Prince Gumball: An 18-year-old gum/human hybrid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn.
Fionna—is a 13-year-old adventurer and Cake's adoptive sister. While usually appearing as black dots, her eyes are seen as blue when enlarged. She wears a rabbit-themed hat (similar to Finn's bear-themed hat) with exposed locks of blonde hair. Unlike Finn, her neck is shown. Her outfit includes a teal blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a dark blue skirt, and knee-high socks with two thin horizontal stripes at the top. Fionna is heavier set than. She has a green backpack (similar to Finn's) and Mary Jane shoes. Her name was officially changed from "Fiona" to "Fionna," presumably to make it more similar to Finn's name. The pronunciation, however, has remained unchanged. Like Finn and his crush on Princess Bubblegum, it is revealed in many portraits posted that Fionna has a crush on Prince Gumball. Fionna has buck teeth like a rabbit. Fionna, like Finn, is Cake's adoptive sister.
Cake—Fionna's best friend/adoptive sister and Mo-Chro's girlfriend. She doesn't look much like Jake aside from their body proportions. She has white eyes in which the black pupils become circular if surprised, excited, shocked, or scared. She has a cat muzzle and a small nose (compared to Jake's), cat ears, white fur with many coffee colored spots, and a large bushy tail. Cake may know Morse code in order to speak to Lord Monochromicorn, similar to how Jake knows Korean in order to speak to Lady Rainicorn. Cake plays a hammered dulcimer, as opposed to a viola. Her tail "frizzes out" if it is agitated or worried. As a Lumpy Space 'cat', she is a light color of maroon with large spots of fuchsia to match her coffee-colored spots. Her tail is now lumpy and more beaver-tail-like.
Bush Wizard--is a character in To Cut a Man's Hair and enlists Fionna and Cake for help with his balding problem. He is tall, with leafy skin, a twig-mouth, and a bald head. He wears a leafy, patched cloak that covers his entire body.
TO CUT A MAN'S HAIR
Title Card
Fionna raises the pair of scissors above the sleeping prince's head, the light catching its surface.
Fionna leaned into the bird's nest and spat out the bits of chewed-up apple to the little baby birds. They pecked away at the bits hungrily, snapping their little beaks open and shut. Fionna bent her head down. "Hey, Cupcake, gimme some more apple."
Cake, who was sitting casually on a lower branch, smiled a "Coming up!" and stretched her apple-filled paw up to her sister.
"Thanks." Fionna took a big bite of the bright red apple, chewed it up until she got all of the juice out, and spat it out to the little birds. Again, they pecked away hungrily at the bits.
"Is that enough, Mr. BlackBeak?" Fionna asked the little blackbird sitting on a tiny branch before her.
"Yes, that should hold them until their mother gets back from her trip." Mr. BlackBeak nodded politely.
"Let us know if you need anything else." Fionna offered, hopping down from the branch onto her feet. Cake stepped down after her sister.
As the duo walked away, Mr. BlackBeak called after them, "You two truly are heroines!"
"Did ya hear that?" Fionna asked Cake as the two began their trek home. "He called us heroines."
"Yeah, I heard." nodded Cake.
An odd rustling interrupted their conversation. The two girls' attention turned to a thick bush standing before them. As they watched, the bush sprouted arms and legs and grew taller until the shape of a man stood before them. He was tall and lanky, with a patchy cloak, emerald green eyes, and two twigs for a pair of lips. His bald head gleamed bright in the sun.
"Hey. How's it going?" the man brushed off stray leaves and dirt that caught onto his skin and cloak. He turned to the two girls. "Is it true, what that bird said? You gals are heroines?"
Instead of answering, Fionna stared at the odd man. "Why were you spying on us?"
"I wasn't spying. I'm a Bush Wizard, and I was just sitting here when I just so happened to overhear that conversation just then. Pretty algebraic, right?"
"Uh...yeah!" "Bleh." The two girls said at the same time.
"So listen, I need you two 'heroines' to get me a lock of prince's hair."
"Why?"
"Because I have a severe case of baldinitis." The Bush Wizard huffed, as if it were the most obvious thing in existence.
