A/N: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a BL manga! No, it's a update! *Shot*

No, but in all seriousness, thanks for being so patient with me and this story. I know it's hit a bit of a dead spot, but a lot of this has to be covered before we get back into the swing of things. There's two/three more chapters I believe before we hit the court scenes again, but I promise this isn't the end of it. You are all some really awesome people, and I really applaud you all, those who review to those who sit quietly and read without reviewing (I know, because I'm one of those people), for reading this crappy fanfic. You're such incredible people, and if anyone tells you otherwise, you tell them there's somebody out there who stuck Mikasa, Eren and Armin together to make incest babies. Okay? Okay. :3

-Misty

P.S. Lady Mari chan had waaaaaaaaaay too much fun proofing this chapter. :3

Lost Cause

It's his job. Being in this special operation requires apathy, a cold heart, and dead eyes, making him just the man to do it. Of course this doesn't mean he likes it. However, when he runs into three young teens in the worst possible situation a life could lead, it turns out that he isn't as heartless as he once thought he was. Modern day AU: Officer Levi, Prostitute Eren. (Lots of trigger warnings. You're going to hate me so much for this fanfic.)

Rated M for adult themes, sexual content, adult language, violence and gore, child abuse, rape, drug abuse, oh so much more that I can't even list.

Main pairing: Riren. Other pairings with side pairings.

Anime: Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack on Titan)

Chapter 35: Codependency

He'd gotten so used to the havoc that this quiet was unsettling.

Eren had only been around for a week and a half. A week and a half was not a lot of time, but time didn't add up to how that time was spent, and it was spent properly.

They'd spent time together, cooked, cleaned, and slept together. It was like he took care of his own kid in a way, except that kid was eighteen and had numerous problems that had to be dealt with. That meant that he constantly had his eyes on him, held him, and helped him through those difficult moments.

Two months, however, without the kid around had left a large gap in his life. The quietness made him uneasy, the sound of snow outside was easy to hear without the chatter of another person. It was always clean now. There wasn't any extra laundry to be done, and laundry was done on Sunday's, just as how it had always been.

He cooked for himself and only himself, and there were left overs again. Before, there weren't any. Eren always ate them, because he needed it. Now, anything extra would be used for lunch the next day while he worked, and that was it.

He didn't think he'd have problems with Eren gone. He didn't think not having someone to talk to would make him feel this lonely, but had it always been like that? Was he this lonely before Eren even got there?

At first it was. After leaving Hanji and being on his own, it wasn't easy. He had always been with someone, whether it was Farlan and Isabel, his roommate in the hospital, or Hanji. It wasn't easy getting used to the quiet, but he figured out how. He could sleep without interruptions, walk around his house in only his underwear if he felt it necessary (which he didn't, but that wasn't the point), eat whatever he wanted and make a mess to clean it up later without someone nagging at him. It was easier being alone.

As he thought about it now though, he realized he was kidding himself.

No, it wasn't easier being alone. He'd just gotten used to it. Loneliness wasn't easy, but he found ways to distract himself in order to ignore it and handle himself without losing his mind.

He'd been reminded of how nice it was not to be alone when Eren lived with him. It was nice being with someone else, to cook and clean for them despite his arguments. To help put them to bed or simply to talk to them.

Sometimes he forgot what his own voice sounded like now.

It was nice being needed.

Snow. That was all it had been for a week. The streets were covered, and the older man applauded any soul that dared challenged the drive to him.

Such as Hanji.

The woman had called him earlier, saying she needed to speak with him. She said it couldn't be done over the phone, however, with the kids at home. They couldn't be nearby to eavesdrop. So whatever it was that needed to be talked about was something very important.

What was this about? Was Mikasa hurting herself again? We're Eren's nightmares getting worse? Was Armin sick again?

The blonde had been getting very sick with the winter, constantly in a bed, medicine going through his body and sleep clinging to his every waking moment.

Maybe it was getting worse. Maybe it was progressing into something far worse than simple colds or allergies.

No, that couldn't have been it. Hanji wouldn't have hesitated to talk about it over the phone. She would have just told him what was going on.

What was it Hanji needed to talk about that couldn't involve them hearing about it then?

His thoughts were cut short when the doorbell suddenly rang through the apartment. The older man got off the couch and went to his front door to answer it, finding a bundled up Hanji standing behind it.

"Cold outside?" Levi asked before stepping back to allow her in.

"Extremely so! I wouldn't be surprised if this was the beginning of Armageddon with all of that snow out there..." She expressed while undoing her jacket.

"How poetic..." The older man uttered. "So what's so important that you couldn't tell me over the phone and fought a two foot snow drift to tell me in person?"

The way Hanji's expression deepened into a look of concern etched with hesitancy was a little unsettling to say the least. No, that was a lie. It was very unsettling.

