They couldn't tell how long they stood there, Vanitas clinging to the younger boy as tears streamed down his face, but they eventually pulled apart and returned to the bed. It took Vanitas a few more seconds before he calmed down, holding his hands together and sniffling, and stared down to the floor without saying another word. Ventus sat beside him and let him lean on him while his breathing slowed down.

"Isn't… Isn't there anyone else you can live with?"

"No. I don't really have any contact with my father's family. And my mother, she… She had another son. She has her own family to worry about"

Ventus lowered his gaze and Vanitas sighed, pulling away. His head was pounding and he couldn't help but feel ashamed for crying like this, before Ventus nonetheless! He ran his fingers through his dark strands unsure of what to do when Ventus held his burned hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it as gently as he could.

"You said… You're afraid of sleeping? Vani, did he-" Ventus wanted to stop asking questions but he was so anxious to do something that he couldn't help himself. Vanitas turned his gaze away.

"He hurt me before. When I was sleeping, he's done it a few times. It's been a while now, years even, but I don't trust his mood"

Ventus swallowed and held his own tears back. He felt torn and distressed for not being able to help him sooner. Looking at him now it was obvious how tired, how exhausted Vanitas was, and now that everything made sense he just wished none of that was real.

Once Vanitas finally looked to him again Ventus put his arms around him and slowly pulled him so both lay on the bed, a deep silence between them. Ventus touched his face, caressing his cheeks with his thumb.

"You know… You don't have to be afraid when you're here. No one's gonna bother you if you sleep and… And I'll be right beside you so I'll take care of you" Ventus said and it was Vanitas' turn to hold back more tears. What had he done to deserve someone like Ventus? What had he…

"I can sleep Ven. It just… Takes a while. You shouldn't worry that much"

"No, I mean it. You… You can rest as much as you need. Even if takes a while, I'll stay with you. And I'll be here when you wake up too".

"Ven..."

Ventus smiled and continued to caress his cheek before snuggling closer to him, sharing not only his warmth but also his calm with the raven haired boy. Vanitas let him and as bad as he felt for letting Ventus know just how weak he was he liked the closeness and the affection, allowing himself to enjoy the silence. Besides Ventus' low breathing any other sound was inaudible and he managed to relax in a matter of minutes. Feeling the younger boy closing his fingers on his shirt, Vanitas closed his eyes with no expectations and not too long after gave in to his exhaustion.

The day would soon turn into night and it was around sunset that Vanitas opened his eyes unsure of where he was. He felt uneasy when he didn't recognize his room until he saw Ventus sleeping and holding onto him and remembered where he was.

Ventus was so cute. He had seen him sleeping before when they went to Disney Town and even on their small picnic in his yard, but right now he was actually deep asleep. It felt warm and good to have him this close, so Vanitas tried his best not to move and wake him up. Minutes later however he needed to go to the bathroom and so he had to.

"Hey..." He booped the boy's nose. Ventus moved a little but continued to sleep until Vanitas called for his name and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Hmm… Hm?" The blond lifted his head to stare to the yellow eyes that watched him and that he was so fond of "Hi, Vani"

Vanitas returned Ventus' smile and let him sit and stretch before leaving the bed. The boy rubbed his eyes and turned to him.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Never better" Vanitas said and ruffled Ventus' hair "What a mess"

"I know, right? My hair always looks like this after I sleep. But I'm used to it" He added with a shrug and Vanitas shook his head. He couldn't say much though, his hair was also pretty wild.

After he went to the bathroom Vanitas came back to find the bed already made and Chirithy sitting on the pillow. Ventus hugged him.

"You're so warm!" He said, hiding his face on his chest.

"Yeah, well, there was a Ventus on me. How could I not be warm after that?"

They laughed, both still sleepy, and finally went downstairs. Roxas was reading a book on the living room and their parents had gone to the supermarket. They greeted each other and Ventus was about to ask Vanitas if he'd like to stay for dinner when he said it was time to leave.

Only then Ventus thought about what he now knew and felt his stomach churn.

"A… Are you sure? Why don't you stay a while longer?" He asked, his worry not going unnoticed by Roxas. Vanitas answered as if nothing had happened.

"I do want to stay but it's pretty late. I can come back tomorrow if you'd like?"

Ventus nodded slowly and just watched while Vanitas said goodbye to Roxas with a calm expression on his face. How many times had he put on that face while he crumbled on the inside?

Just like every time, once they were outside the boys sat on the sidewalk and stood together for a few more minutes. Ventus swallowed dry.

"Vani… Can you promise me something?"

"... What?"

Ventus took a deep breath "If something happens… And by something I mean anything… You'll tell me right away. Maybe I can't help you immediately but I... You don't have to go through it all alone. Okay?"