"No, really?" "Not true!" "Not even possible!" Fionna and Cake said as convincingly as possible.
The Bush Wizard rolled his emerald green eyes. "I need the prince's hair for a spell so that I can grow my hair back. THEN I'LL BE GORGEOUS."
"...OK then..." Fionna stared a moment before smiling. "Well, we know lots of princes."
Cake suddenly burst into a fit of nervous, sweating laughter. Giggling, she turned to the Bush Wizard. "Can you give us a minute?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "OK."
Cake pulled her sister a good twenty feet away out of the Bush Wizard's earshot. After glancing over her furry shoulder, she turned to her human sister. "I don't think we should help this guy."
"Why not?"
"He's a wizard!"
"He may be good. Not all wizards are bad."
"He probably is."
They turned to the Bush Wizard. A little, adorable butterfly was fluttering over to him. As they watched, he snapped his jaws down on it and ate it in one bite.
"If he were good, he wouldn't be so ugly." cringed Cake as the Bush Wizard swallowed, licking his lips.
"Are you gals still talking?" the Bush Wizard called, causing the two girls to jump.
"So what do we do?" Fionna asked her feline sister. "Tell him we can't help because he's ugly?"
"No, Fifi, then he'll curse us, or hex us, or maybe even kill us." answered Cake. "I'm gonna get rid of him with some of my lady moves."
She smoothed out her fur, fluffed her tail, and strode over to the Bush Wizard. "Sorry about all that talking just then. Hey, you don't mind if I take a little...break do you?" In one smooth move, she laid down on her elbow, her tail curling around her paws. "I just feel so relaxed around you."
"What were you two talking about?" The Bush Wizard demanded.
"How devishly handsome you are."
The Bush Wizard stared for a moment as if he were sure she was lying. "Hnuh?"
"We were just saying that someone as strikingly good-looking as you doesn't even NEED a full head of hair." Cake said, giving her tail a little flick. "Right, Fifi?"
"Yeah." Fionna gave a thumbs-up. "Totally."
"R-really?" the leaves around the Bush Wizard's cheeks turned red.
"Boy, if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd be on you like syrup on pancakes." purred Cake. Fionna had to admit she was good.
"I don't mind if you have a boyfriend." The Bush Wizard leaned down next to the cat.
It was as if you could hear a record scratching. Cake's eyes flew wide open, and her tail froze mid-frizz. "OH."
"I don't think this is going to work." whispered Fionna to the panicked cat.
"I think it's making things worse." Cake agreed.
Cake felt something brush against her tail. Alarmed, she looked down to the see Bush Wizard softly stroking its fur. "YAH! I mean...yah?"
"How about you and I go over to the jungle. See if we can't have a word or two?"
"...How about we just have a pasta dinner?"
"...Huh."
"Look, guy, we can't help you get prince's hair." sighed Fionna in exasperation.
"Why not?"
"Because..." A light-bulb went off in Fionna's head. "We only help people in danger."
"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" The Bush Wizard rose up to his feet.
He cleared his throat and cracked his knuckles. Then he stared intently down at Cake and wiggled his fingers at her. At first, the two girls were confused (and a bit weirded out.) But then they both became aware of the glimmering yellow air appearing around Cake. Cake's little body began to lift into the air, not letting her move or escape. She was soon on the Bush Wizard's other side. The glimmering air implanted her two lower paws into the ground like two little tree saplings. The air disappeared, and they thought it was over, until about a dozen thick, snake-like vines began to form around her paws. Cake thought nothing of it at first, but when she made a move to escape, it was as if the vines were practically fusing her paws into the earth. But it wasn't bad. The vines stopped at the top of her paws. Still unallowing her to move, but nowhere near killing her.
"There." the Bush Wizard said simply. "Now someone's in danger."
Cake glared at her sister. "Told you he was evil."
Fionna began to grow angry. She sprinted towards the Bush Wizard, he fists raised and ready to grab her Ruby Sword if necessary. But just as she leaped into the air to deliver the first blow, she was blown off her feet right onto her back. She gave a small groan and sat up.
"Did you seriously forget I was a Wizard?" the Bush Wizard scoffed.
"Sorta..."
