A/N: Sorry this chapter is a little late. And there might be some more errors that I didn't catch. We had a huge brush fire yesterday. About an acre got burned. Fortunately, it was just leaves that burned. No damage to our house, cars, or sheds. I'm a little sore from running back and forth carrying 5 gallon buckets of water while my husband used the hose. Still coughing from the smoke inhalation, but we're very lucky. Then I had to put out a spot that was still burning this morning. I'm going to double check this chapter in a few days and will fix any errors that I missed. I'm a little brain dead right now so I hope you still enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 34

Merry Men lined the driveway to allow Ranger and Stephanie to slide into the garage without being hassled by the mob. Tank exited the elevator as they parked the car.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, Babe," Ranger told her.

"When did the results come back? I missed the announcement," Tank said.

"Come with me to meet with Juniak," Ranger instructed. "There's a leak. Juniak thinks it was someone at the lab, but at this point, I don't trust anyone."

Ranger kissed Stephanie goodbye.

"Lula could sure use some company," Tank suggested. "She's getting' a little stir crazy."

"Sounds better than listening to these reporters talking about me carrying Jimmy Hoffa's love children," Stephanie agreed with a deep sigh. "Now I just need to convince my mother that these are yours".

Stephanie found Lula styling her hair when she let herself into Tank's apartment.

"Feeling better I see."

"I'm gettin' myself presentable to address my fans. I been tweetin' and Facebookin' like crazy. People want to hear about me gettin' shot in the ass."

Stephanie cringed. "Lula…I don't think that's a good idea. It's a total mob seen down there. And they're already making up all these outrageous lies."

"Exactly, White Girl," Lula told her. "You gotta set them mother fuckers straight. If you don't say nothin', they gonna make it up anyway. Just like you carryin' that dead mother fucker's kids. That's almost as bad them sayin'….one of the victims was a large, black woman. I ain't large. Them mother fuckers don't get nothing right."

Lula had a point. She didn't do anything wrong…except buy that stupid car. Maybe she should just tell the media her side of the story. It was so boring and uninteresting that they would probably leave her alone.

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Stephanie said finally. "I mean…I just bought a used car. I didn't know it came with Jimmy Hoffa."

"Now you finally gettin' with the program," Lula replied.

She gave herself a final once over then turned to face Stephanie.

"Well…how do I look?"

Lula had blown out her hair before straightening it. Her make-up looked conservative…well conservative for Lula. Her outfit? Well that could be an issue. The bright yellow tee shirt read…I Got Shot In The Ass By Some Punk-Ass Mother Fucker. Not exactly a media-friendly slogan, but she couldn't imagine Lula without something colorful.

"Well…you sure will get attention," Stephanie said.

Lula gave her outfit a glance. "Do you want me to do your make-up? You lookin' a little underdressed for TV."

Stephanie shook her head. "I'll be fine."

Ranger expressly told her not to leave the building alone. Did standing out front fall under that? Maybe it would be a good idea to have Lester and Bobby out there, too.

"I'm going to run up to the Control Room," she told Lula. "I think we should have some back up."

"Good thinkin', White Girl," Lula agreed. "I know they all gonna want a piece of Lula. It'll be just like Whitney House in that movie The Bodyguard."

Then Lula broke into a horrible rendition of I Will Always Love You. Stephanie held her ears as she escaped from the God-awful screeching. And here she thought nothing could ever sound worse than that Bigfoot mating call.

The Control Room buzzed with heavy activity. Tank recalled several contract workers. Ram and Woody had been relieved, and four others had taken over Morelli watch at the hospital. Bobby barked instructions while Lester organized the shift schedules for bodyguard duty.

Lester smiled when he noticed Stephanie get off the elevator. "Hey, Beautiful!"

He jumped up and pulled her into a bear hug. "You're a miracle worker. I haven't gotten any phone calls or religious shit on my phone since you set Xylia straight. I owe you big-time for this!"

Stephanie bit her lower lip. Yeah…she set Xylia straight by telling her that Lester was so not straight. She needed to come clean and tell him the truth. But not now. He looked so happy that she didn't have the heart to burst his bubble.

"Um…I need a favor," she began.

"Anything…just name it."

"Lula and I are going to give a statement to the press. Would you and Bobby just come down there with us?"

Lester's cheerful expression immediately transformed to one of horror. She imagined he would have the same look when he found out he was gay.

"Uh…I don't know…," he stammered. "Did Ranger say that was okay?"

"They are making up stuff about me. I think it's important to tell them what happened. Which is really nothing," she insisted. "Please?"

"What's up?" Bobby interrupted.

"Steph and Lula are going to hold a press conference downstairs," Lester informed him.

Bobby donned a similar look of horror.

