Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
POSTED: 4/20/2012
A/N: Anatomically, the arm is the area from your shoulder to the elbow. The forearm extends from the elbow to the hand.
It Comes in Many Forms
Sakura's days of recovery blurred together through her stint in the hospital. She was assured she could begin walking in another day or two, but the girl was in no hurry to escape the sanctum of those white walls. She was creeping into an antisocial funk since the attack, she could feel it. There was no inclination to entertain any visitors apart from her own teammates, which suited their preferences just fine. There was hardly a waking moment that she found herself without them, her days filled with Naruto's flamboyant recountings of his training or the silence that was Sasuke's company.
But today she had to forgo all of this. It was time to take her first steps toward civilization, and it would start with a conference – she had to confront her team from the last mission. Something important needed to be said. While Naruto was off gathering the ninja, the girl waited in the room alone.
As she sat, Sakura did her best to submerge the pangs of bitterness that arose when thoughts of Kagura or Tsunade wriggled into her psyche. She decided days ago that she had wasted enough mental energy considering Kagura's betrayal, beating herself up over not seeing the signs earlier, wondering over her cryptic words about wanting her, feeling angry at Tsunade for abandoning her, agonizing over what made her so unworthy of being acknowledged as family by the sannin...and the list went on and on. There was only so much pain and confusion she could subject herself to before she finally felt numb to her situation. But every now and then...
Her hand flitted to her right arm, holding the burning area as another sharp sting subsided. The frail girl's gaze fell on the bandaged area of her arm, recalling the source of this pain that gripped her.
Kagura moved her arms behind her to form her hand seals. The woman then pressed her palm against Sakura's arm, funneling a steady stream of chakra into the girl's body.
Sakura shuddered as she remembered the subsequent wildfire of pain which had scorched her body afterwards. How could her plan to stop thinking about Kagura-related events work if the intermittent stings up her right arm wouldn't leave her alone? Despite her cast from her broken forearm being removed, her caretakers never redressed that particular injury, so she never saw what lay there. The dulling pain that now prickled from it was teasing her to peer underneath the white medical tape.
Weaseling her fingers into the bandage, she slowly unwrapped her arm. She hesitated as she got to the last layer, inhaling a bracing breath before finally abandoning the wrappings completely. Her lips parted in a soundless gasp as her eyes met the skin that had been concealed, her fingers itching to touch the area but her fear holding them back for the moment.
Etched into her flesh, there was a symbol. Two dark crescents rested midway up her arm, appearing like a waxing and waning moon facing back to back. A wispy line connected the two moons, the line gradually thickening as it went from one to the other.
No longer able to restrain it, the pinkette extended her shaky index finger onto the area, cringing as she retracted the appendage. Even with her fingers bandaged, she could feel the ice of her stained flesh. Disgust quickly replaced awe as she stared at the dark marking, a product of another's chakra residing within her.
What did this mean? What was the purpose of this marking? The memory of Sasuke enveloped by his Curse of Heaven flashed across her mind. Had she been given some sinister power as well? Neither Tsunade nor Shizune had ever even broached the subject of this marking. Were they unconcerned about it? Or perhaps they did not wish to worry her while her frame was still weak?
Before she could press further, the handle to her room swiveled with a metallic click. Her heart sprang within her ribcage as she fretfully concealed the new symbol with her free hand before any of her visitors could notice. Neji appeared first, Naruto and Ino at his heals.
"N-Neji-san," blurted Sakura, losing subtlety with the surprise in her voice. "You're here. A-And Ino-san you made it."
The Hyuga grunted in affirmation while Ino began her exclamation. "Sakura! Sakura, I can't believe this happened to you! Are you hurt? Are you in pain? Has everyone been treating you well?"
"Y-Yes," she fumbled. "I mean, I've been treated fine. The pain isn't that extreme anymore."
"Not as extreme? Oh that just means it's still there and you don't want to complain about it," fretted the blonde. "They should be doing more for you here."
"I'm okay," maintained Sakura, casually pulling the white sleeve of her hospital gown downwards as she hugged herself. For once in her life she was grateful for the existence of oversized hospital robes, the garment successfully concealing the mark. "I didn't ask you guys here so you could worry over me."
