Soifon found herself uncharacteristically screaming as they fell down the cliff toward the river below. "Oh shiiiiiiit!" Yoruichi wailed just before they hit the water. Soifon landed a few seconds after Yoruichi and with a painful splash she was underwater. The cool fresh water quickly replaced the clamminess of the Middle Eastern climate with a refreshing punch. Realising she'd probably have to breathe Soifon swam upwards toward the light of the sun.

Bursting out of the water she took a deep breath. The river's current carried her with relative speed down the canyon. Yoruichi burst through the surface a few seconds after her gasping for air. "That was fun" she said grinning

"You're insane!" Soifon said paddling toward the bank.

"Wait up" Yoruichi said swimming after her. Reaching the bank she glanced to see if she could see where the sniper was but they were out of their line of sight. Damn that was intense, Soifon thought as she pulled her t-shirt off and wrung it out.

Yoruichi started off toward the cave. Soifon decided against telling her that she may not be able to find the Temple of Solomon as she'd just got her maps wet. Yoruichi, however, seemed to have thought exactly the same thing as she stopped and pulled the mulchy ruined maps out of her coat. "Oh god dammit!" She wailed throwing them at a rock. They comically stuck there only to be kicked off by Yoruichi. With a splash the soaked ball of paper disappeared into the river.

"I remember where Babel is, come on" Yoruichi said not looking at her and crossing her arms. She continued to walk. Soifon followed dragging her feet, now it was Yoruichi giving her the cold shoulder. Maybe she should just call it a day…maybe this was the end, how it'd ever be, Yoruichi on an adventure with Soifon forever staring at her back. Was she not exalted in Yoruichi's presence? Was Yoruichi not the cement on her bricks, the gold on her circuit board, the cheese on her pizza? Why were they drifting apart now?

Soifon slipped her semi-dry t-shirt back on and picked up her pace, god only knows who's lurking around out here. This shithole was like something out of 'The Hills Have Eyes' she'd really rather be back in Rukon, chilling with Momo and Toshiro. Hiyori and Mashiro had disappeared along with Shinji and his buddies; apparently they decided to make a comeback as the Visored. Of course Bambietta and Hanataro were in Venice living the romantic lifestyle. Bambietta had become a published writer, she wrote under the Pen Name 'Faline' which was a pun on the fact Faline was Bambi's friend in the Bambi movie. Hanataro was of course on a full ride university degree to become a doctor.

After about an hour of walking Yoruichi stopped in front of a cave mouth which had what looked like an Illuminati all-seeing eye carved into the rock. "Yoruichi…" Soifon said "are we pissing off the Illuminati?"

"I hope not" Yoruichi said running her finger over the symbol "I most certainly don't"

"We'd better hurry before that Sniper gets a new vantage point" Soifon said glancing nervously over her shoulder.

"You're right" Yoruichi said. She stepped into the darkness and walked straight back out "there is…there is a tiger in there"

"A…what?" Soifon peered into the darkness and surely enough, beneath a single ray of sunlight a fully grown Bengal Tiger dozed on a rock "Why is that there!?" Soifon half whispered half exclaimed

"I don't know" Yoruichi said "come on"
"What!" Soifon said. Yoruichi rolled her eyes and disappeared into the cave. "Hey…wait" Soifon said chasing after her. Yoruichi managed five metres into the cavern before the Tiger stirred and raised its massive head. It fixed them a glare with its menacing amber eyes. "Shit, shit, shit" Soifon said

"Stop panicking" Yoruichi said not removing her eyes from the Tiger. From where Soifon stood it looked like Yoruichi was having a staring contest with it.
"What are you doing!?" Soifon exclaimed. Yoruichi continued to glare at the tiger… the tiger eventually cracked and lay back down.

"You're just a lonely big sap aren't you?" Yoruichi said jumping up on its rock and running her hand through its fur. The tiger let out a growl of affection and rubbed its head on her. "I'd love to stay longer but I've got some stuff to do!"

"Whoa" Soifon said "you never said you were the freekin Cat Whisperer"

"It never came up in conversation" Yoruichi said "I'm a catty woman. Why do you think I had a cat?"

