08/27/2014

Out of Hand by relativelypositive

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I make no money from the use of J.K. Rowling's characters.

Chapter 36

"Fred and I are going to the portrait room. Anyone care to join us?" George inquired after everyone finished eating.

Hermione jumped up excitedly, but Malfoy grabbed her hand before she could follow the group out.

"Hey, let's just talk for a little while, okay?"

He seemed like he thought she'd tell him no, like he was expecting her to reject this small overture. She wondered why he would feel that way. She hadn't said no to him at all the last couple days.

They'd barely talked alone, and when they did she thought they were very good at being succinct. They were both somewhat plain talkers, saying what they meant and meaning what they said.

"Sure. Library?" Hermione knew suggesting the library was a bit of a risk, but she felt comfortable in the cozy room.

To her surprise and pleasure, Malfoy nodded and kept hold of her hand as she guided him to the correct door.

Zabini was holding the door open for them, thinking they were coming into the portrait room as well. When she shook her head and instead led Malfoy to another door, Blaise smirked and Hermione knew he was going to make a catcall or something, but he stopped. He was looking at Malfoy, and something that caught his attention made him change his mind.

Hermione looked up at Malfoy to find him looking back at her with a little smile. Not a smirk. A smile.

Oh. She liked that.

When she turned back around Zabini had shut the door. She silently thanked him for not doing anything that would make her feel awkward. She vowed to really thank him later.

She opened the door and felt a wave of calm wash over her. It had the feeling of home. She smiled widely and ran her fingers lovingly over the empty shelves as she passed them.

"The twins really outdid themselves. This feels like the library at Hogwarts. You must love it."

"I really do."

"The Malfoy library is nothing to be sniffed at. I suppose the likelihood of you seeing it is pretty remote, though."

"Malfoy, taunting me with a library I can't peruse? That's mean," she smiled to show she was joking, and plopped down on a dusky green couch.

He followed and sat a little closer than she expected him to. It shouldn't surprise her, since he'd been so touchy feely for the last couple hours, but it did. After the complete disaster that was this afternoon's attempt at getting closer, she was a little shy about touching him.

Even though she knew it wasn't true, her mind kept telling her that he was going to reject her again. But he kept touching her.

"You're going to think I want to do this for nefarious reasons, but I want you to sit in my lap."

"Nefarious? You? No. Why would I ever think that?" Hermione laughed a little and Malfoy started guiding her towards him.

The awkwardness Hermione was afraid of hit with a vengeance as she stood and turned, thinking she'd sit in his lap, while he tried to guide her forward to straddle his lap.

Malfoy got his way, though Hermione knew she hadn't put up a fight. Because of their height differences, she was now almost level with him.

"That's better." Malfoy put his hands lightly on her waist, but didn't pull her in. She struggled for a moment with where to put her own hands before clasping them lightly together between them.

"Malfoy, I'm sorry about Goyle. What do you want to do? Do you want to try to save him somehow? Is there a way?"

"I don't know if there's anything that can be done. I'd like him to be back at Hogwarts, where he's safe and everyone knows he's supposed to be. If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing you don't gather attention. The worst thing we could do would be to try to save him. It would just point out that he's not as loyal to the cause and he'd probably get killed for it."

"The idea of doing nothing feels wrong."

"Well, in this case it's the best option. He's a good guy. He's always been softer than the rest of us. I can't believe he's already got the Mark."

The two lapsed into silence as they thought about Gregory Goyle for a few minutes more.

"Malfoy?" Hermione waited until he acknowledged her before continuing. "I think I have an idea. You're not going to like it."

She watched his face carefully to be sure he was paying attention.

"Anything that could get us out of this engagement I'm not going to like."

"Well, what are you thinking?"

"I've already given up my planned future, and that isn't enough. I need a way to make the Dark Lord not want me on his side anymore."

"What if you declared yourself against him publically? Essentially said that if they didn't leave you alone you'd spill all the secrets you knew to Professor Dumbledore or Minister Scrimgeour."

"Then I'd become even more of a target than I already am. The only thing that keeps me relatively safe is that the ties have yet to be cut between my family and me. Once they're gone I'm considered the enemy."

"What if you vowed to remain neutral?"

"Would that be a possibility being married to you?"

Hermione smiled. "Probably not."

"You know, if I thought it would save your life, I'd find a way to undo this engagement," Malfoy said gravely. "I don't want to, but I would. Then I'd wait for the first possible opportunity to re-engage myself to you in safety."

"That's sweet? I think? Well, your father wouldn't be trying to kill me anymore, right? That would be a plus."

"The damage is done, Hermione. I declared myself to my mother. She wouldn't keep that from him, even to save my life. She doesn't care about yours. I'm sorry, but it's just the truth."

"How do people become like that? I can't imagine what your childhood was like."