Vanitas didn't take his eyes off the street, too many things going through his mind at the moment, and after what felt like ages he turned to the boy and held both of his hands.

"Only if you promise something as well" Ventus frowned but then pressed his lips together. He knew what Vanitas was going to ask "You won't talk about this to anyone. Not our friends, not even with your parents or… Or you brother. No one"

"Vanitas..."

"Just for now" He continued but his voice was filled with hurt and hesitation "Ven, I know you want to help me but… Try to understand. You're the one I trust the most in this world but I'm still not comfortable with you knowing about this"

The boy lowered his gaze. He didn't know what to do; there was no way he could help him by himself, especially because he denied needing help in the first place. He could support him, he could give him advices, but without actually taking action nothing would change and he couldn't allow that to happen!

"I trust you Ventus, and I'm… I'm grateful. But this… This is hard for me. When the time comes, I'll do something about it but now-"

"And when will this time come?"

"In two months. When I turn 18" He replied, almost begging Ventus to forgive him for giving such an unsatisfactory answer "Maybe even before, I don't know, but not now"

The night already hovered over them and the air was getting colder by the minute. Ventus let go of his hand and Vanitas feared that he might had angered the boy, but Ventus wasn't angry. He was worried. He didn't want him to leave.

"Just… For now. Until we decide on what to do" Ventus said without looking to him.

"That's right. Until… We decide on what to do"

There was an awkward sensation in the air. Vanitas turned to the street again, staring into nothingness and suffocated by the thoughts that started to roam in his mind, anxiety taking over him. Ventus didn't say anything, unaware of the sensation that doing this was causing and only when Vanitas spoke was that he noticed.

"Listen, I'll… I'll understand"

"Understand…?" Ventus looked to him.

"If… If you want to stay away from me. I know this isn't your problem and it's unfair for you to have to deal with this when it's my business"

"W… What do you mean, what are you talking about?"

"You wouldn't be the first one to leave me after all. Really, it's… It's okay if you do. I will understand. You don't have to deal with this burden"

When Ventus saw him for the first time at school he hadn't seen any of that. He hadn't seen what was behind that bored and irritated look Vanitas gave to him, he didn't feel the discomfort in any word he muttered back then. Back to when they first met, he didn't notice how he was, covered by doubt and fear.

"Vani, I'm not leaving you because of this nor anything! I would never leave you alone!"

Vanitas laughed unwillingly and Ventus held his face in his hands, making him look at him "I don't know what happened or… Or who left you behind before, but I'm not doing that. No matter what happens, I'll always be right here. And I… I want to make you happy, Vani!"

"... So you'll promise me what I asked you to?" Vanitas asked, his face burning with shame. Ventus was offering his support to him and yet all he could ask was if he could make that promise?

"… Okay. I promise. But only for now and when we know what to do we'll talk to someone who can help!"

"Right" Vanitas nodded thankful. The two stood up and finally said their goodbyes, Ventus taking longer to let go of him. He wanted to keep him safe but there was no way he could do that now and that was the worst part.

Seeing Vanitas walk farther and farther away to the end of the street all he could think of was how downcast he looked and how sad he sounded, and with each thought Ventus felt his nervousness and worry grow in his heart. Would Vanitas be in trouble for getting home late? Would his father force him into doing something? How did he manage to keep that to himself his entire life?

As soon as he entered his home Ventus walked straight to the stairs. The moment he put his foot on the first step however Roxas called him.

"Brother?"

"Yeah, Rox?"

"Is everything alright? You sounded pretty… Worried" He paused "Did something happen?"

Ventus' fingers closed around the handrail and he bit his lower lip, glad Roxas couldn't see his face "It's… Complicated. There's something Vanitas is hiding from me and… I don't know what to do about it"

He heard Roxas close his book "Didn't he tell you anything though? Haven't got a clue?"

"... No. But I'll keep on trying. He just… He looks so tired, doesn't he?"

"He does… But well, he likes you. He's bound to tell you I guess. And, brother?"

"Yeah?"

"If you need help with that, just let us know. Alright? He's, uh… Part of the family now. No need to deal with it alone"

Ventus smiled to himself. Despite everything that had happened and how much Roxas seemed to dislike Vanitas in the beginning, he sounded serious. He could be trusted to know about Vanitas' problems. Ventus just wished he could tell him about it.

"Thank you, brother"

A really bad feeling settled itself deep down in his stomach.