"Look, here's how this is going to work: You're going to get me some prince's hair. If you don't, these vines are going to crawl all the way up your sister and squeeze her so tight, all the water in her body is going to be squeezed right out until she's nothing but a pile of dust."
As if in agreement, the vines began to twist up to the top of Cake's thighs. She yelped, feeling her legs go numb and earthy. "FIFI! GET SOME PRINCE HAIR!"
"Alright! I'll get some!" Fionna said hastily.
"Wait!"
Fionna stopped.
"You can't tell anyone why you need it."
"Why not?"
"I don't want people to know about my baldinitis."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"OK..." Fionna walked away in a jog.
Fionna ran to the nearest castle she could find and ran to it. It was tall and thick and made of grey brick, actually pretty simple and old-fashioned. She ran to the door and knocked. Muscle Prince stood before her, tall and thick like a brick wall. "Fionna! What a surprise!"
"Hi, Muscle Prince."
"Why brings you here?"
"You were the closest prince nearby...I need some of your hair."
"Why?"
"I can't tell you."
"I see."
"You do?"
"Of course."
Out of absolute nowhere, Muscle Prince made a move to pull Fionna into a hug. Alarmed, Fionna ducked out of reach. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to hug you."
"Why? I want hair, not hug."
"Oh I understand." Muscle Prince smirked. "You want to take things slow..."
"Wh-NO. I...I'm here to save you. From your hair. It looks awful. Cut it off. NOW."
"Of course it looks bad." scoffed Muscle Prince. "If I had really nice hair, no one would look at my muscles. Fionna, why don't you take some time to think about love, huh?"
And with that, he slammed the castle doors in her face.
"Prince...prince...prince..." Fionna searched the jungle blindly, searching left and right, high and low, over and under. Surely some prince had to be around. The Land of Aaa was packed with them.
An orange glow in the distance caught her eye. "Who's that?"
When she walked closer, she was surprised at the campsite. A fire sat in the middle of the camp, a few bottles and wrappers of food scattered around aimlessly. An empty shopping cart stood off to the side. But what surprised Fionna the most was the figure in the sleeping bag under the tree: Lumpy Space Prince.
"Does he live in the jungle now?" Fionna looked around the campsite in question.
LSP slurred in his sleep. "Get away from my camp...I'll cut you..."
Fionna leaned in closer and took not in the orange gleam that caught on LSP's purple surface. "Does he have hair?"
She leaned closer and saw that she was correct: Very, very short hair, like a chiuaua's skin, covered LSP's surface, almost unnoticeable. "Well...hair's hair..."
She reached into her green pack and took out a pair of nice scissors. She then began to cut away at the purple fur, snipping bits of it up around her.
"WHAT THE STUFF ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU HACKING OFF MY LUMPS?"
Fionna yelped as LSP pushed her off her feet. "Because they're...so nice...?"
"I KNEW you liked me!" LSP whooped.
"No I don't!" Fionna shook her head side to side. "I'm just stopping by because-"
"Admit it, Fionna. You can't resist me." LSP flexed what little muscle he had.
"Yes I can." Fionna darted far away from the campsite, back into the jungle. LSP called after her. "DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'RE SURE ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS."
Fionna didn't know how long she ran until she came to a metal fence. Curious, she looked inside. "A graveyard? There has to be a hairy prince in here that won't think I'm hitting on him!"
She slinked through a hole in the fence silently. If people found out she was here, after all, they'd think her to be a really weird creep. She ran to gravestone to gravestone, looking for the lucky six-letter word, but none seemed to show. Old woman died in a skyfall...little boy drowned in chocolate...so on so forth...
Finally, the word popped out like a beacon.
"'Here lies Prince Gorgeous.'" Fionna read. "'He was so gorgeous.' Perfect! And kind of cadaverous...Oh well."
She plunged her hand into her pack for her shovel.
It seemed about half an hour or so later until Fionna's shovel hit something hard and wooden. Finally, she tossed the shovel to the side and brushed away the remaining dirt. Excited and relieved, she flung the casket open-
Only to find a completely bald skeleton.
"WHERE'S HIS HAIR?" Confused, Fionna looked back up at the gravestone and pushed some stray twigs and branches aside.
