Chapter 37: Letters of Regret

The next morning, Elizabeth awoke with a start. Her night with Jack had been everything a woman could want, but today Jack was leaving again for his next assignment. Elizabeth was determined to put a better face on and be more helpful this time around.

Elizabeth slowly disengaged herself from Jack's arms, trying not to wake him. Elizabeth quietly rose from the bed and put on her robe. She started packing up the leftover Christmas food, and folding some new clothing items Hannah had bought Jack for Christmas. Elizabeth retrieved the drawing journal she had gotten for Jack and placed it on top of his things.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked huskily, from the bed. "I'm getting your things ready," Elizabeth replied, hurrying about the room. "You said you wanted to leave first thing this morning," Elizabeth reminded Jack. Jack was laying on the bed face down, his arms askew, one eye open watching Elizabeth. "Did I really say that?" Jack asked mischievously. "Yes, you did," Elizabeth answered. "I'm getting your things together and packing some leftover food for your saddlebag." Jack teased, "So, you want to get rid of me already?" Elizabeth twirled around, her hands on her hips. "Certainly not – I'm just trying to help," Elizabeth replied forcefully.

Jack extended an arm towards Elizabeth. "Come here," he said suggestively. Elizabeth started walking slowly towards Jack. "I thought you needed to go . . . " she asked in bewilderment. Jack leaned up on one arm. "I can leave a little later . . . come back to bed," Jack demanded playfully. Elizabeth eyes went wide, "Now?" Jack grinned and answered, "Why not?" Elizabeth slid under the covers, pleasantly surprised that Jack wanted to spend more time with her before leaving.

Sometime later, Jack was still holding Elizabeth in bed when he whispered in her ear, "I like being married." Elizabeth laughed and said, "I like it too." Jack pulled Elizabeth closer and told her, "I'm going to miss you." Elizabeth said quietly, "No you won't, you shouldn't. It's your purpose right now to be with your fellow Mounties, serving others. That's okay - I understand, and I'm proud of you. You're doing what you love." Jack didn't respond at first. Then he rolled onto his back and said, "That doesn't mean I won't miss you. Anyway, I like being a Mountie, but I'm getting tired of dealing with this bunch of miners. They're dirty, smelly, and uncouth. I assure you, I much rather be here with you."

Elizabeth asked, "How far away is this new mining area? Maybe I could come visit you there?"

Jack guffawed. "It's about 15 miles south of here, half a day's trip in good weather. But I don't want you anywhere near those new miners – they're a bunch of barbarians. Anyway, there's no place for you to stay there – we're all camping out right now until the miners finish building their living quarters. I'm not going to have William Thatcher's daughter camping out in the cold with a bunch of foul-mouthed men." Jack leaned up on his arm and grinned, "I can't imagine that's part of your romantic fantasy!"

Elizabeth squeezed up her face and admitted, "I guess you're right. I'm not much of a camper. Too many insects . . . and coyotes . . . and bears." Jack laughed and jumped out of bed. "Good, because I need you to hold down the fort here in Coal Valley."

Jack started putting on his clothes, as Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed watching him. Jack retrieved his knapsack and walked over to the pile of clothes Elizabeth had set aside for him. "These will be good," Jack said, turning over his knapsack and shaking out the old items on the floor. Jack looked at Elizabeth sheepishly. "Sorry about that – I guess I haven't had a chance to clean things up yet." Elizabeth replied quickly, "That's okay, I'll clean that up later." Elizabeth got out of bed and quickly got dressed so she could see Jack off.

A few minutes later, the pair left the apartment and walked over to the livery where Jack started saddling his horse, Taylor. Elizabeth put the packages of food in the horse's saddlebags and petted Taylor while Jack finished his preparations. After Jack was done, he turned to Elizabeth. "Are you going to be okay?" Jack asked, looking into Elizabeth's eyes intently. "Yes, I'll be fine," Elizabeth replied determinedly. "This week while the children are off from school I'm going to prepare my lesson plans for the new year. And Abigail, Hannah, and I will plan a small New Year's celebration." "That sounds good," Jack said.

