I DO NOT OWN the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. All rights belong to E.L. James.

A/N: Hey guys! I know! It's been for-ever! I'm trying to get it together(: I'm getting a break in about a week so I'll be updating probably all the time after this week(: to make up for this. I promise!

Chapter 37.
Anastasia Steele

"Anastasia," Dr. Flynn reached out to shake my hand. "I've heard so much about you."

I could feel my hands constricting around Christian's blazer, my nerves on high alert from the moment Dr. Flynn made himself apparent.

"Ana, baby," Christian whispered to me. "It's alright. Dr. Flynn is a friend."

My eyes shifted up to Christian, my trembling hands pulling away from his blazer before I looked to Dr. Flynn and shook his hand.

"I've heard so much about you as well, Dr. Flynn," I whispered.

His gaze never shifted from genuinely happy to meet me and for a moment I wondered if Christian had told him about my past as well as his.

"Come," he waved us in. "Sit. I hear you would like to speak with me, Ana?"

I cleared my throat, steadying myself and forcing the anxiety down as best I could before Christian lead me over to a couch near by.

"Yes," I sighed, sitting down on the loveseat beside Christian. I straightened myself, becoming instantly relaxed when Christian pressed his hand into the small of my back. He was telling me that he was here. He wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt me. "As you probably know, Dr. Flynn, Christian and I had a sort of…falling out a few months ago."

"Yes," Dr. Flynn nodded. "Before the engagement, correct?"

"Correct," I replied. "You see, I wasn't aware of Christian's…lifestyle. I'm still not completely informed on that subject or Christian's diagnosis's. I haven't really discussed my own with him but I'd like to know his. What caused this reaction?"

"What reaction?" he asked.

I swallowed, my gaze shifting to Christian for a moment, nervously.

"Would you like Christian to wait outside?" Dr. Flynn asked.

"No!" I instantly gripped onto Christian's wrist. "I m-mean, I'd prefer it if he stayed."

"Alright," Dr. Flynn scribbled something onto a pad he had picked up before sitting. "Then what reaction are you speaking of, Anastasia?"

"Why…does he react well to control and not to affection. It seems that I am really the only person Christian is completely comfortable with besides his family and even with them, sometimes, Christian is much cooler with them then with me."

Dr. Flynn took a moment to inhale my question, take it in and asses what he would say as Christian kissed my shoulder. He wasn't upset about the question and he wanted me to know it.

"In both Christian's record and yours, Anastasia-"

"You have my medical record?" I asked, stunned.

"Yes," Dr. Flynn replied calmly.

"How did you gain access to that?" I hissed, feeling my blood pressure begin to rise. "Isn't there some law against reading into someone's life?"

"My patient," Dr. Flynn waved to Christian. "Is interacting with another patient that was treated by my former colleague. I became Dr. canter's replacement when she decided to retire, Anastasia, and in becoming her replacement, I gained all access to her patient files incase you came back to session with me. Or, like in this instance, where you two underwent treatment together, I am allowed to scan your file."

"I don't know you," I grit between my teeth.

"I hope we'll be able to remedy that today, Anastasia," Dr. Flynn said quietly.

"Ana," Christian rubbed soothing circles into my back. "Dr. Flynn is a professional. He was not snooping nor will he speak to anyone about either one of us. I can assure that."

I took in a long breath, nodding in response to his words after a moment before looking back to Dr. Flynn.

"Continue," I offered quietly.

"Thank you," he nodded in gratitude. "As I was saying, when I was looking at both yours and Christian's files I found that Dr. Canter used a method on the both of you that, nowadays, would be quite disturbing to use on any two patients."

"And what method would that be?"

"The Bonding Method."

"Yes," Christian nodded. "I remember Dr. Canter saying something about that before I met Anastasia."

"It was a method that not many used because of the usual outcomes but since the both of you suffer with such severe cases of PTSD, I understood why she attempted the trial."