"You're so ridiculous you know that? We've all been worried sick-"
"Now isn't the time, Ino," chastised Neji. "Clearly Sakura has been through a great deal."
"But Neji-"
"I believe she would appreciate if we allowed her room to approach us when she is ready rather than hover over her affairs. I trust she knows to seek out her friends when she needs them."
The Yamanaka relented to his reproval, but Sakura couldn't help but wonder at his statement. She was grateful for his defense but there was something about his tone. Something that felt like he somehow understood something beyond the blonde's knowledge, though she couldn't quite read him. And apart from that...had she just imagined the flicker of his eyes to her arm as he finished speaking?
"So Sakura-chan, why're we all here anyway?"
"Well first, um, where's Hinata-san?"
"She is training with Hiashi-sama," answered Neji, "so she sent me in her place. I hope that is all right."
"I don't mind it," said Sakura, trying to hide the dip in her mood. Hinata was the one she needed to speak to the most. "And Sasuke?"
"I don't know where he ran off to," grunted Naruto. "He knew we were all supposed to meet. He said he'd show up, the jerk. I'm sorry, Sakura-chan."
"No no, it's okay. He's been wasting enough of his time sitting in here with me as it is. I don't blame him, or you, Naruto."
"Yeah well he still shoulda come."
"He's done enough for me-"
"But Sakura-chan-"
"-and I don't deserve anything more," she finished. "From either of you, got it?" They exchanged looks, their eyes heavy with unspoken emotion that only pried away from each other when the room window suddenly blew open with a bang. "You've both been acting so strange," she sighed later.
"Perhaps it should be left opened," said Neji, as Naruto motioned to close it back. "The room reeks of antiseptic. Some fresh air would be pleasant."
The blonde shrugged, taking a place against the wall. The small frown hanging on his face was a stark contrast to the effervescent energy that adamantly rolled off of him on his visits. The cheer he forced was what Sakura had considered so bizarre about him lately. That and his intolerance of Sasuke. Well...his more-than-usual intolerance anyway. As for the Uchiha, his strangeness swung on an entirely different field.
"I called you all here to talk about our last mission," started Sakura finally. "I have something to say and I'd really appreciate it if you hear me out till the end."
The petal-haired chuunin easily read the curiosity that flashed across her teammate's face and she knew what he was thinking. He had been badgering her about the details of her experience in that forest for days without success. And now she was finally going to openly talk about it around him. He also knew this would be difficult for her. If only he could appreciate how difficult the nature of her words would really be.
"Things went south on the last mission, that much I'm sure you all realize. With being stuck in this room, I've had a lot of time to think about what happened and...I was wrong. On the mission I did everything wrong. It was a trap and my carelessness made you all vulnerable to it, especially Hinata-san."
"What are you going on about?" said Ino. "You seriously didn't call us all up here just to..." The grief on the pinkette's face silenced her interruption. She had never looked at Ino so sincerely.
"I split us up prematurely," she continued. "I see that now. Teams should never be divided so sparsely unless absolutely necessary. Ino-san, what I did to you was worst of all. I left you all alone in the forest to execute an ambush. If you got hurt like me..." The girl fisted a tear from her eye. She couldn't afford to break down now.
"And Hinata-san...I placed her in so much danger, over-relying on her Byakugan when I should have acted more cautiously. You must apologize for me, Neji-san, please. I'd be on my knees begging forgiveness if I could get up. They were really going to kill her. They were going to kill all of you. If it weren't for Naruto and Sasuke-"
"Can you stop this right now?" huffed Ino. "Please just stop."
"Part of being a leader means owning up to your mistakes," she answered flatly. "I'll have to tell Sasuke this too. I forced him into a situation that got him injured. My only saving grace is that none of you died. I'm truly sorry I couldn't have been better."
"You're so dense, Sakura," shook Ino, sorrow and anger emanating from her sky blue eyes. "You're the one who nearly died on that mission. The only one. But you can't acknowledge that tiny detail can you? I bet you think none of us would feel a shred of guilt about any of it. Like you deserved it or something."
