"Merlin?" I looked up to see my mother's worried gaze and walked over to where she hovered in the doorway. "There's not enough room for us all… I've tried laying the blankets out in different ways but there's not enough room for four of us to sleep on one side of the curtain." She was worrying her lower lip and I couldn't help but giggle, the village is going to be attacked by bandits any day now and she's worried about sleeping arrangements?

"Mum it's fine, just put me in with Arthur." She raised one eyebrow at me, making me realise how bad that sounded. "Well Morgana can't very well sleep with him, she's a Lady and Gwen would be incredibly uncomfortable. There's only one bed; yours and I've slept beside Arthur many times on his ridiculous hunting trips." I explained, feeling my cheeks still heat up under her knowing gaze. I suppose its mother's intuition, to know exactly how your child thinks and feels but she didn't say it. She probably knew it was as impossible as I did. Besides even if Arthur wasn't a Prince, like he would ever feel that way about me anyway, he was still one of the most handsome men in Camelot even without his title, he could have his pick of any woman in the Kingdom.

"Well, I suppose it would be alright considering the circumstances and the fact there's only a curtain separating us all." She said it like it was a warning and left me stood outside it, a confused frown on my face.

"Everything okay?" Arthur asked from behind me and I turned to face him.

"Yes, just… my mother seems to be especially cryptic tonight." He chuckled at the confused frown that still donned my brow. "You don't mind us rooming together, do you? My mother was worried about space so…"

"That's fine, Merlin. As long as you don't try using me as your pillow again." He winked and I snorted a laugh, knowing my mother she'd probably have set us up to be top and tailing anyway and I was pretty sure his feet would be a lot less comfortable than his shoulder had been.

"Yeah well, you've spent a night sleeping in the dirt, rode for three hours and fought a bunch of bandits since then, something tells me your smell might put me off." I watched as his face turned disbelieving before mischief covered it. Oh no… Before I could move he grabbed me, stuffing my head under his arm and messing my hair.

"Stink, do I?" I couldn't help but squeal in surprise as he laughed, to be fair he didn't actually smell but I had to keep up my smartass remarks for fear of him thinking I'd gone soft. I tried elbowing him but he had me in a position where I could barely move, never mind get a hit in. The noise from our scuffling and laughter made my mother come out to see what was going on and the look on her face when she saw that I was being 'attacked' by the Prince was hilarious. She didn't seem to know what to make of the situation or what to do about it.

"Help." I tried, laughing harder as Arthur stopped messing with my hair to poke me in the ribs; it tickled. I watched as my mother just shook her head in amusement before going back inside.

"Looks like your mother isn't going to save you from the big bad Prince." He chuckled, continuing to drag me about like a rag doll.

"Thanks a lot!" I shouted at the closing door, just barely making out my mother laughing behind it.

After Arthur and I had finished fooling around we retreated to bed but not before being chewed out by old man Simmons who had been trying to sleep. It took a long time for our laughter to fade even after that. If anything, watching Prince Arthur get told off for 'indecent behaviour with a woman' made it even worse. My mother had just shaken her head at our silly antics before ordering us both to bed.

"You know; I don't think I've ever been shouted at so many times in one day before," Arthur whispered from his spot in the makeshift bed; I had been right about the whole top-and-tailing thing and to be honest, even though he hadn't smelt that bad in general his feet left much to be desired.

"That's one of the things about villages, it's like everyone's just one family; telling each other off, calling each other out on things, ordering other people's children around." I chuckled, remembering the number of times my mother had taken Will's unruly behaviour into her own hands. My thoughts turned sombre after that, trying to figure out what had happened between Will and myself to put us so much at odds with each other. The rest of my mother's hut was silent, everyone having fallen asleep ages ago, Arthur was quiet too for a time and I wondered if he had fallen asleep as well before his voice whispered down to me again.

"Have you always slept on the floor?" He asked. I supposed I hadn't really thought about it, the only time him having to sleep on the floor before being his one trip to the dungeons and his many hunting trips.

"Yeah. The bed I've got in Camelot is luxury by comparison." I answered. Already knowing that their beds were softer than anything I'd had the luxury of sleeping in from my many times sat on Morgana's and from changing Arthur's sheets so often.