Here lies Prince Gorgeous: He was so gorgeous.
But died of baldinitis.
"DANGIT!"
Fionna stumbled all the way back to the Bush Wizard. He was muttering to himself, talking solely about hair. Fionna took alarmed note in the fact that the vines had grown and twisted all the way up to Cake's neck, bounding her arms in front of her like a mummy. She was losing time fast.
"Cupcake!" Fionna crawled over to her feline sister so that she wouldn't catch the Bush Wizard's attention.
"Do you have the hair?" asked Cake.
"Getting prince's hair is impossible, Cupcake. Every prince I go to just thinks I'm in love with them. I'm sorry. I think you're just going to have to live the rest of your life as a pile of dust..."
"No!" Cake gasped out as the vines began to twist up to the sides of her muzzle.
"Hush!" barked the Bush Wizard.
"If they think that you like them than use that." Cake instructed her sister. "Embrace it! Find the least terrible prince you can find, play some music, cook him a meal, smooth talk him a bit, and get that hair."
"You mean, like go on a date?" Fionna asked quickly as he vines began to twist all around Cake's face.
"Marry a prince if you have to! Just get me some hair!" And then the vines completely covered Cake's face, totally cocooning her in vines.
"Cupcake!"
"Go git de haire!" Cake's muffled voice replied.
"PRINCE GUMBALL!"
Prince Gumball turned from his topato plants at the sound of his name. Fionna was darting towards him frantically. "Oh, hello Fionna. What's wrong?"
"I, eh, need you to come with me." Fionna said in between gasps of air.
"Why?" Prince Gumball held up a watering can. "I'm taking care of my topato plants right now."
Fionna slapped the watering can from his hands. "Just come on! We don't have much time!"
After a while of running frantically through the jungle, the duo came to a clearing. A boiling pot over a fire sat in the middle, lifting up wafts of steam.
"Fionna, what is this?" Prince Gumball asked.
"We're having a pasta dinner."
"Really? Where do we sit?"
Out of absolute nowhere, Fionna whipped out a battleaxe, gave off a warrior cry, and ran right up to a tree. She delivered blow after blow from the axe, with lightning speed. Prince Gumball watched with complete confusion. Finally, the tree fell right through the clearing. Fionna ran to two different places and chopped out two circular wood pieces. She rolled both of them on either side of the remaining tree. She quickly gestured for Prince Gumball to sit down on the nearest one, in which he obliged to, still confused and awkward. Fionna sat down on the other side and reached into her pack. She laid out a checkered blanket, two paper plates, two glass cups, and two forks. She filled the two cups with apple juice from a plastic bottle.
Fionna took out a dollar bill and leaned down to the grass to a ladybug with a violin. "Hey, Sal, make it romantic."
The ladybug nodded, took the dollar bill, and began a nice, little tune.
Fionna ran over to the pot over the fire and reached right inside. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" She filled her arms with steamy, saucy pasta and dumped it all on her and (the very confused) Prince Gumball's plates. "Here, shove this into your mouth."
"Fionna, I don't under-"
"IN. YOUR. MOUTH."
"Well, OK." Prince Gumball took a big bite of the hot pasta, blowing it off a bit. The pasta consisted of farfalle rotonde noodles, nicely coated in Parmesan sauce with basil and parsley. Fionna was actually a really good cook. "You're lucky I love pasta."
"Prince Gumball, do you like me?" Fionna asked, blushing bashfully as she did so.
"Of course I like you, Fionna."
Fionna blushed a bit more. "Really?"
Prince Gumball took another bite of pasta. "Yeah."
"THANK GLOB ABOVE." Fionna shook her arms in Prince Gumball's direction like a child reaching for a toy. "Gimme some of your hair."
"Oh, that's sweet Fionna." Prince Gumball said, and took a sip of the icy apple juice. "Sure you can have some of my hair." He reached up into the pink quiff on his head and took off a reasonable piece of it. Afterwards, it didn't look a least bit changed. He handed to Fionna across the table. "Here ya go."
"THANK YOU, PRINCE GUMBALL!" Fionna hopped up on the table in her glee, sending both plates of pasta and both glasses of apple juice everywhere. Then she ran off into the jungle.