"Mostly privilege, with little bouts of terror. My parents love me, Hermione. It may seem like they don't, but that's because they were raised to be formal."

"How did you not end up the same way?"

"I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"But—"

"Hermione! I am! Before this week, did I ever talk to you? Really talk to you?"

"No, but I'm a Mudblood. I wouldn't have expected you to."

"Don't be a bitch. I didn't just not talk to you; I didn't talk to anyone unless they were a close friend or a professor. If everyone I ever had a real conversation with were sitting at a single table in the Great Hall, we'd all be able to shake hands without leaving our seats. I have a few really fucking good friends, a few followers in Slytherin, and my parents. That is my whole life."

Hermione thought his life sounded a lot like her own, except her parents were warm, funny, and slightly crazy.

"We are a lot alike, you know."

"I know. I've always known. And it always pissed me off."

"Funny, I always thought we were about as different as people could be. I'm surprised, but happy, you know?"

"Hermione, we have to find a solution. We can't hide here indefinitely."

"I'm pretty sure we could. There are doors they didn't even point out. Wanna bet one is a supermarket?"

"Supermarket? I know what a market is. What makes it super?"

Hermione tried to keep her smile hidden, but being so close to each other she just couldn't.

"It's just really big."

"Oh, then I have something super."

Hermione snorted out a laugh. "I'm sure you do. Let's get back on track, Malfoy."

"Fine. My parents think that if they can get rid of you I'll fall back in line. I need them to understand that I've changed. I'm never going to become a Death Eater. If something happened to you, I'd probably abstain from the fight altogether. Travel indefinitely. Move to Australia or America, try learning a bit about Muggles."

"That sounds wonderful right now. That freedom."

"Yeah. But first, let's figure this out. So, in my mind, we need to make my parents understand that they've lost me. Next…the Dark Lord."

"Ugh…let's just kill him already."

Their eyes locked and held for a full minute as their minds whirled.

"Is that the solution?"

"Is it even possible?"

"We'd have to find him first."

"Not a problem."

"What, is he at your house?" Hermione laughed.

Malfoy didn't laugh.

"Sometimes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He'll just come back."

Draco watched Hermione debate with her best friend. If he didn't know better he'd think they were fucking. All the little touches and smiles were making him so jealous it was hard to concentrate.

"Well, then we'll kill him again."

"You make it sound like it's no big deal."

"Wait, how can he come back?"

"He split his soul."

"What? How do you know that?"

"Dumbledore's told me a few things."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I don't tell you everything!"

"But this was really important!"

"Fine, I'm sorry! Ron doesn't know, either."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Doesn't it?"

Hermione stopped arguing for a moment and thought about it.

"You're right, it does. Anyway, you're telling me that we can't kill Voldemort?"

"Not permanently."

"But we could kill him temporarily, right? How much time would that buy us?"

"I just don't know."

"Well, last time it took him thirteen years of essentially living as a parasite before he could be 'reborn,' but this time his followers would know that when he says he'll be resurrected he can make it happen."

"Shit, that's right," Draco agreed. "My parents were shocked when they found out the Dark Lord had really come back. This time they would be ready. They wouldn't let their faith lapse again. They'll be watching and planning."

"So at best thirteen years' respite, at worst…a couple years? I think it's worth it."

"All right. I'm in. Zabini?" Draco asked his best friend, praying that he'd agree.

"Yeah. If we take the fucker out it won't only benefit you two, you know."

"Yeah," said one of the twins, "The whole world can go back to normal."

"Does anyone not want to kill him?" asked Hermione.

Silence. Everyone stared at her.

"Good. Let's get a good night's sleep, then spend tomorrow planning."

Everyone started towards the sleeping quarters.

Draco felt Hermione grab his hand again and he stopped abruptly.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah. Um…"

Draco watched a beautiful blush bloom in her cheeks. He didn't want to discourage her, so he tried not to smirk.

"Library?" he asked.

She nodded. He let her lead the way, since he still didn't know which door it was.

"I just want to sleep," she declared when they made it back to the couches.

"So do I," he lied in reply.

He pulled her down onto the farthest couch from the door.

He touched her flaming cheeks.

"This is good. Let's sleep."

She nodded, and kissed him tentatively. Draco felt his magic careen through his body with joy. This was good.

He deepened the kiss for just a moment, then pulled away.

They smiled at each other awkwardly.

Draco turned her so that her body fit into his and reclined.

Sleep.

A/N:

Thank you to Hilda9Achillius9Fitra, ASJS, brighteyes2889, Tar-Silmarien, Oretmo, KodeV, viola1701e, giada, and eliza6801. Sometimes they make me think, sometimes they make me laugh, and sometimes I just roll my eyes. But I appreciate them all. Thanks for taking the time to review.