"I was the leader," she retorted. "Anything that happened was a direct result of no one's decisions but my own. Of course I deserved whatever happened to me. Because I chose it, you guys didn't."
"Don't argue with her, okay?" implored Naruto. "Please, Ino."
"And since when are you the go-to guy for calming people down?" continued the blonde. "Even I can see you're walking on eggshells around her. And Sasuke-kun being MIA is no good either. Your squad's really out of whack these days, and I think the first step in getting you guys back in action starts with you, Sakura."
The pinkette shook her head. This was not going as planned. "The whole point of me asking you all here was to make things right. I'm trying to get things back to normal. Why are you making this so hard for me, Ino-san?"
"Because you're going about this all wrong."
"May I say something?"
"No," chorused the girls, briskly silencing Neji.
The blonde girl tsked. "I don't know what happened to you on that mission but you're pulling away. Instead of actually opening up to anyone, you're wrapping yourself up in formal apologies. Talking about 'I was your leader.' And 'it's my job to own up to this.' You're more than just our leader, you're our friend. Why's that so hard for you to understand?"
"Just forget it," exhaled Sakura. "You're the one who's never been able to understand a thing about me. You just act like you do."
"But I..." There was nothing left to retort after that. She had done it again, hadn't she? Her scramble toward Sakura's respect and friendship once again only widened the chasm between them. Even with the purest of intentions, why did she always end up causing the pinkette more pain? She couldn't let things settle that way, not this time too.
"Is that all you had to say to us, Sakura?" piped Neji.
"More or less. I just wanted to apologize for everything."
"Then I won't contest you for the necessity of those apologies," he continued. "I was not there, so I cannot appreciate what you all went through. However, I can say that I hope getting this off your chest will only help in your recovery."
She nodded. "Thank you, Neji-san. I appreciate that you came."
Damn that Neji, Ino cursed inwardly. How did the Hyuga manage to get in Sakura's amiable graces? Especially considering the way they first met. Surely there was something she could offer too, some words that might coax something positive out of her.
"I-I wanted to say something too," started the Yamanaka, edging forward.
"Don't get near me, Ino-san," said Sakura, eying her cagily. "Please."
"I'm not gonna argue anymore," she added hastily. "I just, I want us to be okay."
"You don't understand-"
"And I promise I'm going to try," pressed Ino, now directly at the chuunin's bedside. "Really really hard."
"You need to get away," warned Sakura, gasping hard now, "I really mean it."
"What's going on? Are you all right? I-I can help." Her hand barely gripped the girl's shaky one before the blonde was tackled to the floor, finding herself being dragged away from the fringes of the hospital bed.
"Get off me, Naruto," squirmed Ino, kicking off the boy before scrambling to her feet. By the time she surfaced, monitors were blaring while nurses skittered into the room, bustling about their charge. Through the throng of white gowns, Ino caught glimpses of the pale pinkette, trembling and thrashing about while the nurses pinned her down. She barely managed to wonder what was happening before she was suddenly whisked out of the room with Neji and Naruto, the door shutting on their exit.
"What's happening in there?" worried Ino. "What are they doing to her? Is she going to be okay?"
"She will no thanks to you," spat Naruto. "She told you to stay away from her, why wouldn't you listen?"
"Well I...I thought she was trying to avoid me...w-wasn't she?"
"She was experiencing a panic attack," concluded Neji, turning to the boy for confirmation. "I was curious, why you stayed clear of her bed from the time we entered. Sakura can't have people in very close proximity to her can she."
The blonde shook his head. "Painkillers numb her enough so that she's fine but ever since they took her off of them we've had to stay away. The medics have to inject her with stuff just so she's calm enough to for them to take a look at her every once in a while. I know she really hates it."
"This is unsettling," said Neji after a pause. "What trauma must she have endured after you separated?"
Ino stared blankly at the door, imagining what terrors she had just stricken the kunoichi with, as those nurses forced pharmaceutical calm to sweep her blood stream. Regret weighed heavily within her as she tore herself away to leave, one parting thought resounding in her mind.