"Did…"

Stephanie cut him off before he could finish. "I'm a grown woman, Bobby. I can make my own decisions. I am not going anywhere alone. That's what Carlos asked me to do. I'm asking for you guys to come downstairs with us. If you don't want to, I'll ask someone else."

She hated getting bitchy with Bobby and Lester. After a while, it got old being second guessed or having to ask permission all the time.

Bobby and Lester exchanged glances.

"Okay…if Ranger rakes us over the coals for this, I expect you to go to bat for us," Bobby joked.

"He won't be mad," she lied with her fingers crossed behind her back.

Lester smirked. "Yeah…right."

Bobby rounded up Ram and Woody along with Hal to make sure Stephanie and Lula had protection.

All cameras focused on Stephanie and Lula as the men in black escorted them through the front doors of Rangeman. Lula raised her hands to quiet the crowd.

"All a' youz shut the fuck up for a second," Lula bellowed. "We got somethin' to say. I'm gonna go first."

"First, I want to thank the Trenton PEE-DEE. I heard they caught one of them mother fuckers right away. Now you got to realize…that's a compliment comin' from me. I ain't got no use for cops. But they did all right. Second…which one of you mother fuckers call me a large, black woman?"

Lula paused to glare at the crowd as she shook her fist.

"I'll beat the ever-lovin' shit outta anybody that makes fun of all this fabulousness. I'm a lady, God damn it, and I got shot in the ass. I mean what kind a mother fucker shoots a lady in the ass anyways? My ass felt like it was on fire, and one a' you people gonna start makin' fat black jokes?"

"We want to hear from BIO-MOM!" a reported called out. "Can you tell us why you had Jimmy Hoffa's body in your car?"

"Do you have any knowledge about who killed Hoffa?"

"Were you paid money to help hide his body?"

"God damn!" Lula whined as the attention focused to Stephanie. "Those are some rude-ass people. I was tellin' my side of the story, and they want to talk about some dead guy. Who cares about him anyways? It's not like he can do nothin' now. He didn't get shot in the ass."

Bobby shrugged as he tried to conceal his smile. "To them, the shooting was old news. Jimmy Hoffa is hot right now."

Eddie barged into Juniak's office. "Chief! You gotta turn on your TV. You're not going to believe this!"

Juniak pointed the remote at the TV. Ranger and Tank turned towards the screen.

"What channel?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Doesn't matter…just pick one."

Juniak turned to a local Trenton station. Stephanie stood outside the front doors of Rangeman giving an interview to what looked like two hundred reporters.

"Shit," Ranger muttered as he leaned forward.

Stephanie motioned to the crowd to settle down. "I just want to set the record straight about a few things myself. For all those idiots that think I had anything to do with Jimmy Hoffa's death….hello! He like went missing before I was born. I just bought used car because mine kept getting destroyed. That's it."

"Didn't you notice the smell?"

"Well…yeah…but there was a dead squirrel in the car. So…like…I thought that was it," she explained.

"Who did you get the car from?"

"I…uh…gave that information to the police. I don't know if I should give you his name."

"BIO-MOM…are you associated with any of the New Jersey crime families?"

"Is it true that you used Hoffa's sperm?"

Stephanie gagged. "That's so gross! I just bought a used car, and there was a body in the trunk. That's it. Stop making up those stupid stories, or I'll sue you for slander…or libel…or defamation…whatever you call it! I'll sue you for something! Nothing else happened. That's all I wanted to say."

What a stupid idea, she internally groaned. Ranger would probably kill her when he found out what she did. Why did she let Lula talk her into these harebrained schemes anyway?

"Are you Lester Santos?" a report asked as he shoved a microphone into Lester's face.

Lester frowned. "Yeah…why?"

"The Lester Santos that was in the military?"

A small crowd of reporters swarmed around him. Ram and Woody tried to hide their smiling faces while Bobby attempted to herd Stephanie and Lula back inside the building.

"Yeah…so?"

"What do you think about the government trying to repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell?"

"Are you more at peace with yourself since you came out?"

"When are you going to perform as Leslee again?"

The reporter held up his smartphone and showed Lester picture of him in his distraction get-up. Lester's eyes almost popped out of his head as his jaw hit the sidewalk.

"Where the fuck did you get this?"

He snatched the phone out of the reporter's hand and immediately deleted the offending evidence.

"When did you first realize that you were gay?"

Lester froze. Gay? What the fuck? How could anyone in his right mind think he, Lester Santos, was gay?

Stephanie grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door. "Forget about them, Lester. I don't know where they get this stuff from."

Reporters continue to shout out questions for Lester and Stephanie as they locked the front doors behind them.

"Why the hell would they think I'm gay?" Lester wondered with a frown. "I mean…do I come off as gay?"

