Author's note: Hello, Iluvlobsters, just wanted to say that I pride myself in Spike characterizations, I work really hard on making the characters seem real, and at this point all Buffy and Spike are going to be a little different from the show. After everything that's happened to them This is how I think they would react. So, I just wanted to clarify that to anyone-Buffy and Spike are MEANT to be a little OOC. Its all part of my silly, evil character develoupment plan. :)

Chapter XXXV - Back at the Manor

They dragged the Werewolf back to Wescott Manor. Thankfully, it remained conked out throughout the process. By the time they got there, Rosemary and Alex had prepared where the werewolf would be spending the night. They decided the indoor tennis courts would be the ideal place space to roam, far from everything and could be locked down completely-with windows too high to reach.

The rest of the night was uneventful and Buffy spent her time sitting in her room thinking. She had already fed William and her son was now sleeping peacefully in his cradle. Some say traitors are found in idle hands, the same can be said about idle minds.

Buffy had nothing to think about nothing or to worry about and her thoughts drifted back to the place that she had not allowed herself to really think about in a year.

What was going on in Sunnydale? How were her friends?

And suddenly a million unbidden thoughts sounded in her head. All about the one place in the whole world that she couldn't go. With all her money, with everything she had gained, the one place inaccessible to her was the one place she desperately wanted to go. She couldn't even call them to see if they were alright. Surely the mad-Doctors were watching them. Screening calls in search of her, Spike and William.

But she couldn't help it.

How was her mother?

How were the Scoobs?

What was going on with Dawn?

OH GOD!

Glory!

what had happened with Glory? How did they stop her? Did she get them? Wouldn't that be on the news? With the world kinda ending, she hoped so. Seeing as how the globe kept turning and J.Lo kept getting married, Glory hadn't won.

Had she?

Giles? How was he? The last time she had seen him what had she said to him?

Well, at least that was a happy memory. Her mother's surgery was a success. That was nothing to worry about.

And Riley? Even if he did go with the-she didn't want to think about it... but what had happened? How were they dealing?

It had been an entire year that she was gone, more probably, she had put these thoughts away from so long. Shut them in a little box to be forgotten, and then suddenly, the box was smashed and every thought, everything that had been kept there flew out. Before she knew it, Buffy was on her bed crying her eyes out.

She just sat there, for an unknown amount of time, feeling horrible about herself. God, she had to almost physically restrain herself from reaching out and grabbing the telephone and calling everyone just to talk to them... tell them she was okay.

Tell them that she wasn't dead.

But she couldn't do that

It was too risky.

It was a good thing William had been sleeping soundly, all night for a while now, other wise he would have been awoken by Buffy's heaving sobs, and then given some heaving sobs of his own.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

Buffy's head snapped up.

"Go 'way!" she cried before burying her face in her pillow. Maybe if she wallowed for a bit the wave of torment would just pass through.

There was a pause and then the door was suddenly opened.

Buffy glared into the soft, three hundred count Egyptian cotton sheets, only one person (read: vampire) in the entire world would have the nerve to enter her room. Especially without her permission

"Spike." she snapped "I am not in the mood."

When she looked up however, she saw Alex. Who froze as soon as she was faced with Buffy's anguished visage.

"Hey, Buffy." she said. "I know. I'm going. I'll just- I- I just wanted to take William to my room? I'll leave you alone I promise, -"

Buffy looked at her tiredly and then nodded.

Alex grimaced.

"Sorry, I-"

"Just go." Buffy insisted, she allowed her head to fall back onto the pillows and to let sadness take her again.

As soundlessly as she could, the damphyr wheeled her brother's cradle out of there. She had hesitated to enter at first but then, she realized that William might wake up and well, she figured getting her brother out of there would be the best course of action. Especially if Buffy needed to punch things out, or if Spike came around.

She closed the door to Buffy's sobs, it seemed that now that William was out of there, the slayer wasn't holding back. Alex sighed; she knew just what to do.

Speaking of Spike.

When a second knock Sounded at the door. Buffy let out a long suffering sich but eventually sounded a shaky "come in". She figured it might be Libby, one of the maids out to retrieve one of William's bottles or something else Alex might have forgot but was too freaked to return for.