"Must have been hard."

"Hm, it's like a rock," I replied, still thinking we were talking about my bed in Gaius' chambers.

"I didn't mean the ground, I meant… for you, it must have been difficult." Living in the village had its moments but I hadn't really known anything else before Camelot.

"Not really. I didn't know anything different. Life's simple out here," I explained trying to take away the pity I heard in his voice. I didn't need him to be reminded of where I came from, it was always clear I'd had nothing. Most servants did. "You eat what you grow and everyone pitches in together. As long as you've got food on the table and a roof over your head, you're happy."

"Sounds… nice." He replied and I couldn't help but laugh a little at the obvious lie.

"You'd hate it."

"No doubt." Well maybe if he'd been brought up like that he'd see what I meant but to go from living in a castle and all the benefits that came with his title to this? I doubt I'd see this place in the same way either. "Why did you leave?" My mother didn't give me much of a choice but it was more than that… I'd felt too different to ever fit in, in such a small place.

"Things just… changed." I answered, not really wanting to get into the nitty gritty of it all.

"How?" A lot of people started to suspect my Magick for a start… I must have been thinking about how to answer for too long because the next thing I knew Arthur was shoving his stinking foot in my face! "Come on, stop pretending to be interesting. Tell me." I shoved his foot away, not able to stop myself from smiling a little at his ungentlemanly behaviour.

"I just didn't fit in anymore." I doubted I ever had. "I wanted to find somewhere that I did."

"Had any luck?" I thought about that for a moment and I realised that even though I still had to hide my gifts I had found a place for myself in Camelot; I'd found good friends and a father figure and… I'd found my destiny. But did I fit in there?

"I'm not sure yet." I realised and felt Arthur move away from me, shifting so he was lying on his side; away from my own feet, not that they came up very far on him anyway.

"We'll start training the men tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. Get the candle." With his last order I sat up slightly, blowing the candle out before lying in the dark and thinking about what Will had said; maybe, maybe he was right. Maybe I was fooling myself into believing Arthur cared about me as more than a servant, that he may one day accept me for who I am. Maybe it would be for the best if I remained here; married Will, had kids just… existed in this small village that would lead me nowhere but to a world of sadness and longing. Would Arthur survive without me long enough to wear the crown? I listening to the sound of his breathing deepen as he began to drift off and eventually with the sound of his deep breathing and the warmth that emanated from his body I managed to quiet my thought, eventually feeling enough calm in myself to fall asleep too.

Arthur had been awake before me for once and had collected both our sets of armour, leaving them in our makeshift bedroom and waking me in the process before we ate our breakfast. Morgana was tightening her arm guards whilst I helped Arthur into his jacket and my mother and Gwen began clearing away the bowls that we'd left on the table.

"You still not learned how to dress yourself?" Morgana teased Arthur, catching my eye over his shoulder.

"You don't have a dog and fetch the stick yourself." I smacked him on the back of the head for that comment before I remembered who it was I'd just slapped. Maybe we were getting too familiar if I began to think it okay to hit the Prince… "No offence, Merlin," Arthur mumbled, going contrite.

"None taken." I chirped, just pleased to have gotten away it.

"Prince Arthur you didn't finish your breakfast." My mother cut in, handing him the still almost full bowl; he must have only had a couple of spoonfuls.

"Didn't I?"

"Come on; eat up." Morgana challenged and I turned my back so they wouldn't see my irritation; we had very little here, it was really nice of my mother to share what meagre supplies she did have and a part of me was ashamed at Arthur's unthankful behaviour but I also had to try and understand that compared to what they were used to, it would be unappetising, to say the least. I watched as Arthur pretended to eat more whilst my mother watched before passing it to Gwen who looked about as impressed as I was.

"Right let's get going; we need wood and lots of it." Arthur and Morgana were first out the door not waiting for me to finish tying my own boots, I'd been too busy helping Arthur with his clothes to get myself finished. I looked to see if Gwen was ready and watched as she finished Arthur's breakfast and passed the now clear bowl to my mother when she turned back around.

"Arthur said it was lovely." She smiled warmly at my mother before walking out the door with me.

"You didn't have to do that," I whispered after I shut the door to my mother's hut. I knew Gwen was as used to plain food as I was and it made me grateful to know that she wasn't judging this place like I was sure Arthur was.