Stephanie rapidly shook her head. "Not at all. I…uh…think they're just jealous of you. You're so good-looking that they just wish you were gay."

Lester straightened. He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah, Beautiful…you're probably right. I mean…look at me. Who wouldn't want to be me?"

Stephanie shot Ram and Woody a death glare. Their goofy-assed expressions gave the culprits away. Swell. Not only did Xylia, Joe, Hal, Ram, and Woody know about Lester's coming out, now all of Trenton did too! Lester might have forgiven her if nobody knew about it. She had about a snowball's chance in hell of getting his forgiveness now. Funny she should use hell as a reference…that was exactly where she would wind up.

As Stephanie, Lester, and Lula waited for the elevator, Lester's phone buzzed.

"Santos….yeah, she's right here."

He handed her his phone. She didn't have to ask…she knew it was Ranger. Stephanie quickly disconnected and handed it back to a wide-eyed Lester.

"Uh…you do know who you hung up on…right?"

Stephanie nodded and sighed. "Yeah…but I need some chocolate cake first."

Ranger found Stephanie under the covers. "Is there a reason that you hung up on me?"

"Um…I didn't hang up. I think there was something wrong with Lester's phone," she lied.

Ranger chuckled as he slid under the blankets to face her.

"Babe."

"Are you mad?"

He shook his head as he drew her to him. "No. But I think you could brush up on your public speaking skills."

"Lula said she was going to talk to the reporters. She said that they were making stuff up because we haven't said anything. Somehow…that really made sense. I'm sorry…how bad did I screw up this time?"

Ranger kissed her. "You were perfect."

Stephanie frowned. "Huh?"

"If the press doesn't get their subject to answer questions, they make stuff up to draw people out. Most people want to set the record straight," Ranger explained. "Works most of the time. I was going to set up a press conference, but you beat me to it."

"I really didn't have anything exciting to tell them."

"We knew that…but they didn't. They would have kept hounding you until they had something to report. I hope it takes off some of the heat on you. I don't want you to be a prisoner here."

"I think I got eclipsed by Lula and Lester anyway."

Ranger started to shake again. Lula's speech made him smile, but Lester's interview almost split his sides again.

"He asked me if he came off as gay," she admitted glumly. "I couldn't tell him the truth. Even though he asked…I still didn't tell."

Ranger lost it.

"You're no help," Stephanie groaned as she left the hysterical man under the blankets and hurried to the bathroom.

After a couple of days, the media frenzy died down. Morelli continued to improve, so his doctor transferred him to a regular room. Terri Gilman informed Stephanie that the Genoveses also began to calm down when they discovered nothing found at the scene would implicate them in Hoffa's murder. As promised, Stephanie never ventured outside the building without Ranger or a Merry Men entourage.

Occasionally, a reporter would pop up unexpectedly or attempt to follow the black SUVs. It appeared as if all of Trenton held its breath waiting to see what happened next.

Stephanie ran a search on Annemarie. She had been transferred to Trenton because of a sexual harassment case. Stephanie couldn't access the closed file. Did Joe know about this? Maybe that was the reason for Annemarie's mood swings? Her situation must have been pretty bad for her move an hour away and start a new job. Valerie's dancing in the door to her cubicle pulled her out of her musings.

"You okay, Val?" Stephanie asked. "You look like you have to pee. Do you need the key to 7?"

"No! It's not that," Valerie replied. "I wanted to talk to you about your apartment. The lease is up in a couple of months. I've got enough money saved, and I wanted to start looking for something bigger. We'd have to give a 30 day notice if you're not going to renew."

The thought of giving up her apartment hit Stephanie like a ton of bricks. That apartment had been the first place that was truly hers. It had always been a safe haven. No matter what happened, she could always go home.

The fear of Ranger leaving her or tossing her out on the street no longer existed. But could she get rid of the one thing that had been a constant for her these past few years? This had nothing to do with her commitment to Ranger. Actually, it had everything to do with her.

"Steph?"

She looked up at Valerie and swallowed hard. "When you find something, I'll call Dylan, okay?"

Valerie excitedly hopped up and down. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me and the girls. But we need more space. And…"

Valerie turned five different shades of red. She didn't need to continue. Valerie wanted her own room, so she could have sex with Hal. Stephanie certainly couldn't blame her. Valerie finally had a man in her life that treated her like she should have been treated by her needle-dick husband.

"I understand, Val. That place is fine…for one person. I think it's time to let it go. Let me know if you want me to go…." Stephanie frowned as she trailed off. "Are you looking for an apartment or a house?"

"Well…I don't think I'll be able to afford to buy a house right now, but I guess I'm looking to rent a house or an apartment," she told her. "Something with at least 2 bedrooms, in a safe neighborhood with good schools, and roach free."