"My pasta..." Prince Gumball muttered
The vines had twisted and squeezed Cake so much that now she was only half a foot wide, like a thickish stick. The form that once bore the feline cat was now skinny and frozen.
"My dog's wife had a bunch of puppies." The Bush Wizard was going on. "I was thinking about naming one of them Tumbleweed. What do you think, is that good?"
"TRIUMPHANT RETURN!"
Fionna's voice caught the Bush Wizard's attention. Fionna stood a good ten feet away, one foot up on a rock, her hair-filled hand raised in a glorious way. "Genuine prince's hair. Ya hear that, Cupcake?" Fionna looked at her sister, and then gasped when she saw her form. "CUPCAKE!"
"Im fine. Justh giv it ta hm alwidy."
"Alright, bro. A deal's a deal." Fionna held out the piece of hair.
The Bush Wizard gave a little whoop of glee and took the prince's hair-
And froze in a frown. "This isn't hair." He pinched off a bit of the chunk of hair and popped it into his mouth, causing Fionna to start. "This is gum."
"What?" asked Fionna.
"Wuth?" asked Cake.
Fionna took off a piece of the prince's hair, popped it into her mouth, and chewed. "It is gum!"
"Well, guess you failed." sighed the Bush Wizard. "Say goodbye to your cat."
The vines began to twist together. Cake let out a muffled scream as her form began to go thinner and thinner, like a shrinking stick.
"WAIT!"
The vines stopped. Cake's form was literally a centimeter wide.
"Look, if I've learned anything today, it's to be DIRECT. So here it is: YOU. ARE. CRAZY. UGLY."
"What?" snarled the Bush Wizard.
"Fifee!" Cake's muffled voice sobbed.
"Having gorgeous hair isn't going to get you anywhere." Fionna went on. "Because you're ugly inside and out. So ugly I want to puke my guts out."
"Fifeeeeee."
"No one will EVER find you gorgeous. And it has nothing to do with your baldinitis. It's what's on the inside that has to do with it. Now, can you please release my sister?"
"Fifee..."
"No, she's right." the Bush Wizard sighed.
"HUFH?"
"I know I'm ugly. Nothing to help it."
The Bush Wizard snapped his fingertips. The vines began to bloom out, widening and widening, but also rotting and molding. Eventually, they all fell away, releasing the feline cat inside like a present. Fionna ran to her feline friend and scooped her up.
"I know no one will ever love me." sighed the Bush Wizard. "But I thought that maybe if I had gorgeous hair, I could learn to love myself." The Bush Wizard began to sob softly.
Fionna felt a piece of herself die inside. "I feel bad now."
"I don't." scoffed Cake.
Fionna turned to the Bush Wizard. "Hey, does it have to be PRINCE'S hair?"
"No. Just gorgeous hair."
"Well, then. Check. This. Out."
And then Fionna whipped her white, bunny-eared hat right off.
Golden hair shimmered all around her. The sun gave it a healthy, unearthly glow, as if the hair were weaved with sunlight. The hair was very thick, and could probably be used as a blanket if necessary. Fionna's hair was also extremely long, pooling into a one-foot circle around her ankles.
Cake smirked at her sister.
"You'd REALLY give me your gorgeous hair?" the Bush Wizard gasped.
"Sure." shrugged Fionna.
When they were done, nothing remained of Fionna's hair but the chunk of it that had previously existed.
"How do I look?" the Bush Wizard asked, the hair all threaded together on his head in a nice wig.
"Totally gorgeous. Inside and out." Fionna pulled her bunny-hat back on.
"Thank you, Fionna. That silly little bird was right about you." the Bush Wizard beamed. "Now I can use my hair...FOR EVIL!"
"WHAT?"
"Because I'm evil. Whattya want from me?" the Bush Wizard made an attempt to run away, but ended up falling over a thick lock of his new wig. "I think I broke a twig."
Fionna and Cake burst into laughter.
TRIVIA
Fionna removes her hat for the first time in the series.
LSP has very short hair.
Prince Gumball loves pasta.
Prince Gumball's hair is made of gum.