"Can we just go?" Soifon said. She remembered Shunko, Yoruichi had left him in the company of Bambietta and Hanataro. It was actually quite fascinating, Yoruichi being able to tame a tiger! She'd never seen anything like it before. Just another thing that made Yoruichi better than her.

Yoruichi stood up and gave the tiger one last stroke and walked toward a torch lit pathway. "I wonder who lit these" Soifon said

"They look like they're fed by a series of tiny trickles of…hexane"

"You mean there is an oil vein under this place?" Soifon said sniffing the air that was thick with the smell of petroleum, it smelt like a Gas Station here.

"Perhaps" Yoruichi said "I've heard a rumour of a rumour that there is a massive Oil build up underneath Syria that was kept under wraps by the Russian Government in case the Oil up North drained away and they'd have some spare"

"Some serious CCCP shit right there" Soifon said

"Hmm" Yoruichi mumbled before grinning "I guess we'll just have to be wary of people with umbrellas from now on"

Soifon plucked a torch from the wall and walked with it. This corridor was obviously carved, it was straight and at the end there was a door. A large stone thing with what looked like letters on cylindrical dial. "Obviously we have to spell something to get through" Yoruichi said spinning one of the dials. With a loud and rather unnerving rumble another stone door descended locking them in the tunnel. "Why don't a like what's just about to happen?" Yoruichi said. Almost as if on cue the floor in front of the door exploded in fire, the jets of flame would incinerate someone in seconds and as Soifon noticed the blackened bones of a skeleton she felt it might just be her and Yoruichi next.

"Yoruichi, that fire is coming toward us" Soifon said as another section of the floor burst into flames. They had maybe five more metres before they were burned alive. "How do you open the door?"
"I don't know!" Yoruichi said wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. She grabbed Soifon's torch and held it up to the door and then it's surrounding masonry.

"Wait!" Yoruichi said, she ran the torch over a phrase. Quid enim maius est, quam Deus? It said

"What does that mean?"

"What is greater than God?"

"What?" Soifon said as another metre of the floor ignited. She saw more of the inscription: quod pejores diabolic?

"More Evil than the Devil?"

"I don't know!" Soifon said. Another section of the floor exploded. The Rest of the inscription went: pauper obviaverunt, dives non, Si comederitis tu mortem!

"The poor have it, the rich do not and if you eat it you die" Yoruichi translated

"I…uh Nothing?" Soifon said jumping back as the floor beneath her feet grew red hot.

"N…O…T…" Yoruichi said as she spelt it out

"Wait!" Soifon snapped "Latin?"

"Shit" Yoruichi said quickly rearranging the letters "Nihil"

The door let out a grumble and started to descend. "Holy, fucking, Jesus crap!" Soifon wailed as the floor beneath their feet begun to ignite.

"Jump!" Yoruichi said leaping over the descending door. Soifon followed suit and jumped. Pain seared up her leg as her jeans were burnt, luckily they were still a little wet from the river so they never caught fire.

"I…hate…this" Soifon groaned on the floor. Yoruichi looked down at her, her golden eyes glowing in the light of the fire. Eventually she grinned and said

"Well that dried me off" she turned and looked… more like stared open mouthed. "I…I've never seen anything like it"

"What?" Soifon said pulling herself off of the floor. "Whoa" Soifon said. The only thing she could liken it to was that underground temple in Alien Vs Predator. The Tower it's self-stood perfectly intact, lit by more torches it stood maybe a hundred metres tall, not very big by today's standards but Soifon could imagine people gazing in awe at it back in the old days. The tower looked like a combination of a pyramid and the leaning tower of Pisa. Or at least it had the same type of architecture.

"There's something you don't see every day" Yoruichi said walking toward it. The tower stood on an island in the centre of a large lake. The cavern it was located in was massive, maybe a mile wide at it' shortest. "Do you think since the Tower of Babel exists that means God exists?" Yoruichi said

"Not really" Soifon said "If God existed he'd have given me a break in live at least"

"Am I not a break?" Yoruichi said giving her a sideways glance

"I considered killing myself" Soifon said

"Aren't you glad you didn't?" Yoruichi laughed. Soifon scowled at her back, she could be so insensitive sometimes. "Now I don't see a boat"

"Just swim" Soifon said

"Notice how the banks of the lake are coated with gold" Yoruichi said she bent down and picked up a rock and dunked it in the water taking care not to put her fingers in the water. Eventually she took the rock back out and showed Soifon the rock which was almost completely dissolved.

