Chapter 37: The Pun-ultimate Special Chapter
Disclaimer: I am shocked and offended by recent accusations that I'm being paid to promote certain products within this fanfiction, like Silph Co.'s NEW Ability Capsule, now available for only 199 BP at select battle stadiums near you!
~o~
Ah yes, the part of the story where you go straight from the explosive battle against the King of Fire to a fluffy pun chapter starring a Gyarados named Mr. Fin. I would ease the transition somehow in this authors note, but honestly I'm too busy laughing about it to be useful. Hopefully the Gyarados puns don't Drag-on, hahahaha, get it because they look like dragons?
Oh, this is going to be fun. Enjoy, and thanks for reading! XD
~o~
Violet Hikari hummed as she walked, swinging her arms as she made her way down the cheerful forest path. Wild bird Pokémon sang to the bright blue sky, the sun shone merrily through the new green leaves, and the warm air tasted of spring when she drew in breath to laugh, spreading her arms as she drank in the beautiful day.
She'd missed being on the road. Sure, Saffron City was amazing in a lot of ways, but somehow she'd forgotten what real fresh air was like after spending the winter in a sprawling metropolis. She felt all her troubles melt away under the warm spring sky, tilting her pale face up to catch the sunlight with a grin, completely content with the world.
Her Master ball shook furiously, held shut by a custom leather strap, and Violet could almost hear her Gyarados shrieking with fury, reminding her of why she was out in the first place. "Oh, Mr. Fin," Violet sighed, stroking the shaking sphere with a long finger. "Angry as always. Well, temper tantrums are all the 'rage' for Gyarados, am I right? They're completely 'mad' about them, haha!"
It was like she could hear Indigo's sigh of defeated aggravation, as if he'd given up all hope for humanity, even though he was babysitting the two troublemakers back at camp. She wondered for a brief moment if he'd really be okay, and shook her head to clear such thoughts. Her Lucario would be just fine. "After all," the dark haired girl mused out loud, "babysitting is 'child's play'." She grinned widely, enjoying herself immensely.
Indigo wasn't around right now. Which meant there was no limit on puns. Normally she at least tried not to cause his untimely death via excessive eye rolling, or other forms of exasperation, or 'pun'ishing him too much, so to speak, but now…
"Hey, Mr. Fin, I had mustard on a sandwich the other day that tasted really familiar. Total 'Dijon' Vu. I could have asked the waitress what kind it was, if I'd 'mustard' up the courage…I'm sure the memory will 'ketchup' to me eventually."
Mr. Fin's Master ball had long stopped shaking, calmed apparently by her voice, and the bouts of giggling following her sandwich puns. Danny had loved puns. When she was younger she'd thought they were extremely stupid. Over time, they grew on her, and after his death they'd reminded her of the time spent with him. She'd found out the hard way that puns were hard to quit once you got good at them. "I know so many puns, I could write an entire theatre play based on them," Violet sighed, talking out loud to keep Mr. Fin calm. "It would be a 'play on words'." She laughed good-naturedly, her silvery voice pealing through the woods.
Her good mood carried her along the path, and she reached the debris strewn shores of the lake Mr. Fin had unleashed his rage on the day prior, hopping over shattered trees on her way to the docks. "Hey, Mr. Kurosawa!" Violet called out, catching the attention of the man staring out at the water. "Sorry I'm early, I couldn't sleep. I kept wondering when the sun would rise, but then it dawned on me."
The grizzled fisherman turned to stare at her impassively with bright, blue eyes set in a brown and leathery face, half obscured by his thick white eyebrows. Stubble was sheared close along his stubborn jaw, and he wore faded overalls with a broken strap over a shabby plaid shirt. "Trails are closed off until those broken trees are cleared away, so you'll have the lake to yourself. My traps have contained most of the local water Pokémon to the south end, so the north is all yours. You sure you can handle this, little missy? Might be better to sell that Gyarados and get a tamer Pokémon. Serpents like that aren't safe."
"I know what I'm doing," Violet grinned with self-assured confidence. "And I can prove it. As promised, here's your Croconaw back – I spent a few hours on basic behavior conditioning and whistle commands last night. He'll be able to hear whistled high notes even underwater, which is much more effective than speech. Here's my notes on future training, plus a batch of red poke blocks to reward obedience." She handed the older man his Great ball, which she'd cleaned to a shine, a small notebook with neat handwriting and charts, and a Tupperware packed with smooth red poke blocks. "Oh, and take this too," the ace trainer remembered, taking a small spray bottle from her bag with bitter green liquid. "Durian Berry extract," she explained at his odd look. "Mist your pant legs with this, and the bitter flavor will stop Croconaw's biting in no time flat. Made it last night."