"Let's go sit." She said before hanging her coat. Levi tilted his head, his lips pulling into a tight frown before he walked ahead.

He sat on the couch, and soon enough Hanji sat in the recliner nearby. He watched her carefully, waiting, but the woman futzed with the bag around her shoulder, seemingly stalling.

"Hanji," He spoke her name. "What's going on with the kids?"

"They're okay. No one is any danger, no one is sick or dying. Everyone is okay."

"So then why can't you talk around them?" He questioned with a frown.

"Because it has to do with Eren..." Hanji reached into her hand before pulling out a golden colored notebook.

"Is he okay? He's not hurt, right?"

"No, but I'm worried for his mental health right now."

"Mental health?" For whatever reason, Levi didn't appreciate the way she said that. "What's wrong with his mental health?"

Hanji set the notebook on its binding down in her lap, emphasizing the importance to it and what it signified.

"Truthfully, Eren doesn't know I have this with me. He still thinks it's at home where he left it. What I'm doing is going against his trust in me. It's going against patient confidentiality even. I could lose my job for this, so what you're about to read stays between us." Hanji warned him before handing over the notebook to the officer.

Levi stared at her wearily for a moment longer before taking it gingerly.

"If you could lose your job over this, then why are you showing it to me?"

"Because of what's inside it."

"What's in it?" He asked. "His nightmares, right?"

"Well, it was a dream. I really think you need to read his latest entry though. It's important."

"Hanji-"

"Just read it, and you'll see what I mean." The woman assured him.

Levi stared at her, eyes narrowing in irritation before he flipped open the notebook. He pulled the pages back to the last one before bringing it to where he saw the most recent date written on the pages, followed by the words written down in barely legible handwriting.

"I have feelings for Captain Levi..."

Levi's eyes lifted from the book in a flicker of surprise, staring at the woman in front of him with concern. She nodded her head, a sure sign that it was okay to keep reading, but did he really want to?

He figured there was no turning back now, and with that in mind, Levi looked down to continue reading.

"I can't deny it anymore. Damn it, I just can't. I've tried, but the more I deny it, the worse it gets, and the more I deny it, the more I lose my mind.

I really like him. More than I'm supposed to. I look back on when we first met, how much I despised him. Why can't I just feel like that anymore? I hate feeling this way about him. I'm supposed to love Armin, aren't I? So why is it I like him too? That's not how that works, right?

I've tried looking for reasons to hate him. I've tried and I've failed. All that he and the station has done has ever been for us. I see that, and it makes it harder to hate him. Taking me in, feeding me, letting me sleep by his side on nights I couldn't be alone... Letting me talk to him, teaching me what a real life looks like. It was only the basis of it, but it was enough to open my eyes and get my family back.

It's wrong. I know it is, and now I'm having dreams about him. Last night I dreamt of him embracing me, of making love to me. The way he said my name was reminiscent of the night we were together. The way his eyes looked at me, his breath on my skin. The way he held me. It makes me think back to that time and my body aches for him again.

This isn't why you like a person, but I can't get him out of my mind. I can't stop thinking about him, and I've tried. I've tried distracting myself, but whenever I get a quiet moment, or even when it's not so quiet, I think of him. I think of his eyes, his voice, his touch, whether holding me or reassuring me. I think about his lips when he talked or that night between us...

I miss the warm spot in the bed, even when Armin and Mikasa lay right next to me. I miss the sound of his voice when he soothed me in my moments of panic. I miss how he holds me with everything, his arms, hands, and heart. I miss the sound of his heart under my ear...

I miss him. I miss him so much."

There was more written down, but Levi felt as if it were necessary to stop reading. He sat back, hands coming up to rest on his knees as he sighed. His heart felt heavy, mind suddenly plagued by the words written in front of him.

"What should I do?"

"I believe it's in your best interest to decide for yourself." Hanji told him.

"That doesn't solve this problem." Levi grumbled irritably while motioning to the pages in the notebook.

"No, it doesn't, but you aren't who I'm taking care of. It's Eren, and it's Eren I give advice to if he comes to me for it."

"And what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't ask for your help?"

"He might not, but he might just as much. With thoughts like these, I don't doubt Eren won't come to me soon to fix them. I don't doubt that Eren has feelings for you. I think he really does care for you the way he says, but I don't think that his feelings are built up on a healthy foundation."

"What do you mean?"

"Your relationship wasn't built up on months of trust and love. Your relationship was built up within a week out of codependency and suffering. He grew so attached to you that he feels like he can't go on without you, giving him a false sense of love. Like I said, I don't doubt he doesn't care for you. After all, you became a figure he can trust and go to when he needs someone. He trusts you, but the feelings he's developed for you aren't healthy."