Jack took Elizabeth in his arms and gave her a deep kiss. "I meant it when I said I was going to miss you," Jack murmured. "I'll miss you too," Elizabeth replied. Then Jack hoisted himself up on Taylor. As he was about to leave, Elizabeth called out, "Jack, I love you." Elizabeth showed Jack the heart necklace he had given her, which she was displaying prominently on the front of her dress. Jack smiled and replied, "Love you too." Then he trotted off.

Elizabeth watched Jack for a little while then returned to the apartment. Elizabeth was pleased that she and Jack had departed on good terms, but couldn't pretend that she wasn't aching inside from having to watch him leave again.

Elizabeth sighed and knelt down to clean up the mess that Jack had left on the floor from his knapsack. Elizabeth put aside the dirty items and then noticed a bunch of letters and crumpled papers on the floor. Elizabeth saw two bundles of letters that had been neatly tied up with string – one set was from her and the other was from Hannah. Elizabeth smiled and started to untie her set of letters to reread them. Elizabeth glanced at the other items on the floor and picked up an empty envelope. Elizabeth couldn't believe it - the return address was from Rosemary in Chicago! Elizabeth started sorting through the other papers on the floor and found letters from Rosemary, Dottie, and some of the other townspeople. Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief and started reading Rosemary's letter.

"Dear Jack,

I've arrived in Chicago and am currently with the man who I hope will soon become my husband. He and I are looking for acting jobs here and hope to be settled soon.

I've been in touch with Dottie and I feel I should warn you that Elizabeth appears to be cheating on you with Mr. LeRoy behind your back! I was as shocked to hear that news as I'm sure you are – it seems Elizabeth isn't as pure and ladylike as we all thought. And she barely waited for you to leave town!

I'm sorry to have to send you this news, but I thought you should know as soon as possible in order to take appropriate steps. I wish you the best – you deserve better than that.

Love,

Rosemary."

Elizabeth couldn't believe her eyes. She scanned the other letters and saw similar accusations being made about her, though not as harsh as Rosemary's. The letters were all wrinkled, as if Jack had read them and then crumpled them in his fist.

Elizabeth's eyes stung – is this what Jack had thought of her all those weeks while he was gone? No wonder he was so furious Christmas Eve! After getting all these letters about her alleged misdeeds, Elizabeth wondered that Jack had the presence of mind to talk to her first and not just assume the worst.

Elizabeth was livid. "That Rosemary can cause trouble even when she's 500 miles away!" Elizabeth thought to herself bitterly. But Elizabeth knew, deep in her heart, she had only herself to blame.

Right then, Elizabeth heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" she called out, anxiously scooping up the letters and throwing them into a drawer. "It's Hannah - I was just stopping by to see how you're doing."

Elizabeth strode over to the door and opened it up. Hannah walked in with a basket on her arm. "Here are some pastries from Abigail. She opened up the café again this morning. How are you doing, Elizabeth – are you okay?" Elizabeth knew that Hannah was referring to the fact that Jack had left town a little while ago. "Yes, I'm fine. Jack and I parted on good terms this morning. Things are so much better – thank you for asking," Elizabeth replied, still stunned from her discovery of the letters. Hannah continued, "You look a little shaken – would you like to sit down?"

Elizabeth nodded and sat in the nearest chair. Hannah asked, "Is something the matter?" Elizabeth shook her head. "No, it's just I can't stop thinking about everything that's happened the last few weeks." Elizabeth looked up at Hannah shamefacedly. "I can't believe I let myself get tangled up with that horrible man, LeRoy. I thought I could handle it, but now I see I was greatly mistaken. What must people think of me?"

Hannah leaned over and took Elizabeth's hand. "It doesn't matter what other people think. Jack has forgiven you, hasn't he?"

Elizabeth replied, "I believe so, for the most part. I believe God will forgive me too – he knows my intentions were good. I thought I was helping Jack. My problem is whether I'll ever be able to forgive myself." Elizabeth looked down at the floor despondently.

Hannah put her arm around Elizabeth and said, "In time, my dear. Give it time." Elizabeth leaned her head on Hannah and wept softly.