"I didn't want her to be disappointed." She answered and I hugged her for her kindness briefly before passing her one of the axes we kept outside before she set off after Arthur and Morgana who were a little ways ahead on their way to the surrounding forest. My mother re-opened the door behind me to pass me the jacket of my own that I had forgotten.

"He must care for you a great deal." She noted, gesturing toward Arthur's retreating back.

"Arthur would do the same for any village, that's just the way he is." I shrugged, not willing to see any more in it than that. My mother had other ideas it would seem.

"It's more than that." She sounded slightly frustrated and I turned to look back at her, surprised at her disapproving tone. "He's here for you." I turned away from her, not willing to let myself hope anymore. Will had been right; maybe Arthur and I were friends but we would never be what my mother suspected, what she probably hoped.

"I'm just his servant," I responded, my voice slightly angry as I accepted the fact that Will had made a good point the day before.

"Give him more credit than that; he likes you."

"That's because he doesn't know me." If he did… then he would send me away. Providing he didn't hand me over to his father that was. Arthur had proven he didn't hate Magick as much as the King did but that didn't mean he trusted it. How could he think anything less with Uther constantly warning him of its dangers? "If he did I'd probably be dead by now." I shrugged, wondering what Arthur would actually do; if anyone else knew, like his father or the Knights, he wouldn't be given much of a choice.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" She asked, sadness filling her voice. It was as though she were beginning to pity me… I just shrugged and left. Not willing to think too much on it; Arthur didn't know and as long as I had a choice, he wouldn't for a long time. Not until his father was dead and he was the King. Not until he had learnt to accept Magick in others first. Only then would I feel it right to tell him. I just hoped he wouldn't hate me for keeping it a secret for so long.

The axe was heavy in my hand as I carried it up the steep incline to the more wooded areas, I had to smile lightly as memories of gathering wood as a child from this same spot surfaced to mind. Of course, back then I wasn't careful enough to use an axe.

"Merlin!?" I spun behind me at the familiar voice, not knowing what to expect as Will ran after me. "Where are you going with that thing?" He asked gesturing to where the axe hung loosely from my hand.

"What does it look like? We need wood." Well, he didn't; I was under no illusion that he was going to train with us. I didn't have time for this so I just carried on climbing the muddy hill.

"We both know you don't need an axe to fell a tree." I couldn't help but smirk at the shared memory.

"Yeah and I remember the trouble it got me into; I nearly flattened Old Man Simmons!" My voice went high at the memory as I spun back around, Will beginning to chuckle with me.

"Yeah well, he deserved it, the stupid old crone." I snorted, very unladylike but hey, I never did say I was perfect.

"Hm, he never did like me anyway," I remembered still half sniggering at his outrage both back then and last night with Arthur.

"Even less after that." I felt my smile begin to fall when I thought of Arthur and the confrontation Will and I had had about him. Why couldn't it just be like this, still? Us enjoying each other's company? Laughing with each other and standing up for each other like it used to be? Why did my being friendly with the Prince have to change any of that?

"Why are you being like this?"

"You know why." He answered as he walked up to join me by the log I was standing beside, sitting down, obviously intending this to be a longer chat than last nights had been. I decided to just sit down with him, I would need to gather wood soon but surely they'd have enough to work with for now with what they had gathered until I got back. We sat in silence for a while, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. "Why did you leave?" Will's voice sounded hurt and I turned to watch him, seeing the loneliness that had likely been slowly gathering in his eyes since those long months ago.

"It wasn't what I wanted." Not at the time, anyway. I hadn't wanted to leave my mother, or Will, or everything I had ever known back then but now? I had to believe my mother had been right to send me away. I was happy in Camelot. Most of the time, anyway. "My mother was worried," I continued, afraid we would lapse back into silence. It had never been like this between us before; there'd never come a time when neither of us knew what to say. Maybe if he'd admitted to loving me, something I had seen so clearly in this eyes back then, this would have come sooner. "She found out you knew! She was so angry." I winced at the memory, I had never seen her so enraged and worried before, nor had I since.

"I wouldn't have told anyone." He said like it was obvious and to me, it had been. Back then and even now, no matter how much we might fight he would never betray me like that.