Mr. Kurosawa looked at the items in his hands, and laughed uproariously. "You know your stuff, little missy," he chortled, stowing his payment in his fishing bag. "Alright. I got your buckets of bait, just like you asked. I'll leave you to it then. I need to finish digging the well by my cabin."
"Sounds like a day 'well spent'," Violet joked, earning a half smile from the local. She unclipped her Master ball, releasing Mr. Fin into the waters of Lake Silver. The midnight blue Gyarados stretched upwards, casting a deep shadow on the water, easily dwarfing the trees.
Mr. Kurosawa whistled long and low, craning his neck up, his hands in his pockets. "Biggest Gyarados I've ever seen, and I've been around for more than a while. Looks right demonic, with that coloring. How on earth do you keep a creature that size fed?"
"Gyarados eat a lot, but only a few times a month," Violet explained, beaming at her starter. "But he survives on a standard sea monster diet of 'fish and ships', haha!" The fisherman rolled his eyes at her, stalking away while muttering under his breath.
Of course, his feeding had been interrupted quickly yesterday. Hunger shone in Mr. Fin's piercing gaze, and an ominous rumbling had started deep within his throat. He kept his disproportionate jaws above the water, sniffing deeply as he picked up the faint smell of blood from the bait buckets nearby.
Violet picked up the buckets without acknowledging her Gyarados, walking over to the sturdy metal dock on the north end of the lake. Mr. Fin followed in the water, his eyes never leaving the buckets of food. Violet's footsteps clanged on the metal surface as she hopped onto the dock, which extended almost halfway across the lake. "Waiting with 'baited' breath, I see," Violet murmured, her lips quirking up into a smile. "I'm glad I have your attention." She cracked open the lid of the five gallon bucket, revealing the bloody scraps from Mr. Kurosawa's previous catch, and the Gyarados' eyes gleamed with ravenous hunger.
Gyarados could just hunt for food, but this was something special. Mr. Kurosawa fished all over the area, including a small spring filled with a particularly delicious type of catch. It would be a perfect supplement to her training today. She needed his attention, after all.
Violet picked up a slippery fillet, dangling it in front of her Gyarados tantalizingly. She tossed the scrap in the air, where it was snapped up in a powerful crunch. It was gone in a single gulp; Mr. Fin glared at her, deep growling making his wishes known – more.
A pouch of many colored balls appeared from her backpack, and Violet showed them to her starter. He recognized them. They'd done this training a few times before. "Alright, Mr. Fin," Violet called out, her voice loud and clear, as she pitched the rubber balls as far into the lake as she could manage. "Let's see how 'on the ball' you are today! Bring those back to me!" Water surged white as the Gyarados dove, his white fanned tail splashing water on the dock in his haste. Within a minute he'd collected all the rubber balls in his mouth, depositing them at her feet. Another glob of meat rewarded his efforts. Next, his job was to only bring the red balls, and then the blue and yellow, as a warm up to the real training.
Mr. Fin was growing impatient, his long tail flicking irritably through the water as she took her time counting the balls from the last set. He growled sharply, tossing his head back and forth when she didn't move fast enough, diving and surfacing in quick succession so the water churned.
"Alright," Violet began, her lilac eyes serious as she held up two different balls. "Catch the blue balls with Crunch before they hit the water, and hit the red balls back to me with Aqua Tail, but only after they're in the water. Ignore all the others. You'll get a treat for every ball you deal with correctly, and one of my best rainbow poke blocks if you manage to get them all." She held up the glass container of creamy white poke blocks with gorgeous rainbow flecks, so smooth the surface was mirrored, and Mr. Fin grew very still.
"But," Violet warned, raising a finger, "if your temper takes over your reasoning skills, you'll get a shock from this." She unclipped the baton from her belt, snapping out the razor thin electric whip from Silph. Co. The wire snarled with jagged bolts of electricity. "No lasting damage, but it will hurt. This is your choice – we can stop here if you'd like. But unless you can master your temper, I won't be able to rely on you fully during battles. So, are you 'Fin'ished yet?"
