A/N: I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. All I can say is that I just went through the worst period of writer's block I have ever experienced. I wasn't happy with anything, the words just weren't there... it was horrible. I got to the end of this chapter with much more in mind but I figured I might as well give what I have now and just continue it into the next chapter when it comes to me. Some inspirational ideas would be awesome! I have mine, but I guess I'm just not happy with them anymore. To those who are still with me, I can't thank you enough. In other news, I found a guy. I have this horrible reputation for shooting guys down, not because I am a tease or anything, but because I can't ever feel anything more than friendship... and this is the first guy who has broken that since my ex a few years ago. I forgot what it feels like, can you believe that?

Love,

-A

Chapter 34 - I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Alexandra sat frozen on her knees, letting the harsh words sink in.

"Speak."

She flinched at his abrupt command, "Yes."

The ancient elf lord rose out of his chair, his icy features illuminated by the bluish, ethereal glow of the winding roots. He silently made his way over to the teary eyed girl, his robes making no sound as they trailed behind him. He motioned to the bed and spoke in an angelically smooth, but taunting tone, "You must be a mighty creature to render one so strong to this."

By now, he was a few feet away, towering over her broken form. If only he knew how his words were slowly tearing her heart in two from guilt… "What is your name?" he inquired. She tried her best to find her voice, "Alexandra Fanell… and you are King Thranduil."

His eyes narrowed, examining her and making her subconsciously lean farther back. The elf lord's presence was overwhelming, a master of intimidation. She felt like an ant under a magnifying glass in his piercing gaze.

"A wise assumption, and these are my halls… but I am sure you already knew that as well," he mused mockingly. "Tell me, who are you really? My eyes are old, but they are far from blind. I have seen life.. death.. peace.. war.. Do not be so arrogant to think you can hide anything from me."

She shyly met his eyes and mustered up all the confidence she could find, "I am Alexandra Fanell, no other." The ancient being smirked, "Aye, I am sure that is what you are called…" He waved his hand dismissively, "I care not for names because names are dispensable. What I seek is deeper..."

The elvenking locked her nervous eyes with his and she found herself unable to break his reading stare. "It is known only by those who care to look that the eyes reflect the soul…" he paused, "and alas, your eyes deceive you much too easily, little one." His gaze softened as he leaned in an inch closer, "You know despair and it welcomes you with open arms… I see a great loss, and a terrible burden that coincides with it…"

She felt as if his gaze pierced her to the core. She felt exposed… helpless...

"Tis a pity for one so young to be weighed down so by the world's troubles…" he trailed off faintly. He tilted her chin up and redirected her gaze as her eyes fell, "I see wisdom gifted with haste; unfairly given… a wisdom that has aged you. Yet, I see the innocence and inexperience of a child…"

"So many conflictions… so helplessly caught in the rift between childhood and adulthood… past and present… heart and mind…"

The injured girl sat there staring with wide frightened eyes… hating herself more with every word. Her mismatching eyes overflowed with icy tears as the elf lord leaned down to her level, his long silver hair hanging like a curtain around his upper body.

"And what is this I see? A flame… a cause… there is a wealth of strength in you that lies dormant, waiting to free itself at the opportune moment. But do not smother it with a shadow of doubt, for it will suffocate it quicker than the setting sun..."

He slowly raised his slender hand to her emerald eye and lightly brushed two ringed fingers over her brow. She watched warily, but dared not move. She couldn't if she tried.

…

Will you come back with me?

…

But Mommy! He's an angel!

…

A woman surrounded by a blinding white light stood in front of the glowing, ancient tree.

I love you, my-

The vision abruptly ended when the elf lord snatched his hand away, knocking both back. Alexandra's chest rapidly rose and fell as she fought to control her breathing. With frightened eyes she awaited judgment. The elvenking stood slowly. His electric blue eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost. She shied away as they rapidly flickered across her kneeling form for an explanation. As the elf lord parted his lips to speak, a third elf soundlessly flew into the room.

"My Lady! There you are!"

He rushed to her side and kneeled next to her, keeping his voice to a low hiss, "You cannot leave like that! You had me worried sick and if my father discovered that I let you out of my sight and you hurt yourself-" Before he could finish his sentence, his keen senses picked up the presence of another in the room. The younger elf's head snapped up as he caught sight of his King.

"My Lord! Please forgive my intrusion…" He quickly lowered his head and raised an arm to his chest.

The elvenking answered distantly as if deep in thought, "Good evening, Tegalad... It matters not… Would you kindly escort the lady to her room? She is in no condition to be out of bed..."

"Yes, My Lord,"

The curly haired elleth glanced back at the fair King whose face had returned to an emotionless mask. His blank gaze met hers and he spoke with an air of formality that had not been present before, "You risked your life for my son and brought him back to me, for that you have my gratitude..."