"Well, I know you wouldn't." We both went silent as he tried to think of something to say back.

"You'd be able to defeat Kanen on your own, wouldn't you?" Changing the subject much but… it was possible.

"I'm not sure. Maybe." I still wasn't clear about how strong my powers were, I had never tested them to the limit. I hadn't had the opportunity or a place to try.

"So what's stopping you? So what if Arthur finds out?" I stood up from the log, beginning to move away.

"I don't expect you to understand." How could anyone ever understand the sacrifices I had and would continue to make for Arthur. So I could be by his side. I liked to think it was just so I could keep him safe, so we could fulfil our destiny, but it was more than that. It always had been.

"Try me!" I heard him standing from the log as well, and settled on telling him a half-truth, the only type I seemed to know anymore.

"One day Arthur will be a great King but he needs my help! And if anyone ever found out about my powers I'd have to leave Camelot for good!" I had surprised myself at my own words not knowing I had already decided on the path I was going to choose. The road I was going to take would always be at Arthur's side and that meant I couldn't stay here. I had to go home.

"Are you telling me you'd rather keep your Magick a secret for Arthur's sake!? Than use it to protect your friends and family?!" He was outraged and disappointed, disappointed in me. I couldn't speak, I had no way to answer him. I didn't need to. "You're in love with him." He realised and I dropped my head, unable to see the hurt that was so clear in his voice but I nodded. Yes. "Him?! Why?! You're insane! He will never look at you that way, do you know that?! You're his servant, Merlin! And a sorceress! You're living in some fantasy where he's the Prince Charming that's going to save you but he will never love you! So why him?! TELL ME!" He was hurting and he was using it to fuel his anger, he knew I didn't love him like that. He had seen my eyes begging him not to say those words that day in these very woods, and it was killing him to see that I was in love with another. Someone who he believed would never value me as he did. Maybe he was right but there were so many things that made me love Arthur that Will just hadn't been able to do. That was why I could never marry him, even if I had no choice but to stay in Ealdor. Will couldn't fight my demons as Arthur did.

"Because he sees me! He sees when I'm hurting or scared or lost or alone and he fixes me. He makes me laugh and is there for me when I cry. He challenges me and pushes me to my limits. He inspires me and makes me a better person; a braver, stronger version of the girl that left here! You can say whatever you want about how it would never work, I already know that! But this is real! This is what's important to me now! I'm not worried about the future, whatever it brings. I have all I need just by being beside him." Will just stared at me, completely dumbfounded by my speech. I didn't wait for a reply that would never come, I just walked away. To gather wood and return to the man who would always hold my heart, no matter how impossible it was.

Arthur had already begun training the men when I got back and I avoided his questioning gaze at what took me so long in order to stand beside Morgana and Gwen who were preparing as many swords as they could.

"Your friend doesn't look too happy. You have another fight?" I just grunted in acknowledgement not wanting to go there. I stood by what I said and if Will couldn't accept that then it would seem our friendship had come to an end. I didn't know the first thing about forging weapons so I left the girls to that, keeping my eyes on the training villagers. They were terrible and there wasn't enough of them to make up for their inexperience. I began to gnaw my lower lip looking for anyone with potential.

"I won't be able to teach you everything there is to know about fighting with a sword, but you can learn the basics: the stance, how to parry a blow, how to land your own. On my count! One! Two! Three! Four! Now, you may have to watch for the feint. So, keep your feet moving, and only stay in range long enough to land your blow. And again. One! Two! Three! Four!" I couldn't bear to watch anymore, not a single one of them showed anything other than a minimal understanding of what they were meant to be doing. They were just lashing out at each other without thought, don't get me wrong sometimes the less experienced a fighter was the more dangerous they were –it made them hard to predict –but Kanen's men were brutal and we hadn't enough time to teach them properly. Still, they were trying and I refused to give up on them. I noticed Arthur taking the weapon from Mathew, he was brave but the worst on the field, and I knew Arthur had noticed as much himself. Mathew left to gather a horse and I only briefly wondered at where Arthur had sent him off to instead. His departure meant one less person fighting and we needed all the fighters we could get. If we were losing… I would have no choice but to use my Magick if it meant protecting my mother and, as angry as I was at him, Will. I had to trust in my destiny that Arthur and I would always help each other; whether that meant I didn't need to use it or I managed to use Magick without Arthur's knowledge, or he did see what I did… I had to trust that everything would work out in the end.