"Acid?" Soifon said

"Yep" she said "by the looks of it and the smell I'd say it was Sulphuric"

"Not good" Soifon said. She looked around the bank "hey there is a rope bridge there"

"So there is" Yoruichi said squinting, sometimes Soifon wondered if Yoruichi needed glasses, she seemed quite short sighted. Yoruichi started on her way around the acid lake. "So many traps for one item" Yoruichi said

"Maybe it's not just this Millennium Item that is here" Soifon said "who knows what Biblical item is here"

"What like Helena's Nail?"

"Maybe" Soifon said

"I'd like to get my hands on the staff of Moses, or maybe…" she trailed off and stared twinkly eyed at the tower. Maybe this is where Nimrod is buried.

"Who dat?" Soifon said

"The Mighty Hunter Nimrod" Yoruichi said "he makes the God King Xerxes look like a petulant child"

"Oh"
"He was the OG of the old days, Midas, Ramses, Ceaser, they've got nothing on this guy. Apparently he's a Demon"

"Okay" Soifon said looking at the rope bridge it didn't look particularly stable. Yoruichi didn't seem to mind; in fact she just mounted it and walked across the corroded wooden places with a cheery smile on her face. Soifon waited until she was at the other side before getting on the swaying bridge over bubbling deathly acid that'd burn her supple flesh right off her bones. She quickly made her way across only pausing once when the plank she stepped on groaned unsettlingly.

"Hurry up" Yoruichi said crossing her arms

"I do apologise" Soifon snapped "I just want to keep my skin"

"Speed it up then" Yoruichi said. Soifon sighed and jogged the remaining few metres of the bridge and landed on solid stone scowling at Yoruichi. The main entrance was a large stone arch that was decorated with statues of angels which made Soifon wish she hadn't seen that episode of Dr Who. The floor was polished marble that was covered in symbols. "Enochian" Yoruichi said "the language of Angels, I hope we're not pissing off something worse than the Illuminati"

"The language of Angels?" Soifon said inspecting the symbols that were all arranged so as they made a huge seal.

"That seal" Yoruichi said "it's the Sigil of Astaroth"

"Another demon?" Soifon said

"Yep" Yoruichi replied "I think it's creepily suspicious that Astaroth is often likened to the Babylonian deity…Ishtar"

"Ishtar, huh?" Soifon said prodding a statue. She considered many times that this Marik kid was not throwing a straight one but she didn't know how deep it was.

"Let's continue our journey, shall we?" Yoruichi said raising an eyebrow at Soifon who rested her palm on the bare breast of an Angel statue. Red faced she snatched her hand away and stalked down the corridor with her hands in her pockets. The burn on her leg was a bit nippy but it wasn't 3rd degree or anything so she wasn't threatened particularly. "Caution" Yoruichi added "you never know if there are any tricks or traps lying around"

"Eyes peeled" Soifon muttered paying most attention to the floor.

Eventually they came to a staircase. "Do you think we'll just be able to get through this without any traps getting at us?" Yoruichi said taking a step on the staircase. After they were up about three steps there was another rumble. "That can't be good" Yoruichi said looking back. The first step fell away, then the second. "Run!" Yoruichi said sprinting up the stairs. Soifon followed, her foot just off the third as it fell.

The pace of the falling stairs picked up and Soifon found herself panicking as the stairs caught right up to her. "Hurry!" She shouted pushing Yoruichi

"I suck at running up stairs!" Yoruichi replied, almost screamed in fact. Soifon took two at a time and still it wasn't fast enough. The stairs were right on her heels now.

"Nearly there!" Yoruichi said. Soifon saw the top of the stairs as they ran.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap" Soifon wailed as she took one final jump onto the solid floor. Except the stair her foot was on dropped and she started to fall. With a startled cry she grabbed out and luckily her fingers found the edge of the floor and she was left hanging there panting.

Eventually she hauled herself up and stared cantankerously at Yoruichi "What the fuck was that!?" She shouted shoving her.