"This is Trenton, Val…roaches come with the territory."

Upon hearing the news that the Genoveses no longer had Morelli on their radar, Ranger lifted his Morelli visiting restrictions for Stephanie. As long as she had one of his men with her, she could visit Morelli whenever. Stephanie's concern for him eased as Morelli continued to improve. She had cut her visits to once a day. Shit, Morelli had been so bored out of his mind that he even appreciated him being there.

Ranger refused to let his guard down even though things appeared to be settling down. The Trenton PD still hadn't been able to track down the person that ordered the hit. He suspected that person meant to place the suspicion on the Genoveses.

Stephanie's search on Annemarie turned up a sexual harassment suit. He called Raoul to see if he could ask his former co-workers if they had heard anything. Ranger didn't find it unusual for the file to be closed due to the sensitive nature of the case. What it did tell him was that both parties reached an agreement. But why was Annemarie the one who got transferred?

Stephanie kept her visits with Morelli to the afternoons. It made it easier to avoid Annemarie. Besides…Mrs. Morelli brought tons of food since he had been given the green light to eat. Mrs. Morelli gave her mother and Ella competition when it came to cooking. And…she never showed up without bringing cannoli and butter cookies from the Tasty Pasty either!

Stephanie glanced at the clock after she finished pulling contracts that needed review. Three thirty. She still had time for a quick visit. She gave the contracts to Valerie.

"I'm going to see who's available, and then go visit Joe," she told her.

"Oh…I almost forgot!"

Valerie jumped up and ran into the break room. A few seconds later, she returned with a small bakery box.

"Mary Alice and Angie made Joe some cupcakes," Valerie said. "Mary Alice thinks Joe calls you 'Cupcake' because he loves cupcakes. We baked these last night, and the girls decorated them. Can you take them with you?"

Stephanie smiled. "Why don't you come with me? I'll ask Hal to take us there."

Valerie thought for a moment as she scanned the items her desk. "Um…okay. I can save this for tomorrow."

"He'll be glad to see you. He's getting a little stir crazy being locked up. The doctors said he might be able to go home next week. Oh Val…I can't tell you how relieved I am that he's doing so well. And I'll be so glad when all this madness calms down," Stephanie sighed.

"Was your life this crazy before you met Carlos?" Valerie asked.

Stephanie frowned at the thought. "You know…come to think of it…no. I mean weird things always seemed to find me, but nothing like this stuff had ever happened to me before. And all this time…I thought it was me. You're right…it's all Carlos' fault."

They both giggled.

"What's my fault, Babe?"

Stephanie and Valerie both jumped as they gasped.

"Stop doing that!" Stephanie whined as she playfully swatted his arm.

"Why do I get the feeling that you 2 are up to no good?" He gave them a sly smile.

"Mary Alice and Angie made some cupcakes for Joe. I was just going to ask Hal to take us over there." A little fib but the partial truth cancelled it out.

"Tell him I said hello." Ranger gave her a quick peck and sauntered back to his office.

Lula wandered into the Control Room. She made another tee shirt with her new slogan in bright orange. Her hobble had lessoned when no one appeared to be looking. With an audience, one would have believed that Lula had been shot with a cannon. Stephanie had a strong feeling that Lula would be a more permanent fixture at Rangeman.

"Can I go with you to see Morelli?" she pleaded. "I'm so desperate to get the fuck outta here for a while, I'll even go visit a cop."

Why not, Stephanie thought to herself. Morelli craved visitors, so this would be about even. She also thought Lula might have gotten wind of all the goodies Mrs. Morelli brought to the hospital as well.

"Yeah," she replied. "Just don't bring any weapons. And you might want to change your shirt."

"Change my shirt? What's wrong with it? I want people knowing' what happened." Lula really looked a little offended.

"Well…Joe's mom and grandmother might be there. Some people might find the wording to be a little…uh…harsh."

"Yeah," Valerie chimed in. "You wouldn't want Grandma Bella giving you the eye."

"What the fuck is the eye?" Lula asked.

"It's like a curse. If she gives you the eye…bad things happen," Stephanie added.

"No shit?" Lula's eyes widened. "You mean like she could make Tank's dick shrink or somethin'?"

Valerie nodded. "Or even worse…it could fall off."

"Oh hell no! I'm gonna change this mother fucker right now. I'll be right back. I ain't gonna let nothin' happen to my favorite toy."

Lula practically ran to the elevator.

"Are you sure that it's a good idea to let Lula come with us?" Valerie wondered.

Stephanie shrugged. "No…it's a terrible idea. But if Mrs. Morelli brings those butter cookies, any trouble that Lula gets into will be worth it."