Mr. Fin bobbed his head and snapped, in a gesture she'd taught him for 'no'. "Perfect!" Violet sang, beaming as she bent down to the pouch of balls. "I hope you pass with 'flying colors'," she said, as she pitched the colored balls over the lake. The first blue ball to take flight was snapped up in her starter's crushing jaws, as he leapt nearly out of the water in his eagerness to please her. She threw the second bare moments after he'd crashed back underwater, but he saw it in time to snap it up a foot from the water's surface. His tail surged through the churning water, shining with aquatic blue light, and struck three floating balls in a single strike, two red – and one yellow, caught by mistake.
"Close," Violet called, catching the balls thrown her way with an extendable fishing net. Mr. Fin snarled with irritation, striking the final two red balls back with more force than necessary, surfing back and forth with obvious agitation.
One blue ball bobbed innocently on the waves, and Mr. Fin knocked it into the trees with a slap of his white fanned tail.
"Don't worry, you'll get it!" Violet soothed, snagging as many balls as she could reach with her net for the second round, and retrieving the blue balls he'd caught. "You earned six treats out of ten. Well done!" She tossed the delicious morsels into her serpents gaping maw, where they vanished in an instant, and they began again.
They changed up the patterns and colors, adding trick shots and signals to the regime. He got eight, then seven, then four of the balls in each set, his temper growing shorter with every failed ball, until his eyes flashed with fury and his howl sent any wildlife nearby fleeing for cover. Water surged as he struck towards her, completely devoid of recognition.
Violet was fast – she had the lightning whip in her hand in a second, activating the electric current while the braided steel wire hissed through the air. It cracked against his midnight blue scales with the force of a bolt of lightning, and his howl of anger cut off with the sharp pain, reason returning to his glazed and empty eyes. He stopped just short of the dock, his breath heaving.
The Gyarados crooned apologetically, sinking low into the water miserably, and Violet scratched the scaly ridge above his eye. "It isn't your fault," she soothed, trying to keep her voice calm despite her thundering heart. "You just evolved; of course this is hard for you. I'll help train you, so you remember the things you love even when you feel angry. I forgive you, okay?"
Easy enough to say, but the incident reminded Violet that her Gyarados could kill her, quite by accident, if he didn't learn to master his temper. And if she got herself killed, Indigo would never forgive her, she was certain of it.
Positive stimulus to reward good behavior. Negative stimulus to check dangerous behavior. And above all else, remind her Gyarados of the very real bond they had formed during his previous evolution, without which there would be little to no chance of ever restraining his fury.
She knew the steps. This wasn't just naïve pride. Violet was trained to deal with this; even if her Gyarados was large enough to eat the other difficult Pokémon she'd trained in Star Labs in a single gulp.
Mr. Fin was still looking despondent, the rumbling in his cavernous throat causing queer ripples on the surface of the lake. "Hey, Mr. Fin, wanna hear a joke?" Violet asked, leaning down with a conspiratorial grin. "How do you get a group of Squirtle onto a bus?"
Mr. Fin tilted his head up slightly, regarding her with suspicion in his large glassy eye. "You 'Poke-em-on'!" Violet finished, striking a pose, only to be doused with gallons of water as Mr. Fin flicked his white fanned tail towards the dock as he swam back to the middle of the lake, grumbling the whole way. "That isn't enough to 'dampen my spirits'!" Violet laughed, glad to see his temper so improved.
They delayed the training for another hour, to dry off the supposedly water proof lightning whip in the sun, just to be safe, and to allow Violet a sandwich lunch, preserved from the water with sealed plastic bags, and then they began again.
Six times more, Mr. Fin lost his mind in a fit of searing rage, and had to be subdued with a jolt of electricity. By the last, Violet was forced to use the whip three times before his rationality returned, diving to the side as soon as the last blow struck to avoid his snapping jaws. His misery afterwards was palpable, and his anger towards himself burned sullenly brighter with every incident, like a bed of simmering coals under a gust of wind. His slashing tail left a wake of white froth.
Violet checked the progress of the sun down the expanse of sky with a frown. They needed to finish up soon. On one hand, Mr. Fin's flashes of rage were growing further apart as his control improved…but when he did snap, it was harder and harder to break him out of it.
Mr. Fin surged out of the water, snapping up a blue ball in his powerful jaws, hanging suspended for a moment in front of the newly setting sun, the entire length of his blue black body above the lake's surface. He crashed back down, slamming a floating ball towards the dock with an Aqua Tail before he plunged below the surface. Violet caught the pitch with her net, a slight smile on her face. "Perfect," she breathed, pride swelling in her chest. "Fantastic. Fintastic, haha!"