"What?" Yoruichi said looking at her

"I nearly died!" Soifon said "you could've lent a hand you know…when I was falling to my death!"

"I never saw" Yoruichi said rather absent minded "I can't bail you out all of the time"

"Whatever" Soifon snapped

"Anma Obloc ol olid vovin da Nimrod!" came a croaking voice from a room to their left. It was lit by yet more fire and was full of more statues.

"Who's there?" Yoruichi said

"Lrasd Ol Yoruichi Shihouin" came the croaking reply

"What language is he speaking?" Soifon said "how does he know your name?"

"Enochian" Yoruichi replied "I think Lrasd means garlic…or is it to eliminate…gosh I can't remember"

They entered the large cavernous room that right at the end, on a pedestal, a large golden ring with an eye on it sat. "Is that a Millennium Item?" Soifon said

"OI Millennium Item" came the croaking voice. The speaker eventually revealed themselves, walking slowly out from behind the pedestal. Soifon almost let her eyes bulge out of her skull. Yoruichi merely stared and let her mouth drop open…

"What…the fuck is that!"

***switch perspective…don't ask why***

Yoruichi lowered her brow and stared, that was a zombie…there was no questioning it. The black robed figure stalked toward them, its skin was decomposed and covered in pustules. It regarded them with empty eyes...literally, it had no eyes. "Z-Zombie" Soifon said backing away a little.
"Lit-Teloc olani oai" it said, it's voice held power, Yoruichi couldn't describe it, it was like being too close to a nuclear reactor, just knowing what lay inside that container was enough to make the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"So you're the guardian of this item?" Yoruichi said

"I…am" the creature said "I am a Golem"

"You look more like a Zombie" Yoruichi said

"Un-death is one of the many gifts granted to me by the Illuminati for my services"

"And what are your services?" Yoruichi asked crossing her arms.

"Funny you should ask" The Golem said. It whipped out a scroll and begun to read. "TORZV OFECVA NIMROD!" it roared. The Tower gave another shudder and the large plinth that the Millennium Item rested on shook. Looking at it Yoruichi thought it looked a bit more like a sarcophagus than a plinth.

This of course was confirmed when its lid fell open to reveal a corpse of a man dressed in old Babylonian garb. "He's a big guy" Yoruichi said noting that the body was at least seven feet tall.

"Awaken Nimrod!" The Golem said. Nimrod's eye lids opened to reveal two bright golden eyes, eyes that were very similar to her own. "You may be descended from the Asura's of Zoroaster, Miss Shihouin but you are no match for a direct descendant of Gilgamesh himself!"

"That's the thing about Zombies" Yoruichi said to Soifon over her shoulder "they name drop like sons of bitches, I'll have you know I met Robert Downey Jr once…we never actually spoke but I waved"

"I think we should run away" Soifon said

"Bullshit" Yoruichi said. There was no way she was missing a chance to fight a Zombie "I've played enough Skyrim to know that this is a boss fight"

"I never knew you were a gamer girl"

"I'm not" Yoruichi said scowling before doing a pose "I'm a gamer woman"

Nimrod said nothing. He stepped forward and pulled a sword that was easily bigger than the average claymore off of his back and pointed it at her with one hand. "Don't I get a weapon?"

"Did you not bring one with you?" the Golem said

"No"

"Then I'm afraid you're out of luck then" Yoruichi tutted and looked at the angel statues, they all held stone swords that were unlikely to help against Nimrod, she also had a .45 tucked into her trousers but that also would be useless.

"Soifon" she said "wanna be my wingman on this?"

"Not really" Soifon said but she yanked a stone sword from a stone angel's grip. This was a big mistake. Another rumble ensued and all of the angels began to slowly move. "Fuck" Soifon said after groaning loudly. "I'll get rid of the angels; you get Nimrod and Nimrod's nimrod"

"Yeah" Yoruichi said watching as Nimrod made his way toward her. She ducked under one of the stone angels swinging a clumsy blow for her head she used a disarming move and yanked the sword from the angel's grip. She swung the sword and smashed its head. "Smashing the heads kills them!" She said to Soifon who'd already racked up quite the body count.

"I know!" She said back

"Attack, Nimrod!" the Golem yelled before running away to safety.