She had done it again.
He leapt off the ledge, landing cleanly on his feet as he sauntered from the structure in a forced pace of calm. What wracked him now was anything but, though his smooth stride was able to carry him far enough away from the building.
"If you're going to tail me, you could at least try to do it right," he announced, stopping on the empty street. "Even a Hyuga from the branch family should have that much self-respect."
"I didn't follow you from the hospital so we could brandish our clan pride," asserted Neji, eyes boring into the boy's back. "But there is something I would like to call to your attention."
"And what makes you think I care about anything you might have to say?"
"Because that something involves Sakura." He allowed a deliberate pause, the other boy using the time to finally turn to face him, as Neji predicted he would.
"Are you really gonna make me ask? Stop wasting my time and say what you have to say."
Neji smirked at his terseness. "You and I are a lot alike, Uchiha, although in my opinion, I am the more pleasant of the two of us. But if there is one thing we can mutually appreciate, it is the light our ties with our teammates have brought to our eyes. I can tell you care deeply for Sakura, which is why I've chosen to come to you."
"I'll say it again, stop wasting my time, Hyuga. Just say what you have to say."
"I need a question answered before I start," said Neji matter-of-factly. "Why weren't you in the room when your teammates held that meeting earlier?"
"Had things to do. By the time I got there you were all leaving so I did too. And then you followed me over here and started asking me stupid questions, you know, instead of telling me what you came here to say."
"You are a piece of work indeed," smirked Neji. "Even when I go out of my way to assist you, you choose to lie to me. I know you were present, which is why I didn't ask why you did not attend the meeting. I asked why you were not in the room."
"You sensed I was at the window," he interpreted.
"The entire time. In fact, you would have given yourself away entirely had I not stopped Naruto from approaching the window to close it. You had unhinged it so you could hear what was happening inside, very sloppy."
"Naruto's as observant as a doorknob, not that I need to defend myself to you. Why do you care why I wasn't inside?"
"Because I find it peculiar, though Sakura's reaction to your absence supports a theory of mine."
"I'm not interested in your theories. Just tell me about Sakura."
"It's all linked together, Uchiha," assured Neji. "You've been avoiding her, haven't you?"
"You're off your rocker. The dobe and I always make sure she has company."
"But do you speak with her while there?" pressed Neji, an edge in his voice as he stepped closer. "Do you even look at her? Acknowledge her?" The raven-haired boy only grunted. "I believe Sakura feels like a burden to you and Naruto."
"Because you're such an expert on our team dynamics right?"
"She's noticed Naruto's extra care, and how much he avoids displeasing her in any way. Throughout Sakura's entire speech, he didn't object to her ill-placed guilt once. And you? I believe she interprets your aversion to her as resentment."
"Sakura knows I don't think of her like that," he objected. "She knows how I get."
"Can you be so certain? She described you staying with her in her room as a waste of your time. I think she blames the recent strain on Team 7 on herself. Because you are all so occupied with taking care of her that you aren't placing enough attention on yourselves, and it's draining you. But we both know the true reason why her presence is so hard on you, Uchiha."
"You don't know me," maintained Sasuke. "And you don't know Sakura. You think those eyes of yours can read every emotion under the sun. But they fall short when it comes to us."
"Doubtful. But I will acknowledge that I can't know everything. I'm only reporting to you what I see. If Sakura can't let this guilt go, she will never recover from the attack...not mentally at-"
Sasuke's hands found Neji's collar before he could finish his thought. "She isn't some head case," he growled. "So don't you dare talk about her that way."
The Hyuga watched him blankly, unfazed through his hold. "Guilt comes in many shapes and forms, doesn't it?"
The Sharingan user released the boy with a curt shove, slipping his hands in his pockets as he stalked off under the afternoon sun.
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
A/N: It's been months, but my re-writes of Chapters 1-23 are up and I've (finally) gotten to new material again! I highly encourage everyone to give those chapters a read. I think you will enjoy them, plus it'll help you understand any inconsistencies you may detect from this chapter on. PM me if you have any questions. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and I will be updating again soon!