She blinked, still dazed by the sudden vision. Alexandra reached over to grab Legolas's cold hand once more, letting the archer's slender fingers fall lifelessly back to the bed while the young elf warrior collected her in his arms and rushed out of the room.

~X~

Two mind-numbing days of bed rest passed, leaving Alexandra prisoner to her thoughts. She was not allowed to leave yet and had only been allowed to wander around her room with an assistant closely watching for any sudden change. Almarean, much to her dismay, managed to slip her herbs to help her sleep at night for fear of another late-night excursion.

Tegalad on the other hand visited her throughout the day and was often the one to bring her food, and each time she would inwardly smirk at the annoyed looks the equally beautiful servants made when they saw a tray of food already sitting on her nightstand.

Though, the inability to leave left her feeling more frustrated than ever. She spent hours at a time staring at the wall trying to decipher her purpose and for some odd reason, her heart ached with foreign emotions. A new, overwhelming sense of guilt left her feeling hopeless and drained of life.

It was different than her guilt for Legolas's injuries… or her other companions whereabouts… no… it was much deeper than that… a buried guilt that was desperately clawing its way to the surface… and all she could provide was that it was connected to her memories. Her mind was strung with the inability to remember. Why did she feel this way? Her body felt the pain, but she had no recollection of why she felt the way she did. Old feelings… why now?

She constantly wracked her brain for an image, a name, a place… anything…but none came. She tediously reviewed what she already knew and the one thing that she kept coming back to was the name that had been haunting her since she gazed into the strange mirror.

Morohtar

And who were the others that day? The ominously familiar voices chaotically echoed through her mind.

I have fallen from Heaven and cannot find my way home

No! Spare them!

But mommy, he's an angel!

Alexandra laid her head in her hands, trembling in anger. She was so close! The memories were like pieces to a puzzle and she couldn't see the final product until she found them all. The shards taunted her like it was all just a sick joke. It made her want to scream until her throat bled. She was prey to her own mind now…

I'm weak… so weak…

Everyone around her was so strong… steadfast… Why couldn't she be like them?

Why couldn't she be like Legolas, who always acted without a second thought? Why couldn't she be fearless like him? Why couldn't she be like Eowyn, who stood true in front of the Witch-King when death was immanent? Why couldn't she be selfless like Arandur and Thalion?

The more she dwelled on her faults, the more she found. And when she finally thought she found redemption in realizing that she was being extremely pessimistic… she hated herself for that.

It was a never ending cycle of anguish, but what else can one do when they have been confined to a room for three days?

The elleth rolled over on her side and squeezed her eyes shut, selfishly giving in to Almarean's herbs. He isn't as discreet as he thinks himself to be…

…

…

You… h…

…

….s

…

…are…d…..

…

S…

…

Cold… So cold…

Tegalad had just taken just taken his shift and was watching the curly-haired elleth worriedly as her sleep became increasingly fitful, debating whether or not he should retrieve his father. But the young warrior knew he was spending all of his energy on Thranduillion. The King's son was in dire need of his healing hands and was by far first priority. Though, he knew that if the prince was fit for a debate, he would surely voice his opinion differently on that matter… One of the many things he admired about Thranduillion.

He cocked his golden head to the side and studied the elleth's troubled, heart-shaped face. One hand rested on her pillow balled into a fist as she tossed her head to the side. As he watched her, he couldn't quite decide whether he liked her yet. She was certainly different than the ellyth he had met. Interesting. Yes, he found her interesting, but did he truly like her? After all, she did seem to cause quite a lot of trouble for him… He could be out on patrol instead of babysitting. And his father would not have reprimanded him for her previous adventure…

The elleth tossed her head to the opposite side.

Maybe he should get someone…

Suddenly, she shot up in bed gasping for air, ruthlessly shattering the silence of the room. Tegalad swiftly jumped to his feet and attempted to calm the frantic girl. He rubbed her back and spoke comforting words in their native tongue in an attempt to put the girl at ease. Though, to his surprise she violently pushed him away and jumped out of bed. He followed and gently yet sternly grabbed her arm, making her spin around and frantically pull away.

"My Lady, you are safe! Please, you must listen to me, you are safe here! Tis I, Tegalad!"

His words did nothing but make her pull harder.

"Let me go, let me go! Can't you feel it?" she pleaded.

"My Lady, please-"

The elleth snapped her head up. The pure terror in her strange, mismatching eyes made the young warrior's heart stop.

"He needs me… HE NEEDS ME!"

With a final yank she freed her arm and took off out of the room, leaving the young warrior watching her long curls trail behind her as she disappeared down the hall.

