrugged... what was the use of not talking about things when they were already out in the open?

"Living room," he mumbled flatly, slowly standing up off of the floor. He followed Donna out, yet first turned tot he bathroom to brush his teeth. His face was gaunt, with large bags under his eyes from getting sick. As he brushed his teeth, Hyde felt a little queasy once more, yet he wouldn't throw up... yet. Hopefully not at all. The mint flavor tasted amazing compared tot he acid in his mouth, and after spitting out majority of the foam, he swallowed what little was left in his mouth. He sighed softly, wiping his clammy brow and stared in the mirror once more, bare eyed. He was so ashamed.

Without another thought, Hyde slowly walked into his room, to find Dona sitting patiently on the couch. He sat beside her and smiled weakly, unsure of what else to do.

"Hyde... when you were seven, was that," Donna paused and sighed softly, "the only time?" Hyde looked away, hands clasped together. He didn't really want to talk about it, but Donna would make him. "Steven, answer me, please?" Hyde felt Donna press her hand on his bare shoulder, he just looked at her, wondering why she didn't all him Hyde like usual. Was it just to get his attention?

"No," he whispered, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly; he just rested his head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, why would he do that to you? Why didn't you tell me? Or someone else?" Donna asked ,Hyde just shivered against her touch as she lightly rubbed her back.

"I don't know," he replied in a sigh, then smirked, "is this just an excuse to touch me?" he lightly joked, which made Donna chuckle and lightly punch his arm.

"No, and don't try to change the subject, Hyde," Donna growled with a smile, "Does your mom know about it?" He nodded and she scowled, disgusted.

"She watched the first time, she fucking watched and didn't do a damn thing. I thought I was going to die, Donna, I was just a kid and..." he trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence.

"I know... I'm sorry, Hyde. IT was sick of your dad, just... awful! But what I want to know is... are you okay about it? Like now?"

"Yeah... I just didn't want you guys to know, I don't think about it. Man, I can't think about it. This is what happens." He pointed to himself and Donna just smiled sadly, leaning into him.

"You could have told me though, Hyde. I mean you shouldn't hold things in like that. I mean... this is extremely serious!"

"I know, Donna, I don't really want to talk about it though," That was the end of the matter. "So... what did Forman say?" Donna chuckled and rested her head on his chest, Hyde smiled softly as she did so.

"Well, Mrs. Forman started crying after you left and Eric got sick... then we had to go to the hospital because Kelso and Fez double bounced Jackie off of the trampoline and she broke her arm, in case you were wondering about them..." Hyde shook his head as he laughed softly, and began running his hand through Donna's hair subconsciously. She actually moved in to his touch, which surprised him, and gave him hope.

"Forman puked?" he finally asked, Donna nodded, eyes closed. "And uh... is Jackie alright?"

"Yep,"

"Uh... Donna?" He asked timidly, she looked up at him and he smiled faintly, "uh thanks for... you know... coming over and... yeah,"

"Mhmm..." she mumbled, and Hyde smirked, "I really care about you, Hyde, I want you to be okay." Everything was quiet for awhile, they just sat together in silence, with innocent touches that was a form of comfort more than anything else. But he hadn't noticed that his hand moved from her hair to her arm and sides, until she shivered, yet pretended not to notice.

"So, when does your mom get back?" Donna asked softly, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, whenever an uncle decides to get her, three weeks at most." He replied, discretely gazing wistfully at Donna.

"I'm sorry about your parents... I don't know how you do it. I mean your dad is gone, thank God, but your mom's here and she's-"

"Pretty screwy," Hyde finished bluntly.

"-Yeah, I just feel bad, but you do okay... right? Does it bother you?"

"How often do I play guitar?" He responded with a question that subtly answered her question, which only made Donna grimace.

"Are you okay?" Once again, Hyde nodded.

"The past is the past, in time everything that once hurt you seems like nothing. As long as it's bottled, I'm good," But Hyde only told her what she wanted to hear. He knew that it would always scare him, everything that happened to him would always leave a permanent effect on his relationships with anybody, and he'd probably always freak out a little when someone rose a hand, or touched him without him acknowledging it. But hopefully in the future that wouldn't happen, hopefully in the future he'd get over everything in the past, and be slightly normal.

"Hyde, I hope you know that I'm always gonna be here for you," Donna mumbled, he smiled and patted her shoulder.

"Thanks, man," he replied, voice emotionless. 'Let's wait and see about that...' he thought. But if she broke her promise, if she did end up leaving him behind, then at least he had her now. And right now that was more than enough for him.