Vanitas walked straight to his bedroom, ignoring whether his father was home or not. He hadn't seen him there but even if he did Vanitas really didn't feel like talking to him. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. He picked his pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and left again, litting one as he walked around his neighborhood, breathing in the drug, breathing out whatever good air he still had left. He walked aimlessly, thinking, thinking, smoking and coughing as his heart raced.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did the tell Ventus about it? Why? There was no guarantee that he wouldn't tell anyone else about it and he couldn't really blame him for it. And even if he didn't tell anyone he would obviously ask more and more as time went by, out of worry of course but the reason didn't really matter. Vanitas felt exposed, as if he was naked for everyone to see his damn scars and the blood of his father that would always run through his veins.

His heart was racing, pounding against his chest, his breathing already harsh and sweat covering his skin. Shaking, grumbling to himself, why did you tell him?

He sat on a bench a few squares away from home and stood there, his hand naturally moving to that one wound on his back, nails scratching on his skin. Scratch, scratch, scratch. Second cigarette of the night, the scratching stopped and he coughed, trying to get a hold of himself. Nails eager to dig into it again, he bit his tongue to remind himself of the pain. Stop. He could hear his heart beating on his skull, it was frightening but he had already felt that before, his damn never ending anxiety holding onto him like the monster that it was.

Fourth cigarette. He hid his face in his hands, breathing. In and out. In and out. His throat went dry and his eyes welled but he held it all in. He was used to it. He was-

Damnit, what if Ventus tells someone?

Vanitas coughed again. Ventus wasn't the only one who knew, yeah. Chris also knew, just like Robert, and nothing had happened until now. Ephemera…Who cared about him, he probably hadn't even read his letter anyway, and that was years ago. Now Ventus…

He didn't know how long he stood there on that bench, alone in the dark and the cold of the night. He didn't know how long he thought he was about to die because his breathing just wouldn't slow down and his head felt as if about to explode. He didn't know but he knew he was tired of feeling like that, tired of being so afraid and now he had just made it all worse!

Standing up, staggering back to his home, Vanitas went inside and into the shower, only then cleaning the blood from his nails and his back. He leaned against the wall, let the water wash away his fears uselessly, and finally went to his bedroom again. Vanitas locked the door and picked his cellphone to turn it off when he saw a new message. He read it and, unable to respond, lay on his bed with both hands on his head.

Don't be afraid, okay? We'll figure this out, together!

I will never leave you

It was 6AM. There was almost no one on the street that day, except for those who had to work early. Vanitas enjoyed the empty streets and the fact that there as no one to bother him at this hour of the day.

He lifted the cup of coffee to his lips, taking a glance to his hand. It was healing fast now but the reminder of how it happened didn't leave his mind nor it would for a long time. Shaking his head, the boy put another cigarette in his mouth again, aware that he had smoked more than usual yesterday but too tired to care at the moment. He wanted to stop but right now he would probably go mad if he didn't have it to calm down his nerves for a bit.

One hour later Vanitas finally went inside again. He got himself another cup of coffee and returned to his bedroom, thinking about what to do despite the headache that bothered him.

There was a lump in his throat however as he checked his phone. He still hadn't replied to Ventus' message and he knew he wouldn't. It just… Felt like a lie to him. He knew he shouldn't doubt Ven, and deep inside he didn't, but for how long would he endure? Those problems weren't his to care about, they were Vanitas' only and yet it was obvious that he would be worried all the time.

Ventus was too good for him. For his own peace of mind, perhaps it would be best if he left him.

However the mere thought of Ventus leaving him made him feel sick. Vanitas put a hand on his head. Since when had he become so dependent?

His cell phone rang. Even before checking he knew it was Ventus and confirmed it seconds later. Staring down to the screen, Vanitas closed his eyes. He wanted to tell him everything. To let him know every little detail of why his mind was so fucked up. Of why he felt so broken all the time. Of why he thought and felt like he deserved everything that happened to him. But those were his secrets, he couldn't and wouldn't-

"Good morning"

"Good morning, Vani!" Ventus sounded cheerful as ever. Why did he expect him to sound different? "Are you okay? Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Had a good night's sleep. You?"

"Me too! I dreamed we were back in Disney Town and my Chirithy was talking!"

"A talking stuffed cat. Sounds like a dream alright"

Ventus chuckled "Hey, so, Axel is coming here today for lunch. There won't be anything special really but I thought maybe you'd like to come?"

Vanitas bit back a sigh. He actually didn't feel like going out but he really wanted to see Ven. Or maybe he didn't. He was still ashamed, he wouldn't deny that, but he couldn't simply disappear like he wanted to.

"Uh, yeah, sure. At what time?"

"Lunch will be around 12 but you can come earlier if you want. Axel will be here at 10 so what's best for you really"

"Alright then. I'll be there"

"Really? Sweet! I'll be waiting then"

Vanitas smiled softly. Ventus always sounded so happy to see him… Even when he'd brought all those worries into his calm and peaceful life. It was unfair.