Sh…

…

…d

Alexandra sprinted soundlessly down the seemingly endless corridor, paying no mind to the doors flying past her in a blur. The hallway became darker and every step she took grew heavier. How could Tegalad notfeel it?

Alone…

As she rounded the corner, the sight of elves hastily flying in and out of Legolas's room made her pace quicken tenfold. She didn't know how many she nearly knocked over, but she could've cared less. She grabbed a hold of the doorframe as she flew into the dark room.

Almarean sat kneeling next to the royal's bed with both hands grasping his chalk white face, mumbling elvish words. King Thranduil sat on the opposite side, grasping his son's hand with a worried expression. Suddenly, a hand seized her arm and began pulling her away from the room. She turned around to find that it was again Tegalad. As she struggled against him she pleaded desperately, "Wait.. wait! Please, let me see him!" She glanced back into the room to find the King staring impassively at her.

She called to him, "Please! I can help! I know I can! Please!"

The elf snaked his arm around her waist, making her surge forward and plead, "Let me see him! Please!" As he finally pulled her away from the door a voice called from within.

"Wait. Let her enter."

Alexandra ripped her body from the elf's hold and reentered the room. A mixture of confusion and exhaustion was evident in the Healer's normally lighthearted features. She looked to the King who gazed at her warily and addressed her slowly, "You have one chance, child."

The elleth nodded back and slowly made her way over, just then realizing she had no idea what she was doing. He had Almarean who was the most skilled Healer in Greenwood, what could she do? Though, despite her increasing doubt, something deep within her was urging her to be there. With every step the voices grew louder and she felt as if something was pushing her away like an opposing magnet, but she persisted.

Almarean moved to the side, letting her take his spot. She looked down and covered her mouth to suppress a gasp when she noticed whatever color and light had been left in Legolas's body had vanished. If she had not the hearing to pick up his ghost of a heartbeat, she would have thought him dead. Alexandra kneeled next to the bed and shakily extended her hand, but when her palm met his forehead her body was sent backwards and into the quick arms of the Healer. She looked up to find he was just as shocked as she.

"That is it! She should not be near him, it is evident! There is something different about her and I will not risk my son's life over it!" the great King fumed. Almarean raised his hands slowly to calm the Lord, "My Lord, I have tried relentlessly to tap into the darkness that has overcome him, you have seen what little I have been able to do. Whatever has hold of Legolas obviously does not want the girl near him! If she harbored any ill will towards your son, she would not have been found bloodied and near death protecting him. I see no deceit! Please, My Lord…hear reason and let her try."

With a deep breath and hatred filled eyes he hissed, "Do not prove my suspicions to be true, you will regret it dearly!"

With a nod, Alexandra turned back to Legolas and reached forward once more. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes before laying both hands on the sides of the prince's angelic face. This time, she expected the blow and braced her body against it. Alexandra cried out as a deep wave of pain coursed through her body like a raging river and the ominous voice she heard earlier mercilessly flooded her head. Her eyes shot open, and she gasped in horror as her surroundings were slowly fading to black.

In the background she could hear make out Tegalad shouting, "Her eyes! Father, you must do something! Her eyes are black!" Hearing this, she shut her eyes and let the voice consume her.

A..lo…

….weak

All…de…..

She focused everything she had on the voice, and suddenly everything went silent.

Alexandra slowly opened her eyes, but the enveloping darkness made her wonder if her eyes had opened at all. She jumped when from somewhere in the black she heard a child crying. Tentatively, she took a step forward and pursued the pitiful sound.

After a minute of walking she noticed a small light in the distance. As she made her way closer, the light dulled into a soft glow and she realized it was a small child curled up on the stone floor. His small body was dressed in a soft blue tunic and he had long silky, silver hair that fanned out around his head. From his mane protruded two pointed ears and his skin emitted a gentle glow. Crystalline tears trailed down his innocent face.

"Nana… Why did you leave…"

Alexandra crouched down in front of the child and tentatively brushed back a few tear-damp locks of silver hair that rested on his cheek. She fought back a gasp when she examined his face further. He looks like…

"Legolas?" she whispered incredulously.

The child let out a small whimper.

"Nana… Come back home…"

Alexandra reached out to pick him up, but her arms fazed right through his tiny body.

"What the…"

She tried again, but to no avail.

As she went for her final attempt, his body disappeared.

"Legolas?"

A small sniffle made her jump to her feet. The elfling was standing ten feet ahead of her, as if waiting.

As she cautiously stood, he broke out into a run, making the elleth swiftly jump to her feet and follow after.

"Wait!"

Her echoing calls were met only by ghost-like whimpers as she took off into the endless shadow.

A/N: No responses this time, I feel horrible and I don't think I deserve to even talk to you wonderful people after this little stunt :( I will update much sooner I swear. Also, the next chapters should have a much better feel to them if you know what I mean!