Nimrod barrelled forward and swung that huge sword, he was fast. Yoruichi ducked under the sword and brought her foot up kicking the flat part of the blade. This threw his balance off and she swung the stone sword for his neck. He raised an arm and blocked it with some kind of metal gauntlet on his arm. "Fuck me, you stink!" Yoruichi said backing away from the embalmed undead corpse. She pulled out the .45 and fired her entire clip into its head.

Nimrod was barely affected by the flying lead and continued his onslaught of strong unlockable swings and powerful palm thrusts with that gauntlet clad arm. "I should call you Nemesis rather than Nimrod" Yoruichi chuckled as she dodged a swing from him and also a thrusting stab from one of the animated stone angels. She disarmed that angel and stood before Nimrod with two white stone swords in either hand.

"What is it Bambietta used to say…" Yoruichi said "oh yes…Come at me bro!" he obeyed and swung again, this time with both swords Yoruichi blocked it by crossing them over. She swished them apart throwing his balance off and did a twirling seven slash combo. The undead monster spilled out Formaldehyde and roared at her. Its lipless mouth constantly twisted into a grin or more a sneer.

Soifon, finished with the stone angels tossed a stone sword at Nimrod; he smashed it away with his sword and caught another. Soifon continued to pick up swords and expertly throw them at Nimrod. One even managed to get through his defences and bury itself deep in his shoulder.

Yoruichi darted forward and buried another sword into his chest. "Meretix!" Nimrod spat

"How dare you" Yoruichi said smiling slightly "I'm a respectable woman." He grabbed her and threw her back and swung his sword for Soifon. Soifon narrowly managed to jump over the blade and slash at him with another sword; they were fast running out of useable blades.

He stuck out his hand and grabbed Soifon. With his sword he aimed a stab. Yoruichi intervened before he could and held his arm with both hands. Damn it, he was so strong! "Let her go!" she said

"Non!"

"Do it!"

"Numquam" he said. Yoruichi twisted his arm and the bone broke. With another gut wrenching roar he released Soifon and drove a metal fist into the side of her head.

She was thrown off her feet by the force and was left on the ground dazed. The world spun and convulsed as she struggled to get her brain back to its original state. Nimrod approached her with the sword in his other hand. She slowly got to her feet as Soifon slashed at him again; he dodged it rather nimbly and kicked her stomach. With a pained groan Soifon was flung over ten feet. She landed nimbly on a pillar and jumped off. Descending on Nimrod with her sword held above her head she let out a roar. Yoruichi fainted around Nimrod and grabbed his sword arm into a lock.

Soifon's attack struck his neck and with a thwack his head rolled right off his shoulders. With a spray of embalming fluid his body went limp and crashed to the ground. "Congratulations" the Golem said pointing an MP40 at them "now die" Yoruichi dived to the side grabbing Nimrod's claymore as she went. Tossing it with all her strength the blade flashed through the air and buried itself right through his chest. He let out a squeal and was thrown off his feet. Yoruichi wasted no time, she skirted up toward the plinth and ripped the sword from the Golems chest and sliced his head off with one clean slash.

"Booyah!" Yoruichi said making a pose with the sword.

"That was…intense" Soifon said scratching her head "we're gonna get some decent weapons, I mean my and your father had those Katana's what have we got?"

"Perhaps we should pick them up when we are in Rukon, our fathers would be proud to see us wield their swords for such a noble cause"

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Soifon said

"What do you mean?" Yoruichi said

"This place, it was marked by the Illuminati, I just… I don't want to get on the bad side of yet another secret society"

"Don't worry about it" Yoruichi said

"But…
"Enough!" Yoruichi snapped. She ignored Soifon's complaining and walked up to the Millennium…Ring. Taking it from it's holder she weighed it in her hands. It felt quite light, it was a necklace so she wrapped it around her neck. The little decorations seemed to start quivering and moving. They all pointed in a concise direction…toward Soifon. Yoruichi stare curiously at it. "It's magical" Soifon said "I preferred it when Magic didn't exist"
"I think you're r…" Yoruichi trailed off when another of those rumbles echoed through the tower. "What now?" Yoruichi said. In the distance of the corridor which was actually rather long a tiny light shone.