"So what do I do? How do I fix this so I don't make him sick?"

"The separation is good. We don't know how long it'll be until we go to court, but until then, he needs to grow. Eren needs to start separating himself from his family and grow as a person."

"You want to take Mikasa and Armin away from him?"

"No, no. They don't have anything to do with that. He needs to grow on his own. He has his family, but he needs to start realizing that the only one who can make things happen is himself. This is where we need to stop treating him like a child and treat him like an adult."

"Shouldn't we help him though? He's still just a kid."

"Of course. I won't let him fall. I'm not saying he needs a job and home on his own, but his emotional state is failing, because he believes he can't do anything without you. He feels useless without someone else helping him through it, so this is where we need to push him into realizing all it takes is him."

"And what if that doesn't work?" Levi asked the woman morbidly. "What if doing that only makes it worse? What if this backfires on us?"

All he got in response was a shake of her head.

"We can only hope it doesn't."

"The fuck does that mean, Hanji?" Levi questioned abruptly and stood up, his hands gripping the binding of the notebook to the point it could snap. "What happens if it doesn't work?"

"We might have to look into other measures then."

"Other measures? Like what, sending him to Maria's?"

He had meant it as a rhetorical question. He hadn't really expected to see the woman nod her head in positive response.

"He might need it…"

"Hanji-!"

"He might need more help than either you or I can provide him, Levi." She spoke over him. "What he may need is a more watchful eye over him and someone at his side every waking moment. I'm doing the best that I can, but I am only one person."

"Fuck…" Levi cursed under his breath.

He had never meant for this to happen. He never meant for any of this to happen. Eren wasn't supposed to care for him like this, but it was his fault after all. He should have seen the signs, should have seen the way the brunette grew towards him. He should have never let Eren sleep with him, because that only deepened the connection. He knew that. Of course he knew that. He should have known better though, and he didn't.

"… I can't let that happen." Levi finally said after what felt like an awkward eternity of silence.

"What can you do that hasn't already been done, Levi?" The woman asked pensively. "You can't have contact with him, and you know anything more could hurt him."

"I can't let him get like this." Levi growled.

"You already have." Hanji continued, head tilting to the side, as if she had just realized something. Guessing by the mixed look of emotions on her face, she must have realized something important. "Levi, you don't have feelings for him, do you?" Hanji asked, her gaze narrowing at him in a mix of intimidation for answers and concern.

Levi stepped back, but only so far. With the couch behind him, he could only move an inch before the back of his leg bumped into it, leaving him with nowhere to run. His expression relaxed, but out of shock or realization, he couldn't be sure anymore. He'd never stopped to think about something as absurd as that, such a suggestion leaving him utterly flabbergasted, but was it true?

No, that couldn't be true. He didn't have feelings for Eren. Not even close. He was a child to him, someone who needed help, a shoulder to cry on, someone to go to when he was in pain. That was what he was, nothing more, nothing less.

… Right?

"I remember this man." Hanji stated as she stood up. Levi tried staring the woman down in disgust, but he felt himself weakening at the hardened glare of her brown eyes. Truthfully, when Hanji was mad, she was a frightening woman. "This was the man that lived with me six years ago. That brash, irresponsible man who tried on many occasions to sneak out to the hospital."

"What the fuck is your point?" The older man hissed.

"I never thought I'd see him again. This man who can't get it together for five minutes to look in front of him and focus on what's important." She bit out.

"I don't have a problem with focus! I know what's important, and wha-"

"What's important is Eren!" Hanji shouted over him. "I have to worry for his wellbeing, his safety! I have to make sure he doesn't turn around and hurt himself again!"

In retaliation, the woman grabbed the notebook from his hands and shoved it back into her bag. She turned to leave, as if this were the last of the conversation, but stopped short of the door.

Levi waited, mind and emotions seething as his fingers pressed deep into his palms, nails scrapping away at the surface of his skin. As Hanji looked over her shoulder, a calmer demeanor present, it seemed to help sizzle some of the anger from his body. Only some though.

"… Honestly, I don't have a problem with it." She said, voice softer and more relaxed.

"What do you mean?" He asked her.

"If you care for him more than what most of us are seeing… Then I don't have a problem with it." Hanji turned her body towards him, eyes still staring at him in an intimidating manner. "Whatever makes you happy, but my focus is Eren. Eren's health is of my priority, so I can't allow him to fall because of your incompetence."

"And what does that mean?" The older man asked while noting the worry in his tone.

Instead of a verbal answer, Hanji's eyes closed. Her body turned away once more, her head shaking, and from where she stood, Levi thought he could hear her utter words, but he wasn't sure if he heard her right.

"I'm sorry…"

A/N: Whoops. I did more things. More things to come.