He was ready to start the final phase for the day. Violet bit her lip, hoping this was going to work, and took a deep breath.
"Enough warm up. Mr. Fin, it's time we had a battle, you vs me."
~o~
The wild Pokémon around Lake Silver cowered in nests and burrows as the deranged howling of a Gyarados reverberated through the forest. Waves crashed against the debris strewn beach, as the normally glassy surface of the water bucked and surged as if being buffeted by the gale winds of a storm. Particularly big waves crashed with regularity against the metal dock extending into the center of the lake, until the surface was slick and treacherous. A girl stood on the edge of the dock with a whip of living lightning, facing off against a towering sea serpent with scales that shone in the embers of the dying sun.
"Come on!" the girl shouted, fire flashing in her eyes, as another wave crashed over the dock, nearly knocking her off her feet. The Gyarados shrieked with battle lust, snapping forward with steel crushing jaws, only to be driven back by a crack of the electric whip. His fanned tail surged through the waters of Lake Silver, driving a veritable wall of water towards the lone girl on the dock.
She dropped to her stomach, grabbing the edges of the dock before the wave hit. The powerful wave surged over her, tearing her hair free from its pins. It took all her strength not to be carried away with the tide. Violet gasped for breath, striking forward with her whip the moment the wave broke, repelling her Gyarados before he could reach her. She was on her feet again in bare seconds, and they watched each other warily, waiting for an opening.
It was simple. For his final challenge, Mr. Fin had to knock her off the dock. He couldn't get close without risking the hated sting of electricity, but his improvised waves had so far been unable to knock her down. His lack of long range moves had been his downfall in many battles over the winter, and his limitations had begun to show. He was not pleased with this.
But despite his battle lust, her Gyarados had begun to look at her with a wary respect, as the battle dragged on without conclusion. He hadn't lost his temper once during their twenty minute fight as he channeled all his attention onto her.
Violet was focused too. She kept her gaze on her starter, taking note of every twitch and motion to predict his movements.
As such, neither of them noticed the curious Pokémon on the edge of the pier, right before land met water. The Pikachu nudged the knapsack on the shore with his head inquisitively, and prodded at the tasty smelling Tupperware with the edge of his tail. The cute little Pokémon circled the strange items, smelling their odd scent, as if there weren't a rampaging Gyarados howling nearby.
Mr. Fin struck, and Violet held down the button to activate the lightning on her whip, letting go once she'd struck his jaw with a crack, catching the Pikachu's attention. Slowly and cautiously, the Pikachu padded along the surface of the metal dock, as it shuddered and creaked ominously as the far end was struck with another wave. Violet didn't see him stop behind her, readying her whip for another strike. The Pikachu stood up on his hind legs, craning his head up to get a better look at the weaponized snack.
She pressed the button as Mr. Fin surged up at her from just under the water, and the Pikachu leapt, biting down on the whip with determination. Power surged, and the little Pikachu glowed with power as lightning cracked around his red cheeks, super charging the wild Pokémon in a sudden burst of light, as the whip fizzled and shorted out.
Violet dropped the suddenly dead lightning whip, turning her head with stunned surprise as her Gyarados' head broke free of the water in front of them, his gaping jaws lined with wicked fangs.
"Chu!" the Pikachu squeaked with alarm, firing a full force Thunderbolt in a panic. The supercharged blue-white bolt of lightning struck dead on, and Gyarados reeled, throwing his head back with a keening cry of pain. His eyes opened, focusing on the Pikachu currently streaking away down the dock in a flash, too quick to catch.
And as the Pikachu ran past Violet's bag, it snatched the Tupperware of Rainbow Poke blocks, which were supposed to go to Mr. Fin, determinedly in its teeth, and bounded away into the forest.
Violet clapped her hands over her ears as Mr. Fin shrieked with unstoppable bloodlust, his howl blowing back her wet hair. He threw his head back as his serpentine body arced up and up into the sky, bloody crimson surging around his scales of midnight in a Dragon Dance which stained the very air with a metallic tang.
Violet dove for the burned out whip, pressing the button over and over again, producing small bursts of power. "Come on, come on," she said frantically, as Mr. Fin's empty eyes focused on her. The whip flickered and turned on with a hum of power, just as Mr. Fin dove towards her with gaping jaws, and Violet struck.
