Day after
He remembers the day after his mother died. There were so many people there.
Dean was only four, but he remembers. He remembers sitting on a couch so big he felt like a baby on it. He remembers wearing a jacket and a tie and that they itched, but he didn't complain. Who would he complain to? Mom was the one that usually cared about his clothes and Dad said she wouldn't be coming back.
He remembers Dad sitting on the other corner of the room, so far away. He had stubble on his face and his eyes were red and swollen and Dean had to look away.
He remembers Sammy being held by a lot of women he didn't know. Women that hugged Dean and cried on his shoulder and told him everything would be alright. Dean remembers wanting to be around Sammy, but whenever he would ask, the women would cry and he would be hugged and he didn't want people crushing him anymore. So he sat on the couch and waited, one eye on his father, one eye on his brother. His mother wasn't going to come back and all this people were apparently never going to leave.
Dean stayed silent and waited for it all to be over.
The day after his father dies, Sam wakes him up in the middle of the night. Their insurance is about to crap out. They need to get the hell away and now.
He silently obeys his brother's commands on the way out of the hospital and its only when he reaches the car that he remembers. He remembers because there's a body on the back seat, covered in white sheets.
Sam stole his father's corpse and they need to get the hell away and now.
Sam drives because Dean can't. He can't look at the rearview mirror, he can't drive, he can't breath.
Sam drives for hours until they reach some abandoned field. His brother walks out by himself. Dean doesn't move and Sam doesn't ask him to.
Dean stays rigid on his seat as Sam takes the body and the salt and prepares the pyre. Dean doesn't help and Sam doesn't ask him to.
When his job is done, Sam walks to the passenger door and opens it. Dean walks out in silence.
Sam lights the fire and they stand side by side.
Sam has stubble on his face and his eyes are red and swollen and he looks so much like dad 23 years before, Dean can't look at him.
He can't look anywhere, because there's nobody there. A lifetime of saving people and killing evil things and John Winchester burns away in an empty field.
Its the day after his father died . There's nobody there.
Dean stays silent and waits for it all to be over.