"Holy shit" Soifon said

"What is it?" Yoruichi said cursing her short sightedness

"Fire!"

"Fuck" Yoruichi yelled. She looked around, was there a way out, only a window. She ran up to it and looked out. "C'mon"

"Okay" Soifon said running after her. Yoruichi tossed Nimrod's sword aside and briefly wondered what the Golem had meant by a descendant of an Asura?

Yoruichi looked down the tower again. It was a long way down but the approaching inferno quickly persuaded her that it was the right direction to go. Yoruichi jumped and was quickly followed by Soifon. They landed on the floor beneath them nimbly as fire exploded out of the tower above them. Yoruichi put her hands over her head as the incinerating jet of fire spilt out over the canyon. The walls of the cavern caught fire and started to burn blue. "Soifon, not to alarm you but that large deposit of oil is just about to go on fire"

"Then let's go!" Soifon said. They jumped to the next floor and then the one under than and then onto the ground, the Millennium Ring was only on the fourth floor and there was still at lead another six more above that. God only knows what else lurked in there!

They quickly navigated the rope bridge and made their way toward the exit. Unfortunately the blue fire of the burning wall completely covered their exit. "There must be another way!" Soifon said. Yoruichi looked around, in the distance she could see a faint light, rather than orange or blue like fire it was white like outside light. "This way!" Yoruichi said running toward the light.

"Wait" Soifon said struggling to release her foot from a pot hole.
"Stop wasting time!" Yoruichi said continuing to run. Soifon yanked her foot from the hole with a rather venomous looking scowl directed at Yoruichi. She paid it no heed and continued to run, Soifon close behind her.

The fire suddenly exploded outward covering the entire opposite side of the cave with fire. Yoruichi picked up her pace, heat and smoke seared her lungs as she ran, sweat dripped from her face and arms. The eventually reached the exit cave and began running down the rocky cave. With a yell Soifon fell over, damn she was so clumsy on her feet.
"C'mon!" Yoruichi said holding out her hand. Soifon scowled and smacked her hand away and pulled herself up. Yoruichi's eyes widened as the fire burst down the cave toward. "Shit" Yoruichi yelled and turned and began to run again, faster than she had ever ran before, her almost superhuman strength putting her running speed up to nearly 30MPH, she'd probably have broken a world record if it was recorded. Soifon was surprisingly keeping up.

The fire was right behind them, were they going to make it? She jumped as they reached the threshold of the cave and for a brief second she was in mid-air. Flames exploded out of the cave as she fell onto the ground. Luckily the mouth of the cave was a bit above the ground and the jet of fire missed roasting them by a few feet. Damn that was too close!

Soifon panted on the ground next to her, her breaths more like wheezes than pants. Sitting up Yoruichi found herself staring down the barrel of a .45. "S'up" Shura said

"Damn" Yoruichi said, with a quick gesture she smacked Shura's hand away and stopped when with her left she pointed another gun at her.

"I ain't stupid you know" She said smiling and taking two steps back and keeping one gun trained on Soifon and one on Yoruichi. "Hand it over then"

"Fine" Yoruichi said sighed, she pulled the Millennium Ring off and tossed it to Shura, she made no move to catch it merely letting it bounce off her chest at land on the ground. She was no amateur that was sure.

"Thanks" Shura grinned before catching the Millennium Ring with her foot and flicking it up and into a bag. She pulled a smoke grenade out and tossed it at their feet.

It burst and spewed out acrid smoke that left her stumbling around disorientated for about five minutes before it cleared. "Damn it!" Yoruichi said looking around for Shura "C'mon she can't have gotten far" she added starting in the direction Shura had stood.
"Yoruichi" Soifon said with obvious sadness in her voice.

"What?" She said turning, two tears streaked down Soifon's face

"I can't do this anymore" she said letting out a light sob "I…I'm going home"
"Soi…" Yoruichi stared as she turned and walked away. Pieces of a tiny puzzle eventually slotted themselves together as Soifon left, her not wanting Yoruichi's help because Yoruichi hadn't helped her when her leg was trapped. She couldn't bring herself to chase after Soifon. You've fucked up Yoruichi; she thought, you've fucked up real bad.

[End of Chapter 34]