"Can you explain the purpose of the method?" I asked, clinging to Christian.

Dr. Flynn nodded, sitting up straight.

"The Bonding Method was meant for patients who did not interact well with other people, specifically children with trust issues, much like Christian and yourself, Anastasia. We created a strong, friendly bond between two children who suffered with the same anxiety issues, allowing them to understand and grow with one another. This would, hopefully, allow both parties to learn to trust others, not just the partners they were paired with."

"What was wrong with the method then?" I asked.

"Well, like I said, Anastasia," Dr. Flynn sighed. "The method was one many didn't use often because the outcomes were not what we wanted them to be."

"That means…?" Christian chimed in.

"Instead of the children learning to trust others after bonding with another child, they clung to one another. They trusted no one besides the secondary patient, not even their families. The anxiety grows even further and soon it's impossible to get either children to even focus or calm down without the other in their presence."

My body stiffened, remembering when Ray had told me we were leaving Seattle to go to Florida. I had screamed and fought so hard that I had broken my wrist from punching something. I depended on Christian so much and leaving him back then was an unbearable thing to do. Then there was Christian, who began drinking so early on.

"Christian began drinking," Dr. Flynn said, as if reading my mind. "You became withdrawn, Ana. The method allowed you two to become closer than you were with anyone else but it broke your bonds with the outside world."

"Does this…Bonding Method," I whispered. "Have any impact on our relationship?"

"It could," Dr. Flynn answered.

"How so?" Christian asked.

"It formed your friendship as children," Dr. Flynn explained. "Even after years of separation, the bond was still strong and very present. Christian spoke of you often, Anastasia, before you even reappeared back into his life."

"You're saying this method could have created our relationship, now?" I said shakily.

"It could have," Dr. Flynn nodded.

"No," Christian shook his head. "Dr. Flynn, I'm sorry but that isn't the case at all. I love Ana."

"Dr. Flynn," I cut in. "I understand what you are saying. That because of our 'bond', we are basically programmed to be with one another in the end. That our relationship was set in stone when we weren't even old enough to understand it and that may not be healthy for us."

"That's a very stimulating analysis, Anastasia. It is similar to my own."

"Thank you," I breathed. "But I have dated other men. Christian has…been with other women. We both did this before we ever became romantically involved. We had chanced, twelve years of dating, flirting and meeting others, to fall in love but we didn't. I'd like to think that we formed a friendship like any other couple does," I slid my hand into Christian's. "And then fell in love. We weren't shoved into anything."

"I'm glad you believe that, Ana," Dr. Flynn smiled. "I was just trying to shed some light on your question, though. Christian responds better to you, emotionally, because that is what Dr. Canter hoped to accomplish with the method's use. He is completely comfortable with you and won't be more relaxed with anyone other than yourself."

"Not even you? Or Elena?" I asked to Dr. Flynn, not Christian.

"Ah, Elena," Dr. Flynn chuckled. "I heard you gave Mrs. Lincoln quite the beat down, Ms. Steele."

"She had it coming," I deadpanned, sending both Christian and Dr. Flynn into a fit of loud laughter.

"Although I don't condone the use of violence, from what I hear," his glance stayed on Christian for a moment. "Elena did have it coming."

"Can we move on from this subject?" Christian asked, knowing how heated I could get about that woman.

"Yes," Dr. Flynn nodded. "Anastasia, do you have anymore questions."

"A few more, yes," I pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Go on."

I scrunched my nose up from frustration, trying my hardest to gather the question into words.

"Christian and I…" I paused, taking in a deep breath.

"Yes?"

"We are both so damaged," I said quietly.

"You've both been through a tremendous amount of suffering, yes. But you are not damaged, Anastasia."

"We're getting married, Dr. Flynn," I smiled brightly, looking to Christian with watery eyes. "Something I never thought would happen to me."

"It's a great accomplishment," he nodded.