"Okay. See you, Ven"

"See ya!"

Vanitas stared down to the cellphone for a while longer before leaving his room and getting himself something to eat. Time seemed to be stuck, the clock's arms ticking at the speed of a slug. Vanitas stared to nothing in particular for long minutes, listening to his father come and go through the hall without saying a word, then choosing something for him to wear and laying on his bed until it was time to leave.

The thoughts remained. How he shouldn't have said anything, how Ventus would worry more than he should, how he regretted bringing more problems into the boy's mind. Still, he found it impossible not to smile when he saw the blond at the entrance of his home, waving and smiling to him. Had he waited all this time?

"Hey-"

"Hello!" Ventus hugged him tight.

"Hello" Vanitas gave the blond a caring pat on his back to what Ventus tilted his head "What?"

"Nothing" He said before standing on his tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. Vanitas blinked a few times in confusion. He had been so deep in his own thoughts that it had completely escaped him how sweet Ventus' kisses were. And how much he liked them.

"How's the burn?" The boy asked, holding his hand carefully and looking to it. Vanitas ignored him and this time cupped his head in his hands, giving him a gentle and deep kiss.

"It's better" He said once they pulled apart and Ventus chuckled. That was when the door opened and they found themselves before Axel, who wore a goofy smile.

"Hey there! Long time no see, Vanitas!"

Blushing more than Axel thought they would, Ventus and Vanitas went inside with him and joined the others at the living room. Greeting everyone, Vanitas sat next to Ventus while listening to everyone talk but he didn't pay too much attention to their words.

Instead, he was checking whether they were looking to him or not. Wondering if someone else knew about it.

The realization of what he was doing made him feel worse than before. Still, there was someone looking at him and that was the one who reached for his hand and now kissed it with care, his bright blue eyes shining before him. Vanitas smiled, thankful, and turned to the others once more. It was then that Axel cleared his throat and spoke.

"So… I have some good news. My graduation ceremony will be happening in two weeks, 7PM at Radiant Garden! I would be really happy if everyone could go so… You're all invited!"

Except for Roxas who already knew about that, everyone was surprised but they all smiled for him. After what felt like a never ending battle with college it was finally over! And of course he wanted to celebrate with those who were important to him!

"That's amazing! Of course we're going!" The twins' father said, excited. Their mother shared his excitement.

"Thank you! And I… You know, I really wanted everyone to go. Our friends from school?" He looked to the teenagers "All of them were so nice with me when I was there! And you're all really special to me. I wanted to take everyone but for that I'd need your help"

"What can we do?" The woman asked.

"I thought I could come here by car so I could take four people with me. But the rest of them would have to go with you . If that's not a problem of course. You're like my family! And I really want you to meet my parents too"

"Vani, Xion and I could go on our car. Then you, Rox, Sora, Riku and Ienzo am go on yours. It's perfect" Ventus said and looked to his parents, hoping they would agree with that.

"Perfect indeed, Ven! Just let all your friends know about it and it's settled then" Their father said and Axel smiled wide, thanking them immensely before they changed the subject and went to the kitchen for lunch. Before Ventus could get up however Vanitas tightened his fingers around his hand, asking him to wait.

"What is it?"

"Do you think we'll come back late from the ceremony?" Vanitas asked serious and Ventus frowned.

"I… Don't know. You think there would be a problem with that?"

"I'd have to at least let my father know about it. Just to make sure" Ventus crossed his arms.

"Hmm… I think that, yeah, we'll get home pretty late. But… Do you think… Do you think you could sleep here? We have the guests room, you could sleep there so you wouldn't need to worry about the time and…"

Vanitas stared to Ventus without saying a word for a few seconds. The boy imagined he had gone too far knowing Vanitas was still uncomfortable but the problem wasn't that; Vanitas was just thinking on how to ask that to Xehanort.

"Don't you… Don't you think it would be a problem for me to sleep here? Would your parents be alright with that?"

"Sure! I just gotta ask them, I mean, Axel slept here before as well so I see no problem with that!"

Vanitas chuckled "Of course. Yeah, ask them about it first. Then I'll ask mine"

"'Kay!"

Ventus put an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek, giggling when Vanitas kissed his forehead. Both got up at last and went to the kitchen for lunch, but all Vanitas could think about was what to wear for Axel's graduation. He didn't have any formal wear and that was a formal occasion that's for sure. Also, if he did sleep at Ven's it would also be the first time he'd sleep away from home, which was a little scary to some extend. He would also need to pick some nice clothing to bring with him.

Not that any of that would matter if Xehanort didn't let him go.