"There is no way they're going to be able to hold Kanen off." Morgana noticed and I wondered at what else we could do? What might tip the fight in our favour; a good plan was essential but we hadn't enough people unless…

"Men aren't the only ones who can fight." I reminded the girls and we each shared a smirk. Arthur was going to hate this plan. Morgana and I discussed how we'd broach the subject to him, leaving Gwen to carry on with the swords –she was far better at it than us anyway –and ended up cornering him by the well whilst the men took a break.

"Looks like the battle's already fought and lost." Morgana started whilst I stood beside her, my armour fastened and sword at my side. We wanted to look like the fighters we were, it was the only way Arthur would ever consider this idea.

"They'll toughen up." I doubted Kanen would give us enough time for that.

"They need to." Was all I could say, doubt gnawing my insides.

"How are we doing for weapons?" He interrupted, not even looking over at us. Just continuing to drink from the well. If he thought I was just going to stand aside and try making weapons he had another thing coming. This was my village and like hell, I wasn't going to fight for it.

"There isn't much but we should be able to scrape together what you need," Morgana answered because honestly, I didn't have the foggiest. I didn't know how much steel it took to create a sword, or how to sharpen sticks into spears or anything to do with it. I could polish and sharpen a sword but that was as far as my knowledge went, wielding one on the other hand… now that I was good at. Besides, my mother had a sword of her own now and if she was anything like me then she'd get the hang of it in time. I already knew she had the stomach for it, she may act and speak like a lady but she was anything but weak.

"It's not the weapons that worry us. It's having enough people to use them. Morgana and I want to train the women to fight." Arthur shook his head at us, not even taking us seriously and I was willing him to drop his cup down the well so he didn't have an excuse to ignore us.

"You haven't enough men. If they were trained soldiers maybe you'd stand a chance but they're not." Finally, he turned to look at us, begrudgingly but still, Morgana's words hitting some cord in him.

"It's too dangerous." Like hell. I left Arthur to go back to his men and headed for my mother's hut. If Arthur wasn't willing for the women to fight then I was damned well going to make sure my mother knew how to protect herself for is she needed to. After all, no matter what Arthur said, I wouldn't be hiding with her.

Arthur had barely spoken to me that night and I grew sad at the difference one day could bring. Only yesterday we had been laughing and messing around, talking when the others were asleep but now he was snoring softly on the ground beside me whilst I lay staring up at the ceiling.

"We don't stand a chance." I heard Gwen whisper from behind the curtain, obviously unable to silence her mind either.

"Arthur can't see it. He's too stubborn." I heard Morgana whisper back and I wished more than anything that they weren't here; that none of them had followed me because if one of them were hurt or died in the fight then it would be my fault. Because I was too afraid to do the right thing and use my powers. Because I was too afraid of losing Arthur.

"Why do you think he came here?" Because it was in his nature to fight for those who couldn't defend themselves. He was a Knight and a Prince. Responsibility and chivalry working hand in hand.

"The same reason we did. Merlin. Arthur may act like he doesn't care but he wouldn't be here if he didn't." One friend says he could never care for me, but another says he already does. Which one should I believe?

All the men were crowded into one of the barns, listening to Arthur's words with rapt attention. Each of them truly believing that he would be the one to save us, to help us save ourselves. Arthur clearly didn't share their confidence.

"We're not going to be able to defend Ealdor with sword and sinew alone we're going to need a plan. We need to find some way of limiting their mobility and drawing them into a trap. If we fight them on their terms, then –" Thankfully Arthur was cut short before he could share how little faith he had. Unfortunately, he was cut off by screaming. All of us ran out of the door, expecting Kanen's men to be attacking but all we saw was one lone horse riding back, a body lying across it. Mathew.

"Get him down from there!" Arthur ordered as I ran alongside him, my eyes telling me what my heart had already known. An arrow protruded from his back with a note attached to it. Two of the villagers laid Mathew on his side on the ground and I bent beside him, gently closing his eyelids.