The whip hit his scales, but the enraged Gyarados didn't even flinch, utterly blind to pain in his state of unreasoning, murderous rage. She struck him again, and a third time, and it didn't work. Violet dove into the water a second before his Crunch demolished the dock she'd been standing on. She curled into a ball as shrapnel streaked around her, and powerful currents threw her deeper into the lake. A sheet of scrap metal struck her right arm with such force she cried out involuntarily, her bubbles of air escaping to the surface. Blood tainted the water from a cut to her right temple, and her right arm screamed with pain, but Violet kicked for what she thought was the surface with an instinctive drive. Her head broke the surface, and Violet coughed water as she struggled to breathe, the sky a maelstrom of boiling clouds above the heaving swells of the normally placid lake.
Violet gasped, trying to block out the pain in her arm, struggling to stay above the waves. Mr. Fin's thrashing tail slammed into the water only a few feet away as he contorted with helpless rage, and the crashing wave broke over her head.
The whip was nowhere to be seen. And her Master ball was all the way on shore. She had to calm him down, somehow, but if even the whip hadn't been enough to snap him out of it-
"Mr. Fin!" Violet shouted, hoping the name he'd grown used to as a Magikarp would help return his rationality.
The midnight scaled Gyarados turned to look at the lone girl in the water with flat, hungry eyes.
Violet gulped.
"I-I'm sure that Pikachu didn't mean any harm!"
The howling stopped, replaced by a low, basso rumble deep in his cavernous throat. The Gyarados began to swim closer, his massive crested head weaving back and forth as he moved, never looking away from her.
"You just surprised it, that's all!" she tried again, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. She tried to calculate how long it would take her to get to shore, but she knew she'd never make it. "I can make more Poke blocks, so it's no trouble, really!" Her earnest plea fell on deaf ears, as Mr. Fin opened his jaws, giving her a perfect view of his gleaming white fangs, as he prepared to strike.
Violet let out a breathless laugh which was half fear, her eyes frozen wide as she realized there weren't any more options. "Guess this is the 'fin'ale, huh?" she joked, a lame pun the only thing her brain could come up with in the last, adrenaline filled moments of her life.
Mr. Fin's teeth snapped closed, a bare foot in front of her face. Violet blinked.
Her Gyarados didn't move, his growl changing to a quizzical tone. Her mind started working again, and Violet spoke, taking advantage of his sudden confusion with a stream of words. "You know, almost drowning just now was a real…'breathtaking' experience?"
Mr. Fin reared his head up to glare at her with exasperation, and she could see her beloved starter's mind return. "Oh! Mr. Fin, that's great!" she gushed, filled with a burst of happiness. Lame jokes had been a big part of Mr. Fin's days as a Magikarp after all. Why had she never thought of this earlier? "Hey, Mr. Fin, that dock sure broke easily, huh? Guess it gave in to 'pier pressure'!"
She was still giggling when her Gyarados dipped his head beneath the water, and rising beneath her so she was riding on his head. Violet was elated. But just because this had worked once, didn't mean it always would. Violet decided to test the waters, so to speak. "I bet you're still mad about our cute visitor earlier, huh?" she said carefully, and sure enough, Mr. Fin howled with rage, his temper snapping like a dry rubber band. She held onto the ridge over his brow, narrowly avoiding being thrown free. "Hey now, it was only curious! I'm sure it just wanted to 'Pik-a-chu', haha!"
His roar cut off abruptly, and Mr. Fin shook his head a little, his voice changing to a confused croon. "Oh, this is great," Violet sang with satisfaction, patting his scales. She would have to keep up the puns. After all, there wasn't a choice, was there? Her earlier fear was forgotten, as she beamed with utter bliss. "You know, I tried to catch some fog yesterday? But I 'mist'. Oh, do you know the vegetable which is forbidden on all ships? It's a 'leek', haha!"
Mr. Fin deposited the laughing girl on the shore, as the twilight shadows lengthened. "This is perfect," Violet breathed, looking with love at her beloved Mr. Fin. She would always be able to calm his rage now, thanks to all the time she'd spent with him as a Magikarp, and the terrible power of bad puns.
A thought occurred to her, and Violet frowned, her forehead creasing. "Oh. Oh, Indigo is going to hate this."
But that was a problem for another day. Violet returned her Gyarados, and turned back towards camp with a smile on her lips, and a list of new puns which could actually save lives sometime in the future.
Special Chapter: Fin