She was wrong again.

She looked up to see Spike smirking, a smirk she wanted to knock of his face. But as soon as he took in her appearance, the smirk disappeared. Replaced by a look of concern that she had only seen once before. That day when she had found out about her mother.

She was still not used to this look, especially from Spike of all people. No matter how much they had been through together, She just couldn't bring herself to allow her weakness to show through. She knew she couldn't lie to Spike, she never could. But, she could try.

"Spike." She said. "Get out of here."

No response. Well, maybe she could appeal to his human side. Okay, it was a slim chance, but it was there.

"Please." She said as firmly as she could muster. "Just leave me alone."

As usual, however, he ignored her demand and her plea. Instead, he walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, careful to give her her space.

"What's the matter, Pet?" he asked gently.

Buffy looked up at him. Spike nearly recoiled. She had looked defeated not two minutes ago, now she just looked fierce.

"What's a matter?" she demanded. "What's a matter?"

She sat up. The mere expression on here face told Spike she was not to be mess with. So of course, he needed to.

If looks could kill... he mused to himself, silently happy that she had managed to get her fire back.

"My friends need me." she said. "That's the matter. Glory is in Sunnydale right now making Sunnydale into Sunnyhell probably as we speak and she's probably killed Dawn and it is all your fault! Because you kept me away from there and they clearly need me!"

Spike just let her rant (which went on for a good ́́ nother ten or so minutes.) he did not, however, listen to her as what she did was basically blame him for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life over the last year.

"-and-and-and-and why aren't you saying anything?" she finally demanded her arms on her shoulders. Her green eyes narrowed and her chin lifted. Her anguish dissipated and was replaced by sheer frustration anger and

Suddenly he grabbed her shoulders.

"Hey!" she cried. "What are you doing?"

She began to squirm and push using her slayer strength to do her best and try and wiggle her way out.

"Spike? What the hell do you think you're-"

She stopped abruptly at the look on his face. He wrestled with her and somehow managed to get her into a position where she was on his lap and she couldn't look away. She sat stoic, knowing that any resistance on her part would be futile at this point. Best find out what he wanted first.

"You've chattered on quite a bit, Slayer," he said. "'s high time to let someone else do the talking."

She glared at him and said nothing.

"Think about what you said, Slayer." the vampire told her. "Drawing attention to them will only make Lewis go after them, This Glory-bint they can handle, they're not ready for a surprise attack, yeah?"

She stared him; sometimes she forgot how astute Spike could be.

"And," he continued. "Blaming me isn't going to make everything suddenly better."

Her anger, the feeling that she had desperately tried to hold on to, evaporated switching her right back to sadness. She hated that he got her to do that.

"Then what will?" she asked, her voice was soft.

Spike sighed, then decided to bare a side of himself that he didn't show to just anyone.

"Just let go. Let go of all that anger, pet, and that bollocks that makes you think you've got to hold it in because that's just plain unhealthy." he said simply. "Sit here and have yourself a really good cry."

She stared at him incredulously.

"You don't need to be strong for everyone, love." He continued sincerely, "In fact, it's time you for you to get what you need instead of presenting to the world what it needs. And sometimes the strong-that's you, pet- need to be weak."

He pulled her into his arms, Buffy seemed seriously disturbed and then all of a sudden she realized what he was doing.

He was hugging her, and just like that: Poof! Hug over.

Like most of Spike's hugs or signs of affection it was there one second and gone the next.

"If you need me you know very well where to find me." He said and he smiled at her before getting up and walking to the door.

This confusion was the very last straw, the flood gates opened and suddenly Buffy was sobbing on her comforter. She could feel Spike try to reach his hand out, but she shook it off.

"Don't." she said.

He nodded and was about to turn on his head and leave when Buffy grabbed his wrist, making his stay next to her but not touching her. He complied, just standing there, close enough so that she would know that he was still there, but not touching her. Just being with her while she cried it all out. After about five minutes of sobbing and strangled crying, Buffy finally spoke.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

There was a small pause.

"You can go now."