"Your fight is over," I whispered, bowing my head in respect as Camelot's funeral words fell easily from my tongue. It was uttered for Knights who died in battle. Mathew was no different; he was still a brave man who was willing to fight for what was right and died in the process. My heart broke for the man who had always been kind to me. When the other villagers looked at me with suspicion he had shown nothing but a kind smile and a gentle hand. He was a good man. A brave man. Unfortunately, he would not be the last to fall before this battle was over. With as much respect as possible, I pulled the arrow from his heart, ripping away the note with it.

"What does it say?" Arthur asked, kneeling beside me in the dirt.

"Make the most of this day. It will be your last." Arthur and the villagers had no time to respond before Mathew's wife screamed for him, running through the crowd and pushing me aside. She hadn't much liked me before all of this and I was willing to bet that with Mathew's death her hate of me would have only grown stronger.

"You did this! Look what you've done; you've killed him!" A voice shouted and I watched as Will pushed his way through the crowd, taking his anger at me out on Arthur who just stood there looking stricken. I yelled back at him, pulling myself up from my spot still sprawled on the floor from when Mathew's wife had pushed me away.

"It's not his fault!"

"If he hadn't been strutting around treating us all like we're his own personal army this would never have happened!" I flew toward him, not sure what I was actually going to do, but Arthur held me back; his arms encircling my waist as he pulled me back against his chest. I tried to escape but his arms just tightened further and eventually I let myself fall into them, my strength leaving me as suddenly as the anger had arrived. Will just glared at us as Arthur responded to his ridiculous accusations.

"These men are brave enough to fight for what they believe even if you aren't!" Arthur's voice wasn't as sure as it usually was and I could tell that he was beginning to doubt himself but his pride would not let him admit it and I was glad for that because what he said was right. How could we not fight back when to back down meant starvation?

"You're sending them to their graves!" Will responded, equally as stubborn as Arthur was. "You've already killed one man. How many more need to die before you realise this is a battle that can't be won! When Kanen comes you haven't got a chance. You're gonna be slaughtered." Better to die a quick death by sword than a long, painful one by starvation. I watched Arthur as his face dropped at Will's departure, he truly didn't know what to do. I placed one of my hands on his arm where they still clung to me and watched to see his eyes turn down to mine. I smiled up at him sadly, wanting him to know that I stood with him. Always. When he finally released me I went after Will, fire burning in my heart as I threw open his door to see him packing up the few belongs he had.

"Don't bother, Merlin. I'm not interested."

"You should be." My voice wasn't the shout I had expected to come out but it was forceful enough to get him to look back at me. " Because tomorrow, Kanen attacks and whether you like it or not we'll have to fight."

"Not if I'm not here. I don't plan on being another one of Kanen's victims. If you want to spend your life that way, you go ahead."

"I'm not a victim, Will."

"Yes, you are. Just like my father, just like the villagers, just like me. We are the victims in this world. Left to rot until a nobleman needs us."

"In spite of everything that's happened, I have never thought of myself in that way. Being a victim means you're powerless. That you won't take action. Always, always I've done something to fight for myself. For others. No matter what. If you want to run away and hide, you go ahead, but the rest of us are staying." When he returned to his packing without a word I almost screamed at him but instead, I found myself wanting to get my friend back, knowing that if I let him walk away now I would never see him again. For us to part with anger and resentment in our hearts was not what I wanted. "Join us, Will. This isn't about Arthur. This is about your friends. Are you really going to abandon them?" When he looked at me I knew that this wasn't about anyone else, to him this was personal. It was about us.

"What, like you did?" That was different. When I left everyone was fine. I wasn't leaving them to savage bandits. And Will… I had known my leaving would be hard on him but it was for the best. I had wanted him to move on, find a woman that could love him back.

"I'm here now." And that was all that mattered. Our lives had taken different paths but as soon as I'd found out they were in trouble I'd come to help them. As a friend and a daughter.

"Yeah you are and you could end this! If you used your Magick then no one else would have to die!" Maybe he was right but it would cost me my own life… it would cost me Arthur.

"You know I can't."

"Can't or won't?" Both! Neither! I don't know but I couldn't! "I'm not the one abandoning these people, Merlin. You are." Maybe he was right…