"I know," I nodded, looking to the man I loved so dearly. "It's a steppingstone that I can't wait to walk over. But after marriage there are other stepping stones we have to overcome and I don't know if I'll ever be ready to cross those stones."

"You're speaking of children?"

"Yes," I nodded, my tone clipped as Christian stiffened beside me.

"You're apprehensive about having them?"

"Very."

"Why?"

I paused, trying to think as clearly as I could.

"Neither Christian or I had parents that could set an example for us until the damage was done. Until the example was already permanently engrained into our minds. With the example that was set for me, a mother who neglected me and only cared for herself, what kind of mother could I become? How do I know I won't create a person with the same issues that Christian and I suffer with every day?"

"You don't, Ana," Dr. Flynn said, smiling at me softly. "Being a parent is something instinctual, not necessarily learnable. Sure, there are books on parenting but every child, every parent is different. We can never be sure that we won't screw something up but you have to try your hardest. Try to be the best parent you can be. Neither your mother or Christian's attempted to even try. Whether it be because they were both very young or because they were just not fit to be parent's, I have no idea. Your parent's actions won't be your own unless you make them your own. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I guess I'm just looking for some approval in a way."

"To become a mother?" Dr. Flynn asked.

"A suitable mother," I breathed. "Yes."

"You don't need someone's approval, Ana. It will just happen."

"What if it doesn't?" I asked. "What if we never have children?"

"Will you be alright with that?" he asked.

"I have Christian," I whispered. "I don't need anything else."

"Christian?" Dr. Flynn turned to him.

"I feel the same," Christian nodded.

"The two of you are both so young," Dr. Flynn sighed. "Children shouldn't have children and in many ways the both of you are still children. I believe that the both of you would be fine without them, but children are a blessing. Take your time and think on it. You don't have to have children the moment you say 'I do.". You have one another and you have time."

"Thank you, Dr. Flynn."

We spoke some more after that, a few questions being thrown then answered. It was as if Dr. Flynn understood both Christian and I in ways that many didn't. It was incredible yet terrifying and I loved every moment of it.

…

"I'm so tired," I said, kicking off my enormous heels as soon as we walked into the penthouse.

"I know," Christian hummed, fathering me up into his arms bridal style. "I'm sorry I woke you up so early."

"It's alright," I yawned, pressing my cheek into his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"Are you going to carry me around like this all day?" I giggled.

"Possibly," Christian smirked. "It might be a bit longer than just for today."

"Okay," I smiled. "Whatever you say, Mr. Grey."

"I can't wait to pass out," Christian sighed heavily as he strode up the stairs with me in his arms.

"You?" I scoffed. "Sleep? In the middle of the day?"

"You wore me out, Ms. Steele," Christian smiled.

"I know," I teased, punching his shoulder gently. "We can pass out together."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Are we doing anything tonight?"

"Mia said she wanted to come over and talk over some wedding things."

"You can take that one," I rolled my eyes.

"What? Why?"

"I'm kind of scared of Mia when she's in wedding mode. Aren't I supposed to be the Bridezilla, or whatever it's called?"

"Do you want to be a Bridezilla?" Christian chuckled.

"No, I'm good," I snorted. "I think Mia's got that role down pretty well. And she isn't even the one getting married."

"My sister's a handful," Christian said as we reached the second level.

"You can say that again."

"I'm sorry if things aren't turning out the way you wanted them to."

"Everything is beautiful, Christian. It's just…I'd like to put some of me into my own wedding."

"I'll talk to Mia about it."

"Thank you," I kissed his jaw gently.

He chuckled, opening the door to the bedroom. It wasn't until the soft click of a gun disrupted the still silence of the room that Christian put me on my feet, holding me close to him. Christian flicked the light on, revealing the barrel of a gun starring the both of us down.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Steele."

Oh shit...who is it? What's going to happen? Stupid cliffhangers...:P

Reviews are welcome!

-fighter