Chapter 37: Forbidden Literature
Malin crept up nervously to the book where is sat at the side of the throne. The throne room was deserted, and she really wanted to have a look at Ori's book after the king had so readily dismissed it and turned to other matters. She hadn't found the time to interview Balin or Dwalin regarding the events that had transpired surrounding the Quest at all, and it irked her greatly. Her mind roved over the possibilities endlessly and it nearly drew her insane. Every spare thought she had was going over the details she had picked up - it kept her mind from roving over details concerning her past, at any rate.
Every day at court she eyed the tome, laid by the side of the throne untouched for two weeks now. Ori was fretting and Dori looked ready to ask some questions. But the Company knew what a sorry affair it had been - it touched a raw nerve for every one of them, especially those who knew the secrets the book did not tell.
Balin did tell me can I borrow it eventually. Malin tried to ease her uneasy conscience and she stealthily and quietly reached for the book and opened it.
Marvelling at the beautiful worked cover and the illustrations inside, she reverently turned the pages and began reading.
Just a little, she had told herself, I shouldn't even be here.
But it was so fascinating. For an hour Malin read the story - "devoured" would be a better word. She dared not move it an inch, and it was rather uncomfortable reading it at that angle, so she knelt by the throne and read in the shadows.
"What do you think you're doing!" Dwalin growled.
Malin started - Dwalin had just come around the throne to pick clear the way for Thorin and the rest of the court. His arms were crossed. Malin dropped the book in haste and reached to prevent it from slipping and falling off the stone steps.
"Who do you think you are, sister?"
"I... I just wanted to see the book," Malin protested,
Dwalin quickly pushed her into the shadows behind the throne and whispered,
"Out, now!"
Malin scurried away, thankfully unseen, her heart pounding with dread. Oh, how could she have angered her brother so?
Two hours later,
"You are a child!" moaned Dwalin, "Touching the king's things... sitting on the throne.. have you no respect? There are things you should not know, questions you should not ask!"
There was silence.
"What do you think of Ori's writing?" Balin put his arm around her and patted her back, "I really want to see it too, but we must wait, my dear."
"I didn't know," Malin began, "I never knew our history, about our kings, about Erebor."
"What do you think of it?"
"The greater part of the beginning concerning Thorin, our king, and his fathers. It struck me that despite the circumstances we have to endure as dwarves, it is not our circumstances but our actions - how we overcome hardship - that makes us who we are as a people."
Dwalin snorted - he was still angry with Malin.
Balin nodded, "Aye. That is true, lass. The decisions we made... what we went through..."
Tears came to Balin's eyes as he thought on the struggles they faced to bring them to where they were... almost to many to bear.
"I was with Thrain on his last quest, when he disappeared," Balin shuddered, and then said in a warm voice, "Now finish your cocoa, Malin, and go to bed. It'll be a long day tomorrow."
He wrapped a shawl around Malin and sent her to her rooms. When he returned, Dwalin was sharpening his weapons by the fire.
"Brother," said Balin.
Dwalin looked up, sadness in his eyes.
"We worry about Thorin, but there's only so much we can do" Balin chided him gently, "There are some battles that cannot be won by strength of arms."
"I don't know..." sighed Dwalin, "He..."
"The choices he made, the heroics deeds, the hardships he overcome," reminded Balin, "These make him who he is... and consequently unable... to function or to live a normal, peaceful life. He reclaimed Erebor, but it wasn't for himself."
"Do you think the end is nigh?" Dwalin looked up, desperation in his eyes.
"It would be a bitter loss it is was," said Balin, "But no. I see years left in him left, if only we can help him find a reason to live on."
"How?"
"In hole in the ground..." began Balin, "I've thought about it long and hard. I think we should go to the Shire. I shall be going, and I shall make Thorin come with me... give the princes some breathing room. "